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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Why I Divorced Lyssa (1961 Views)
10 Reason Why I Am The Hotest Guy On Nairaland / Divorced Woman / Divorced Woman (2) (3) (4)
Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 12:32pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
THIS IS HOW SHE GIVES ME POINTS WHENEVER I DO SOMETHING. When i make the bed after night sleep, i get , +1 point I make the bed, but forget to add the pillows, 0 I throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets, -1 I leave the toilet seat up Unknowingly, -5 I replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty, 0 I go out to buy her food stuffs, +5 But return with beer, -5 I check out a suspicious noise at night, 0 I check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing, 0 I check out a suspicious noise and it's something, +5 And the noise is her father, -10 I develop a noticeable potbelly, -15 I develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it, +10 I spend a lot of money on something she can't use, -10 And she got a small appliance for her birthday, - 40 I lost the directions on a trip, - 4 I lost the directions and end up getting lost, -10 I end up getting lost in a bad part of town, -15 I get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals area boys, - 25 IF i happen to know them, - 60 She asks, "Do I look fat?", - 5 I waste time in responding, - 10 I reply, "Where?", - 35 I Reply 'NO' , 0 When she wants to talk, I listen, , 0 When she wants to talk, I listen, for over 30 minutes, +5 I listen for more than 30 min. without looking at the TV, +10 She realizes this is because I've fallen asleep, - 20 I stay by her side in a party, 0 I stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a school friend, - 2 MY school friend happens to be a woman, - 6 When i visit her parents, 0 I visit her parents and actually make conversation , +3 I visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television , - 3 And the television is off, - 6 I take her out to dinner on her birthday, 0 I give her a gift on her birthday, 0 I give her a gift that I'll be paying off for months, +30 I wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day, - 10 With her own credit card, - 30 I forget her birthday completely, - 50 I forget to pick her up at the bus station, - 45 I Go out with a friend of mine, - 5 And the friend is happily married , - 4 Or frighteningly single , - 7 I have a few beers, - 9 I get home at 3 am, - 30 I stay home while she goes out with her friend from work, + 5 She goes out with her work friends, and she comes home late, + 10 I wait up for her, + 15 SHE goes out, comes home late and drunk, and I put her to bed, + 20 I watch TV together with her, 0 I rent a movie, +2 I stay awake throughout the movie, + 5 I fall asleep, - 5 I take her to a movie Hall, + 2 I take her to a movie she likes, + 4 I take her to a movie I hate , + 6 I take her to a movie I like, - 2 I buy her flowers only when it's expected, 0 I buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it, +20 NOW TELL ME WHY I SHOULDNT DIVORCE HER |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by clemcykul(f): 1:29pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
infact and inshort flog her very well before divorcing her, she did dat to info[i]mama[/i] wen dey were married |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by dani1luv: 1:31pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Shez really deserved the divorce bt yhu supposed to flog her 24 koboko of cain, ,, i may do da flog a$$ing for you |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by ayusman16(m): 1:43pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
@Sammulla, \ It is no long a secret that u couldnt satisfy her in bed. U r like indomie that takes just 2 minutes to cook. So quit acting as if u actually divorced her! Am sure she's still in cloud 9 after spending the night in my place. Hard knock! if u know what i mean! |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 1:47pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
you are proud of being a gigolo |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by clemcykul(f): 1:51pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
wow dats great ure very good at bla bla bla |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by ayusman16(m): 2:04pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
SAM MILLA: I make depressed babes who couldnt get satisfaction from their men happy! |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 2:18pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
no wonder you keep treating gonorrhea all the time, keep it up |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by dani1luv: 2:32pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
keep it up too, 20/20 |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by romsky: 2:37pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
sam 3 - critiques 10 |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by clemcykul(f): 2:50pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
lmao anyusman is it true u gat gono sammie anyussman can perform o |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by romsky: 2:55pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
clem were u given a sample |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by ayusman16(m): 3:08pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
I got gono once after shagging his babe. D babe felt like a trailer hit her after me was done with her. Wonder what Sammy has been doing with her? |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by cbase: 3:18pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
u dey try, asswipe |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by ayusman16(m): 3:34pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
cbase: u no dey try cmumu |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by newdeal(m): 3:36pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
make i hear the gospel according to Lyssa b4 i know wetin i go talk |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by clemcykul(f): 3:46pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
like say u sabi talk sense |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by romsky: 4:00pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
hope Ademiller already gave u her marking scheme |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Scopium: 4:26pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
[size=13pt]How does she award you points when you lay the pipe?[/size] |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Jeovy(m): 4:53pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Scopium:+10 SAM,Iysaa wicked sha |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Scopium: 5:07pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Jeovy: [size=13pt]It should be more than that na. [/size] |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 5:39pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
SEE PEOPLE, The pipe laying is no one s business but mine. No explanation from me |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by cbase: 6:36pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Amsterdam, +15, ABI? |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 7:05pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Yeye boy, lysaa is still beta than your girlfriend. |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Jeovy(m): 7:43pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
Ex-girlfriend you meant,she don deny am |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by cbase: 7:45pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
U mean, Sam's Sista?, yeah, i no want again |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 11:23pm On Sep 16, 2008 |
pedophile. i told you she is only 13 subtract that from 64 and u will see the age difference between both of you. |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by showbobo(m): 12:17am On Sep 17, 2008 |
More reason why you should decapitate her instead of the divorce.Check this out https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-165518.0.html |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Scopium: 8:17am On Sep 17, 2008 |
SAM MILLA:[size=13pt]Is she 13 or 31?[/size] |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by clemcykul(f): 8:20am On Sep 17, 2008 |
none of the above opium |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by SamMilla1(m): 11:57am On Sep 17, 2008 |
no mind the yeye ganja conceived boy, |
Re: Why I Divorced Lyssa by Jeovy(m): 12:11pm On Sep 17, 2008 |
clemcykul: Nice Name remix |
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