rubi:

y d vex naaa dont tell me u r amongst those dat want d poster to continue d relationsip wt dat two timing ewu of a man

Leave him. I'm sorry, I can't deal with baby mama drama

jek_kad:

y d vex naaa don't tell me you're amongst those that want d poster to continue d relationsip wt that two timing ewu of a man

I am not none of the names you manetioned above and try to be a lttle bit more respectful next time

@ poster

i wonder what your still waiting for. boot the idiot.

@ Poster.

The best thing is for you to suspend the wedding, give yourself sometime.

Don't rush into any wedding because of sentiments and at thesame time don't loose all what you laboured for because of a loose lady.

Just postpone the wedding , at least pregnancy does not last beyond 9 months.,, ,.2/3 months gone already

I won't say leave because that is extremely hard to do at this point. Do whatever it is that is in your heart.

Poster,
Dump the black trash.

chika98:

I won't say leave because that is extremely hard to do at this point. Do whatever it is that is in your heart.

right

rubi:

I am not none of the names you manetioned above and try to be a lttle bit more respectful next time

wat do u mean by respectful next time?did i insult u? if i may ask wat is it about u ,u want me to respect?d fact dat u r trying to give ur self credit dats not necessary or wat?

IN A NUTSHELL

Although you are going through a complete whirlwind of emotions such as anger, shock, bitterness, humiliation, grief, confusion, depression, which is common and understandable, I guess there is no point in saying you should not rush into making any hasty or life-changing decision since the wedding is slatted for next month, unless you have considered POSTPONING the wedding.

You still have about a month left to the wedding, so whatever you do, do not allow your self-esteem and confidence to be knocked by your fiance's behaviour. It is too easy to take something like this personally and think his affair was partly due to you and start thinking maybe if I had done this, or maybe if I had done that . . .

He needs to sort out what happened by himself, by telling you all the why's and whatnot's.

No remedy can take the place of honest communication, hence the reason some people resort to marriage counselling. It is important if you want to stay with him or not to find out all the why's, otherwise, it would be very hard to move on/forget his betrayal.
 
IF YOU DECIDE TO POSTPONE THE WEDDING, forget what people would think, you are the only one who is going into that union so have to deal with the headache alone. Thankfully, we live in the age now that divorce is no longer a stigma, so saying you want to move the date is not the end of the world. It is gonna cost money to change the date, etc, but let him pay.

IF YOU DECIDE TO WALK AWAY, "the talk" would help you understand that the reason he did it was not your fault, and help you cope better as a person. The worst that could happen from then onwards is the occasional thoughts of "the one that got away" and "what if" moment.

IF YOU DECIDE TO STAY, the answers you got from "the talk", would give you solace and help you get through the days when you just feel like crying, throwing things, breaking his head, and also help you to be able to deal with the feelings of pain, turmoil, confusion and resentment that would come.

IF YOU DECIDE TO STAY with your fiance, you are gonna knock the sails outta the wind of your rival, so she is either gonna slink away like the snake she is and go and nurse her wounds or go into hibernation to plan the next stage of ammunition.

IF YOU DECIDE TO STAY, on a final note, prepare yourself for any baby mama drama she might wanna come up with such as Junior is sick, Junior is . . . Don't forget that if you are both in UK/US/etc, a large chunk of your hubby's salary is gonna end up with her for child support, but if you are both in Nigeria, you get to dictate the tune, and you can tell your hubby you want to move to another state for a fresh start.

WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.

PLAY YOUR RIVAL AT HER OWN GAME AND LET HER SWEAT A BIT FOR WHAT SHE PUT YOU THROUGH. WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO, PLEASE PASS THE MESSAGE TO YOUR RIVAL THAT THE WEDDING IS GOING ON AS PLANNED EVEN IF YOU HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND NOT TO MARRY THE GUY.

Sound advice, Big_Bumper!

@ poster

Have you ever thought that that woman might be someone who thought she had met the man of life to later found out he wanted to abbandon her to marry someone else? There have been so many cases in which after years of dating and future plans, the man decides to live his partner for a fresh one.

I don't really pity you poster and Bleep your future husband. He is a bastard!

michelin89:

@ poster

Have you ever thought that that woman might be someone who thought she had met the man of life to later found out he wanted to abbandon her to marry someone else? There have been so many cases in which after years of dating and future plans, the man decides to live his partner for a fresh one.

