Coogar you are free to insult me. I don't expect more or less from you. For the record I work for myself so no I am not like you that is delusional enough to think that your single 9-5 will keep you ahead of the game. Yes you are selfish and extremely self centered. People with your ideology are the ones that drain the system. When things get slow for the single bread winner and the family is in a financial crises you run to the welfare line with wife and 5 kids in tow. Not that there is anything wrong for people who really need it but it is so annoying when you see people who went out of their way to not plan for the future. Plan their lives around this one source of income. You are right about everyone not sharing the same views on anything. The issue I have with the crap you are spouting is the career women do not stay married nonsense. It just shows that you most likely have not been around successful women in career. You likely have always been around kept women and that is what you are comfortable with. In this day and age if you are not making seven figures I would suggest you go get a woman from some small obscure village that is physically incapable of working outside of the home and is unable to also make any decisions about her life. Lock her in the house so she does not get a whiff of what women just like her can accomplish outside of their husbands wishes. Maybe then you stand a change of a village girl with no career divorcing you when she realizes that you are crippling her.

bukatyne:
@bolded,
1. How long should the wife stay at home considering the fact that 0 - 5yrs is crucial and they might not have 1 kid and the wife has to stay at home till the last kid is 5?

there's no definite time-frame. the family should work out the shortest time possible to get rearing of the kids done. if the hubby can do it alone for a longer time while the wife takes up business that allows more flexibility then a loud amen to that.

2. If the society is what it is because Ekatte's raise the kids, who raised the parents who now use Ekattes to raise their kids? Do you mean that the youth and kids now are worse than the adults (who were 'Mama' raised?)

there you go again linking economic bonds with social bonds. there's good upbringing & there's poverty. people can be poor or rich & have good upbringing. people can be poor or rich & have bad upbringing.

ekaettes are kids too. many of them are prepubescent & yet nigerian parents gladly leave their precious kids in their hands while they enter the rat race to materialistic bonds. do they know what ekaette gets up to while they are in the office doing N50,000 jobs?

Will appreciate answers to my questions without long story. Thanks in advance

you don't get it...i hope you get it one day!

soul_glo: Coogar you are free to insult me. I don't expect more or less from you. For the record I work for myself so no I am not like you that is delusional enough to think that your single 9-5 will keep you ahead of the game. Yes you are selfish and extremely self centered. People with your ideology are the ones that drain the system. When things get slow for the single bread winner and the family is in a financial crises you run to the welfare line with wife and 5 kids in tow. Not that there is anything wrong for people who really need it but it is so annoying when you see people who went out of their way to not plan for the future. Plan their lives around this one source of income. You are right about everyone not sharing the same views on anything. The issue I have with the crap you are spouting is the career women do not stay married nonsense. It just shows that you most likely have not been around successful women in career. You likely have always been around kept women and that is what you are comfortable with. In this day and age if you are not making seven figures I would suggest you go get a woman from some small obscure village that is physically incapable of working outside of the home and is unable to also make any decisions about her life. Lock her in the house so she does not get a whiff of what women just like her can accomplish outside of their husbands wishes. Maybe then you stand a change of a village girl with no career divorcing you when she realizes that you are crippling her.

buhahahaha -
i was expecting you to go on this long diatribe bereft of any common sense just because you want to be liberated. shame on you - you are the type that would get out of the house & drop your parents with your neighbour(mama bomboy) for the paper-chase.

the question here is - is the take home value worth abandoning your kids for? that's after deducting transport fare, tiredness & fatigue, lunch, anxiety of having to call home every hour to check if the baby is doing fine, etc? you don't have enough wisdom to grasp the underlying issues of this matter so get out of the way & lemme face people that matter.

coogar:

there's no definite time-frame. the family should work out the shortest time possible to get rearing of the kids done. if the hubby can do it alone for a longer time while the wife takes up business that allows more flexibility then a loud amen to that.



there you go again linking economic bonds with social bonds. there's good upbringing & there's poverty. people can be poor of rich & have good upbringing. people can be poor or rich & have bad upbringing.

ekaettes are kids too. many of them are prepubescent & yet nigerian parents gladly leave their precious kids in their hands while they enter the rat race to materialistic bonds. do they know what ekaette gets up to while they are in the office doing N50,000 jobs?



you don't get it...i hope you get it one day!

