This may sound harsh but @op abeg send her back to her parents pending when you change your mind, thats if you ever do..

This is now beyond the virginity ish.. Its now about trust, I wonder how you can be able to trust a woman who lied with such a thing and did not feel the urge to tell you the truth and went ahead to marry you, still keeping this big secret.

Your so called 'wife' is wicked.. Yes,Only wicked people do that..

She is now ur wife so there's nothing you can do about it.

She is just heartless! What kind of rubbish is that.

Why can't she tell u the truth, so many stuffs might be running thru ur mind now and she doesn't know what she has done because everytime u remember u wld be angry at her

Well her behaviour is the most important! Virginity is over rated and its not automatic ticket been a better wife.

Since its the case don't bother ursef about it, its the past and work on the future and make the marriage work.

lorretta u: Happy married life

Maybe she said that to you to avoid any sexual relationship with you during courtship. There's something called secondary virginity you know. Like you have sex before and then realize your sin repent and decide to zip up until you're married. Maybe that's what she did.

Well honestly she no try. She woulda told u the honest truth. That she wanted to wait until marriage before sex. But I guess she thought u wouldn't have wanted to wait.
And I'm sorry if u married her for virginity. Too bad for you. For better or worse.

Or if the virginity is so important to you. Divorce is an option. Let's say the marriage is null and void because the conditions under which you contracted the marriage are non-existent.


Virgin hunting things for you all over again. Accept my sympathy.

This isn't virgin hunting matter miss. Its parts of normal question men ask at the beginning of relationships especially when the lady refuses srx. 3 years is too much nah. She's your wife already, accept your fate @op. Just be sure she's isn't los.e

I think I know the girl.
Sorry dude...

Where is ur own virginity?

If the condition of the hole is still tight , I guess you can forgive and try to forget .
I believe this should be the time to go for womb check , STDs test etc

Mondisweets: Where is ur own virginity?

There's no refrence point nor determining factor

ITbomb: If the condition of the hole is still tight , I guess you can forgive and try to forget .
I believe this should be the time to go for womb check , STDs test etc

The problem is the lie and not virginity.

lrguru: OP, u are really a first class Okpetu....(sorry). U just got played

I am very sure there are still alot of things u do not know about her, like the kinda lifestyle she was livin even while with u (she could have a guy nackin her, why claimin u are 'for keeps' a.k.a the husband material),

And hope she didn't come into ur house with another man's child (as in few weeks old pregnancy)?

That kinda lady can keep secrets forever, u just gat to be careful.

I am against divorce, but bro she messedd up big time, but u just have to forgive her and live with it bro.

First reasonable comment since I open this tread

@op, what does she said that took off her virginity?

At least she should respect you by giving you a genuine reason instead of just 'sorry'.

passionate88: you too follow tell her sorry then end d marriage. Woman wey get mind do somethin like that fit kill you o. Warranty is invalid if seal is broken or tampered with

---

mayorall:



This isn't virgin hunting matter miss Madam.

corrected

Hmmmmm, eleyi gidigan

lorretta u: corrected

Alright ma.

lorretta u: corrected

Alright ma.

Somebody who lies about something as crucial as virginity status for as long as 3 years can lie about anything with ease. The way she even apologized speaks for itself.

AdannayaBella: Somebody who lies about something as crucial as virginity status for as long as 3 years can lie about anything with ease. The way she even apologized speaks for itself.

I dont see virginity as crucial when love is involve(although it has it's advantages)i see it as trivial,so if she can lie abt such a thing is she to be trusted?When she gets pregnant and she tells him does she expect him to believe he is the father without any doubt?
Somethings we hide from our partners when we start a relationship with the fear of loosing the person goes a long way to affect us.Open up and if he thinks it's too much and he cannt handle it let him walk away.Trust is very essential in every relationship and once you do something to destroy it,just walk away.

lorretta u: Happy married life

Maybe she said that to you to avoid any sexual relationship with you during courtship. There's something called secondary virginity you know. Like you have sex before and then realize your sin repent and decide to zip up until you're married. Maybe that's what she did.

Well honestly she no try. She woulda told u the honest truth. That she wanted to wait until marriage before sex. But I guess she thought u wouldn't have wanted to wait.
And I'm sorry if u married her for virginity. Too bad for you. For better or worse.

Or if the virginity is so important to you. Divorce is an option. Let's say the marriage is null and void because the conditions under which you contracted the marriage are non-existent.


Virgin hunting things for you all over again. Accept my sympathy.

No be only secondary virginity na university virginity. Smh.. Rubbish.

There is nothing like secondary virginity. When a girl has been disvirgined, she's no longer a virgin both physically and pshycologically. The secondary/university virginity is just a wicked lie that girls like you and the OP's wife are hoping to use to deceive people.

