damiso:

Nashville I get your point.Even for those faar older I have friends of my mum who have still not gotten their bearings after becoming widows cos their husbands did everything

But this what if the husband dies scenario I keep hearing on NL is a tad bit alarmist jare.Anyone can die at any time .Me thinking my husband might die is not an incentive to earn money or work but simply to fulfil myself as an individual.In the last month, iv heard of 3 deaths of women who worked leaving behind young children.So all these what if the husband dies should not really be an incentive to work.Some men dont even know what to do around their young kids for 6 hours why don't people say you better work less o what will happen to the kids if your wife dies? We simply say men bond with your kids cos its good for their overall wellbeing.Earn money or do something cos its not good to be idle, its good to earn some respect but all this what if the husband dies me I dont know o.

Its not as far fetched... I lost 5 colleagues over the last 2 years...n it hit the wives hard...thry r not used to work

God help any man that says I should sit doen at home after spending how many yrs in school!

Na AK47 tinz!

Msscchhheeeewww....

coogar:

and have it diluted with garri talks & #endtime things?

The fooool has already booked a spot as first time poster

Nice debate so far

coogar:

i am taking about nigeria, not the UK.
an orphan can complete multiple degrees without the aid of anyone. education is free till tertiary institution & student loans apply after then so i couldn't have been talking about the uk where kids get paid by the state every week till age 16 or thereabout.

i fail to see how any absent mum would add any value to her kids apart from materialistic bonds which have been known to fail at least in my own neck of the woods. 100,000 runaway kids in the UK every year is an indicator that chasing 2 massive objectives will not get the best of both worlds.

raising kids is a career on it's own & my wife filling in the gap for 4-5 years is a temporary measure - it will not suddenly make her destitute. no one is coercing anyone into housewifery or whatever. i owe my kids quality upbringing & i do not consider hiring house-helps to do these jobs as quality grooming.

so you really think women in nigeria dont earn up to 100k monthly? Chai? We definitely know different kinds of women and i will leave it there. For you to ask how many women make 100k monthly is shocking.

you keep quoting 100k children leave home every year. Do you really think these children belong to parents that both went to oxford where the dad is a banker and the mum works for a top law firm? Or do you think these kids belong to lowly paid or jobless irresponsible parents where both parents live on welfare. Think about it before answering or you can do some more research.

Coogar, are you in Helsinki yet or would you rather open Coogar university in the Uk?

Nice thread, with an insightful topic for debate.

Personally, I think it all boils down to one's circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all.

Yes, there is a logical argument for a parent to be with the child in their early, formative years (0-5) but the question is this: how realistic or achievable is this? Many parents out here in the UK work because they have no choice and can't afford to stay at home and look after their kids. Bills MUST be paid and certain bills like ensuring the roof over your head stays intact - are no-nonsense debts that must be paid else you risk losing your home.

Being a stay-at-home mum (I hate that term housewife), is equally no mean feat. You have to WANT to do it, and as a career woman, I'd rather be given the choice to do it and not be forced or coerced into it. An unhappy stay-at-home mum would be resentful and this would rub off on her kids and husband. She most certainly will find one way or the other to kick against it, even if she has to do it reluctantly. I don't think that's a healthy atmosphere for two adults to live in, much less bring up impressionable kids in.

On the flip side of the coin, a woman who chooses to put her career on line for the sake of her kids, will not feel too bothered about undertaking the very real sacrifices that go with it. She'll be happy doing it because she's doing it on her terms and knows she can go back to work when she wants to. For the time they're home, they'll put their heart and soul into running their family home to the best of their abilities. It's very important to state at this point that the man has to be appreciative of her efforts and encourage her. Adopting the average Naija man mentality and looking down his nose at her, or getting involved in acts that do nothing more than to chip away at her self-esteem and confidence will back fire and that's where resentment (from her) sets in.

Dami, I agree with you - different strokes for different folks. To each their own.

