bukatyne: Well, whatever rocks our boat.

coogar:

this illustration is flawed.
the kids stayed with their mother. everyone goes to the farm. the mothers put their babies on their backs & toiled in the farm with them. that period of life was when children spent time with their parents the most & we could tell from the way these kids became upstanding citizens in their neighbourhood.

crime rate was low - parents disciplined their wards when they stepped out of line & the whole village acted as parents for any wayward child. there was no formal education then as well so the market/farm/river represented the formal education in those years.

stillwater:

But times have changed and everyone (husband and wife) must be flexible and be hands on, because we are no more in a communal society. This change should not be relegated to only the women. It would have been easier to do that in those days, because people were literally their own bosses (as in have their own farms, you can take your child to the farm, to the market) and it was a communal society with families living together, so kids have people looking out for them. This african proverb even puts it to light - It takes a village to raise a child.
This is not practical today because you are likely to work for someone else, you can't take your kid to work and you don't even live with your extended families.
But men would rather maintain the status quo (so far it worked for our ancestors, right, why can't it work for us- according to them) and it comes across as if women are rebelling against their nurturing disposition by preaching partnership between husband and wife. Times have changed and some traditions like this need to be tweaked. Both man and woman must be on deck in raising the child. Not only women need to bend her back. YPP made a very important contribution, cos African men have been lying over the years their foremothers didn't work and were sit at home parents.

stillwater:
But times have changed and everyone (husband and wife) must be flexible and be hands on, because we are no more in a communal society. This change should not be relegated to only the women. It would have been easier to do that in those days, because people were literally their own bosses (as in have their own farms, you can take your child to the farm, to the market) and it was a communal society with families living together, so kids have people looking out for them. This african proverb even puts it to light - It takes a village to raise a child.
This is not practical today because you are likely to work for someone else, you can't take your kid to work and you don't even live with your extended families.

But men would rather maintain the status quo (so far it worked for our ancestors, right, why can't it work for us- according to them) and it comes across as if women are rebelling against their nurturing disposition by preaching partnership between husband and wife. Times have changed and some traditions like this need to be tweaked. Both man and woman must be on deck in raising the child. Not only women need to bend her back. YPP made a very important contribution, cos African men have been lying over the years their foremothers didn't work and were sit at home parents.

bukatyne:


LOL! once again that most market women have more flexible hours than working women!

coogar: lazy-arsë men like dayokanu.....
what do you expect? they have become domesticated & effeminate thinking that's the new cool. they want to see the women work themselves to death & the women themselves think it's freedom to leave the house & work and yet they still struggle to make ends meet & children suffer abuse & neglect on top of it.

dayokanu:
apparently all your points are so far away from reality.

You live in a world where newly married who are still coming up in their careers with loads of debt to pay have millions saved up somewhere to afford a sit at home lifestyle for 6yrs.

I told you to put it in figures and see how it makes sense for a family to live on one single income for 6yrs, But like you claim in your world we have companies that would pay maternity salary for the period the mother is away 6-7yrs

Your argument is far from reality in any society

BEE!:

I see couples that have been married for 10 years and over and they have no kids yet, because they can't afford it (even though they seem comfortable). But the Nigerian (not only Nigerians) mentality is to start popping out kids as soon as you get married to prove you're capable
4 kids in the space of 7 yrs with no planning and both parents working like enslaved Israelites in Egypt.... tell me how that's not unnecessary stress

If we can't focus on these kids in their early years (at least) it's better not to bring them into this world.

In recent times that peoples' lives are a revolving door consisting of bills, debts and paychecks, it's hard to nurture a kid. And that's more reason why it requires adequate and thorough planning in terms of being there as parents emotionally/physically and materially. No need to do patch- patch if you can't provide. If you can't be there, don't have kids.

Nashville: Coogar,
Are you married and do you have children? Please say yes or no.

lady gogo: Interesting debate.
Kudos Nashville. Wetin Dayokanu go say before. HE aint got time for stay-at-home mums.

Coogar likes to rile people up. He isnt like that in real life. This is his alter ego.

I love how Coogar used Helsinki as an example.

Thats where BABE/Lizzy, his fiancee resides.
You thinking of moving to Helsinki Coogar?

coogar: which debts?
the rat race to belong! debts accrued from getting cars on finance, debts accrued from mortgages just to brag to their colleagues they have arrived, debts accrued to stage an elaborate wedding running into millions of naira, etc if such loans are secured for the quality upbringing of their kids, it would make far more sense but monsieur dayokanu would rather take loans to buy X-6 BMW(a car that can only depreciate in value)

that's where you are getting things wrong. the argument hinges on tangibles & intangibles. there's more to life than figures on a paper. emotional contribution is priceless & can't be valued!

i asked you a question yesterday - can you put a value on your daughter getting sëxually abused by a relative you delegated to look after her just because you & your wife must work to make ends meet?

even if you make 1 billion dollars a month, that daughter you think you're working for is scarred for life. your mouth-watering salary can never undo her emotional scars. you can even go to jail if child negligence can be proven by the state.

lady gogo: Interesting debate.
Thats where BABE/Lizzy, his fiancee resides.

