mesmya:

sorry to say this but your man is a little bit imature

a man that will leave his house for this little misunderstanding is not supposed to be called a husband

fa fa fa foul.
let her tell us just 2 of the nasty text messages she sent first then we can crucify our brother.

Ruby_Pearl:

I will not apologize if the mistake is on his side, I need not apologize.
And I'll def not ignore him. . . . I just learned that a few days or weeks back.

you better do so.  

David lets call a spade a spade abeg,u guys should stop supporting the man and stop blaming d woman,nobody is perfect,so just because of this small thing he's left his home,his wife and step kids all by themselves?what happens if he suspects her wt another man?he will kill her i guess

debosky:

likely inaccurate - you are only hearing sistawoman's side of the story. . . .only God knows what she said in the nasty voicemails and texts she sent. . . . . now thinking that softer messages will erase the hurt. The truth is that, its always more difficult to quench a fire when you start it and fuel it.

Her messages cant be used as an excuse debo. Did you read WHY she sent those voicemails and emails? Taking her mode of transportation AWAY so he can sulk like a child? If he's mad at his wife, FINE but why take it out on the children? is it cos they're not his?

an angry girlfriend is not a small thing how much more a wife.

KarmaMod:

Lol that's how those "Anambra Yorubas" do.

Sista, I am begging you. Before you go crazy, FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

He's "angry" about you lying about not babyig yiur kids. He told you he's Yoruba and from Anambra. Abegi. Something is UP

OSANOBUA!
na dat one catch my eye.
He's Ijebu Igbo

What a surprise that you convinently ignored this part, David

The nasty voicemail and text messages this morning was me flying off the cuff at him because i woke up to him not being home and the truck gone. He left me a text message that he took the truck. Not only did he take the truck but he went in my dam purse took my keys to the truck and took off.
He did not leave the money for my driver this morning.
And if my son missed the bus I would have had no way to get him to school.

@ Karma

its not an excuse, but when you FEED a negative cycle, it gets stronger and more decidedly negative

if they are both hot headed in this situation it will only get WORSE, thats all I'm trying to point out.

No one is supporting the man, for one, we have not heard his side of the story. Secondly, sistawoman is our friend, if we see wrong in her actions, why not point it out.

I am not in support of the man staying out of his home for this long over a minor dispute, but it is a woman's glory to know how to calm her man down and vice versa. But if its all a case of being adversarial, then there is no point, no one wins.

sistawoman:

i tried not to call again but just did.

he picked the call this time but would not speak to me.  I just spoke into a silent phone and asked that he please break the silence with me, come home and allow us to work this out.  I reminded him of our wedding day and i could hear him crying.  I apoligized for the nasty voicemails and texts and lying to him and not trusting that he could understand the truth.

I love him with all my heart and I am hoping and praying that God softens his heart long enough for him to come home.  At least let me lay eyes on him this day before i close mine.

I miss my husband and I love him so much.  I can't believe this is happening to me.

at last.i'm glad peace is now on the horizon.i'm happy for you.
take a lesson from this incident.at least you are able to understand a few more things about him.
it seems you have a slightly immature "cry baby" on your hands though.

davidylan:

you better do so.

Sure now, just keep waiting for it.
As long as no one is ignoring the other

debosky:

@ Karma

its not an excuse, but when you FEED a negative cycle, it gets stronger and more decidedly negative

if they are both hot headed in this situation it will only get WORSE, thats all I'm trying to point out.

No one is supporting the man, for one, we have not heard his side of the story. Secondly, sistawoman is our friend, if we see wrong in her actions, why not point it out.

I am not in support of the man staying out of his home for this long over a minor dispute, but it is a woman's glory to know how to calm her man down and vice versa. But if its all a case of being adversarial, then there is no point, no one wins.

we all know dat,but wat if d man does not want to calm down?wat if hes looking for an excuse to pick up a quarell?even if she offended him,atleast for d sake of d kids ,he should go back home,a woman and child feels secure and safe wen there is a daddy at home

KarmaMod:

Lol that's how those "Anambra Yorubas" do.