You did not understand question 2, let me rephrase...

According to you, our society has degenerated because house helps now raise our kids...

And my questions:

If parents now have failed because they raise kids with helps, who raised the failed parents?
Do you think the youth and kids of today (raised by helps) are worse off than the adults (raised by mama)?

coogar:

buhahahaha -
i was expecting you to go on this long diatribe bereft of any common sense[b] just because you want to be liberated[/b]. shame on you - you are the type that would get out of the house & drop your parents with your neighbour(mama bomboy) for the paper-chase.

the question here is - is the take home value worth abandoning your kids for? that's after deducting transport fare, tiredness & fatigue, lunch, anxiety of having to call home every hour to check if the baby is doing fine, etc? you don't have enough wisdom to grasp the underlying issues of this matter so get out of the way & lemme face people that matter.

At lease you admit that you prefer to keep women enslaved LOL. You are officially pathetic.

bukatyne:
You did not understand question 2, let me rephrase... According to you, our society has degenerated because house helps now raise our kids...

i stand by that - our society is rotten because most kids are not properly trained. this is why government is now getting involved.

And my questions:

If parents now have failed because they raise kids with helps, who raised the failed parents?

the parents didn't fail out of not being raised well. they failed because they suddenly became ignorant & bought into the conspiracy the feminists cooked up. by & large, many of these parents are honest, hardworking & want the best for their kids but they are also ignorant.

Do you think the youth and kids of today (raised by helps) are worse off than the adults (raised by mama)?

the youths & today's kids are worse off.
a big safety net is draped around them & children now have more rights than even adults. kids can beat up teachers now & the teachers aren't allowed to even touch them.

soul_glo:
At lease you admit that you prefer to keep women enslaved LOL. You are officially pathetic.

you are the slave here...a capitalist slave.
you are working longer hours, commuting to work & back has gotten longer & yet you hardly get by because the system is letting you work more than you are paid - all at the expense of your innocent child who didn't ask you to bring her into the world for ekaette or okon to monitor.

you are in a hopeless delusion that a wife that sits at home to take good care of her child is a slave while you are the liberated one for working 9-5, looking older than your husband as a result & failing to bond with your child. crack on with your bad self.

coogar:

you belittle yourself when you talk this way. I didn't give you much before though but then this has plunged you deeper in the sewers - keep at it!

Lol, what? How is it belittling for me if you're speaking through your azz? Lol stop.

assumptions could get you killed - stop assuming every man you come across share the same ideology as your bubblegum bedmates

I am guessing you are partially blind. Did you not see where i wrote I roll by myself? So why would I have bedmates? And what ideology is that?

i am quoting what a hardline feminist said about men & you are saying it's nonsense. at least, verify the quote instead of making yourself look like a clueless dingbat!

Seriously stop talk rubbish. In which book did you read that feminism is about a woman not needing a man in their lives? I want the name of the author and the book and chapter you got that quote from. See, start reading because you know what you just wrote is full of nonsense.

he would tell his wife to stop working & stayathome to nurture the kids. marriage is partnership(division of labour) so as to achieve the highest productive output humanly possible. that's how nature designed it to be. however, on the off chance that the wife earns a considerably higher income than the hubby then the husband should stay at home.

It annoys me when you are arguing with someone and they change their tune. I thought you said a father cannot stay at home and this isn't about money. If it isn't why should a man stay at home? See, how your argument became mine. Annoying! Stop it! Your argument was no to career woman, women should be at home and men working. Men cannot naturally care or nurture children. Stick to that.