You thinking of moving to Helsinki Coogar?

dayokanu:

You mean you havent seen Babe already on this thread?

coogar:

happily married



jokes!

bukatyne: If 0 - 5yrs is important and a wife is to stay,

How many kids will they have?

What space should be within them?

So we can total how many years the woman should really stay at home

lady gogo:


Wait! IS BABE BEE!?

dayokanu:

Thats the key questions coogar claims you should wait till you save enough Babe said you can wait for 10yrs

If a bride at 27yrs wait for 10yrs thats 37 before she starts having kids what are the biological concerns when having kids at such age

So ask if you stay for 4yrs per child how much would you space them and how many children, So total how many yrs you stay at home. Maybe when we do a proper analysis we would get a figure

Also how would living on a sole income not affect the family standard of living, Coogar thinks everyone have millions saved up somewhere

He even thinks people just work for the sake of it, Then ask him how many ppl would continue working if they are not getting paid.

If you are 100% on your kids tail theres still little you can do to their exposure to crime if you live in certain neighborhoods due to family finances

coogar:

happily married

jokes!

dayokanu:

How can you not know that?

She even has a thread on the Bee monicker which states she is Babe and she opened the account when she was banned

ileobatojo: Lol! The cat is gone so the mice are out to play eh?

Abeg where is Jidegirl?

Nashville:

What if the lady married at 32? Would she then start work at 42? Some of her mates will be thinking of retirement then.

dayokanu:

I am even playing to their side because coogar would tell you no lady marries at 32yrs.

He would tell you all the women he knows married at 19yrs have their masters and were able to wait for 10yrs to save 100m to raise a family

[/b]He already told us spacing 3yrs between kids is too much more like 10yrs spacing is better.

[b]That women in Nigeria barely make 50k a month

Most importantly ppl just work because of capitalist master not because of the need to make money

dayokanu:
If you live in the West and have a College degree chances are that you have a college loan is that also a rat race? they need a car and get a carnote which is also a necesity

If you are in Nigeria you need to rent a house in a decent neighborhood, Most landlords require 2yrs upfront payment which most new couples have to take a loan to pay. Are those part of the rat race too?

As long as you dont follow your daughter to school she can also get molested in the nursery school, primary school even on the play ground

So coogar how much value can you put on your daughter getting raaped while in Nursery school, primary school etc.

If you now have a drop in income and live in a low income area you are even more exposed to these criminals and it quadruples the risk on your children

coogar:

necessity my foot!
how many nigerians completed their degrees with college loans? abeg, talk another thing....nigerians come here & pay their school fees in one swoop!



of course na, couples don't plan for this before tying the knot. you can just go on the street & snatch a woman then take her to church immediately & marry her. no wonder poverty is bread & butter in nigeria. with such mentality, is there any surprise?



hahahaha - see your backward thinking. a daughter will be räped in school? by who? her classmates at age 3-5? her teachers under the full supervision of a canon CCTV?

dayo, you plumb the depths of irrationality when you come up with these excuses. even if my daughter gets assaulted in her school, at least that responsibility has passed over my head unlike you that brought your sëxually abusive nephew from abidjan to look after your child.

i am sure the jury won't need up to 3 mins to send you to 10 years in jail. you will cop a child negligence charge & human trafficking charge of the nephew you brought over from africa. all in your bid to save money.



the chances are 1000000/1 & besides one's daughter getting räped in school can affect both the career couple & the stayathome mum camp. however, your own daughter stands a bigger risk of räpe both in school & in your home.



a drop in income will not lead in a low income area. if my wife & i make £40k per annum each, she's better off staying at home than working after putting to bed.

the UK govt recognises this wife of mine is doing the society at large a huge service so she gets child benefits of about £25k that cannot be taxed. she gets various other benefits ranging from child tax credits, shopping vouchers, paid maternity stipends, etc. all these goodies while staying at home grooming the child to her taste.

if she runs back to work 3 weeks after putting to bed, the child benefit stops. she goes back to her £40k which will be taxed & her takehome pay reduces to £26k. from this £26k, she will have to deduct transport fare, child care cost, lunch, etc plus the fact that she's not there to groom her child to her own taste. after all the deductions, she's reduced to £12k.

i ask again - how are you not penny wise, pound foolish?

damiso:
Biko Coogar pls how can I get this £25k child benefit For wia.Under ConDems lai lai.Its not a walk in the park like that o

damiso:

Biko Coogar pls how can I get this £25k child benefit For wia.Under ConDems lai lai.Its not a walk in the park like that o