Sista, I am begging you. Before you go crazy, FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

He's "angry" about you lying about not babyig yiur kids. He told you he's Yoruba and from Anambra. Abegi. Something is UP

Rotflmao!!
The "I'm yoruba from Anambra" got me cracking up. lol

Sorry, but there is sth fishy going on.

debosky:

@ Karma

its not an excuse, but when you FEED a negative cycle, it gets stronger and more decidedly negative

if they are both hot headed in this situation it will only get WORSE, thats all I'm trying to point out.

No one is supporting the man, for one, we have not heard his side of the story. Secondly, sistawoman is our friend, if we see wrong in her actions, why not point it out.

I am not in support of the man staying out of his home for this long over a minor dispute, but it is a woman's glory to know how to calm her man down and vice versa. But if its all a case of being adversarial, then there is no point, no one wins.

Ive no problem pointing out where she was wrong. Like I said from the beginning, it's not the fact that she's sarcastic, it's the fact that the sarcasm was used in the midst of a "serious discussion" although apparently he's been just as sarcastic with her in regards to the same thing. I still think they should tak things out but the dude is acting like a female now, taking it too far.

and I still want her to get to the bottom of this Anambra Yoruba thing. It's making me uneasy.

KarmaMod:

What a surprise that you convinently ignored this part, David

didnt ignore it but what difference does it make? Lets be frank, the worst mistake a wife can make is assume she can "punish" her husband's mistakes by being rude, nasty and stubborn. It only makes things worse and gives him a valid excuse to stay away.

sistawoman has no excuse, yes the man is an ass but she's the wife . . . do the right thing and go apologize. The fellow probably never witnessed his mother ever question his father and here is a wife who feels strong enough to send him nasty texts? Pele o.

now wait a minute,did d guy say hes a yoruba from anambra state?

mesmya:

now wait a minute,did d guy say hes a yoruba from anambra state?

That's what she told us that he told her

So in other words David, you support his behavior. Let my wife and kids suffer while I walk off with our car to go and sulk elsewhere. To hell with how they manage without my presence.

Good to know.

mesmya. He claims to be Yoruba o from Anambra state.

Ruby_Pearl:

That's what she told us that  he told her

if its true then ,im sorry to say dis ,but sistawoman has been deceived i no dey hide my mouth

He is from Akure

davidylan:

didnt ignore it but what difference does it make? Lets be frank, the worst mistake a wife can make is assume she can "punish" her husband's mistakes by being rude, nasty and stubborn. It only makes things worse and gives him a valid excuse to stay away.

sistawoman has no excuse, yes the man is an ass but she's the wife . . . do the right thing and go apologize. The fellow probably never witnessed his mother ever question his father and here is a wife who feels strong enough to send him nasty texts? Pele o.

But she's the wife. ok, so?
Does that give him the right to treat her like that?
I'm saying she need not apologise. . . .but she can still communicate with him.

is he from akure or anambra akure?

Oh. You mean Akure, the capital of Anambra! I get it npow!

sista, can you tell me where you are getting this info from? HiM or some documents?

I said it!!!

Akure - Ondo/Ekiti axis, their stubbornness is legendary

KarmaMod:

So in other words David, you support his behavior. Let my wife and kids suffer while I walk off with our car to go and sulk elsewhere. To hell with how they manage without my presence.

Good to know.

u're getting me wrong. I dont support a man leaving his home under a circumstance. I'm only refusing to see only one side of the coin. Its easy to blame the man for leaving home . . . well why is the woman not making that home conducive enough for him to enjoy being there?

Dont forget, all we have access to is sistawoman's side of the story. Do we know what else goes on behind the scene? Is this the first time this has happened? Is the man happy being around his wife and "step"-kids? How are we sure that the problem isnt sistawoman herself? Abeg enough of sobbing on behalf of someone who could even be lying to us for all we know. If she lied to her husband so effortlessly is it us she'll be honest with?

debosky:

I said it!!!

Akure - Ondo/Ekiti axis, their stubbornness is legendary

sharrap there!!

Ruby_Pearl:

But she's the wife. ok, so?
Does that give him the right to treat her like that?
I'm saying she need not apologise. . . .but she can still communicate with him.

cut long story short - she had better apologize sharp sharp unless she wants to see a divorce lawyer very soon. Women and their unecessary shakara.

sistawoman is ur hubby from akure,or anambra akure

topup:

This sounds like the case of anger and resentment that has been building up for a long time, and the sarcastic comment was a channel for it to be unleashed, if this situation was independent of any previous arguments or points, I'm sure you two would have made up by now.

