ileobatojo:

Buka, don't guilt or scare this woman into marrying this guy. No curse can stick if she makes good faith effort to do things right. About the unquantified things you mentioned, that is true for any relationship, doesn't mean one can't end it whenever you want.

Ngokafor: @Vure,this is my take on your case....am sorry but i dont entirely buy your story about the so-called possessivenes of your guy,me think your eyes have been opened to see that you can do better 'husband wise' now that he has tushed you up so to speak.The guy is/was a craddle-snatcher no doubt but i blame you and your mum(am sorry) more for allowing a MAN single-handedly see you through school like he's father christmas or something,that is so wrong cos the poor guy was clearly doing so cos he wanted to marry you and am sure you all knew that!!...now you appear stuck with no easy way out


...my dear,you owe him a whole lot and complaing about his 'possessive nature' will not cut it right now cos am sure you knew how 'bad' he was all the while he was doling out cash to you in school,yet you kept on fleecing him...a really tricky situation you have found yourself in...what a pity!

...i didnt mean to be judgmental but i can imagine how crushed and taken for a fool this guy would feel if you dump him now(whch i suppose is inevitable)...

...

Nashville:

I agree with everything you said except calling this guy a craddle snatcher. He is yet to sleep with her at 21. Even if they started dating when she was 17, is that too young? Dont some women get married at 19? You have spoken well except that little bit!

ileobatojo:

Buka, don't guilt or scare this woman into marrying this guy. No curse can stick if she makes good faith effort to do things right. About the unquantified things you mentioned, that is true for any relationship, doesn't mean one can't end it whenever you want.

Nogen:

You don't commit yourself into a relationship you knew wasn't going to work. I remember in my second year in the Uni, a friend in Europe sent me some Euros. My mum got to know of it, she wasn't pleased at all. She made sure every cent was returned. She said when you collect such gifts from a man, it means you have consented.

Nashville:

I completely disagree with you. Calling this man a predator is very unfair. He never slept with her even at age 21. He sent her through school and has not demanded anything in return. If anything, he believes Vure loves him out of her own free will because that is what she has made him believe. He may have character flaws like everyone else but he is not a predator - you can go check the definition again. The lesson goes both ways and in this case may be more for the ladies. The man has not done anything wrong and its very possible that when Vure eventually tells him she is not interested, he may even take it well. But I will advice when breaking up, get some men around you including a cardiologist!

bukatyne:

I can bet that if the man was younger, more polished, handsome and richer, she might not have noticed all the flaws she complains of now

bukatyne:

The truth is that she has given this guy her consent (spoken or unspoken) that's why he trained her through school. He might have wanted her to 'concentrate' as a student or mature that was why he did not marry her.

Wiser men who practice this style usually marry the girl first before sponsoring. With that, they are sure that their investment will not be in 'vain'.

I can bet that if the man was younger, more polished, handsome and richer, she might not have noticed all the flaws she complains of now

Nashville:

I completely disagree with you. Calling this man a predator is very unfair. He never slept with her even at age 21. He sent her through school and has not demanded anything in return. If anything,he believes Vure loves him out of her own free will because that is what she has made him believe. He may have character flaws like everyone else but he is not a predator -

Chillisauce: Lets wait the man to abuse before calling him one. Give him the benefit of doubt .

I think the girl here is the abuser .

She ate his money and him never chop Pomo. Now she wan run.
You never start!

theLORDreigns:

Else, you are coming off as someone who just finished enjoying the good side of a maga & suddenly wants out when its their turn to bend over.
I sincerely hope I'm wrong about that last part, dear.

Chillisauce:
Lets wait the man to abuse before calling him one. Give him the benefit of doubt .

I think the girl here is the abuser .

She ate his money and him never chop Pomo. Now she wan run.
You never start!

ileobatojo:

So if you commit yourself to a relationship you can never leave? What about broken engagements? The bride that canceled her wedding and invited the homeless nko? Was she not committed? People that marry and divorce? Did they not commit themselves? There are no guarantees in matters of the heart except you are saying people can no longer express their free will in relationships.

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

Ngokafor: @Vure,this is my take on your case....am sorry but i dont entirely buy your story about the so-called possessivenes of your guy,me think your eyes have been opened to see that you can do better 'husband wise' now that he has tushed you up so to speak.The guy is/was a craddle-snatcher no doubt but i blame you and your mum(am sorry) more for allowing a MAN single-handedly see you through school like he's father christmas or something,that is so wrong cos the poor guy was clearly doing so cos he wanted to marry you and am sure you all knew that!!...now you appear stuck with no easy way out


...my dear,you owe him a whole lot and complaing about his 'possessive nature' will not cut it right now cos am sure you knew how 'bad' he was all the while he was doling out cash to you in school,yet you kept on fleecing him...a really tricky situation you have found yourself in...what a pity!

...i didnt mean to be judgmental but i can imagine how crushed and taken for a fool this guy would feel if you dump him now(whch i suppose is inevitable)...

...

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

Royal Roy:

Why not try and dissect her posts too?

When has protection of someone you love regarded as an abuse?

A man who dates a lady for 5yrs without sex and has the generosity to fund her & get her a job sure has a very soft spot for her!!

Think about it Omo_Alata, is that signs of an abuser?

theLORDreigns:
An abusive person never wants their partner to progress. Someone had earlier posted how her abusive husband didn't allow her defend her project talk-less of getting a job.
From experience, I can tell you that when I left my abusive partner, I was in my university final year at the time. My ex called my level coordinator & tried to bribe him into changing my results & giving me multiple spill-overs. His exact words to the man were "I never want her to graduate" It took d intervention of GOD for me to be where I am today. No abusive person wants their victim to succeed.

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

ileobatojo:

God bless you!! It's really quite scary.

ileobatojo:

God bless you!! It's really quite scary.

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

Omo_Alata: After the last few posts, I can see why some women in Vure position maybe too scare to talk, cos of fear of being judged and dissected.

jennykadry:
You again? your username sure suits your person on nairaland.

Shush jooo and stop being directly judgemental

Omo_Alata:

Continue with the love for me Jenny, Muah