Good talk David.  I agree with you, there is a cut off point and when a woman crosses that point, the sea of opportunities dry up very rapidly for her.

onyinye2:

@sisikill

how can we help them when they don't want to acknowledge it?? and plus to help them they gotta except the fact that they are among a new generation of women. that they can't see us as their inferior but their equal and right hand.

You know what, forget the stubborn ones jare, we have the money. . . we'll get ourselves Trophy Husbands. By the time the stubborn he-goats have trekked in their patch-patch slippers. . . they will be begging to be married.

TOH:

I'm a miser so I think at the dealership, I'll just give him a pacifier so he can shut the hell up

Aaah, you are hard, even though I see where you are coming from. I mean the moment he gets his own beemer now, he's start dengying all over the place but there are ways to curb that. . . just tell him any slight misbehavior, you will cut his allowance. Let's see him try to keep up the lifestyle of a beemer owner on $700 a month.

onyinye2:

well i grew up in a household where my father treated my mom as his equal. sometimes he made the final decision and sometimes my mom did. and it worked out great for them.

That's the part they want you to see at your age
Infact, the major decisions are not being made in front of you

A perfect marriage is one in which the HEAD of the house makes the MAJOR decisions
Although, she's allowed to give her opinions, convince and all that . . . but they know who wears the trousers

Sisikill:

You know what, forget the stubborn ones jare, we have the money. . . we'll get ourselves Trophy Husbands. By the time the stubborn he-goats have trekked in their patch-patch slippers. . . they will be begging to be married.


Aaah, you are hard, even though I see where you are coming from. I mean the moment he gets his own beemer now, he's start dengying all over the place but there are ways to curb that. . . just tell him any slight misbehavior, you will cut his allowance. Let's see him try to keep up the lifestyle of a beemer owner on $700 a month.

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! It's been a while I heard that.

Sisikill:

You know what, forget the stubborn ones jare, we have the money. . . we'll get ourselves Trophy Husbands. By the time the stubborn he-goats have trekked in their patch-patch slippers. . . they will be begging to be married.

that is a classic statement. but i dont know why it is so hard to see women as their equal??

TOH, I am not sure that she should give up on her ideals, she will find somebody but the point is this, the proportionality of the ideal becoming a true accomplishment is rapidly diminishing as her age continue to advance.

hmm. .

It must be husband season. . everyone is either crying "am too old for marriage" or "I love being single". . c'mon ladies, what's going on?

Negro_Ntns:

TOH, I am not sure that she should give up on her ideals, she will find somebody but the point is this, the proportionality of the ideal becoming a true accomplishment is rapidly diminishing as her age continue to advance.

by the time she's 35 . . . she shld just forget about ideals. She's wasted her time and has no one else to blame.

I see plenty of females here with their heads still buried in the sand.

@mesmerize

it is not Husband season. it is the season that men are desperate for wives and feel that it is not there fault they are not married but the women.

onyinye2:

@mesmerize

it is not Husband season. it is the season that men are desperate for wives and feel that it is not there fault they are not married but the women.

hmmm. .really!
Just wondering why I see bullets flying across the room

@ David,  on head in the sand,,,,

when i came in saw that i cracked up before i could talk.  thats not nice Dave, no graphics

Negro_Ntns:

@ David, on head in the sand,,,,

when i came in saw that i cracked up before i could talk. thats not nice Dave, no graphics

dude, what are you saying?

eldee:

That's the part they want you to see at your age
Infact, the major decisions are not being made in front of you

A perfect marriage is one in which the HEAD of the house makes the MAJOR decisions
Although, she's allowed to give her opinions, convince and all that . . . but they know who wears the trousers

You obviously don't know what you are talking about. Then again I don't take "only male in the family" guys seriously. They tend to spew alot of tripe. No offence.

How can any sane person be against a marriage where the couple discuss "MAJOR DECISION", Why even get married then if you're too much of an egomaniac to include the wife in the decision making process? And don't bother telling me that "she can say something but he doesnt have to listen". Some of you have severe issues with women. Get help, seriously.

davidylan:

no. But more often than not women tend to assume that if a guy is serious and is meant to be theirs he will stay at the door knocking forever even when she pretends to make a conscious effort not to be interested.
Women have to realise that times have changed, nobody has time to wait any longer.