I don't really pity you poster and Bleep your future husband. He is a bastard!

preach it my love

jek_kad:

preach it my love

Abeg o. Like she nor know say the man get another woman when they met. These ladies are culprits themselves. They bitch the other lady and make her life miserable. Can she boldly state the man didn't tell her he had someone else? I am sure she even met her and laughed immediately after knowing her ass was going to be dumped. Just because she saw that the past wasn't closed afterall she wants to come here to play the victim. Bleep her too!

michelin89:

Abeg o. Like she nor know say the man get another woman when they met. These ladies are culprits themselves. They bitch the other lady and make her life miserable. Can she boldly state the man didn't tell her he had someone else? I am sure she even met her and laughed immediately after knowing her ass was going to be dumped. Just because she saw that the past wasn't closed afterall she wants to come here to play the victim. Bleep her too!

abeg babes cool down

i used to insult them women dat take another girls man-but one thing ive come to realise in dis life is--------the fact dat a man has another girlfriend hes dated for long or for a short period of time,it does not mean he'll end up with her as a husband,nope sm pple date for years and still break up,so i dont blame d poster in dat area

jek_kad:

abeg babes cool down

i used to insult them women that take another girls man-but one thing ive come to realise in this life is--------the fact that a man has another girlfriend hes dated for long or for a short period of time,it does not mean he'll end up with her as a husband,nope sm people date for years and still break up,so i don't blame d poster in that area

Well, I don't give a damn about her either. She is no better than the man!

michelin89:

Well, I don't give a damn about her either. She is no better than the man!

it might not be d poster's fault

jek_kad:

it might not be d poster's fault

Either the man was very smart or she was too blind to see he had someone else. Jenny you are on this NL. You have read about men who don't break up with their exes until they have married their new love. And most of the times, this new woman always know about the old one and she mocks her. The fact that now the old flame is pregnant doesn't still give the new one the right to play the victim, the cheated fiancee, who was fooled by her man. Until she comes out to say, that she never knew about the other lady, well, she'll have no understanding from me!

There is more to it than meets the eyes

michelin89:

Either the man was very smart or she was too blind to see he had someone else. Jenny you are on this Nairaland. You have read about men who don't break up with their exes until they have married their new love. And most of the times, this new woman always know about the old one and she mocks her. The fact that now the old flame is pregnant doesn't still give the new one the right to play the victim, the cheated fiancee, who was fooled by her man. Until she comes out to say, that she never knew about the other lady, well, she'll have no understanding from me!

i get u michelin,but like i said d guy is d stupid one here,for proposing to one and getting one pregnant,honestly i dont blame dis girl,she might be in love wt dis guy,i know of so many guys dat engaged themselves to one girl and @ d end of d day its not d same girl they married,sometimes things change,u might think u r inlove wt dis person and by d time u meet another girl ,d feelings change and u realise dat d feelings u have for one is quite diff from the other,its not because dat person is a player or is being stupid but its just d simple fact dat ,dat person finds happiness wt d new one dan wt d old one,im against a man leavin his babe for another before,but now wt d way things r i dont blame them again

the only mistake d guy made was to go back to the other one and impregnate her wen hes about to be married dis august

jek_kad:

the only mistake d guy made was to go back to the other one and impregnate her when hes about to be married this august

What if he never left her? What if she knew but thought everything was alright since they were going to get married? Afterall she would become the wife and the other a mere mistress?

The only info she has given so far is about the other lady's pregnancy, but then, as Lexi has said, there is more to it.

michelin89:

What if he never left her? What if she knew but thought everything was alright since they were going to get married? Afterall she would become the wife and the other a mere mistress?

The only info she has given so far is about the other lady's pregnancy, but then, as Lexi has said, there is more to it.

that is it,that is y i said d guy is stupid , keeping one in d house and d other a mistress is called stupidity,even if he had ties wt d other girl ,y d hell did he not break it since hes married already,afterall theyve done their court wedding

this guy is a buffoon honestly,and watever it is ,is not d posters fault

ladyaijay:

i have spoken with him the lady has been all over him and [b]he actually told me about her sometime ago,[/b]i told him to ignore  her but i now know he didnt, she had the guts to mail me telling me what transpired between them,he didnt deny it, but he has been begging for my forgiveness, he told her to abort the child but she has refused,she said she would keep the child. i don't knw what to do we have all the plans arranged only to know about this. what will i tell our folks and the invited guest,if we quit.