If a woman decides to be a housewife she should have income coming in. Whether it is business or marketing. Designing websites. Yoh must have money going in your own account. You hear?

the key is having one parent stay at home...

Stick to your argumemt joor. So, now it is ok to be a career woman as long as you make more than the husband so he can stay home and phuck up the children since men cannot naturally care, nurture and feed children or teach them how to fend for themselves. Oh, gee, thanks coogar.

stop plumbing the depths of idiocy.
i am neither for/against career women. i said a woman that intends to chase her career aggressively should not bother having kids.

If someone is neither for or against, they usually say nothing. They just sit on the fence, watching. You were clearly against. Maybe now those for the working woman have convinced. You seem to be now in agreement but because you don't want to back down easily, you're arguing but unfortunately changing your initial stance. You were clearly against because you advised men to stay away from them. Chase her career aggressively? Wdh does that even mean? You either have a career or you don't. Or you mean those who don't have a career but chasing after it aggressively to get one?

you must be related to blind bartimeaus...
show me where i mentioned anything remotely close to sense of selfworth? so a woman who chooses to sacrifice her career for few years to nurture her kids has no self-worth?

A blind calling someone blind. And where did I mention, you mentioned self worth? Ohh, so now a woman can have a career but can nurture the children for a few years and go back, yes? Well, duuuuh! this is something majority of working mums do. That is why the government even gives maternity leave! You have changed your stance completely and it is annoying

a million apologies - i have clearly overestimated your intelligence.

No, coogar, I overestimated your intelligence this thread has shown me that you are not what I thought. You are just another clueless man beating his chest, huffing and puffing to make a clueless point. You cannot even stick to your argument.

another idiotic assertion.
we should all stop getting on a plane then since airplanes have taken considerable number of human lives all over the planet. what has an idiotic nigerian governor gotta do with this?

What a stup!d comparison. Your comparisom doesn't even make sense to what I wrote. Tell how do they relate. Trying to make another clueless point which makes no sense. You should have used a car if you were going to make a senseless comparison. Atleast, we have more deaths in cars than planes. We get on a plane because we want to get somewhere. We go to school because we want to get somewhere. We get our degrees not to decorate our living room but because we want careers that will bring us money. Now, there is no point in being on a plane of you don't want to go anywhere and there is no point being in school if you just want to be a housewife.

are you saying this governor couldn't have kicked the wife out even if she's working?
do women still not get the house & 50% of their husband's assets in a divorce? so what has the employment status of a woman gotta do with her being kicked in or kicked out?

Try to comprehend what people say, please. If she had something she won't be standing there like an ediot probably begging. She would have quickly driven to her own place to go over what happened. Lol, a working woman knows she cannot get kicked out. She knows her investments in that property.
And oh yes, you think it is that easy to just get 50% of your husband's wealth. Stop! Even if, women should be happy about that? Oh yes, i can be a housewife because I know when we divorce half of all this will be mine?

once again, you have shown this topic is intellectually out of your league.

clap for yourself for showing up show clueless you are in cognitive reasoning. so the temporary 4-5 years a woman takes out to nurture her kids is a good enough reason for her to shun formal education wholeheartedly?

you have the brain power of a pubic louse...

Oh please, don't flatter yourself. We know you have nothing tangible to say but please continue typing nonsense because you are a 'career' man.


I hardly have these long azz debates because I am hardly ever interested in them but when I do I want someone with good arguments that would even make me think twice, not someone who cannot stick to the initial argument.
Atleast a pubic lice has more sense than you. Your whole argument is stup!d. You cannot be a career woman, wait, Ohh, you can be a career woman, yes, as long as you take 4-5 years to bring up a child. Yes, that is all i can give you. If you want to be accepted by us you must take 4-5years, we permit you because we are Man. See, we are very lenient. If you cannot take 4-5 years out then we will shun you and you will have to turn to a lesbian because we don't want you. I know we initially said no to you but your argument was very convincing so we will give you a chance to marry too.