I like this thread,very mature. Well life i s a choice, as for me, i can't cope in a situation where i have to depend on my husband for every single thing. Nah. Might as well be living with my parents again. Coogar women earn much now.

yellowpawpaw: I love this debate.

To those advocating that women should stay at home let's do a little flashback.

In d olden days, we don't hv career women rather we hv market women. In igboland for example, the women wake up very early to prepare to various town markets. Mind u they trek(no proper means of transportation then). Around 4 pm u c them parking their wares to head home (they r mostly in groups) by d time they reach home, its already dark. The next day, d cycle continues.
For most of us who don't understand what I am saying let me illustrate.

In igboland we hv 4 market days. Afor, nkwo,eke,oye.
Each town has different market days ascribed to their town market eg Eke Awka in Anambra state, Nkwor Nnewi etc. Market women have stalls or shades in those different town markets which they go to to buy and sell.

Invariably, they r mostly not at home and yet run their home affairs successfully.
I think such is still being practised by many.
They were equivelant to today's career women.
So my question is, if those our great grand mothers did that and succeded, pray tell me why today,s women can't be career women and still succeed in the home front.
Mind u also that in those days, men don't help out in d home like they do now. No washing machine, vacuum cleaner,dish washer, personal vehicle, and still go and do farm work. And they give birth like chicken too.
Where and what is the problem pls?

YellowP,

God bless you!

That one too far!

What of women selling at Balogun market?

What of women who buy goods from one village and sell in Lagos?

I guess their children are rotten!

Buky,
The truth is that I'm tired of everyday career woman this career woman that as if our mummies or great grand mummies were idle.
I used that example to tell them that from time imemorial, women have been up and doing and still manage their home front effectively.
The argument just don't make sense to me.
That u r a stay at home mum,career woman or a mkt woman is not a criteria for measuring a good mum at all.
We should know better.

Nashville:
so you really think women in nigeria dont earn up to 100k monthly? Chai? We definitely know different kinds of women and i will leave it there. For you to ask how many women make 100k monthly is shocking.

how many of them earn that much? why concentrate on the minority when the majority should be focused on? even a woman that is earning N70k per month would puff her chest that she wants to work in case something happens to the hubby - what safety net does N70k/month provide in case a husband dies?

i fail to see how that amount is the preferable option to hiring potential criminals to look after my kids. go to google & see the number of kids that have been kidnapped by house helps in nigeria because madam insisted on working.....

you keep quoting 100k children leave home every year. Do you really think these children belong to parents that both went to oxford where the dad is a banker and the mum works for a top law firm? Or do you think these kids belong to lowly paid or jobless irresponsible parents where both parents live on welfare. Think about it before answering or you can do some more research.

the rich actually suffer runaway kids the most. thousands of the kids ran away when they felt no love & many have been converted by radical muslims. i can give you links on this if pressed.

unless my wife is a top surgeon general, i don't think any salary she makes can substitute leaving my kids in the hands of strangers that may abuse my kids.....if she's a surgeon, then i am ready to sacrifice my own career to stay at home with my kids.

Nashville: Coogar, are you in Helsinki yet or would you rather open Coogar university in the Uk?

siddon there.....
i am @ gatwick already going on a RECCE to helsinki. i will give you a comprehensive report when i get back.

Efemena_xy: Nice thread, with an insightful topic for debate.

Personally, I think it all boils down to one's circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all.

Yes, there is a logical argument for a parent to be with the child in their early, formative years (0-5) but the question is this: how realistic or achievable is this? Many parents out here in the UK work because they have no choice and can't afford to stay at home and look after their kids. Bills MUST be paid and certain bills like ensuring the roof over your head stays intact - are no-nonsense debts that must be paid else you risk losing your home.

Being a stay-at-home mum (I hate that term housewife), is equally no mean feat. You have to WANT to do it, and as a career woman, I'd rather be given the choice to do it and not be forced or coerced into it. An unhappy stay-at-home mum would be resentful and this would rub off on her kids and husband. She most certainly will find one way or the other to kick against it, even if she has to do it reluctantly. I don't think that's a healthy atmosphere for two adults to live in, much less bring up impressionable kids in.

