Dear nairalanders,I need your help.the history of my family is filled with traditional roman catholics.right from my grand father,all my uncles and aunts on my fathers side.infact one of my dad's brothers is a catholic priest.my parents wedded in a catholic church.but my father was not and still isn't a dedicated "church goer".because I remember back then when we're going to church,my dad stays back at home.but the problem now is that my mom quit the catholics and joined pentecostal.since then,all hell has been let loose.from accusations of infidelity to wanting to track her every move,even sometimes,locking the doors of the house so that she won't be able to go to church and even physical abuse on her whenever she returns from church,pouring water on her sunday clothes so she is not able to leave the house,lockin the door so that she won't come,into the house,among other things.I don seperate fight tire.and they still two younger children.please,I need your advice on what should be done.MODS,FRONT PAGE.PLEASE!!I need as much people to read and advise on what to do.

This is serious. Why did your mum quit going to Catholic church?
For peace to reign, she can combine the two
Attend Catholic on sundays and attend the penticostal church midweek fellowship.

I am a born Catholic and i love everything Catholic but am married to a non Catholic. He knows the only reason i attend his church is just for peace sake. I don't like the church one bit. I still say my Catholic prayers till date.

At first,she combined the two.and still did the whole "catholic stuff".but she said she has made her choice,and she has chosen pentecostal,because that is where she worships God to her full likening and can truly express herself spirtitually.that's not even the main issue as he insists she stop going totally.both midweek and sundays

Wetin church go cause ehe. Na wa o. Confussion everywhere.

cynhamscakes: This is serious. Why did your mum quit going to Catholic church?
For peace to reign, she can combine the two
Attend Catholic on sundays and attend the penticostal church midweek fellowship.

I am a born Catholic and i love everything Catholic but am married to a non Catholic. He knows the only reason i attend his church is just for peace sake. I don't like the church one bit. I still say my Catholic prayers till date.

"i dont like his church one bit" = i dont like the truth one bit

"i still say my catholic prayers till date" = i still worship my (catholic) idols till date.

Idol wrshp is hard to break, even wen ppl are shown the truth they may still PREFER a lie.
If you're catholic, and accept the christian bible as true, you'd see scriptures contradctg common catholic practices BUT YOU MAY STILL LOVE d lie and pagantry. Then you are on your own. God cant even help you because He will never force you to accept His word.

@op
your mum shud stck to her guns .
Call in her pastor to intervene and engage in prayer for her husband and marraige instead of tryng to fight back physcally. It is going to b hard on her but she shudnt harbor resentment or hate her hussy. You do d same and dnt insult daddy o!
In time she may win her husband over.
I know how i'd feel if the woman i married made a shrine in my house and started offering food to the image and bowing down to it!
I guess this how ur dad feels.

This christianity sef: islam attackg on one side, catholicism bacstabbing on other side, tithe bickerers and perversions and scandals taintng from within,
capitalist tryg to turn it into a business instead of carng for the Lord's sheep.

Tell ur mum to tell her unbendg husband to take his marraige and buzz off and she'll keep her God and peace of mind.
Its not by force to b married or bow 2 an idol.
She shud begin thinkg of packg out, shud sleep in a separate room (for her protection), and shud see a lawyer . Get an injunction against d physcal harrassment . Its not wen she's dead or maimed she'll begin thinkg straight.
You talk to her and strenghten her.

kambo:

"i dont like his church one bit" = i dont like the truth one bit

"i still say my catholic prayers till date" = i still worship my (catholic) idols till date.

Idol wrshp is hard to break, even wen ppl are shown the truth they may still PREFER a lie.
If you're catholic, and accept the christian bible as true, you'd see scriptures contradctg common catholic practices BUT YOU MAY STILL LOVE d lie and pagantry. Then you are on your own. God cant even help you because He will never force you to accept His word.

@op
your mum shud stck to her guns .
Call in her pastor to intervene and engage in prayer for her husband and marraige instead of tryng to fight back physcally. It is going to b hard on her but she shudnt harbor resentment or hate her hussy. You do d same and dnt insult daddy o!
In time she may win her husband over.
I know how i'd feel if the woman i married made a shrine in my house and started offering food to the image and bowing down to it!
I guess this how ur dad feels.