I think he is being immature, but we don't know what he is thinking, the best person to judge that is you and only you.

I believe someone has to 'give in', I guess the person who wants the argument to end the most. This could also be an issue of pride, it's unfortunate that he's not even in the house to be talked to or his cell is off.

I think the only thing is to wait for him to come round and to suck in your pride when he finally decides to talk to you. You don't want an explosion after all.

Stay strong. God Bless.

biko you get sense!

davidylan:

cut long story short - she had better apologize sharp sharp unless she wants to see a divorce lawyer very soon. Women and their unecessary shakara.

Cut the story shorter, you're being unfair.
Divorce lawyer for not apologising for his immaturity? hmmm hmmmmmmmmm

mesmya:

sistawoman is your hubby from akure,or anambra akure

Anambra akure na

mesmya:

sistawoman is your hubby from akure,or anambra akure

Please ignore everything else except this question

If indeed he/documents say Akure. What STATE is that?

onyinye2:

If it is one thing i know. . . . and that is not be sarcastic with some people. With my girlfriends or my personal guy friends. . . oka im very sarcastic. In fact i do it without thinking. But with people such as my father or people of his genre. . . . i don't even show that side. I did it once and learned my lesson. Because even though my dad is the most sarcastic person in the world. . . . you never give him a taste of his own medicine.

So sista. . . . you betta suck up some of that pride and apologize. i know it is hard because i most definately wouldn't apologize, or atleast be the first one. I would probably have an attitude about it. Actually i would most definately have an attitude about it. So yeah i would come off "sincere", and leave the attitude. Because it would add insult to injury.

Oyinye2, everyone knows we shouldn't be sarcastic with our fathers, what kind of children would we be? However this is Sisterwoman's Husband, someone who is supposed to be her friend (like your girlfriends and personal guy friends) not her father.


@ Sisterwoman
He has an apartment somewhere else where is free to go. . . what is going on here? I've read a couple of posts saying you two just got married and except this was a shotgun wedding, there is no reason why he couldn't have gotten rid of that apartment a long time ago. From where I stand (yes, as an outsider) there is more to this that meets the eye and not necessarily on your part.


1) His reaction to this issue is overboard -  Who the heck is he that he can't be spoken to sarcastically or fibbed to? In our father in heaven forgives, please he should go and sit down somewhere. You didn't cancel the appt to go do your nails or go shopping, you didn't blow him off because you didn't remember. . . now that would be the real show of not caring for his feelings. You cancelled it because of your children, fine let him be angry but to take it so far as to leave the house for days? Come on! What kind of man is this. . . are you sure you didn't marry a child? Okay on the off chance that he is indeed a man, there's another plausible explanation for taking this dramatic route

2) Projection (in the most basic terms) - He has done something, he is doing something or he is thinking of doing something he shouldn't have and instead of facing it, he has decide to pass whatever it is on you. Why else would he think you were still lying about cancelling the appointment for the kids? Blowing this out of proportion and acting like the mortally wounded party helps him replaced his guilt with anger. . . easier to handle and once like anyone else, once you get a legit excuse to be angry, he's be hard pressed to let it go, hence him not picking up your calls.  (Cowardly? Most definitely but it is what it is)

I'm sorry if I'm taking this too far but I refuse to believe this is over sarcasm. I know Nigerian men are egotistical, pompous with God-like complex but get mad over sarcasm? Seriously??!

And all of a sudden, all these under the petese law makers creating new rules on what shouldn't be brought in marriage. . . what the heck? Jeebus! Marriage is already hard enough, now we gotta add trivial matters like sarcasm to it? What next

"Sneezing has no place in an argument between a man and his wife because it will interrupt the man's flow of insults, which is rude and disrespetful to his authority"

Oh what about this one

"Blinking has no place in an argument because it shows for that for one second, the woman was not looking at the man, which is an insult to him. Obey is Authori-tay!!!"

Gah! What I would give for an eye rolling smiley right now. My first born child. . . any takers? I'll even throw in my husband.

This is a true case of soooing gege di arun. Nonsense.

all this spring wells of feminine advice shld get married first.