helow beautiful women in the house. pls ur honest answer is needed here. pls put urselv in the shoe before u ans. ur Ex who left u two yrs ago knowing that u were carring his child, came back to ask ur hand in marriage after ur daughter is born and u pass through the whole challengs all alone, will u marry him? if yes, what's the driveing force behind the marriage? if no, why not? it's happening to a co worker right now. as for me, if my Ex show up with that kind of stupid proposal, i'll plan with my husband and hurt him back.

chaircover: This happened to someone I know.

He came back after baby was born and the mum had been through so much

She got back together with him for reasons best known to her and the man took off again.

Only an irresponsible man leaves his pregnant woman and doesn't show up after the baby is born and it will only be in rare cases that that kind of man will change for the better. Tell your colleague not to waste her time with this one unless she can prove beyond reasonable doubt that he has really changed. She should be ruled by common sense and not her heart. she has a baby to consider.

Seconded.

Its sad how some men treat women I feel he might be going through some things and ppl might have advised him to go look for her so that it will be well with him. However that cannot be a good foundation for a long lasting and blissful marriage. He has to prove that he loves her and respects her now, because obviously he didn't before.

@chaircover i love that. ''be rule by common sense not the heart'' some women go back like that becos of the baby and they dont want to have separete family even if they dont love the man. but to me, a man who left his pregnant woman pending when the whole pains is over before coming for apology dont deserve to have a woman.

parisienne:

Seconded.

Its sad how some men treat women I feel he might be going through some things and ppl might have advised him to go look for her so that it will be well with him. However that cannot be a good foundation for a long lasting and blissful marriage. He has to prove that he loves her and respects her now, because obviously he didn't before.

Exactly. as if u were there. according to him, the lady is holding back his blessing, so he came back to right the wrong.

Oh my God! Not again. She shouldn't.
My bestie is in the same terrible situation. They were even married and the guy abandoned her with 2months pregnancy. Didn't show any responsibility financially even after the baby boy was born till he was over a year (he didnt look even look for the child and was in Nigeria o and aware of the birth of the boy. She sort for divorce when the child was 1yr and then the man started begging. Her mother succeeded in convincing her that its not good for a woman to have children with different men so she should forgive the man.
Of course she forgave him but couldn't love the man again. Infact all the beg the man begged was "wash". After she moved back in with him, she realised he was the same. No change. Unfortunately she was already pregnant again. She doesnt love the man one bit. Everything about the man disgusts her but she is already pregnant and so she is stuck! And her conscience didnt let her commit abortion. One month into the pregnancy, the man wanted to leave again but his friend stopped him. He doesnt even show love to their son.
Summary:
Sorry for the long talk. My point is If he left before, he will leave again. Such men have no CONSCIENCE.

Na wa o!

What I don't understand is why they come to beg. One would think coming back to beg out of the blue is a sign of remorse and willingness to change but apparently it's not for these examples. So what was the motivation for coming back to beg?

@degurl, am so sorry for that ur frend. but how can a woman accept a man whom she does'nt love anymore? is it a must she marry him? now she's stuck, she's still going to experience the same loneliness again with this pregnancy.

ileobatojo: Na wa o!

What I don't understand is why they come to beg. One would think coming back to beg out of the blue is a sign of remorse and willingness to change but apparently it's not for these examples. So what was the motivation for coming back to beg?

My dear, most of them come to beg when things are not working well with them. then they suddenly remember there's someone they'r hurting, so they come back to beg. not becos they've change or they care o. why some delibrately hurt the woman and stay away so when she strugle all alone and didnt die in the process, they come back and beg.

Once a soldier always a soldier,

Once a bailer always a bailer.

Her call, her choice!

I would marry him in a JIFFY!
She has already produced a child with him.
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW. . .IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN YOU MAY NEVER KNOW!
Amen!!!

ASK ANNIE MACAULAY AND LOLA OMOTAYO who married TUFACE AND OKOYE TWIN A OR B. . .AFTER PRODUCING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK!

