Efemena_xy:

It's tempting to say he should take some of the blame as per he knew what he was getting into by marrying her - but he isn't in control of her mouth or her lack of manners.

i would have love to make everything plain to nairalanders but i am not permitted. Then you will all see how real it was.
The wife i am talking about here was very meek and gentle when she was my senior in secondary school then and everybody like her for that.
But this is strange to everybody now.

vizion:


@bolded

Many times on this site one reads an sort of advise, where one is told to sit a party down and talk to them

Are you aware that in reality, ppl are allergic to advice, and it is only when the problem escalates beyond their control, they start saying things like 'had i known' and best. At worse, they would stick to their guns, and make excuse for their crappy behaviour

so husband cannot talk to a wife again? So why did they marry,whats the basis or foundation for their marriage..is it jut to impress family with awa na ti marry.they said we should marry so we just married.smh..if husband is not capable of speaking to the wife and she will act accordingly or woman cannot talk to the husband about things she doesnt like,why then will one call them husband and wife.its only room mates that live in the same room and have no right to advise each other that the other party will listen

Its better than beating her up though.

I can't comment until I know the hows and whys of the situation.

The other option is prayer.

Do you really expect them to retrain the wife then send her back to you after the public disgrace. You acted before thinking, after dating a woman for two years then married for two years.....you're telling this bullshits. No issues right......cos it seems but of you are really fed up with each other to be shouting on the top of your voice at each conversation. She stays at home doing nothing....cos if she is a career lady bringing in the dough, you won't be sending her back to her parents for retraining or whatever, you only do that to leeches. Well Yerima, get another while you wait for the retrained wife.......unless you get enough money or the parents lack shame.....they ain't sending their daughter back to you.

kulyie: efemena i dont remember calling you names.you may go back to the post and re read.it is there for all to see.

No?

Here, let me help you:

kulyie: efemena what the hell is wrong with you lately.what has come over you.


Abi is this someone else fronting as efemena.anyway to the issue,the lady lacks 'home trainning' and she has gone back home to receieve the home training.what of the mr husband?the same way it takes 'training' to live with a husband,shouldnt there be 'training' to live with a woman too. The efemena i know is not a chauvenist so i dont know where she got her new found chauvenism from.

Some men are just a joke :/ they cant even take care of themselves or live alone talkless of living as a family man.infact,somr things i see here irritate me to my bones and thats why i like it when people like kanwulia lashes out on some people in a sarcastic way.

The words in blue - what do you call them? And the bolded sentence above - who's being aggressive here?

bellong: @Op,

Could you please give me the concluding part of the story. Did her parents retrain her or sent her back to her husband? Abeg complete the puzzle

Nop.
Still with her parent coz the husband threaten to do something silly if they try sending her without a change.

Efemena_xy:

No?

Here, let me help you:



The words in blue - what do you call them? And the bolded sentence above - who's being aggressive here?

asking you where you got your chauvenistic behaviours is not an abuse,its just a question including what is wrong with you.for example if you had a friend that used to behave in a particular way and all of a sudden changes and turns into a different person wont you ask WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU,WHICH IS A QUESTION.so why the edginess.

Baby yi simmer,cool down 8-)

Mrs Awesome: Do you really expect them to retrain the wife then send her back to you after the public disgrace. You acted before thinking, after dating a woman for two years then married for two years.....you're telling this bullshits. No issues right......cos it seems but of you are really fed up with each other to be shouting on the top of your voice at each conversation. She stays at home doing nothing....cos if she is a career lady bringing in the dough, you won't be sending her back to her parents for retraining or whatever, you only do that to leeches. Well Yerima, get another while you wait for the retrained wife.......unless you get enough money or the parents lack shame.....they ain't sending their daughter back to you.

guy you really tried.

But i am not the one concerned here. Ok

Ewuro707: And someone is making sense and finally gets it

Efe is on fire!!!

Yenyenyen sit her down one on one blah blah, talk is cheap behind their phone/computers on here.

Action speaks louder than just mere words especially when you're dealing with he/she-goats.

Wonder why cops use teasers on some drivers after hours of convo yielding no results? Nobody is preaching violence, but when you've had too much crap, put a sock on it- impolite but works a great deal.

Sowie.

And CC says this is not our beloved jydo .Yenyenyen is so like her vocab.Sorry ewuro but you remind me sooo much of jidegirl and deep down I think you are her .

