My brother, wife her

Need help here

www.nairaland.com/1573087/please-friend-need-gurus-house

okay

Destiny27: I decided to post this in family section because I know there are a lot of people with mature minds and experiences especially married folks.

I recently came across an old schoolmate in primary school whom I had a crush on then. I was such a good boy then so wasn't into all that. Few months ago, we started communicating. She is in another state working. Since then we have gotten so close.

She came down to the town I stay enroute her village and we spent a few days together. We realised we are in love with each other. When she left, I felt an emptiness and she too has been missing me.

I'm in my early 30's and ready for marriage. I will love to marry her but my only problem is that she is my age mate.

Please, is there any problem in getting married to your age mate?

Some people feel its not right because
1) She may not be loyal and submissive
2) By the time she drops two kids, she will look quite older than me

I haven't told her anything about marriage. Would want to clear some grounds first and then take some months to know her more before letting my intentions known fully well.

Please, what do you feel about this? I need mature advice on this. I'm at crossroads now and will appreciate your input.

Thanks

Guy please don't dull. Marry the woman and stop pussyfooting, I contend that in to day's world you can always keep urself looking younger by simply exercising.

The question remains.... Do u Love her?? If yes whats d biggie abt age...

Just av gud control in ur account n take care of her not to look too old for U

and lastly in my own words
''Age is just a counting number''

age no be barrrier o...

@OP:

Your wife will age according to how you use/stress her

Pamper and take care of her, she will look sweet sixteen for you

ah tink say Na only me Na



























abeg make una help me n OP
buh d fact is dt she will b more wiser n developed dn u....may own de show me fire.she always wants to b d man.hope urs dnt do dt?

@ OP: There are always people who lack discretion about. You seem to be worried about appearances: that she'll age faster she's she's your mate. That should be her worry not yours because it's a fact that men tend to age faster than ladies, few men are exceptions to this. I'll urge you to consider more important things like her character, $€xual compatibility (no $€x compulsory just talk over it), religious views, her goals in life, career/business (if she's in one) etc. I am guessing she's pretty since you crushed on her. Best of luck.

ireneidiva: It depends on the lady. Is she humble and polite? How does she talk to you? Does she listen to you? About looking older after childbirth, does she have a healthy lifestyle of working out and eating right? Does she wear neat clothes? Is her hair always untidy? Your answers to these will help you.

unfortunately irene i wud just gladly teach her all dose stuff ''HUMAN are Dynamic'' meaning we av d tendency to change habits..

OP, go 4 her if u love her, there is nothing wrong in it. Even Lola Is older than Peter okoye

wel it is cool bt i prefer my huby 2 b my elder so dt i can gt d full petin. u kno

Age mate? just think about the future, think of when both of u are 70s then she would look like 80.her sexual drive will also drop then u are still active

lomaxx:

Once you begin to go romantic on a lady, even if she's 10 years your junior, she don dey see you like age-mate.

If you love her, wife her.

no two ways bro....she's actually 10 years younger.......with the brain of a 35yr dude.... wetin man go do?.....reminds me of class gist in those days.....like this: oboy, any babe for this class nor be ur mate o.......working class dudes don hook them up.....go a fishing in 100 level... lol

Picture of her or its just fiction

usermane: When it comes to this issue of LOVE, am kind of new, but atleast i can contribute for fellow 's benefit.

To fall for an age-mate, you must be the type of guy who apart from love and support, want nothing else from a partner. You don't expect a wife of your age to worship you or submit to you like a wife of ten years younger. Mutual respect for each other is the ideal requirement for both partners. Once you desire nothing more than love, commitment and appreciation from her and she is willing to deliver, you 'll be fine. Just endeavor to reciprocate too.

On the darker side, if you desire a malleable or submissive wife who will shut up and let you be the dictator like most traditional men, then stay away from her Mr. OP. It is clear you two are incompatible, as i believe only a lady who want a modern, tolerant and negotiating partner will marry her age-mate.

cool
did you say you're new??
na lie u b graduate joor

usermane: When it comes to this issue of LOVE, am kind of new, but atleast i can contribute for fellow 's benefit.

To fall for an age-mate, you must be the type of guy who apart from love and support, want nothing else from a partner. You don't expect a wife of your age to worship you or submit to you like a wife of ten years younger. Mutual respect for each other is the ideal requirement for both partners. Once you desire nothing more than love, commitment and appreciation from her and she is willing to deliver, you 'll be fine. Just endeavor to reciprocate too.

On the darker side, if you desire a malleable or submissive wife who will shut up and let you be the dictator like most traditional men, then stay away from her Mr. OP. It is clear you two are incompatible, as i believe only a lady who want a modern, tolerant and negotiating partner will marry her age-mate.

cool
did you say you're new??
na lie u b graduate joor

I believe age is just a number on one's birth certificate. It doesn't really matter. What really matters is understanding.

ireneidiva: It depends on the lady. Is she humble and polite? How does she talk to you? Does she listen to you? About looking older after childbirth, does she have a healthy lifestyle of working out and eating right? Does she wear neat clothes? Is her hair always untidy? Your answers to these will help you.