How stup!d is this? I am done with this. If anyone wants to argue with coogar, go ahead. He is still high on dog shyt and doesn't know whether he is arguing front or back. As you can see, he is now ok with a career woman. He is now giving them a chance. 4-5 years or no husband. With all my 8 children that is going to be 25-40years. Loool. Those of us wanting big families we'll be going back to our careers when we are in our 50s- 70s..

coogar:

i stand by that - our society is rotten because most kids are not properly trained. this is why government is now getting involved.



the parents didn't fail out of not being raised well. they failed because they suddenly became ignorant & bought into the conspiracy the feminists cooked up. by & large, many of these parents are honest, hardworking & want the best for their kids but they are also ignorant.



the youths & today's kids are worse off.
a big safety net is draped around them & children now have more rights than even adults. kids can beat up teachers now & the teachers aren't allowed to even touch them.

I guess we are talking of two different societies...

I am talking of the Nigerian society

Lol, isn't it funny that it is the children of two working parents who normally make it to ivy league school. No housewives things.

Soul-glo,
Off topic,
How can I make my posts invisible? The last time I checked, I couldn't access your posts, until tpiaaa mentioned it, Its now accessible. Are you Seun's wife. How did you do it.

U guys are still debating...keep it coming, what ever you choose, pls know that you live once. You don wanna be sad and miserable in this life.

kandiikane:
Lol, what? How is it belittling for me if you're speaking through your azz? Lol stop.

this is the junction i would have to say you have a glowing splinter in your sphincter.

I am guessing you are partially blind. Did you not see where i wrote I roll by myself? So why would I have bedmates? And what ideology is that?

see this mumu - you roll by yourself means what? how does that english even make sense to you? i roll by myself?

Seriously stop talk rubbish. In which book did you read that feminism is about a woman not needing a man in their lives? I want the name of the author and the book and chapter you got that quote from. See, start reading because you know what you just wrote is full of nonsense.

you are a semi-illiterate.....
this is where the boys get separated from men. you just jumped into an argument like a blind bat when it's clear you have little or no intelligence about the discourse.

these are the pioneers of modern feminism & these are the things they have to say about human relationships.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle - Gloria Steinem

Sëxual struggle is a fight for power – Kate Millett

Seduction, consensual sex, lovemaking are all forms of institutionalised female coercion, they are in fact rapë in disguise! – Susan Brownmiller

Heterosëxual intercourse is about power and dominance, colonialisation of the female body, all heterosëxual intercourse is rapë!!! – Andrea Dworkin

Penetrative sëx is rapë and men are rapïsts – pure and simple! – Phyllis Chesler.

these are the feminists that matter not the village mgbeke feminism you think you might be. google those names & learn about their contribution to the cause as opposed to your insignificant contribution of yours.

It annoys me when you are arguing with someone and they change their tune. I thought you said a father cannot stay at home and this isn't about money. If it isn't why should a man stay at home? See, how your argument became mine. Annoying! Stop it! Your argument was no to career woman, women should be at home and men working. Men cannot naturally care or nurture children. Stick to that.

you are a disgrace to formal education.
why are you muddying up the waters? you are combining 2 different phases of postbirth & using it to drive your arguments.

would a father stayathome 2 months after the birth of a baby? this is the phase i was talking about when i said a man cannot breastfeed & you deludedly said there are asda artificial pumps for men.

the other phase is when the child is a boy grown & has to stay in school. this is when either of the two(depending on who earns considerably more) can do the job of stayingathome. i am sure you still don't get it because the capacity of your memory chip is a single digit.

If a woman decides to be a housewife she should have income coming in. Whether it is business or marketing. Designing websites. Yoh must have money going in your own account. You hear?

another evidence that you didn't page one before diving into the discussion like a buffalo on heat. i made more than 50 comments about stayathome mums working via the internet, you pleb!

