baby_123:

Abi now. Some people equate financial contribution with self worth. If they showed this guy that they had self respect and did not need his money, which follows his ego closely, he will not have the mind to do such. Last last he will beg her mum to teach her how to behave or call her family to report her. If it doesnt work out, they decide on going their separate ways. Not go and dump her like apo garri at her parents door steps. The parents were probably bought, and sold their child to the highest bidder equating it with her worth. Any monkey these days can have money.

Lol! @ apo garri

All these end of the stories sef

soul_glo:

Yes he is uncivilized. We can't call him a beast because I have never heard a beast returning their mate. So maybe we should not insult beasts. Telling someone that you are returning a human being is just so unintelligent to me. Stupid in fact. I don't even think slaves had return policy but in Nigeria wives do.

What would you have done since he's uncivilized assuming you have tried all forms of communication?

Feraz: As usual, the man is being blamed by some folks here despite we understsnding from the post that the man has tried to settle things the way couples should and also not bringing it to a third party. This he endured for TWO YEARS . Yet, someone opens her mouth to call the husband uncivilized. We didn't even read that the man beat her up, yet, he is uncivilized. If he had beaten her up, he's a beast!!!! would have filled this thread.

The issue is not returning her for retraining, it's the manner he did it.

Now the whole town knows, he will take her back abi?

Some people are desperately wicked and do not know what love is

Some women has been sent home to go and learn how to cook.
Ladies, pls train ur daughters well.
Its only talk talk we can talk but d damage has been done.
Bad mouth has never taken a woman any where. Bless the society we r in, cos a man with bad mouth can go free but a woman hardly. She will lose all angle.
Until ladies start paying dowry and marrying men, we r at disadvantage in some certain things and instead of finding ourselves in such scenerio, its better we learn and do the right thing.
No matter how civilized and sophisticated we r, there r things a woman must not lack.

bukatyne:

The issue is not returning her for retraining, it's the manner he did it.

Now the whole town knows, he will take her back abi?

Some people are desperately wicked and do not know what love is

Of course he will take her back.
When other ways didn't work, he decided to humble her this way.
Not to worry, her village kinsmen will teach her manners.

It is an old practice. The village elderly ladies will tutor her well. She might be fined too!
Uncultured gals.
U c their mouth running like tap water everywhere and they call it smartness or whatever. They never knew when to stop and respect themselves or their men.

Its an olden days custom and possibly the wife is not well educated.

The other option like I mentioned, is prayer.

yellowpawpaw:
Of course he will take her back.
When other ways didn't work, he decided to humble her this way.
Not to worry, her village kinsmen will teach her manners.

It is an old practice. The village elderly ladies will tutor her well. She might be fined too!
Uncultured gals.
U c their mouth running like tap water everywhere and they call it smartness or whatever. They never knew when to stop and respect themselves or their men.

I have no issue with sending her back; desperate times call for desperate measures ( if true)

My own is that there is no need for the public humilation. He disgraced his inlaws. A simple covet meeting with her family with him prostrating will be fine and he will even leave with their sympathy and gets his retrained wife and all is well.

The typical Nigerian marriage sounds worse than a maximum prison

The funny thiing is that if it was vice versa, posters would have been advising her on the best combo of pant and bra to wear.

Well, I don't really feel sorry for them; the same woman would probably beat her help black and blue for doing the same thing

tpia@:
Its an olden days custom and possibly the wife is not well educated.

The other option like I mentioned, is prayer.

yellowpawpaw:
Of course he will take her back.
When other ways didn't work, he decided to humble her this way.
Not to worry, her village kinsmen will teach her manners.

It is an old practice. The village elderly ladies will tutor her well. She might be fined too!
Uncultured gals.
U c their mouth running like tap water everywhere and they call it smartness or whatever. They never knew when to stop and respect themselves or their men.

shoot!
civilisation & feminism have achieved nowt in nigeria.

yellowpawpaw:
Of course he will take her back.
When other ways didn't work, he decided to humble her this way.
Not to worry, her village kinsmen will teach her manners.

It is an old practice. The village elderly ladies will tutor her well. She might be fined too!
Uncultured gals.
U c their mouth running like tap water everywhere and they call it smartness or whatever. They never knew when to stop and respect themselves or their men.

Thank you.

