Hehehehe!!
Reminds me of when I wanted to board a bus and d conductor was busy shouting in Igbo ~òfú onyé fifty naira ònyé búrú íbú 100 naira~. Meaning a single person fifty naira whilst a fat persön is expected to pay 100. #meant no harm#

I will quickly check to confirm that all passangers are not male. if so, I will get down immediately.

Oh Mr. Jessica how about buying yourself a Bugatti and stop being a big cry baby? Just saying

You just can tell folks how to live there life not go on with their daily routines

@Op Make you come Port Harcourt come see 1923 Nissan Urvan buses wey dey run Rainbow/Slaughter...or the 1892 "Ekwulobia Express" wey dey under Isaac Boro Park Flyover.

Lool..this was funny

I only fear fat people wen entering a bus, I can manage the others. Shift na, I say shift na, where I wan shift go, make I melt join the motor.

I like the way the OP writes, such creativity and satire would make your blog a nice read. Be original - keep it up.

Most bus drivers, because the bus is usually not theirs tend not to take good care of these buses. They like taking dangerous risks and trying to save money instead of putting the condition of the buses in proper shape.

It doesn't make sense to stop half way and give passengers back their money when you could have saved all of that initially.

It's difficult to identify all the red lines but older men are usually the more responsible ones, they've got families to look after. If the conductor's eyes are red or his breath reeks of alcohol and you probably have no chance to seat in front and assess the driver's 'state of mind', it's likely they're 'partners' in the crime of irresponsibility.


One last thing; at night, always check for the buses that have working lights - that's a dangerous negotiation that causes disasters.

hahahaha!!! I just cracked my ribs..very hilarious buh so on point..

mosho2good: End Time TinZ..........

Seun pls we need Lunatic section on Nairaland so all these End Time guys,space booked guys,empty comment guys and those 1st to comment guys will continue their madness there.so we can enjoy our discussions

@Op....*in Rick Ross voice*....Itz nt your fault you are jst Jobless.....huh!!...Darelee Nairalee..

You don enter danfo wey dem mess inside before?

I consider not sitting close to d conductor

U want to kno wot a ph boy tinks b4 boarding a lagos bus? Nice try chap. I'm nt sayin u'r stip1d buh if it turns out u r then d M.O.D who put ds on front page is ur mentor

Guy, I understand with you...one must be picky and extremely choosy in a place like Lagos!

I was in lagos Dec. 2012. And what the writer said about driver's eye is true! My uncle literally fought a "crazy red eyes" driver when he ran his crazy old car into ours, another incident of note was when a bus driver keeps switching lane on third Mainland bridge, on our way to Ikoyi. "Crazy red eyes Nigga driver"

moscobabs:
Seun pls we need Lunatic section on Nairaland so all these End Time guys,space booked guys,empty comment guys and those 1st to comment guys will continue their madness there.so we can enjoy our discussions

I agree

FDB!!!

Sounds funny but true. Especially lagos buses. Even Brt's are almost turned to molue. I remember when i board ed a bus and i was the only female in the bus, i was like WTF??! If not that i had an appointement in the hospital and buses plying the road to the hospital was scarce, i would have gotten down but i had no choice. Had to go on the bumpy ride like that.

Haahahahaa. Very true

But that what makes lasgidi an interesting place

Lagos buses na die. I remember being stabbed by a motor part just because of a small pothole. So, when sitting in those buses i hold on to something because any slight bump may lead to a catastrophe. I also think people who put those buses on the road intended that passengers don't have their bath before embarking.

buh i don't leave in Lagos

Dis nairaland sef...first na d garri group,now na end time tinz..una no taya?
@op,all u said is true oo..esp. abt d fat ppl part,dat is every average-sized passengers' nightmare!

You forget to add entering with the correct fare in other to avoid embarrassment on forgeting your balance.

You forgot to add entering with the correct fare in other to avoid embarrassment on forgeting your balance.

It happens once in a while to me wen I've to sit in between 2 "generously sized" women I had to sit with half of my bottom on d sit for a journey of about 1.5hours....... on alighting d bus I developed 'paja paja' on my bottom.

add ons: the state of the windows and the roof are very important during the rainy seasons u dnt want to be in a bus when it rains only to find out that it has no windows to close or the roof is leaking

omg try sitting in abus filled wt pomo sellers, all dressed in pomo raiments, after sales, goin back to ago iwoye from ketu garage. omg

dayoade2007: It happens once in a while to me wen I've to sit in between 2 "generously sized" women I had to sit with half of my bottom on d sit for a journey of about 1.5hours....... on alighting d bus I developed 'paja paja' on my bottom.

As in kill dog kill dog. A phat ppl suppose to av their own cars. This intimidatn has got to stop