On the flip side of the coin, a woman who chooses to put her career on line for the sake of her kids, will not feel too bothered about undertaking the very real sacrifices that go with it. She'll be happy doing it because she's doing it on her terms and knows she can go back to work when she wants to. For the time they're home, they'll put their heart and soul into running their family home to the best of their abilities. It's very important to state at this point that the man has to be appreciative of her efforts and encourage her. [b]Adopting the average Naija man mentality and looking down his nose at her, or getting involved in acts that do nothing more than to chip away at her self-esteem and confidence will back fire and that's where [/b]resentment (from her) sets in.

Dami, I agree with you - different strokes for different folks. To each their own.

And THAT Efe is one of the main reasons its not a good idea basically because of how we are.Most Nigerians find it difficult to respect anyone they feel is not financially pulling their weight. It happens among siblings parents sef, the highest earner often gets the most respect.At the other end of the coin too, it takes a reorientation and perhaps some kind of strength of character for some Nigerian women to really really respect a man she out earns. Respect should not necessarily be tied to finance but unfortunately that's how we are.Some Naija men start taking the pi*** when they feel what are you contributing sef,so yeah In the typical naija setting its advisable to please earn your keep to retain your respect.There was this thread on stay at home husbands and some people were like yeah I dont mind.In Naija? Dont think so .Even if you respect your man, na people go help you disrespect am,'common keep quiet there no be your wife dey feed you' .

yellowpawpaw: I love this debate.

To those advocating that women should stay at home let's do a little flashback.

In d olden days, we don't hv career women rather we hv market women. In igboland for example, the women wake up very early to prepare to various town markets. Mind u they trek(no proper means of transportation then). Around 4 pm u c them parking their wares to head home (they r mostly in groups) by d time they reach home, its already dark. The next day, d cycle continues.
For most of us who don't understand what I am saying let me illustrate.

In igboland we hv 4 market days. Afor, nkwo,eke,oye.
Each town has different market days ascribed to their town market eg Eke Awka in Anambra state, Nkwor Nnewi etc. Market women have stalls or shades in those different town markets which they go to to buy and sell.

Invariably, they r mostly not at home and yet run their home affairs successfully.
I think such is still being practised by many.
They were equivelant to today's career women.
So my question is, if those our great grand mothers did that and succeded, pray tell me why today,s women can't be career women and still succeed in the home front.
Mind u also that in those days, men don't help out in d home like they do now. No washing machine, vacuum cleaner,dish washer, personal vehicle, and still go and do farm work. And they give birth like chicken too.
Where and what is the problem pls?

this illustration is flawed.
the kids stayed with their mother. everyone goes to the farm. the mothers put their babies on their backs & toiled in the farm with them. that period of life was when children spent time with their parents the most & we could tell from the way these kids became upstanding citizens in their neighbourhood.

crime rate was low - parents disciplined their wards when they stepped out of line & the whole village acted as parents for any wayward child. there was no formal education then as well so the market/farm/river represented the formal education in those years.

yellowpawpaw: Buky,
The truth is that I'm tired of everyday career woman this career woman that as if our mummies or great grand mummies were idle.
I used that example to tell them that from time imemorial, women have been up and doing and still manage their home front effectively.
The argument just don't make sense to me.
That u r a stay at home mum,career woman or a mkt woman is not a criteria for measuring a good mum at all.
We should know better.

I agree.I even laugh when some stay at home mums say ' I am a full time mum' like the working mum is a part time mum
My argument is esp on NL, stay at home mums are demonised, called lazy, ,liability, ambitionless etc.Let everyone do what works for them and their kids and stop looking down on or labelling the other set.I can talk from both ends NONE of them are necessarily easier than the other.But again,humans are different. I can even say I have much more to do now that I dont do typical 9 to 5 so that is me.I am going back to work cos kids get more expensive as they grow older (depending on what you want for them) but I am working now on improving myself to reenter the workforce better than I left sef.Which is why my 2 children is enough for me, I can't slow down again in some yrs time when i am in full throttle.