YOU DON'T CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH!

mgbeketoto: I would marry him in a JIFFY!
She has already produced a child with him.
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW. . .IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN YOU MAY NEVER KNOW!
Amen!!!

ASK ANNIE MACAULAY AND LOLA OMOTAYO who married TUFACE AND OKOYE TWIN A OR B. . .AFTER PRODUCING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK!

YOU DON'T CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH!

well, u'r entittled to ur opinion madam. but i think marriage is not all about ''he must marry me becos he's the one that got me pregnant and am carrying his child'' lots of peopl entered into marriage with that mentality and things really got bad for them.

Blood they say is thicker than water, i don't want a situation whereby my daughter will be disturbing about who her father is in the future. Maybe he has turned a new leaf, why not give him a chance, make efforts to make things work again and try to 4give and forget the past, cos as a matter of fact he is the undisputed father of your daughter, and even if you move on have it at †ђξ back of your heart that he will αℓωαчs come back for †ђξ child, and probably sue you. Its more complicated than you can think buy its better to give him another chance.

As far as i'm concerned, it's a two-way traffic, if he comes back feeling very sober of what he had done, with excuses such as........"i never knew what went over or wrong with me", "i discovered within me that i shouldn't have treated you that way", "i'm now a changed person and i have come to back to my senses to make amends", i will give him a second chance, but with a condition that if it happens again, he shoudn't bother to come begging again, because i will not accept.

However, if he comes back with an excuse or reason that if he doesn't come back to me, things will not work out well for him or that im the gateway to his success in life or that he had come to beg so that his light can shine again, then, i wont accept, because it means if not for those reasons, such a guy wouldnt have shown up again.
May God help us all.

[quote author=Stegomiah]Blood they say is thicker than water, i don't want a situation whereby my daughter will be disturbing about who her father is in the future. Maybe he has turned a new leaf, why not give him a chance, make efforts to make things work again and try to 4give and forget the past, cos as a matter of fact he is the undisputed father of your daughter, and even if you move on have it at †ђξ back of your heart that he will αℓωαчs come back for †ђξ child, and probably sue you. Its more compli. so no mater how bad he treat u, he's always welcome becos he's the man and u are the woman? u are not taken his child away from him, but is the child the only driveing force for the marriage? ok o. we are all learning sha.

@greatgod2012, i follow that ur two way trafic. may God help us. Amen

mgbeketoto: I would marry him in a JIFFY!
She has already produced a child with him.
THE DEVIL YOU KNOW. . .IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN YOU MAY NEVER KNOW!
Amen!!!

ASK ANNIE MACAULAY AND LOLA OMOTAYO who married TUFACE AND OKOYE TWIN A OR B. . .AFTER PRODUCING CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK!

YOU DON'T CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH!

Tuface and Peter Okoye didn't bail when they were pregnant, they just didn't marry them because they were pregnant

'''' '

Na wao

When a woman is pregnant she can deceide to keep the child or abort it. There is little the man can do. The news of a baby can be a big shock when one is not married for the girl as well as the man. It might be that the man was just not ready and panicked. The longer he stayed away the harder it is to go back and beg.
I think she should judge the man from all she knows about him not just this one incident. It could be he was just not ready.
Besides man men never even bother to come looking for the child, he did.
Allot of people might say no don`t take him back but it is very hard to raise a child without a father. If you think it was hard in pregnancy and when the child is a baby you are making a real mistake. The problems start when the children get older. Especially for boys, you need to have a real strong personality to cope.
The world has not changed much in certain things, children without fathers are still discriminated against and sometimes face abuse.
Sad as it might be, it is better to have divorce parents thanto have a single mum.
She should despite everything be happy that there is new chance to make it work.

ileobatojo:
Na wa o!

What I don't understand is why they come to beg. One would think coming back to beg out of the blue is a sign of remorse and willingness to change but apparently it's not for these examples. So what was the motivation for coming back to beg?

. The baby simple