Secondary virginity isn't for ladies alone. Guys practise it too. It has another name CELIBACY.for people who might have decided not to continue in the path of fornication.

I didn't lay claim to being any type of virgin. Primary, secondary or otherwise. Why are you attacking me?

Happy new year to you though. God's blessings headed your way.

numerical_guy:

No be only secondary virginity na university virginity. Smh.. Rubbish.

There is nothing like secondary virginity. When a girl has been disvirgined, she's no longer a virgin both physically and pshycologically. The secondary/university virginity is just a wicked lie that girls like you and the OP's wife are hoping to use to deceive people.

mayorall:


Alright ma.

You have got to divorce her ASAP.

Y lie over such a small ish (to me) in d 1st place? I doubt if I can ever trust such psn again. Most guys just ask that virginity question when d girl insists on no sex. If u tell d truth and he doesn't want u cos of ur disvirgined status, den fine.

Remember; if u tell d truth, u don't fear and don't hv to remember what u said. But if u tell a lie inorder not to hurt someone, u end up hurting dem wen dey find out d truth; which in most cases is innevitable.

lorretta u: Secondary virginity isn't for ladies alone. Guys practise it too. It has another name CELIBACY.for people who might have decided not to continue in the path of fornication.

I didn't lay claim to being any type of virgin. Primary, secondary or otherwise. Why are you attacking me?

Happy new year to you though. God's blessings headed your way.

I'm sorry if my post sounded like an attack to you, I didn't mean it.
The point I was tryin to make is this, imagine all those heavy runs girls that have probably done several abortions and even battled STDs will now come and claim secodary or tiertiary virginity just because she has been CELIBATE in the last six months. It doesn't really work like that.

For her to lie about her virginity for three years then she can lie for africa!!!

But on a serious note what the lady did was very wrong why did she lie to you concerning the issue for three good years?but also I think some guys need to be blamed too,the way some guys carry virginity matter for head is too much,imagine some guys will even quit a relationship with a girl because she is not a virgin and that is why some girls these days are even afraid to tell a guy that they are not virgin because of the fear that the guy might quit the relationship,the question I ask guys that do such is that are you marrying her or dating her because of virginity or because of love?and the fact is because u married a lady as a virgin does not mean she will be a good wife that is the mistake many men do make they think once they met a girl as a virgin they tend to believe that for her to be a virgin then that means she will be a good wife material but after they got married to the person they discover that they were on a long thing!!!!
The bottom line is virginity is not what really determines a good wife!!!!

LEAVESTORY IS AN IRONY.

Caveat Emptor!!

Any girl that lies about her virginity can give birth to babies that are not yours.

jmoore: Caveat Emptor!!

Any girl that lies about her virginity can give birth to babies that are not yours.

very true!!!

I don't know even why some ladies still lie about their virginity,a guy that will love u will love you !!!so its not a matter of whether u are a virgin or not.

jmoore: Caveat Emptor!!

Any girl that lies about her virginity can give birth to babies that are not yours.

talking from experince or u are just high?

Haba loretta!...calling it celibacy is wiser than the secondary virginity thing which makes it seem as if you're trying hard to justify her condemnable act.

OP is just so unforttunate but I blame him so much for this..how can itt not come across your mind to test at least few weeks before the wedding?...if she dissagrees then let her walk

Mondisweets: talking from experince or u are just high?

I find no pleasure in being intoxicated. What I wrote is very obvious.

Mondisweets: talking from experince or u are just high?

The thruth is always bitter but like it or not..such woman can kill the man as well as getting pregnant for another man
Imagine she's been lieing to OP for 3yrs while some other dudes are banging her..what more can she not do
Don't be surprised that she may have sex with one of her boyfriends the day before the wedding

Lordmayorz: My long time girl friend and i eventually got married on the 21st of this month. To be candid,that day was d happiest day of my life. But the happiness was converted to a state of acrimony and topsy-turvy when we balanced the equation that night and i discovered she was not a virgin. I courted her for almost 3 years and i did not have any form of sexual activity with her because she told me dat she was a virgin. I believed her because i thought she was telling me the truth. What infuriated me the most was the simple sorry she said to me after i discovered her real state. Pls i need u guys advise cos i'm confused....thanks in anticipation

She was wrong to have lied to you because a marital foundation built on lies cannot last. That said, are you a virgin? If you are not, then find it in your heart to forgive her no matter how difficult that may be. Secondly, if she had not told you she is a virgin, would you have gone ahead and fornicated with her for 3 years? I hope you know that God created sex for married folks only and not for people who are courting/dating? This is why so many people have lost interest in relationships because they have become so ungodly. People are hardly willing to date the Godly way nowadays without defiling their bodies. No one owes you any sex if you are not their legal spouse be the person a virgin or not.