So lets stop tearing each other down cos the other person is not necessarily towing our path
Like I say never judge anyone unless you have walked in their shoes.

damiso:

And THAT Efe is one of the main reasons its not a good idea basically because of how we are. Most Nigerians find it difficult to respect anyone they feel is not financially pulling their weight. It happens among siblings parents sef, the highest earner often gets the most respect.At the other end of the coin too, it takes a reorientation and perhaps some kind of strength of character for some Nigerian women to really really respect a man she out earns. Respect should not necessarily be tied to finance but unfortunately that's how we are.Some Naija men start taking the pi*** when they feel what are you contributing sef,so yeah In the typical naija setting its advisable to please earn your keep to retain your respect.There was this thread on stay at home husbands and some people were like yeah I dont mind.In Naija? Dont think so .Even if you respect your man, na people go help you disrespect am,'common keep quiet there no be your wife dey feed you' .

the truth is most nigerians don't know jack about family planning. newlywed husbands regardless of their income or finances just impregnate their partners to prove to the society they are potent.

after spending their entire savings on their wedding to please the society, the next thing they do is to quickly bring a child into the equation without adequate planning. the orientation needs to change in that country.

coogar:

how many of them earn that much? why concentrate on the minority when the majority should be focused on? even a woman that is earning N70k per month would puff her chest that she wants to work in case something happens to the hubby - what safety net does N70k/month provide in case a husband dies?

i fail to see how that amount is the preferable option to hiring potential criminals to look after my kids. go to google & see the number of kids that have been kidnapped by house helps in nigeria because madam insisted on working.....

the rich actually suffer runaway kids the most. thousands of the kids ran away when they felt no love & many have been concetedf by radical muslims. i can give you links on this if pressed.

unless my wife is a top surgeon general, i don't think any salary she makes can substitute leaving my kids in the hands of strangers that may abuse my kids.....if she's a surgeon, then i am ready to sacrifice my own career to stay at home with my kids.

siddon there.....
i am @ gatwick already going on a RECCE to helsinki. i will give you a comprehensive report when i get back.

Now you must be joking. You mean rich people have more children running away from home than the poor? So let me ask you. For most of the children that run away from home in Lagos, are their parents more likely to live in VI/Ikoyi or Ajegunle/Mushin. So you believe most of the area boys have parents that live in Ikoyi and VI? U really believe that?

Secondly you want your wife to be a top surgeon? Where is she going to start from? From the top? You dont want her to work at all unless she is given the very top job? Seriously mate, what are you thinking. So unless your wife is given the CEO job, then she is better off at home? What experience will make them give her the top job? Chidcare?

Bros did you really say 70k is what women dont earn? Any Oil Company, Bank, Telecomms or Consulting job pays more than that every month. Anyone. Doctors, Lawyers etc all earn more than that. Are you sure you are talking of educated women with some years of experience or are you talking about a village girl looking for a job?

Nashville:
Now you must be joking. You mean rich people have more children running away from home than the poor? So let me ask you. For most of the children that run away from home in Lagos, are their parents more likely to live in VI/Ikoyi or Ajegunle/Mushin. So you believe most of the area boys have parents that live in Ikoyi and VI? U really believe that?

in the UK, the rich suffer more runaway kids than the poor. the primary cause of this is neglect & the kids not feeling loved enough. the poor in the UK are mostly benefit scroungers - they stay home & watch TV with their kids in the afternoon.

Secondly you want your wife to be a top surgeon? Where is she going to start from? From the top? You dont want her to work at all unless she is given the very top job? Seriously mate, what are you thinking. So unless your wife is given the CEO job, then she is better off at home? What experience will make them give her the top job? Chidcare?

even logic suggests she must have been a surgeon before the issue of rearing children comes up so you are arguing backwards.

i said "unless my wife is a surgeon, i don't think any salary out there is worth leaving my kids in the hands of strangers" - i ask again, which one precedes the other? the profession or the pregnancy?

