simibrasil now u have finally stated your point in that case everybody on this planet takes rubbish from the next person and so do men tolerate some things from their women and women also take things from their men , thats life

justgood it is really disappointing that this issue degenerated to words trading between you and michelin you shd have taken the higher ground and even given practical tips on how women can get better respect from their men and not saying that direspect of women by men does not exist,

my 2 cents

lol girl, have u read your replies and some others from females on this thread? shows that the current naija women we have now are nothing close to docile or tolerant as simi is trying to project us o

Na show jo.

except me

janami:

lol girl, have u read your replies and some others from females on this thread? shows that the current naija women we have now are nothing close to docile or tolerant as simi is trying to project us o

Rotflmoa! Yeah but we're hanging by athread, always on alert like security guards because we know one minor slip. . . we'll be on our hands and knees, chanting "Follow the leader, leader, leader! Who is the leader, leader, leader, the man is the leader, leader, leader"  for the rest of our lives.

total bullshit

This is an interesting thread and it's suppose to be an eye-opener and
not to bring out sexism in us.No doubt about it, Nigeria is a country
blessed with rich culture. When it come to starting a relationship/ home,
everyone has a role to play for it to work.
The dynamism of culture today,the way we embrace it,and interpret it
in our various homes is the result of what we are seeing in Nigeria.
Good or bad, it depend on the home. I and and my wife do have our issues
but i do not stand as a chauvinist in the house and i believe there are
several Nigerian men out there who are like that.
God is not a chauvinist and our culture isn't either.
The problem is with both parties (male and female)not being able to understand
themselves and work out their differences but instead, resolved to accusing culture or otherwise.
This same approach is affecting the Nigeria economy today, we have to start taking responsibility for our
failure and not look up to any nation or some one to help.
From my personal experience i can say that the "western country"
love our culture and we can not afford to trade it out.Things can work out
when we start to tolerate each other.
From the thread i can see a high percentage of women for women, and men for men,which still
points to the fact that we are the problem and not the culture.However some women on this thread have
been able to say that it's not about the men but the individuals using
culture as a tool,they have a good husband who understand them in the light of the culture.
The truth is, let's value the quality of individuals that we are in a relationship with.

ola4:

This is an interesting thread and it's suppose to be an eye-opener and
not to bring out sexism in us.No doubt about it, Nigeria is a country
blessed with rich culture. When it come to starting a relationship/ home,
everyone has a role to play for it to work.
The dynamism of culture today,the way we embrace it,and interpret it
in our various homes is the result of what we are seeing in Nigeria.
Good or bad, it depend on the home. I and and my wife do have our issues
but i do not stand as a chauvinist in the house and i believe there are
[b]several Nigerian men [/b]out there who are like that.
God is not a chauvinist and our culture isn't either.

Bravo, Romeo.
You have got to be kidding me if you actually in your mortal life believe there are only SEVERAL NIGERIAN MEN who are chauvinist. I mean you have to be joking.

milknhoney:

Bravo, Romeo.
You have got to be kidding me if you actually in your mortal life believe there are only S[b]EVERAL NIGERIAN MEN who are chauvinist[/b]. I mean you have to be joking.

He meant SEVERAL MEN WHO AREN'T CHAUVINIST!

michelin89:

He meant SEVERAL MEN WHO AREN'T CHAUVINIST!

Oh really now eh? Let me carry rope and fetchem' lol.

milknhoney:

Bravo, Romeo.
You have got to be kidding me if you actually in your mortal life believe there are only SEVERAL NIGERIAN MEN who are chauvinist. I mean you have to be joking.

Hi milknhoney, you need to read my thread before you make such highlight. thanks for clarifying michelin89.
If am Romeo then we need a Juliet, sis i will vote for you

ola4:

I made a comparison milknhoney, you need to read my thread before you make such highlight. thanks for clarifying michelin89.
If am Romeo then we need a Juliet sis, i will vote for you

You are welcome!

Simibrazil,
Since you  assume to know all Nigerian men, would it be suffice to say that all Brazilian men are gang bangers. Are you saying that Brazil is cradle of western civilization? Get real and tell us  what  are the statistics on violence against women,homicides,rapes and domestice abuses in your country. From your ignorant post, you tied every Nigerian man to Islam as if  to say that Nigeria is Saudi Aradia of Africa. Would it be proper to describe Brazil as a country  ridden by prostitution, ponography ,drugs and gangs? How about the fact that blacks are second class citizens  or that blacks would have  to achieve Pele status in order to be recognized as first class citizens. How does Brazil treat its indigenous population? So how about Brazil being the murder capital of the world with highest murder rate?