@Post funny if true . warranty things. .Extreme and immature but a bit better than getting physical.

kulyie: asking you where you got your chauvenistic behaviours is not an abuse,its just a question including what is wrong with you.for example if you had a friend that used to behave in a particular way and all of a sudden changes and turns into a different person wont you ask WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU,WHICH IS A QUESTION.so why the edginess.

Baby yi simmer,cool down 8-)

Did I mention abuse in my post, Kuylie? I asked you to quite the accusations and name calling which is what I've gotten from your post here. And no, I don't like your tone - it's rude - and no, there is nothing wrong with me.

Efemena_xy:

I should be asking you that question because going through your posts, I fail to see what you're getting at.

His wife shouts at the top of her voice when talking / communicating with him - is that sane behaviour in your books? He's borne it for two years and had enough. So what do you mean by he should sit her down and communicate with her? Hasn't he been doing that so far and more importantly has it worked?

Despite the fact that he isn't happy with the situation, he hasn't fought or raised his fist against her, neither has he divorced her, but taken her back to her village to learn some basic etiquette. So what's the awful crime he's made here?

Now kindly quit the accusations and name calling Kulyie. If you want to make your point, do so without yelling. I'm not deaf.

If the man has talked for over two years and she has refused to change even after consultation with the parents, I support his decision to send her back for retraining and brain adjustment.

^^ Round of applause for you, ma'am!

tpia@:
Its better than beating her up though.

I can't comment until I know the hows and whys of the situation.

The other option is prayer.

and what will praying achieve here?
turn a bad cook into an excellent cook overnight? i'm sure if God is ever interviewed, He will say nigerians are the highest abusers of prayers. jeeeez!

prayers should be the icing on the cake - the catalyst/facilitator/multiplier & that's after the individual must have put in all his efforts. i'm tired of hearing people pray amiss!

Efemena_xy: ^^ Round of applause for you, ma'am!

lol, the two circumstances are entirely different.

damiso:
Extreme and immature but a bit better than getting physical.

Add razz to that!

steph7: lol, the two circumstances are entirely different.

You mean this situation and the one about the fish-mouthed wife?

Actually, there is a common factor here - they both run-off their mouths. Jezz! I hope I don't open up another thread about a loose-mouthed wife!

Efemena_xy:

Did I mention abuse in my post, Kuylie? I asked you to quite the accusations and name calling which is what I've gotten from your post here. And no, I don't like your tone - it's rude - and no, there is nothing wrong with me.

rude ke? And what is wrong with my tone.anyway the point is that all this bread and butter patch and paste marriages this days ehen,smh

endurance,patience,change,prayer has entered into the bin.it is now for better for stay,for worse for go

Efemena_xy:

You mean this situation and the one about the fish-mouthed wife?

Actually, there is a common factor here - they both run-off their mouths. Jezz! I hope I don't open up another thread about a loose-mouthed wife!

Agreed, but instead of hitting her, he sent her back to go and learn some manners.

Miner13:

Nop.
Still with her parent coz the husband threaten to do something silly if they try sending her without a change.

i won't be surprised if this husband is having an affair already. his scheme is groundbreaking though, he's got himself time to philander. he now has about 2-4 weeks to himself until oga madam returns from the village.

coogar:

i won't be surprised if this husband is having an affair already. his scheme is groundbreaking though, he's got himself time to philander. he now has about 2-4 weeks to himself until oga madam returns from the village.

It's gonna take more than 2-4 weeks to reformat her brain. Two years worth of crassness is no can of beans.

Where do you send husbands when they misbehave? Double standard
. Women even at 70-80 your husband can still send you back to your family.....so pathetic.
Women should start gaining financial, emotional and social independent from their man at least no right thinking idiotos will dream of sending you back to whomever like damaged goods just cos he feels like or believe it is necessary for him....

kulyie: you are a clown

many guys this days need FATHERS.they need people to teach them how to behave like real men not like crude chauvenists or animals.smha lot of men have dysfunctional behaviours because they did not have any father figure that will mould them into behaving/acting like refine men who know how to treat a lady :/


as for the hissing,thats for your ass not me

i read a thread like that where you were engaged in an e-battle with another member here. It seems you like stuffs like that. However, I won't give you that priviledge. I'm not used to trading words with people from the lower end of the intelligence scale. So I'll let you pass. You can also use the time you'll use to prepare a reply to get a life 'cos I'm not going to reply you the second time.