Happy Christmas

@ op
There is nothing wrong in getting married to your age mate. Age ain't nothing but a number. It becomes whatever you make of it. Love, understanding and the grace of God is all you need in a marriage. I know of a couple that are close to my family, the wife is older than the husband by 3months but unless they tell you, one will never suspect. The wife is slim and looks way younger than the husband. The husband is taller and abit on the fleshy side. They both love each other and respect one another.
Pray to God for direction and follow your heart. No matter how much advise people give to you, you are the only one going into the union with the woman, nairalanders no go follow go there oooo! Lay your foundation with love and mutual respect and leave the rest in God's hand. All the best.

love is the core need for marriage

lomaxx: There's no issue settling down with your age-mate, other factors being constant.

Once you begin to go romantic on a lady, even if she's 10 years your junior, she don dey see you like age-mate.

If you love her, wife her.

no wonder the 16 yrs old boy I am dating now is seeing me as his mate and is already talking of marrying me

i think it depends on when the balance of you boths testosterone and oestrogen levels are about the same, and in my opinion, this is the mid-thirties

if u truely love her and she loves u in return den u guys can go ahead,remain positive about d whole issue u listed cos age does not guarantee weda one gets old quick in marriage but hw well u take gud care of ur wife to fit ur taste and concerning her loyalty and submissiveness,u av to learn dat from ur dating together and try to win her respect and u also reciprocate it den all will be well...eager to c d IV for all nairalanders...

Ennyhollar: There is noting bad on it, but wat is there is that u should not let her now ur really age, So she can give more respect to ur siblings.

You mean he should lie about his age to the woman he want to get married to? Where has your brain gone to? At what point would he then disclose his age to his wife? Don't forget that he would want to celebrate his birthday with family members who knows his real age.

Age is nothing. It only becomes an issue when the woman is one conscious of her age.

Try to figure out her dealings with others, if she's one that tends to be bossy, in-charge, not comfortable relating casually with younger friends then she MIGHT have the tendency to be 'less submissive'.
There are older women who will happily hand over the wheel of power to the younger partner and younger women who want to wield the stick of power.

It's not an age thing, but a personality trait. Since you're worried about SUBMISSION, don't marry a CHOLERIC!

About the looking older thing, if you take care of your wife she'll keep her good looks! Good looks na man dey fund am!!!

No NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!

Vallotti: As a female. . . I HAVE NEVER MET ANY MALE MY AGE MATE THAT IS AS A DEVELOPMENTAL/COGNITIVE EQUAL.
They tend to act 10 or 20 YEARS IN THE DEFICIENCY column emotionally and spirtually-speaking. To put it directly. . . THEY ACT LIKE IJJJIOTS!

As I get older. . . THE GAP WIDENS. . . .
Sooooooooooooooooo I would have to say NO!
It would not work for me. I NEED A 10 YEAR GAP!!!! So, I CAN HAVE SOME TIME AND PATIENCE WITH HIS AZZZZZZZZZZZE THAT REFUSES TO GROW UP!!!

I need a man. . . not a boy!

SHE WILL OUTGROW YOU IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. . . .AND LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER IF SHE AGES LIKE MOST NIGERIAN OR NAIRALAND WOMEN!!!!

Age does not usually correlate with maturity. . . BUT IN MY DEALINGS WITH NIGERIAN MAN. . . .

THE BIGGER THE SHOE SIZE. . . THE SMALLER THE BRAIN!

OP. . . goodluck!

Chauvinist!!!!! U really need to grow up

Ennyhollar: There is noting bad on it, but wat is there is that u should not let her now ur really age, So she can give more respect to ur siblings.

don't base the foundation of ur marriage on lies. Let her know your real age!

Age doesnt mata wen it cums 2 isues of d @...so long as u bth undastnd,luv n respect each oda..dts all dt matas...

..

I think the thin line that should determine ur "marital FATE" is whether she has thru ur little interaction with her shown submissiveness to u or as she tended to make u undertsand either directly or indirectly that u are agemates and as such u should not expect much from her. If to her best ability she has proved those above cardinal points wrong then u should wife....
All u need do is to take an investigative study into her perspective towards the concept of "age in a marriage" if it is satisfactory then wife her.......

Thank u

Chinwem: If a thread had to be opened to debate her age and 'marriageability'......(lol, if that's a word)
Then maybe you should just leave her for a real another man
A man who sees what he wants and goes for it


Love conquers all doesn't mean anything again
I think it should be 'age conquers all' or 'money conquers all' in Naija