Bros did you really say 70k is what women dont earn? Any Oil Company, Bank, Telecomms or Consulting job pays more than that every month. Anyone. Doctors, Lawyers etc all earn more than that. Are you sure you are talking of educated women with some years of experience or are you talking about a village girl looking for a job?

what percentage of the nigerian women workforce are in oil, bank, telecom & consulting jobs? nigeria is 160 million population - let's assume 40 million women are in employment - i put it to you that less than 1 million women of that 40 million are high salary earners - they are in the minority!

@coogar-Surgeon general? Seriously? Just like that? Ok . Goodluck to that 'lucky' woman you marry. And go to oil companies, even banks and see how highly paid women are. Unfollowing this thread for personal reasons.

coogar:

in the UK, the rich suffer more runaway kids than the poor. the primary cause of this is neglect & the kids not feeling loved enough. the poor in the UK are mostly benefit scrounges - they stay home & watch TV with their kids in the afternoon.

even logic suggests she must have been a surgeon before the issue of rearing children comes up so you are arguing backwards.

i said "unless my wife is a surgeon, i don't think any salary out there is worth leaving my kids in the hands of strangers" - i ask again, which one precedes the other? the profession or the pregnancy?

what percentage of the nigerian women workforce are in oil, bank, telecom & consulting jobs? nigeria is 160 million population - let's assume 40 million women are in employment - i put it to you that less than 1 million women of that 40 million are high salary earners - they are in the minority!

You keep running in between NIgeria and the UK choosing whichever you think will support your spurious claims. So I ask again, if you look at the children that run away from home in London, are their parents more likely to live in Chelsea/Kensington or Peckham/East London. Please answer truthfully. Why would a child that has gone to Eton and has admission to study medicine at Cambridge run away from home. Why would a child with a role model, hard working father and mother want to run away from home. On the other side in Peckham where lots of people are on benefits, and the children go to very crappy school, dont you think they are the more likely to run away from home. Children that are already member of gangs as teenagers and the girls mostly pregnant at 18? Please where are the gangs more predominant in London? Chelsea/Kensington to Peckham/Old Kent? Be truthful, which are has reported more gang killings?

So if your wife is not a surgeon, she does not deserve to work? Guy are your really typing this or you just want to argue? Do you think surgeons are the highest paid in the world or UK? Do you know a derivatives trader can make about 5 times more than a surgeon makes? Not sure you know that.

And from the numbers you quote you know nothing about NIgeria's population. We are about 160million people with about half of those under 25. So if you remove retired women and illterate women, then your sample of active educated women (graduates) in the work force is more like 10 million. On the other hand alot of these women also do business, importation, etc. So to think that just a few earn 100k a month is alarming. In fact you need to change the kind of friends you have as I can see they may not got you very far!

Nashville:

So if your wife is not a surgeon, she does not deserve to work? Guy are your really typing this or you just want to argue? Do you think surgeons are the highest paid in the world or UK? Do you know a derivatives trader can make about 5 times more than a surgeon makes? Not sure you know that.

I don't think that's what he meant. Coogar is saying the 'stay-at-home' scheme is temporary (3,4-5yrs, depending on child spacing ). How does that equate to her not deserving to work?
Plus she's been working prior pregnancy/ies. It's just a break. Her Harvard degree isn't going to waste like you claim. Dedicating 5 whole years to your kids out of the 75 years one will live for isn't much of a big deal if you ask me.