I see what you mean but I guess that's their way of not seeming "cheap". After all isnt it the same Naija tradition that made them think readily saying "yes" to a relationship makes you seem desperate. Alot of families believe in this, mine included sef. Lol I havent/wouldnt make anyone go through the shit my dad did for my mom's hand. hahaha

Na True Love, abi?

Onyinye,

men despera-what  yall can keep the marriage, we will do a walk out and still be getting p--ssy

Negro_Ntns:

Good talk David. I agree with you, there is a cut off point and when a woman crosses that point, the sea of opportunities dry up very rapidly for her.

Look at this one. shouldnt you be married sef? Oniranu. Adie funfun ti o mo ara e lagba.

TOH:

I see what you mean but I guess that's their way of not seeming "cheap". After all isnt it the same Naija tradition that made them think readily saying "yes" to a relationship makes you seem desperate. Alot of families believe in this, mine included sef. Lol I havent/wouldnt make anyone go through the shit my dad did for my mom's hand. hahaha

Na True Love, abi?

T, times have changed. I'm not advocating women go around saying yes immediately to just about every riffraff who comes their way but at least give the guy some clue about where your heart is leaning earlier on so he knows whether to waste his time or not. in the old days men could endure being played but not now when the competition is even stiffer.

I give an example - my ex gave me the run around for 2 weeks (i no get patience i know) but at least i knew 2 months well in advance where she was leaning to so i stuck in there. today's women sef na wa.

I should be married. Iam looking for someone to marry and i will do so when I settle on the choice.  I have all the time I can wait.  I can equally choose to be single and there is no social stigma against me as a man doing as much as it is for a woman.

Negro_Ntns:

I should be married. Iam looking for someone to marry and i will do so when I settle on the choice. I have all the time I can wait. I can equally choose to be single and there is no social stigma against me as a man doing as much as it is for a woman.

Hon, this is what we're talking abt.
dnt blame your single status on the excuse of "I chose to be single".
abegi!

TOH:

You obviously don't know what you are talking about. Then again I don't take "only male in the family" guys seriously. They tend to spew alot of tripe. No offence.

How can any sane person be against a marriage where the couple discuss "MAJOR DECISION", Why even get married then if you're too much of an egomaniac to include the wife in the decision making process? And don't bother telling me that "she can say something but he doesnt have to listen". Some of you have severe issues with women. Get help, seriously.

_{Here we go again}
Did you skip the part where I mentioned 'opinions'?
Is that not being involved in decision making?
The final decision is what I was talking about, it's the result from listening to her side of it

And what's wiv you and 'only sons'?

Mesmerize:

Hon, this is what we're talking about.
dnt blame your single status on the excuse of "I chose to be single".
abegi!

Exactly. Infact he has turned me off completely with that rubbish

I wish you luck with that. Mr Negro.

You think the same way an unwed 40 yr old looks ridiculous to you isnt the same way a 65 yr old picking his first child from nursey school looks to us?

By the time the kid graduates high school Papa jnr is already dead. Disgusting.

I admit that there are women in their 30s, 40s, single, who have gone through two or more dumps with men that they believed will take them to the altar and didnt happen.  I asked this question earlier, what recourse is there for a woman who at 25 is in relationship with a man, in fact engaged to him and then he dumped her at 27?  Now this the one that need to apply lessons for her next move.  She should be saying to the next man " all you got is a year< if we are not married, Im gone"  Men need to be threatened sometimes.

Negro_Ntns:

I should be married. Iam looking for someone to marry and i will do so when I settle on the choice. I have all the time I can wait. I can equally choose to be single and there is no social stigma against me as a man doing as much as it is for a woman.

just own up to being single. dont look for any excuses. it juss makes you seem ignorant.

eldee:

_{Here we go again}
Did you skip the part where I mentioned 'opinions'?
Is that not being involved in decision making?
The final decision is what I was talking about, it's the result from listening to her side of it

And what's with you and 'only sons'?