This christianity sef: islam attackg on one side, catholicism bacstabbing on other side, tithe bickerers and perversions and scandals taintng from within,
capitalist tryg to turn it into a business instead of carng for the Lord's sheep.

see this mumu

cynhamscakes: This is serious. Why did your mum quit going to Catholic church?
For peace to reign, she can combine the two
Attend Catholic on sundays and attend the penticostal church midweek fellowship.

I am a born Catholic and i love everything Catholic but am married to a non Catholic. He knows the only reason i attend his church is just for peace sake. I don't like the church one bit. I still say my Catholic prayers till date.

stop going in that church.

Call her pastor? Personally I don't think that will solve anything.I may even create more problems.

kooldheart: Call her pastor? Personally I don't think that will solve anything.I may even create more problems.

please if you love your mum do not follow that kambo ... Abeg .

Tell your mom to go back to her Catholic faith .pastor are worldwide known to destroy marriage

POPE II: see this mumu

see this fool who'd rather kiss a graven image.

Kambo,is divorce the final answer?I mean if it ends in divorce,what does the woman get out of the marriage in terms of financial settlement.

kambo:
see this fool who'd rather kiss a graven image.

Get lost heretic, see you asking a married woman to leave her marriage because of your business ventures .

kooldheart: Kambo,is divorce the final answer?I mean if it ends in divorce,what does the woman get out of the marriage in terms of financial settlement.

the wrath of God and the social stigma so I heard .

Moderator!! Frontpage na.I need more views from more poeple.

kooldheart: Call her pastor? Personally I don't think that will solve anything.I may even create more problems.

bros, theyre's no way to fester a problem than try to hide it and act like all is well. By the time the matter goes public it may b too late.
Already ur father is physcally abusg her and gettg bolder. At first it was anger and verbal threats now its outright bashg and u want to contain it? Ur mum wants to create d impression tht all is okay in her marraige? Wen she'll take a black eye about she'll lie out of love. Before thngs get out of hand let her check tht inconsiderate beast of a husband she married. (sorry i know his ur father but i gatta talk straight),
first her fear is tht she may lose her marraige.
Instead of cavg in to this fear she shud rather damn it.
It's God or ur marraige.
She'll never b happy cowing to fear and threats or wrshg those idols of catholicism.
Call in d police, get a court injunction, get a weapon for self defence, sleep separately and ask her pastor to intervene in prayers.
Ask neighbours to talk to the man.
Once this problem gets more public attention it will die faster.
If she wont do it you do it.

Pope 11,you mean God encourages us to stay in a marriage where we don't have freedom to worship him and express ourselves to him,even though we're being oppressed by the other spouse?

POPE II:
Get lost heretic, see you asking a married woman to leave her marriage because of your business ventures .

marraige over God? I guess u'll advce for marraige because fools like u derve their self esteem from social appraisal.
Just shattap and suck ur rosaries in silence.

kooldheart: Pope 11,you mean God encourages us to stay in a marriage where we don't have freedom to worship him and express ourselves to him,even though we're being oppressed by the other spouse?

All I can say is : Divorce is a sin , and as a Catholic my church does not grant divorces
Also she can worship God in the Catholic church, your dad is wise , your mum is going to b defrauded in those Pentecostal business ventures. They will suck her dry and take the hard earned money of the family. She will become unstable and see ghosts everywhere , do I need to mention the late in the night barking sessions ? Why does she want to Break your family traditions? Don't you find it suspicious ? She's probably been hypnotized by those crooks parading as men of God .

Kambo,from your post I conclude that you're exposed to how its done in europe.you have to consider that this is africa,and we have a different way of doing things.I agree with most of your points and partially get what your trying to put through.they both have different bedrooms n all,buh ma guy to get "weapon of self defence"?she will just use it one day out of anger.

kambo:
marraige over God? I guess u'll advce for marraige because fools like u derve their self esteem from social appraisal.
Just shattap and suck ur rosaries in silence.

back off Satan .

kooldheart:
Kambo,is divorce the final answer?I mean if it ends in divorce,what does the woman get out of the marriage in terms of financial settlement.

first, if she makes it legal and goes to litigation (assumg she can afford it.), her husband wud hav more on his hands than he can cope with, your father isnt hoping things will escalate to that level,
a strong case against wife battery alone cud see him at risk of some significant amounts then a divorce proceeding cud see your mum with some compensation and rights ,like rights to visit or custody of some of her children.
Finally, she'll b emboldened in a way tht will command mor respect from her husband and make her respect herself more simply because she didnt take d cowards route - submit to her husbands threats to wrshp a false god, stomaching and therefore encouraging inhumane treatments.
First she shud make this issue public,bring in outsiders. Get a court injunction.
The court issue is a last resort.