Nashville:

You keep running in between NIgeria and the UK choosing whichever you think will support your spurious claims. So I ask again, if you look at the children that run away from home in London, are their parents more likely to live in Chelsea/Kensington or Peckham/East London. Please answer truthfully. Why would a child that has gone to Eton and has admission to study medicine at Cambridge run away from home. Why would a child with a role model, hard working father and mother want to run away from home. On the other side in Peckham where lots of people are on benefits, and the children go to very crappy school, dont you think they are the more likely to run away from home. Children that are already member of gangs as teenagers and the girls mostly pregnant at 18? Please where are the gangs more predominant in London? Chelsea/Kensington to Peckham/Old Kent? Be truthful, which are has reported more gang killings?

if the child does not feel loved, all the things you listed above means nothing. these ones are even the worst when it comes to rebellion - they are the type that will go to pakistan & yemen and join al-qaeda. tell us again what mutallab lacked - his flat in central london is worth £3m.

So if your wife is not a surgeon, she does not deserve to work? Guy are your really typing this or you just want to argue? Do you think surgeons are the highest paid in the world or UK? Do you know a derivatives trader can make about 5 times more than a surgeon makes? Not sure you know that.

do you have difficulty interpreting simple sentences? i said there's no work out there that can substitute leaving my kids to strangers for unless my wife is a surgeon general. if we cannot afford leaving her job then we won't raise kids & she would continue doing her job - how does this translate to if she's not a surgeon general she cannot work?

And from the numbers you quote you know nothing about NIgeria's population. We are about 160million people with about half of those under 25. So if you remove retired women and illterate women, then your sample of active educated women (graduates) in the work force is more like 10 million.

10 million female graduates in the workforce in nigeria? you must be having a laugh - you surely have problems with numbers.

On the other hand alot of these women also do business, importation, etc. So to think that just a few earn 100k a month is alarming. In fact you need to change the kind of friends you have as I can see they may not got you very far!

if a lot of these women do business & importation then it means they also don't have a routine 9-5 job & thus they are flexible & can stayathome when rearing their children. so what's the fuss about?

how come the minimum wage in nigeria is less than N20,000 if majority earn N100,000? how come the median monthly income(both sexes) in nigeria is about N50,000? we are talking about a country where there's a wide gender wage discrimination & you think majority of the females earn N100k/month?

please - rethink your points!

BEE!:

I don't think that's what he meant. Coogar is saying the 'stay-at-home' scheme is temporary (3,4-5yrs, depending on child spacing ). How does that equate to her not deserving to work?

Plus she's been working prior pregnancy/ies. It's just a break. Her Harvard degree isn't going to waste like you claim. Dedicating 5 whole years to your kids out of the 75 years one will live for isn't much of a big deal if you ask me.

of course, he knows what i mean but he's buying time for himself so he feigns ignorance. how many times am i going to repeat the stayathome scheme is a temporary measure? how many times am i going to repeat there must be an adequate plan before deciding to raise kids?

coogar:

if the child does not feel loved, all the things you listed above means nothing. these ones are even the worst when it comes to rebellion - they are the type that will go to pakistan & yemen and join al-qaeda. tell us again what mutallab lacked - his flat in central london is worth £3m.



do you have difficulty interpreting simple sentences? i said there's no work out there that can substitute leaving my kids to strangers for unless my wife is a surgeon general. if we cannot afford leaving her job then we won't raise kids & she would continue doing her job - how does this translate to if she's not a surgeon general she cannot work?



10 million female graduates in the workforce in nigeria? you must be having a laugh - you surely have problems with numbers.



if a lot of these women do business & importation then it means they also don't have a routine 9-5 job & thus they are flexible & can stayathome when rearing their children. so what's the fuss about?

how come the minimum wage in nigeria is less than N20,000 if majority earn N100,000? how come the median monthly income(both sexes) in nigeria is about N50,000? we are talking about a country where there's a wide gender wage discrimination & you think majority of the females earn N100k/month?

please - rethink your points!

I can see that because your arguements are being flawed, you have resorted to insults. I will no longer comment as I do not engage in such!