"Boasting some of the sexiest people ever to be stabbed repeatedly at night, Brazil is home to perhaps the most attractive victims of carjacking, robbery, and violent assault in the world"

.

Without being xenophobic (it is absoltel ridiculous that a brazilian, would ever think the brazilian culture or wa of life is better than what's obtainable in Nigeria). Well i wuld blame fellow nigerians who are quik 2 feel anywhere ( anyone) outside the shores of the greenland is better. Coming back to the matter slimbrasil, u dnt need 2 understand nigerians. we dnt owe u an explanation, go and marry a fellow brazillian (go and deal wit wats wrong wit yr country's values) such as:
- High rate of teenage pregnancy
- I dnt undstnd how a guy has so many baby mothers down dere, and otha women ar still givin it 2 him (wen u ar nt tuface)
-Take a note 4rm China's family plannin (u guys seem 2 always moan abt yr population, witout a plan)
-how come u hav so many prostitutes (the asian tigers dat we used 2 yab abt dis hav changed, u ar d only ones left)

Having seen a little of the world, Africa is the only place where you find black people with somtin close 2 a settled family setting, myb its nt heaven or earth, bt our homes ar a strong refuge for all who belong to it.

adconline (m) and lelele

Why don't you open a thread about Brazil/China if you re so interested in these cultures ?

Don't get away from the focus, don't attack to "defend yourself"

We are talking about relationship, here is family forum. To talk about these issues you were suppossed go to another place.

"it is absoltel ridiculous that a brazilian, would ever think the brazilian culture or wa of life is better than what's obtainable in Nigeria "
WHO SAID SO ? IGNORANT ! I HAVE ALREADY POST HOW THINGS WORK HERE, DONT Y READ ? "no" , SO, SHARE UP!

THIS THREAD IS SUPPOSSED TO BE OPENED BY FOREIGN BECAUSE NAIJA WOMEN DOENST RIGHTS AND DOENST COMPLAIN AND DOENST HAVE MOUTH TO ASK HELP, 

The bottom line here is mind, behave, naija women, point of view, feelings and not violence ,statistic , People Senseless.


AWAKE UP, HELLOOOOOOU !

Anyways sha, me think you are worst of all men and definitely don't have respect for women. I therefore pity your wife.

Eat in peace!

michelin tyre, i don tell you say e no go better for your papa. I sabi say you no even sure who be ya papa but e no go better for am.

As I no get respect for you, na you come be the yardstick for measuring my wife. if na like you my wife be, I for no marry am an she sef for dey here for internet like many of these other lonely women whose lives are nothing but hell on earth.

For someone who claims to have a family, it's amazing how childish your method of reasoning is.

what concerns me with calling your wife? All the other people that can prove that this so called generalization is true, I assume they are all lying except you because your wife would say other wise

Rofl. This your island of Denial must be paying you well for this your loyalty

Oh, how great is this! My reasoning is childish because I am not in your shoes and I dont have the same experience as you? Who exactly is the childish one?
Who are

All the other people that can prove that this so called generalization is true

? And just because some lonely women say something on the internet negates everything about my own life?
I wonder what kind of Nigerian women are on the internet

His arguments are embarrassing which is why he's now resorting to "oh it's because you people are lonely and alone" comments. Pathetic comments he has absolutely NO proof of. What a dork

I guess my being a dork is one of the reasons one guy told you on another thread that when you finally find a man to settle with you can come and talk to him?

I guess I'll have to tell you the same now. Please go and learn how to live in the midst of real people and also how to find love and give love before you come and shout here.

You will probably have a successful cyber love life seeing that you are very good with forum chat

Too many agbayas on this site.

Isnt it better to just say you don't have a family then to claim to have one and still act like children. Shameless.

When you are able to successfully find a man and keep a loving family. . .

holy crap justgood where do YOU live??

hanen, i grew up in Nigeria and I live in Britain.

I still maintain that I have never been at a party in my adult life where people rushed for food!
And I pray I never get to the stage where I will be attending such parties.

Must our life experiences be the same?

Gosh!

Buddy, that was sorely uncalled for - her parents arent on this forum, they're not posting here, yet you choose to insult them?