kooldheart: Kambo,from your post I conclude that you're exposed to how its done in europe.you have to consider that this is africa,and we have a different way of doing things.I agree with most of your points and partially get what your trying to put through.they both have different bedrooms n all,buh ma guy to get "weapon of self defence"?she will just use it one day out of anger.

i understand ur fear but i'm just being practcal.
I mean a blunt weapon, something she keeps handy in her bedroom etc as a safegaurd against suprise flash attacks!
She shud also lock her room securely wen she's inside or asleep at night.
I dont mean gun or dagger but something for defence, like a club,that can knock him out cold wen gets irate or or ideally a stunner but she'll hav to import tht (and it maybe impossible or too much of a hassle for her)
A stunner would shock and immobilise him but not permanently hurt him.

Wow this kambo is asking you to tell your mum how to beat or kill your dad may God help us all

Yes,I agree that court is a last resort,and from most indication,that's what it might be.but u know court cases don't come cheap and she might find it hard getting that kind of money as she is just a civil servant,and my dad controls all of the proceeds from the business.also am still aganist bringing people in to settle the matter,as most of these "elders"have the same,if not worst problems in their homes.imagine someone saying that my mom should do whatever my dad says because he is the man.this came from "an elder".would this be considered a real solution from an elder?

POPE II: Wow this kambo is asking you to tell your mum how to beat or kill your dad may God help us all

ur a pope of foolishness. Here u go sensationalising and distortg facts.
I cud imagine d headline u cud conjure if u were a journalist.

Are you sure that man is your dad or you are a bastard?

kooldheart: Yes,I agree that court is a last resort,and from most indication,that's what it might be.but u know court cases don't come cheap and she might find it hard getting that kind of money as she is just a civil servant,and my dad controls all of the proceeds from the business.also am still aganist bringing people in to settle the matter,as most of these "elders"have the same,if not worst problems in their homes.imagine someone saying that my mom should do whatever my dad says because he is the man.this came from "an elder".would this be considered a real solution from an elder?

in marraiges financial weakness of d woman, whch is often the case gives the man all kind of power. And most men want/desire to keep things this way so tht they can control the woman.
One thing i know for sure, is drastc moves require drastic measures.
The people i want her to invite ar d more broad minded types who are sympathetic and respectful of women.
If ur father believes or reads the bible the passage about how husbands shud treat the wives shud b brought up to caution him.
But it sometimes reaches a stage where one party simply doesnt want to amend then you stop dialoguing and apply severe measures.
One is ur mothr irrefutably committed to renouncg catholicism?
If not, theres no point discussg further because a double minded person is unstable. But if her stand is final, then its clear.she will never adopt catholicism and her husband is tryg to force her.
If your dad is also not going to let her b then the solution is an unpleasant resolution.
Y i advocate outside parties are these.
She will announce her stand b4 them and her husband will announce his stand b4 them.
The next line of action is wat to do after wards. She can invite her pastors and your fathers catholics priest,its not a time to try to persuade each other to change religions etc but so tht her stand can b made public in a respectful manner.
Next, legal instruments like an injunction against violence and battery cud check ur father . Finally a separation and an injunction to allow her stay until she can conveniently leave her husband can b worked out.
Note tht your mum doesnt want a divorce or separation, she wud hav conveniently attend her church and your dad wudve been the catholic he is and thyd still continue lovg each other as husband and wife its very workable and the bible says how to handle such situations but because her husband is threateng her life are these safegaurds necessary.

Confusion in the house of Jesus and court of Jehovah

macof: Confusion in the house of Jesus and court of Jehovah

trouble in a marraige.
The bible view on husband-wife relationships is clear on d issue.

The wise African woman knows that it's a man's world down here. This woman should thread with caution. If the husband is this aggressive because of her joining that new church, it could be that he has seen something she is not seeing. That Pastor will wreck her marriage. I will advise she joins the catholic charismatic if it's vibrant worship she desires. Dear ops, do not listen to the likes of Kambo who is advising your own mother to carry assault weapons against her own husband. I bet you that the kind of advise she will get from the new pastor and members.

Please let her back down. If that marriage breaks due to her own foolishness, she will only have herself to blame.