I am learning a lot from married people. So if I marry a Nigerian man can I send him back to his father to retrain him if I end up being stuck with all the financial responsibilities for a while? Obviously no one trained him as to what an African man is expected to do for his family. I should call my father in law and his brothers to come take him and not bring him back until he is ready to step up and be a man.

soul_glo: I am learning a lot from married people. So if I marry a Nigerian man can I send him back to his father to retrain him if I end up being stuck with all the financial responsibilities for a while? Obviously no one trained him as to what an African man is expected to do for his family. I should call my father in law and his brothers to come take him and not bring him back until he is ready to step up and be a man.

Rotfl!!

I can't help cracking up whenever I see this 're-training' word on this thread. Ah! My people!

ileobatojo:

Rotfl!!

I can't help cracking up whenever I see this 're-training' word on this thread. Ah! My people!

LOL. I know people that get offended if you suggest that their dogs need to go to dog school for further training.

soul_glo:

LOL. I know people that get offended if you suggest that their dogs need to go to dog school for further training.

Lmao! Dog school, wife school….all join.

Soul glo, if u r busy trying to argue the who, why and if in marriage, I will then say that u hv no reason getting married in d first place.
Let's stop all these we too know female bla bla bla and face fact and reallity.
We can write whatever we want to in an online forum but after reading that, lots of us will still go and do the needful.
Marriage is never a place for power tuzzle. Our culture and religion made it d way it is. The national assembly is a very good place to start d step of rewriting history if we want it so.
But since its yet a herculean task, a man rules d world, set d rules and that is how it is for now.
It will then be a story of once upon a time like in other countries.
Until we change d status quo which is very impossible for now, a little adjustment won't kill so as to hv a happy home else its better we stay off d institution called marriage.

soul_glo: I am learning a lot from married people. So if I marry a Nigerian man can I send him back to his father to retrain him if I end up being stuck with all the financial responsibilities for a while? Obviously no one trained him as to what an African man is expected to do for his family. I should call my father in law and his brothers to come take him and not bring him back until he is ready to step up and be a man.

Yes, you can do that if you prefer being single and not with any man.

yellowpawpaw: Soul glo, if u r busy trying to argue the who, why and if in marriage, I will then say that u hv no reason getting married in d first place.
Let's stop all these we too know female bla bla bla and face fact and reallity.
We can write whatever we want to in an online forum but after reading that, lots of us will still go and do the needful.
Marriage is never a place for power tuzzle. Our culture and religion made it d way it is. The national assembly is a very good place to start d step of rewriting history if we want it so.
But since its yet a herculean task, a man rules d world, set d rules and that is how it is for now.
It will then be a story of once upon a time like in other countries.
Until we change d status quo which is very impossible for now, a little adjustment won't kill so as to hv a happy home else its better we stay off d institution called marriage.

What power tussle? It is a power tussle to expect to be treated as a human being. Who would I be fighting with for this power? A man? He has his power and I have mine. I don't undermine his and he does not undermine mine. When I start to undermine mine I have no reason to whine when he undermines mine. I will hold on to my power and he can hold on to his. If my insisting on being treated as a human being hurts or bothers a man then that is my cue to keep moving. You are free to decide that you will live your life that way. I choose not to. I am not trying to be a man neither do I want a man that wants to be a woman. Being a woman means thinking for me as a woman. Deciding what I do as a woman. That is a man trying to be a woman.

tpia@:


Yes, you can do that if you prefer being single and not with any man.

Speak for the men in your life

you were the one asking questions, no need to catch feelings.


if your contempt for males wont allow you to live with them without drama, then you obviously would prefer to stay single, not so?

soul_glo:

What power tussle? It is a power tussle to expect to be treated as a human being. Who would I be fighting with for this power? A man? He has his power and I have mine. I don't undermine his and he does not undermine mine. When I start to undermine mine I have no reason to whine when he undermines mine. I will hold on to my power and he can hold on to his. If my insisting on being treated as a human being hurts or bothers a man then that is my cue to keep moving. You are free to decide that you will live your life that way. I choose not to. I am not trying to be a man neither do I want a man that wants to be a woman. Being a woman means thinking for me as a woman. Deciding what I do as a woman. That is a man trying to be a woman.

e don do, you dont need to use every opportunity you get to begin a power tussle.

stay away from males if you dont like them, or else find some panty washer to date [they are many on nl, most are wiling away time in romance section].