Michelin's a 19-year-old girl, a teenager, and from what you've said so far as regards to wife and children, I'D say you're probably in your mid to late 30's, or more.
Old enough to be her father.
Why would a grown man be trading insults with a teenager in the first place, worse still, extend those insults to her absent parents??

Siena, it was not uncalled for. I wonder if you told the girl that it was uncalled for when she insulted me just for having my own opinion.
If anyone does not want to be insulted, they should not throw insults. I am not one of those men who will allow themselves to be trampled upon just to try and prove that they have fake respect for women.

I had to refer to her parents because she's only a few years older than my first son and none of my children will ever insult someone just because the person has a different view from theirs

justgood it is really disappointing that this issue degenerated to words trading between you and michelin you should have taken the higher ground and even given practical tips on how women can get better respect from their men and  not saying that direspect of women by men does not exist,

my 2 cents

I have never said disrespect of women does not exist. These women are just pushing their luck and trying to get further into things to make other girls become like themselves.  Disrespect of women exists everywhere in the world, not just in Nigeria; and someone proved it when they posted a link to a brazillian forum. I started out by stating that it is not a Nigerian thing and then the group of frustrated and rejected women started their campaign to try and get other girls to have their own kind of attitude.

Why they always want to get other girls to become as unruly as themselves used to baffle me but I have come to realise the reason: they want more people to join the "frustrated women's bandwagon", according to one of my lecturers during my post grad studies days

I have a question for the men on this board : When i visited Nigeria i got the impression that women were blamed for everything that goes wrong Even in Nigerian movies , it`s always the woman who is the witch , who tries to seperate 2 brothers , who will poison her husband etc etc etc,
I hear many men say " I am the head of the house and I don`t want my wife to be in controll. My wife has to " listen " to me respect me and be sub,issive to me.

Well, could you please define a woman who is controlling? Is it when she is asking you to help her with thwe chores in the house , or when she is asking you to look after the kids, or when she also wants to go alone on trips or with her friends?

When does she give you respect? , and listen??

Basic problem is understanding the thin line between submission and respect. What you need to give a naija man is respect and he gives you the same respect, you become submissive or over submissive, then you get walked over (he farts, tell him he just farted). No one ever runs away from a free slave pampering, you behave like a slave he treats you like one.
i would support the theory of the older generations of naija guys being over dorminant,but it was a traditional thing, now  the tables are turning, afterall naija guys now even buy roses for women and open doors,
bottom line the naija lady has to respect her person and give the man respect and she would get the same respect, its vise versa

monatoetje:

I have a question for the men on this board : When i visited Nigeria i got the impression that women were blamed for everything that goes wrong Even in Nigerian movies , it`s always the woman who is the witch , who tries to seperate 2 brothers , who will poison her husband etc etc etc,
I hear many men say " I am the head of the house and I don`t want my wife to be in controll. My wife has to " listen " to me respect me and be sub,issive to me.

Well, could you please define a woman who is controlling? Is it when she is asking you to help her with thwe chores in the house , or when she is asking you to look after the kids, or when she also wants to go alone on trips or with her friends?

When does she give you respect? , and listen??

Monat, my opinion is that most men tend to exaggerate their positions - this is a well known thing: men will exaggerate their accomplishments so it may be the reason you hear so much about men saying they are the head bla bla bla. I say it too when I'm out with my friends; I tell them that I call the shot etc etc but the truth is that although my wife allows me to be the head and act the head, I know that I will feel empty without my wife and I know that she is an essential part of my existence. Many people who hear me speak when I'm out with my friends may construe that to mean that I am authoritarian and all that.

My wife will argue with me and then keep quiet cos she knows I'm a stubborn man but she knows that I'll consider her opinion in my own time and I've been known to retrace my steps and agree with what I initially disagreed with. She understands how to make her point without making me feel that she's undermining my position as the so-called head. Sometimes, when we have an argument i remind her that I am the head.

Every home has unique ways and no two families are the same. It would be wrong for anyone to try and tell another that what they are doing is wrong or how they are doing something is wrong; especially when they are unable to do their own thing right

bani:

Basic problem is understanding the thin line between submission and respect. What you need to give a naija man is respect and he gives you the same respect, you become submissive or over submissive, then you get walked over (he farts, tell him he just farted). No one ever runs away from a free slave pampering, you behave like a slave he treats you like one.
i would support the theory of the older generations of naija guys being over dorminant,but it was a traditional thing, now the tables are turning, afterall naija guys now even buy roses for women and open doors,
bottom line the naija lady has to respect her person and give the man respect and she would get the same respect, its vise versa

Yep. That's what makes the Nigerian lady unique and that's why Nigerian men always want to have naija ladies.
The only thing some people have in life to show is that they have been outside the country so they want to try and make Nigerians feel that they have learnt things that are better than what nigerians practice; so they will say and do anything just to denigrate what obtains in Nigeria.