Stick to your argumemt joor. So, now it is ok to be a career woman as long as you make more than the husband so he can stay home and phuck up the children since men cannot naturally care, nurture and feed children or teach them how to fend for themselves. Oh, gee, thanks coogar.

if she makes more considerably higher than the husband(my general opinion). i then said personally, it would still be awkward for me(coogar) to do the nurturing is an exclusive preserve & the natural disposition of a woman. i then told you i make more than my partner so it's never going to happen.

it's english i am typing, not greek.

If someone is neither for or against, they usually say nothing. They just sit on the fence, watching. You were clearly against. Maybe now those for the working woman have convinced. You seem to be now in agreement but because you don't want to back down easily, you're arguing but unfortunately changing yout initial stance. You were clearly against necause you advised men to stay away from them. Chase her career aggressively? Wdh does that even me? You either have a career or you don't. Or you mean those who don't have a career but chasing after it aggressively to get one?

your comprehensive skills need aid from the UN. what are you talking about? are you half illiterate? i said if what social observers are saying is correct then the career women should be avoided. go back to the first page, you mollusc.

now i have to explain career-chase to this naïveté. there's a career ladder, right? a woman aspiring to become the CEO of a MNC must overcome some hoops & steps to get there. if she suddenly becomes pregnant, that might scupper her chances of realising her dreams cos she would lose some time while babysitting.

A blind calling someone blind. And where did I mention, you mentioned self worth? Ohh, so now a woman can have a career but can nurture the children for a few years and go back, yes? Well, duuuuh! this is something majority of working mums do. That is why the government even gives maternity leave! You have changed your stance completely and it is annoying

and this maternity leave is paid up to 3-4 years i suggested a woman should stay at home for to nurture her kids. next time, please read all my missives before jumping into an argument.

i know women like you are naturally lazy readers but always endeavour to read & learn about the dynamic of a debate before going into it. you have clearly embarrassed yourself tonight repeating all that has been said since page one.

No, coogar, I overestimated your intelligence but this thread has show me otherwise. You are just anothe4 clueless man beating his chest, huffing and puffing to make a clueless point. You cannot even stick to your argument.

your lack of understanding is the reason why you are spewing this kinda rubbish. remove yourself, go & read the thread all over before coming here to address me. you are a lazy reader.

What a stup!d comparison. Your comparisom doesn't even make sense to what I wrote. Tell how do they relate. Trying to make another clueless point which makes no sense. You should have used a car if you were going to make a senseless comparison. Atleast, we have more deaths in cars than planes. We get on a plane because we want to get somewhere. We go to school because we want to fet somewhere. We get our degrees not to decorate our living room but because we want careers that will bring us money. Now, there is no point in being on a plane of you don't want to go anywhere and there is mo point being on school if you just want to be a housewife.

this is what i would expect from a human with a single digit IQ. how does staying at home for 4-5 years equate to wanting to be a full-time housewife? do you suffer from cerebral palsy?

so if you know anyone that aspires to be a full housewife now, you would advise her not to take formal education? so let's assume she takes your advice & when it was time raise a family, she had fertility issues then what? go back to primary school at age 25?

kandiikane - you are an idiöt!!!

Try to comprehend what people say, please. If she had something she won't be standing there like an ediot probably begging. She would have quickly driven to her own place to go over what happened. Lol, a working woman knows she cannot get kicked out. She knows her investments in that property.

so it didn't occur to you she's probably begging for the love she has for her hubby, for the future of her children, for the fact that her children would grow without a father figure? your level of reasoning is not only obtuse, it's sub-human.

kandiikane is saying as long as a woman has her own money, she cannot be heartbroken. if i earned one iraqi dinar for each time you have spewed nonsense tonight, i would be a multi-billionaire in british pounds.

And oh yes, you think it is that easy to just get 50% of your husband's wealth. Stop! Even if, women should be happy about that? Oh yes, i can be a housewife because I know when we divorce half of all this will be mine?

why shouldn't they? the feminists & the government worked that out perfectly. divorced women get to keep the house & the dog unless she's a drug addict. years of female oppression had to be compensated for by any means.

power to the women!!!!