Jenny have you read this?

michelin89:

Jenny have you read this?

yes ive read it,that is y i said since d guy is ready to marry her and as even gone as far as court wedding,then why d hell did he not let d other one go

i keep saying it,as long as a man is not married to a woman in the court or in d church ,he has d right to roam free wt whoever he choses to

The way peeps change their names on this site sef

whitelexi:

The way peeps change their names on this site sef

Don't you like Lexi? I think it's cute!

PS: white doesn't fit you since you are no longer a virgin!

jek_kad:

yes ive read it,that is y i said since d guy is ready to marry her and as even gone as far as court wedding,then why d hell did he not let d other one go

i keep saying it,as long as a man is not married to a woman in the court or in d church ,he has d right to roam free wt whoever he choses to

When emotions are involved, we have keep to our words. You don't need a piece of paper to show your humanity. For goodness sake if you know u want to keep roaming around, declare yourself as single. Don't address any lady as your girlfriend because when you have other ten, then she isn't one. It's not a matter of being free because you aren't married but having enough common sense to know you can't toy with people's heart and later wish to have a happy married life. I can understand if the guy had told it right from time he was a player but for him to come around as a caring and loving boyfriend and future husband and later stab her at the back with some other lady is unforgivable!

And since she knew there was someone else but deliberately ignored it doesn't still justify her and make her worth of my understanding.

Hate on the man and pity the lady but from my own point of view they are on the same boat.

whitelexi:

The way peeps change their names on this site sef

michelin89:

Don't you like Lexi? I think it's cute!

PS: white doesn't fit you since you are no longer a virgin! 

When emotions are involved, we have keep to our words. You don't need a piece of paper to show your humanity. For goodness sake if you know u want to keep roaming around, declare yourself as single. Don't address any lady as your girlfriend because when you have other ten, then she isn't one. It's not a matter of being fre[b]e because you aren't married but having enough common sense to know you can't toy with people's heart and later wish to have a happy married life[/b]. I can understand if the guy had told it right from time he was a player but for him to come around as a caring and loving boyfriend and future husband and later stab her at the back with some other lady is unforgivable!

And since she knew there was someone else but deliberately ignored it doesn't still justify her and make her worth of my understanding.

Hate on the man and pity the lady but from my own point of view they are on the same boat.

michelin ,d fact that some men cheat or go about wt other women does not mean that they enjoy doing it,neither does it mean that they r players+

no they r not,but one thing u should know is that these men are been pushed so hard to d wall by their lovers and that is y they seek peace elsewhere,and if they find a woman that gives them peace outside they go for her and to the other girl  shes busy telling people that her lover is a cheat and a player,when d simple truth is that she pushed him outside

i will say it again and again and agian,that no woman has a hold over any man ,if she not married to him

but if that man is married and still goes outside that is where i  come in,y not remain single and enjoy as long as u want to ,instead of putting some woman in d house and then going out for another

And the Golden Glode for best story teller is LADYAIJAY

**** Cheers & Applause ****

I completely agree with all that you said "BusyBody" esp the whole thing about her telling this person tht the wedding is still one ven if she decided not to

I

F YOU DECIDE TO STAY, on a final note, prepare yourself for any baby mama drama she might want to come up with such as Junior is sick, Junior is . . . Don't forget that if you are both in UK/US/etc, a large chunk of your hubby's salary is going to end up with her for child support, but if you are both in Nigeria, you get to dictate the tune, and you can tell your hubby you want to move to another state for a fresh start.

See this is the worse thing about situations like that. Ugh. I cant and wont deal. Ugh

The woman has his first kid THEREFORE he has to cater to eveyrthing and even if they are in Nigerian n ko? You think he can just run away and avoid catering to his kid just like that? The girl's family n ko? There's no way to esca[peand even if you find a loophole, you shopuldnt want to make your dude try to escape such a responsibility cos it makes you both horrible people, after all it's not the kids fault that he has such hopeless parents so the point is can you or can you not deal with such a situation.

Your man is cheating at the time he should treating you like a "tear rubber"! And he is doing it without protection!

There is no good way to deliver bad news, this guy can kill you!