Mrs Awesome: Where do you send husbands when they misbehave? Double standard
. Women even at 70-80 your husband can still send you back to your family.....so pathetic.
Women should start gaining financial, emotional and social independent from their man at least no right thinking idiotos will dream of sending you back to whomever like damaged goods just cos he feels like or believe it is necessary for him....

it depends on your country of residence....
in my neck of the woods, a woman can have her husband/boyfriend kicked out of the house anytime she pleases. all she needs to tell the police is that his presence in the house threatens her & he may not return home until she's satisfied that he is well-behaved.

Efemena_xy:
It's gonna take more than 2-4 weeks to reformat her brain. Two years worth of crassness is no can of beans.

Miner13: This was the reply of a young man, married two years ago.
He said, her wife lacked good manner of approach, she shouted on top her voice whenever there is misunderstanding, no matter how little the disagreement was.
He also said he had tried to coped with that, but now, their neigbour don't need to be told before they knew they have started again.
So, when they travelled to the wifes' village for a burial programme, he told the wife to prepared for two weeks.
After the burial which they went for, the husband now told her inlaws that they should help him re-trained his wife and when there is improvement they should called him.
As a woman is such treatment good?.
As a man can you do such?
If you are the inlaw how will you feel and what will you do?

This is just another mild method of divorcing her traditionally .

Bush couple!

kulyie: you are a clown

many guys this days need FATHERS.they need people to teach them how to behave like real men not like crude chauvenists or animals.smha lot of men have dysfunctional behaviours because they did not have any father figure that will mould them into behaving/acting like refine men who know how to treat a lady :/


as for the hissing,thats for your ass not me

dear feminist, is there a special way to treat a lady? isn't there gender equality??

Chillisauce:

This is just another mild method of divorcing her traditionally .

Bush couple!

Lol! That's it jare. This is the village people's version of separation!

OP,

the parents may have married her off to the man with the understanding that she is a housemaid.


So he returned her back when the maid did not behave as expected.

Na how you sell your pikin dem go price am.

This is for parents that dont respect themselves in front of inlaws. And admit anything in shorts or pants to marry their child as long as he has small change.

Tueh!

baby_123: OP,

the parents may have married her off to the man with the understanding that she is a housemaid.


So he returned her back when the maid did not behave as expected.

Na how you sell your pikin dem go price am.

This is for parents that dont respect themselves in front of inlaws. And admit anything in shorts or pants to marry their child as long as he has small change.

Tueh!

Another angle.I can't imagine some kind scenarios with some kind parents. Very razz and bush set up.

damiso:
Another angle.I can't imagine some kind scenarios with some kind parents. Very razz and bush set up.

Abi now. Some people equate financial contribution with self worth. If they showed this guy that they had self respect and did not need his money, which follows his ego closely, he will not have the mind to do such. Last last he will beg her mum to teach her how to behave or call her family to report her. If it doesnt work out, they decide on going their separate ways. Not go and dump her like apo garri at her parents door steps. The parents were probably bought, and sold their child to the highest bidder equating it with her worth. Any monkey these days can have money.

Women are not even considered as a form of life with a functioning brain in Nigeria. When the man wants to he can literally pick up the wife and tell her parents I am returning her like he is returning toilet paper that he has used. I can't imagine how someone could let someone do this to them

As usual, the man is being blamed by some folks here despite we understsnding from the post that the man has tried to settle things the way couples should and also not bringing it to a third party. This he endured for TWO YEARS . Yet, someone opens her mouth to call the husband uncivilized. We didn't even read that the man beat her up, yet, he is uncivilized. If he had beaten her up, he's a beast!!!! would have filled this thread.

Feraz: As usual, the man is being blamed by some folks here despite we understsnding from the post that the man has tried to settle things the way couples should and also not bringing it to a third party. This he endured for TWO YEARS . Yet, someone opens her mouth to call the husband uncivilized. We didn't even read that the man beat her up, yet, he is uncivilized. If he had beaten her up, he's a beast!!!! would have filled this thread.

Yes he is uncivilized. We can't call him a beast because I have never heard a beast returning their mate. So maybe we should not insult beasts. Telling someone that you are returning a human being is just so unintelligent to me. Stupid in fact. I don't even think slaves had return policy but in Nigeria wives do.