Oh please, don't flatter yourself. We know you have nothing tangible to say but please continue typing nonsense because you are a 'career' man.

a market woman would also think differential calculus is nonsense. she would not blame herself for not knowing - she would blame the theory.

I hardly have these long azz debates because I am hardly ever interested in them but when I do I want someone with good arguments that would even make me think twice, not someone who cannot stick to the initial argument.

with your below average intelligence quotient, who would really want to debate with you. you are also a lazy reader & the proponent of as long as a woman is in employment, she need not cry for a broken relationship.

Atleast a pubic lice has more sense than you. Your whole argument is stup!d. You cannot be a xareer woman, wait, Ohh, you can be a career woman, yes, as long as you take 4-5 years to bring up a child. Yes, that is all i can give you. If you want to be accepted by us you must take 4-5years, we permit you because we are Man. See, we are very lenient. If you cannot take 4-5 years out then we will shun you and you will have to turn to a lesbian because we don't want you. I know we initially said no to you but your argument was very convincing so we will give you a chance to marry too.

a pile of steamy shyte!
when you have recovered from your drug use, come back & explain this bunkum.

How stup!d is this? I am done with this. If anyone wants to argue with coogar, go ahead. He is still high on dog shyt and doesn't know whether he is arguing front or back. As you can see, he is now ok with a career woman.

go & read the topic from page 1 & stop embarrassing yourself. we have thrashed this bit aeons ago. you are behind the curve or perhaps your brain is working on a time-delay of T-5 days. perhaps, what i am typing now would only be understood by you in 5 days time.

He is now giving them a chance. 4-5 years or no husband. With all my 8 children that is going to be 25-40years. Loool. Those of us wanting big families we'll be going back to our careers when we are in our 50s- 70s..

another example of a woman who still think children are born to be pawned @ cashconverters. i only pity the man that would shack up with you & 8 kids.

anuofia!!!!

Chillisauce: Soul-glo,
Off topic,
How can I make my posts invisible? The last time I checked, I couldn't access your posts, until tpiaaa mentioned it, Its now accessible. Are you Seun's wife. How did you do it.

U guys are still debating...keep it coming, what ever you choose, pls know that you live once. You don wanna be sad and miserable in this life.

LOL. Chillisauce you are something else. I remember Tpia mentioning it though I never looked into it.

kandiikane: Lol, isn't it funny that it is the children of two working parents who normally make it to ivy league school. No housewives things.

there are grants, financial aid & scholarships for students who want to go to ivy league schools. the emphasis is more on the i brilliance of the children than the pockets of their parents.

for instance, 60% of the kids in havard are on financial aid. contrary to the nonsense you typed up there, majority of the students @ havard cannot afford paying their fees from the pockets of their 2 working parents.

kandiikane - another myth busted!!!

soul_glo:

LOL. Chillisauce you are something else. I remember Tpia mentioning it though I never looked into it.

So are you seuns wife.
How was it rectified? How did you do it.pls deactivate mine abeg

Plan for your kids to depend on the generosity of financial aid. What a plan. As if we know what financial aid would be available for a new born baby of today when she gets to University age. Wait for financial aid and food stamps when you could have been working and sacrificing like every other hardworking member of society. For the record a high percentage of Harvadites get financial aid but do not even begin to assume that it covers everything. Not even close. You still will need loans and some out of pocket money or maybe scholarships to complete your tuition. Anyway such is life. We have the producers and we have the consumers.

Chillisauce:

So are you seuns wife.
How was it rectified? How did you do it.pls deactivate mine abeg

The only Seun I know is a girl. I do not know Seun. LOL. Gosh Chillisauce. I honestly did nothing. I did not know when it was done or when it was rectified. Why not email a moderator

Roftl! Coogar being pwned as usual!

By the way, have you pounded yam for Lizzy today?

ileobatojo: Roftl! Coogar being pwned as usual!