Question is, is it to just LISTEN to her side or to actually CONSIDER IT. That's the True question

My problem with them? Hmmm

You mean other than the fact that a good majority are so bloody spoilt and such momma boys and they think every woman should act like their mom who has spoilt them to death thus alot of them tend to be very sexist, other than that absolutely nothing

lmao, what is wrong with me being single??   I am not saying a woman should not be single, hey thats her choice to pick.  I seek truth in life and i do so by aligning myself with my identified purpose.  If that purpose does not include a woman by my side so be it.  What we are saying is this, women make marriage exceptionally a high point, like without it their life has no meaning but they have no clue how to manage and chart their ways through the interaction that it demands.

Negro_Ntns:

I admit that there are women in their 30s, 40s, single, who have gone through two or more dumps with men that they believed will take them to the altar and didnt happen. I asked this question earlier, what recourse is there for a woman who at 25 is in relationship with a man, in fact engaged to him and then he dumped her at 27? Now this the one that need to apply lessons for her next move. She should be saying to the next man " all you got is a year< if we are not married, I'm gone" Men need to be threatened sometimes.

hmmm. . sometimes I wonder. Are the men dumping the women not being affected too?

Anywaz, of course men do need to be threatened, but if we do, what would the men start calling us? apart from gold diggas, bitches, miss if you dnt marry me we're through? what?!

you said it all TOH. boys are brought up spoiled while girls are giving chores and taught to be mothers in a sense. so what do you expect from a man when he matures, he wants that same treatment from his woman. because his mom is the first woman in his life. so he feels she must hit that standard of expectations.

This is the most intelligent post I have read so far on this thread.

from davidylan

If i were a female, i'd be very confident that no matter what i'd definitely find the person i am destined to be with. I like to mix optimism with a good

dose of reality - as a female i'd probably say "doesnt matter how old but what matters most is who i end up with and i'm going to take my time to make sure

waiting for him was worth it in the end".

onyinye2:

you said it all TOH. boys are brought up spoiled while girls are giving chores and taught to be mothers in a sense. so what do you expect from a man when he matures, he wants that same treatment from his woman. because his mom is the first woman in his life. so he feels she must hit that standard of expectations.

no question about that. Its pat of the rational decision a guy takes before considering you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

thanks Arnold.

You cant say to your boss at work i want to be a manager but then you act in ways unfit to be a manager.  You must be exhibit competence in your work if you expectto be promoted.  

Matrimony requires certain balance in attitude and personality, on both sides.  You cannot carry a fuc-ked up attitude with chip on your shoulders and expect a MAN (not some weak feebled minded sob, but a strong MAN who know who he is) to be submissive to you).  HELL NO!!!

arnold you are such a kiss up

davidylan:

T, times have changed. I'm not advocating women go around saying yes immediately to just about every riffraff who comes their way but at least give the guy some clue about where your heart is leaning earlier on so he knows whether to waste his time or not. in the old days men could endure being played but not now when the competition is even stiffer.

I give an example - my ex gave me the run around for 2 weeks (i no get patience i know) but at least i knew 2 months well in advance where she was leaning to so i stuck in there. today's women sef na wa.

My mom has a faint scar on the side of her face. A mark placed there by my grandmother. When she did it she added pepper there Btw on purpose. This was done when she was in SS 2.

Her offence? Talking to my dad after a party. All because this crazy Ekiti man who recently moved to Surulere decided to "stalk" her after a naming ceramony party. Seriously though he just wanted to chat her up, blah blah. one of her friends she went to the party with left her there and went him. Grandma asked for my mom's whereabouts, "oh she's talking to some dude". She went crazy when she got back and did what she did because she believed my mom cheapened herself for talking to the opposite sex. According to her, if he was serious, he would have seen my grandparents first and "proved his love"

At the end of it, she got married to this same man anyway. My dad is the one who told us the story of the mark. My mom doesnt discuss it.

Just saying you can't always blame these girls for doing these things. It's what they've been taught. You peopl,e keep screaming we're copying the Western World after all. I do see what you are saying though. Just have a heart for these girls na and quit resenting them

Mes,

of course there are bunch of men out there who were dumped because of their inabilitiy to exhibit competence.  I have seen women date men who were out of a job.  It would be different if he lostthe job after the relationship began, no she knew it when they met but to her thats an advantageous position to be because she feels she can control his will.  Both of them are wrong.  You dont date when you dont have the means and reserve to sustain the relationship, it will only weaken your voice and your manhood will be trodden on.