eod.

yellowpawpaw: Some women has been sent home to go and learn how to cook.
Ladies, pls train ur daughters well.
Its only talk talk we can talk but d damage has been done.
Bad mouth has never taken a woman any where. Bless the society we r in, cos a man with bad mouth can go free but a woman hardly. She will lose all angle.
Until ladies start paying dowry and marrying men, we r at disadvantage in some certain things and instead of finding ourselves in such scenerio, its better we learn and do the right thing.
No matter how civilized and sophisticated we r, there r things a woman must not lack.

one of the few sensible women on this thread

Btw, I think all these feminists disturbing nairaland are just keyboard warriors. It is their type that will kneel down before setting their husband's food on the table.

^^ Haha!

i tire.

some women here just put on boxing gloves anytime a topic involving males without mentioning breasts, cleavage and buttocks, comes up.

its like they cant relate to men in any manner unless humping is involved, after which its everybody out!

Hahahaha....

Tpia on point

@post
this is a throwback to the old days when women were chattel and really should have no place in this modern times
There is a customary dispute resolution process which the man should have followed that caters for the woman and the kids
If the inlaws decide to take him up and she marries someone else, is that his plan

Well.. this is the advantage of females being empowered in their own right

All said n written.wtf is all dis ruse abt packaged insult et al,make una take time here abi na wen she don beat heaven comot 4 her eye,sotey she dey hell on earth,na dat 1 go pay d in-laws n co,abeg he did d ryt thin he behaved in d rite manner...better late than Never.

Djtm: Btw, I think all these feminists disturbing nairaland are just keyboard warriors. It is their type that will kneel down before setting their husband's food on the table.

Hehehe....
Also add 'Nna-anyi'

yellowpawpaw:
Of course he will take her back.
When other ways didn't work, he decided to humble her this way.
Not to worry, her village kinsmen will teach her manners.

It is an old practice. The village elderly ladies will tutor her well. She might be fined too!
Uncultured gals.
U c their mouth running like tap water everywhere and they call it smartness or whatever. They never knew when to stop and respect themselves or their men.

all that you are saying is in the olden days.now women have NUMEROUS OPRTION,THANKS TO WOMEN EMPOWERMENT,ALBEIT ITS FOR WOMEN THAT CHOOSE TO USE THEIR COMMON SENSE.there are some women that want to collect the award of abokoku

Feraz: Hehehe....
Also add 'Nna-anyi'

what is 'nayi' i hear that word a lot from some ibo women.what does that mean.sorry for the way i spelt it.thats how i hear it pronounced

pickabeau1: Hahahaha....

Tpia on point

@post
this is a throwback to the old days when women were chattel and really should have no place in this modern times
There is a customary dispute resolution process which the man should have followed that caters for the woman and the kids
If the inlaws decide to take him up and she marries someone else, is that his plan

Well.. this is the advantage of females being empowered in their own right

exactly.its illiterate women that this nonsense always happen to.i doubt whether she has a stable job with a stable income.i hardly hear of educated and empowered girls go through this disgusting indignities.

Thats why i pity this girls that their parents will tell,go to school and be sneaking out of school to see their boyfriends.thinking they are outsmarting their parents.before 17,they don turn them to apere ajase with children they dont know who their father is and at 21,their parents just push them into any semi illiterate man to marry so she doesnt turn liability in their house.


Shiooorrrr.aseni shey ara e

Djtm: Btw, I think all these feminists disturbing nairaland are just keyboard warriors. It is their type that will kneel down before setting their husband's food on the table.

e.g?

When adding their names make sure you put SOURCE OF YOUR INFORMATION THERE.MAYBE YOU LIVED IN THEIR HOUSES,YOU STALKED THEM ETC FOR YOU TO COME UP WITH THAT CONCLUSION

No qualms as long as the hubby is ready to take her back.

Its called rehab.

During this period, she would miss her hubby and value him more.

Her mother will talk some senses into her brain... Like what do you do that makes him angry? Don't do..what do you do that makes him happy? Ok

Her mother will counsel her how to handle marital affairs in her matrimonial home, these are what you need to do to get the ball rolling in peace

So when she's back to her hubby, her senses will come back to her and her provoking attitude will decrease.

The man feels they need to talk some senses into her wifes brain since she doesn't want to listen to him which might result to violence and he's avoding it.