By the way, have you pounded yam for Lizzy today?

who is lizzy?
ileoba, you better enter the kitchen now before i bring out my koboko. chaircover called earlier & she said she's coming to eat some ogbonna soup with a steamy black amala. so do quick & don't fall my hand.

Coogar, judging from your information about her mother, it is like I suspected then.

My research is not scientific by any means but certain things link and I know enough Naija women that I can see commonalities. I could detail the background of each stay home Naija woman I know but this is going to be a long post so won't waste your time.

I find that Naija gals whose mothers are/were career focused and/or independently comfortable financially/wealthy are more likely to embrace the stay home idea. Chances are women like that come from relatively comfortable (maybe wealthy, maybe not) backgrounds where money is/was not a major issue, were raised by strong women, know what they want in a spouse (will usually marry for love and not desperation) have a value system that may not necessarily be popular, are very prudent with money and usually marry someone that complements them. The idea of not having an income does not scare them but they will not choose to stay home if it is not economically viable.

The offspring of strong women usually grow up with an inbred confidence and self-assurance that enables them define themselves on their own terms and not just labels. I think this is why staying home is so easy to embrace for such gals, IF it is an affordable choice.

In the early/mid 2000s, Nigeria saw the emergence of a new middle class and a lot of job creation that enabled women to become "career women." All fine and good except that many of them forget that some of their peers today, who are in their 20s, 30s and even 40s; were already raised by career women who gained a foothold back in the 60s, 70s and 80s when a lot of Naija women had an almost master-slave relationship with their husbands. For women who had career mothers, the idea of career women was long established in their world so today, they are less likely to be overwhelmed/driven by the label of career women. They are just "women" no labels, nothing to prove/disprove.

Like it or not, good or bad, we are products of our backgrounds, experiences and value system and Naijas in general are not very understanding or receptive to ideas that are alien to their own reality. "If I have to support my extended family, if my husband's income alone is not sufficient for my household, if my husband is a wakabout/abusive and I cannot trust him how dare you say you can be a stay home mom and be happy?"

The first questions about staying home are affordability, trust and also, the kind of person you are married to. If you already missed it with your choice of spouse, if your income supports your extended family, if you have expensive tastes that cannot be met on one income, if your career is your identity, etc; then you already know it is not an option.

For most people, it is not an affordable choice and there is no shame in that. For those who can afford it and who have made the choice because they find it meaningful, kudos to you! If it was affordable after our first child, we would have opted for it instead of waiting till later. Affordability is a matter of simple arithmetic.

If you are a woman out there that is considering staying home but fearful your spouse may die, please get life insurance, they are available in Naija too. The younger and healthier you are, the cheaper the premiums. This is assuming mutual trust exists so that the man does not think you have plans for his life. Frankly, you should both have life insurance policies, it is called planning. Make sure you use an established, proven, reputable insurance company.

If you are at all able, please target big, established companies for employment. Not sure how it works in Naija these days but in Oyinbo land, most large organizations have policies to help you balance work/family.

Last but not least, it has to be a joint decision between husband and wife

I have a lot of respect for career women, after all it is a valid choice, my second BFF is 100% career with the recognition and laurels to prove it too. I mingle with a lot of them everyday. Some stayed home until their kids were grown, some did not, some have taken a year or two off work to travel the world with their families and bond more, some choose to only work part time, etc etc. A lot of them exist in my world, just like stay home moms.

Apologies for another long post by talkative Mmotimo I don't come here much so please indulge me. Thanks for reading.

P.S. I know some of your more outlandish statements here are to wind people up. Like Ileoba, you are too intelligent to hold extremist views.

MMotimo: Like Ileoba, you are too intelligent to hold extremist views.

Hello Mmotimo. If my comprehension does not fail me, you are saying I hold extremist views. Are you referring to the subject of discussion in this thread? Would you please clarify with examples? Thanks.

