These are Actual Signs (culled from round the globe).

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD
TIME

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT
TO THE GUARD ON DUTY

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE
CHAMBERMAID.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM,
PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM
MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN
TOOTLE HIM
WITH VIGOUR.

Sign in men's rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN !!!! TO THE RIGHT

Sign in Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL !!!! IN TUB.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE
OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN,LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT
UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME

In a Bucharest Hotel lobby (really!):
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET
THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

ahaha

Did I read that sign right?

       In an office:
      Toilet out of Order...................Please use floor below

       In a Laundromat:
       Automatic Washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the lights go out

       In a London department store:
       BBargain Basement Upstairs

       In an office:
       Would the person who took the Step Ladder Yesterday Please Bring it back or Further
Steps will be taken

In an office:
       After tea break Staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining
board


       Outside a second-hand shop:
       We exchange anything - Bicycles, washing Machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along
and get a wonderful bargain?

       Notice in health food shop window:
       Closed due to illness

       Spotted in a safari park:
       Elephants please stay in your car

       Seen during a conference:
       For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the 1st floor

       Notice in a farmer's field:
       The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the Bull charges

       On a repair shop door:
       We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Fabian and layi, please correct the use of all caps in your posts on this thread, as per the rules, before making new ones. Thanks!

Very funny and hilarious headings. i love this
Cheers

Funny

since when