Nashville, you know this issue of low income area is very subjective in London (cant say of other parts of the UK) low income housing is mostly social housing and every Borough in London including Chelsea and Kensington have social housing. Nunhead, Dulwich are interwoven with Peckham and you have alot of upper middle class people living in these areas.In short Dulwich has some of the best state schools in London. I will use my area as an example it just about 10 mins to Canary Wharf and the City and has excellent transport links.Its a mixture.In my daughters class, you have middle class oyinbo kids, middle class proffessional immigrants kids and of course the kids whose parents are on benefits but live in the neighbourhood cos thats where their council property is.I won't even lie or feel funky if my husband did not buy his property off the right to buy scheme we could never ever afford to live here.Fact.Rents for a two bed go for as high as £500 a week or more sef.
I get the gang related issues bla bla but that is another dimension.Funny enough alot of our people (yes our people) whose kids get mixed upIin gangs have two working parents working low end jobs working 500 hrs a week so mum can buy the latest gold and Dad can build mansion in Naija.

Nashville:

I can see that because your arguements are being flawed, you have resorted to insults. I will no longer comment as I do not engage in such!

'do you have difficulty interpreting simple sentences?' isn't enough reason to quit this debate. C'mon on, man up! I'm a strong advocate for staying at home for your kids (for a while), but the workaholic-mums camp has made great points on this thread so far. So, please continue.

coogar:
of course, he knows what i mean but he's buying time for himself so he feigns ignorance. how many times am i going to repeat the stayathome scheme is a temporary measure? how many times am i going to repeat there must be an adequate plan before deciding to raise kids?

The men are so used to getting help from their wives nowadays that the thought of her staying home for the kids (for a while) is mind boggling. Some men even vex that their spouses have to stay home for two weeks after she's put to bed.

And the women too, the "what a man can do a woman can do better" mentality has changed their thought processes. 'I must feel important- I must work all my life-'. Forgetting that they're the BIOLOGICAL MOTHER of those kids. The kids need their mother for those first few years. can't stress enough how important that is.

Well,I believe and know that it is very possible to be a career woman who manages her home well,its kind of difficult, but there are ways around it if u have a very supportive patner.
However,I disagree with the notion that a full time housewife probably has no ambition, opting for that in itself requires a lot of determination and sacrifice.I ve been on leave for sometime now and u need to see my son's facial expression whenever he comes back from school ,it is priceless.
I thought to myself,this is how it should be,but I can't give up my career ,I ll rather manage the two to the best of my ability.
Fulfilment in whatever path chosen by us is the most important thing.
Finally a woman with a career and a good marriage is the one who has a GRAND SUCCESS.

yellowpawpaw: Buky,
The truth is that I'm tired of everyday career woman this career woman that as if our mummies or great grand mummies were idle.
I used that example to tell them that from time imemorial, women have been up and doing and still manage their home front effectively.
The argument just don't make sense to me.
That u r a stay at home mum,career woman or a mkt woman is not a criteria for measuring a good mum at all.
We should know better.

The funny thing is that a 'career' mother has weekend to rest; most market women businesses boom on Saturdays and Sundays so what are we saying?

There is a different between career and working to earn a living

coogar:

if the child does not feel loved, all the things you listed above means nothing. these ones are even the worst when it comes to rebellion - they are the type that will go to pakistan & yemen and join al-qaeda. tell us again what mutallab lacked - his flat in central london is worth £3m.



do you have difficulty interpreting simple sentences? i said there's no work out there that can substitute leaving my kids to strangers for unless my wife is a surgeon general. if we cannot afford leaving her job then we won't raise kids & she would continue doing her job - how does this translate to if she's not a surgeon general she cannot work?



10 million female graduates in the workforce in nigeria? you must be having a laugh - you surely have problems with numbers.



if a lot of these women do business & importation then it means they also don't have a routine 9-5 job & thus they are flexible & can stayathome when rearing their children. so what's the fuss about?

how come the minimum wage in nigeria is less than N20,000 if majority earn N100,000? how come the median monthly income(both sexes) in nigeria is about N50,000? we are talking about a country where there's a wide gender wage discrimination & you think majority of the females earn N100k/month?

please - rethink your points!

I laugh in Spanish!

A business woman has more flexibility than a 9 - 5 woman?

What will I not hear on NL?