PS: I'm not trying to argue but I must say I'm really confused. I would like a chance to prove that statement wrong.

ileobatojo:

Hello Mmotimo. If my comprehension does not fail me, you are saying I hold extremist views. Are you referring to the subject of discussion in this thread? Would you please clarify with examples? Thanks.

PS: I'm not trying to argue but I must say I'm really confused. I would like a chance to prove that statement wrong.

Your comprehension has definitely failed you

I said both of you are too intelligent to hold extremist views. Frankly, I'm hoping you are the naija gal coogar is marrying, perfect match of intelligentsia

A couple of months ago, I read your post on this topic and I recall it was balanced

MMotimo:

Your comprehension has definitely failed you

I said both of you are too intelligent to hold extremist views. Frankly, I'm hoping you are the naija gal coogar is marrying, perfect match of intelligentsia

Ha!

Coogar is no extremist. He's just a kitten pretending to be a ferocious tiger. Ask Lizzy

MMotimo:

A couple of months ago, I read your post on this topic and I recall it was balanced

Thank you. I believe every family should do what works for them as long as there is no coercion and as long as it makes sense for their overall situation.

MMotimo:

Your comprehension has definitely failed you

I said both of you are too intelligent to hold extremist views. Frankly, I'm hoping you are the naija gal coogar is marrying, perfect match of intelligentsia

A couple of months ago, I read your post on this topic and I recall it was balanced

Nice post u got up there mMotimo...this your name sef.

As per coogar and Ileo...their offspring will be fire, I tell you. They will start debate in the morning, end with it at evening. Kids will not be left out o. Even their a yr old baby will not be left out

nice post motimo...

Mmotimo, How are you ma (I know you and CC hate that ).Very insightful post and that your 'research' is kinda spot on.This is also based on women I know so not speaking in general.

MMotimo kicking knowledge as usual. that write-up was a good read & very insightful. ileoba is no extremist, she just feigns to be a wild cat - she's actually a puppy.

Chillisauce:
Nice post u got up there mMotimo...this your name sef.

As per coogar and Ileo...their offspring will be fire, I tell you. They will start debate in the morning, end with it at evening. Kids will not be left out o. Even their a yr old baby will not be left out

[img]http://2.bp..com/-p9whylrqliM/Ud3R74x6NnI/AAAAAAAAN0A/nhChnQ6LnCw/s1600/adam-levine.gif[/img]

Thank you, pickabeau

@ damiso

America's sweetheart, how's it going? Hope your family and Mama Dami are all well.

Chillisauce:

Nice post u got up there mMotimo...this your name sef.

As per coogar and Ileo...their offspring will be fire, I tell you. They will start debate in the morning, end with it at evening. Kids will not be left out o. Even their a yr old baby will not be left out

I can bet money that coogar's woman is just as feisty as ileoba. Men like this cannot live happily with a doormat. I have no doubt that she is very intelligent and debates are a part of their relationship.

Ileoba,

I see you o, happy thanksgiving

MMotimo: Thank you, pickabeau

@ damiso

America's sweetheart, how's it going? Hope your family and Mama Dami are all well.



I can bet money that coogar's woman is just as feisty as ileoba. Men like this cannot live happily with a doormat. I have no doubt that she is very intelligent and debates are a part of their relationship.

They are well ma .We thank God. Happy Thanksgiving . Don't overspend on Black Friday o.Cos that's what people do here on Boxing Day Sales

damiso:
They are well ma .We thank God. Happy Thanksgiving . Don't overspend on Black Friday o.Cos that's what people do here on Boxing Day Sales

haaaa, damiso didn't get the memo.
there's black friday in the UK tomorrow - big shops have stolen the idea & prices are to be slashed up to 70% discount.

i am taking tomorrow off sef so i can shop till i drop. christmas came too soon. asda, john lewis & amazon have caught the bug. miss it, miss out.

MMotimo: Ileoba,

I see you o, happy thanksgiving

Thanks Mmotimo and happy thanksgiving to you!