Any woman who is unable to settle down in life has no business advising other women. How can a failure advise people on how to be successful?

Is it still common that if a husband dies that the family of the husband will claim all the property?
Just wondering , because after the husband of our sister died she and her kids were thrown out of the house and left with nothing. That was at least 20 YEARS AGO.

According to my husband things are changing gradually in Nigeria, however he does tell me that sons of strong women and educated family`s usually treat their wives better than does who had moms TS talked about.
And that polygamy was common YEARS ago but that it is against the law now, though most of the Islamic part in the North still practise it,

I fully agree, we are all " products " of our upbringing , so it`s not a typichal Nigerian culture. Even were i`m from the men used to be very dominant and women weren`t allowed to work, it was a disgrace to get pregnant before getting married, that was ONLY 50 YEARS AGO,

JustGood:

Yep. That's what makes the Nigerian lady unique and that's why Nigerian men always want to have naija ladies.
The only thing some people have in life to show is that they have been outside the country so they want to try and make Nigerians feel that they have learnt things that are better than what nigerians practice; so they will say and do anything just to denigrate what obtains in Nigeria.

Any woman who is unable to settle down in life has no business advising other women. How can a failure advise people on how to be successful?

unique? So you`re saying that majority of Non Nigerian women don`t show respect?

I do think that it is easier to be married to someone who shares similar background/culture, but i totally disagree in terms of " Respect " That term is been used to often by people who do not even know what " respect " means,

monatoetje:

Is it still common that if a husband dies that the family of the husband will claim all the property?
Just wondering , because after the husband of our sister died she and her kids were thrown out of the house and left with nothing. That was at least 20 YEARS AGO.

According to my husband things are changing gradually in Nigeria, however he does tell me that sons of strong women and educated family`s usually treat their wives better than does who had moms TS talked about.
And that polygamy was common YEARS ago but that it is against the law now, though most of the Islamic part in the North still practise it,

I fully agree, we are all " products " of our upbringing , so it`s not a typichal Nigerian culture. Even were i`m from the men used to be very dominant and women weren`t allowed to work, it was a disgrace to get pregnant before getting married, that was ONLY 50 YEARS AGO,

I dont think there's any law with regards to family claiming property, especially if a man dies without a will. It is dependent on the family and different circumstances. All of those things can be contested in law courts. I have a friend whose father died without leaving a will recently; leaving a large estate and businesses. The children are taking control of everything and no family member can dictate to them. No family can lay claim to any such property in law if the man has a wife and children.

I dont think polygamy has been legally allowed in Nigeria since I was born. However, many men tended to have concubines outside of their homes because of the way the women were. The women didn't seem to mind it. I know some of my dad's friends who did same but they could not legally marry second wives. Most people dont even do it again these days. saying that however, men all over the world tend to be promiscuous. Not just Nigerian men. Polygamy is allowed in Islam; not in Nigerian law.

Exactly! we are products of our upbringing. I remember even when I was in boarding house in secondary school, there were some of us who were really wild and wiser than others. people are different and experiences will always differ.

It is wrong for anyone to assume that what they have experienced or heard of is the case all round.

monatoetje:

unique? So you`re saying that majority of Non Nigerian women don`t show respect?

I do think that it is easier to be married to someone who shares similar background/culture, but i totally disagree in terms of " Respect " That term is been used to often by people who do not even know what " respect " means,

Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. Of course there are people everywhere who are respectful and are not always trying to lord it over others.

You have a point with regards to culture because what one person considers as respect, another may see as stupidity and what one person sees as wild is considered normal by another

i emphasised the thin line btw respect and submission. respect is not stupidity or submission. and if you respect your self you cant be walked over.

issues of a lady having problems with her inlaws when her husband dies is a thing of past , a very crazy custom. but now ladies are wiser cos some moroons from the 'stone age' who are very lazy try to still carry out such acts. but withthe law and enlightenment its been thwarted.

.

pikin wey dem no tech well for house, na for public wey strangers go teach am.
or if she dey abroad, one day dem go teach am when junkie go gun am down for street