Maybe you are talking about the women who have kiosks outside their houses sha

bukatyne:
I laugh in Spanish!

A business woman has more flexibility than a 9 - 5 woman?

What will I not hear on NL?

Maybe you are talking about the women who have kiosks outside their houses sha

of course, she does!
she owns her own business, she doesn't have to answer to anyone or report to work at 8am. thankfully, mobile phones & e-banking plus debit cards have also helped in transacting business without necessarily having to move from one place to another.

BEE!:

The men are so used to getting help from their wives nowadays that the thought of her staying home for the kids (for a while) is mind boggling. Some men even vex that their spouses have to stay home for two weeks after she's put to bed.

lazy-arsë men like dayokanu.....
what do you expect? they have become domesticated & effeminate thinking that's the new cool. they want to see the women work themselves to death & the women themselves think it's freedom to leave the house & work and yet they still struggle to make ends meet & children suffer abuse & neglect on top of it.

And the women too, the "what a man can do a woman can do better" mentality has changed their thought processes. 'I must feel important- I must work all my life-'. Forgetting that they're the BIOLOGICAL MOTHER of those kids. The kids need their mother for those first few years. can't stress enough how important that is.

yes, modern women want to be emasculated. they want the freedom like men to wake up every morning & go to work thus abandoning their femininity. it's gotten so bad in the UK now that my taxes will be used to bribe nursing mothers to breastfeed their own children as from next year - all in the name of sëx equality.


oops - lest i forget, a big shout out to Nashville for staging a cop-out after he's exhausted all his frail points.

coogar:

of course, she does!
she owns her own business, she doesn't have to answer to anyone or report to work at 8am. thankfully, mobile phones & e-banking plus debit cards have also helped in transacting business without necessarily having to move from one place to another.

You have lost touch with the Nigerian environ haven't you?

E-banking + debit cards for a woman that sells lace at Balogun market?

Will not be there by 8:00am when by 8:00am different women will be coercing you to patronize them meaning

They had arrived at the market,
Cleaned it up and arranged their goods...

All before 8:00am

LOL! once again that most market women have more flexible hours than working women!

bukatyne:

I laugh in Spanish!

A business woman has more flexibility than a 9 - 5 woman?

What will I not hear on NL?

Maybe you are talking about the women who have kiosks outside their houses sha

Bukatyne yes she does have more flexibility. ....Not saying she works less.Her time is just more flexible.I slept at 2.00 am wrapping parcels I needed to send out today after I finished my coursework when the kids were in bed.I in turn woke up at half 7 this morning. If I woke up at half 7 when I worked 9 to 5 I would be late for work cos I would miss my train.

bukatyne:

You have lost touch with the Nigerian environ haven't you?

E-banking + debit cards for a woman that sells lace at Balogun market?

Will not be there by 8:00am when by 8:00am different women will be coercing you to patronize them meaning

They had arrived at the market,
Cleaned it up and arranged their goods...

All before 8:00am

LOL! once again that most market women have more flexible hours than working women!

Its more flexible cos they can choose their hours.Of course there is alot of passion when you run your own business so you tend to work more but the key is you can decide those hours.My mum sells in Balogun by the way and she gets to her shop 10/11.Most of the high earners in this category you mentioned have shopgirls.Those are the ones that get to work 8am

bukatyne:

You have lost touch with the Nigerian environ haven't you?

E-banking + debit cards for a woman that sells lace at Balogun market?

Will not be there by 8:00am when by 8:00am different women will be coercing you to patronize them meaning

They had arrived at the market,
Cleaned it up and arranged their goods...

All before 8:00am

LOL! once again that most market women have more flexible hours than working women!

so it's not just possible for someone else to go open the store in the market while this balogun market woman is tending to her kids, it must be the nursing mother?

do you even know the meaning of flexibility? as far as the shop is open, whoever is there bears no relevance. her sibling, relative or even shopgirl(apprentices) can open the shop & business will commence.

can your sister go to the office on your behalf?