Three guys were sitting in a biker
bar. A man came in, already drunk,
sat down at the bar and ordered a
drink. The man looked around and
saw the 3 men sitting at a corner
table. He got up, staggered to the
table, leaned over, looked the biggest
one in the face and said, "I went by
your grandma's house and I saw her
in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she
is fine!" The biker looked at him and
didn't say a word. His buddies were
confused,because he was a bad ass,
and would fight at he drop of a hat.
The drunk leaned on the table again
and said, "I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I
ever had!" The biker still said
nothing. His buddies were starting to
get mad. The drunk leaned on the
table again and said, "I'll tell you
something else boy, your grandma
liked it!" The biker stood up, took the
drunk by the shoulder and said,
"Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go
home!"

Analysis

A man sat down at a bar and told the
bartender, "I bet you three hundred
dollars that I can piss into the cup all
the way over there on the other side
of the bar and not miss a single drop."
The bartender said, "There is no way
you can do that. Sure, I'll bet you
three hundred dollars." The man
then begins to undo his pants and
begins pissing. He starts pissing all
over the bar, spraying on the bottles
and the bartender, not making a
single drop in the cup. The bartender
starts smiling and laughing and says,
"That's it, you owe me three hundred
dollars." The man then gets up and
walks over to the pool table and
starts laughing and shaking hands
with the men standing there. He
walks back to bar, sits down and
starts laughing at the bartender and
hands him the money. The bartender
asks, "Why are you laughing? You
just lost the bet." The man said, "I'm
laughing because I bet those guys
over there one thousand dollars that
I could piss all over you and your bar
and you would still be laughing when
I was done."

A drunken man staggers in to a
Catholic church and sits down in a
confession box and says nothing. The
bewildered priest coughs to attract
his attention, but still the man says
nothing. The priest then knocks on
the wall three times in a final attempt
to get the man to speak. Finally, the
drunk replies: "No use knocking'
mate, there's no paper in this one
either."

One sunny day in Ireland, two men
were sitting in a pub, drinking some
Guinness, when one turns to the
other and says "You see that man
over there? He looks just like me! I
think I'm gonna go over there and
talk to him." So, he goes over to the
man and taps him on the shoulder.
"Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I
noticed you look just like me!" The
second man turns around and says
"Yeah, I noticed the same thing,
where you from?", "I'm from Dublin",
second man stunned says, "Me too!
What street do you live on?",
"McCarthy street", second man
replies, "Me too! What number is it?",
the first man announces, "162",
second man shocked says, "Me too!
What are your parents names?", first
man replies, "Connor and Shannon",
second man awestruck says, "Mine
too! This is unbelievable!" So, they
buy some more Guinness and they're
talking some more when the
bartenders change shifts. The new
bartender comes in and goes up to
the other bartender and asks "What's
new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins
are drunk again."

nairaland.com

Peter loves to drink at the local bar,
but his wife disapproves of this. One
night, he's at the bar and he gets
extremely drunk. He tries to stand
up, but immediately falls to the floor.
He tries this a few more times, but
each time he falls to the floor. People
offered to help him, but he said no
each time. He finally ended up
dragging himself home and sneaking
into bed, thinking his wife would
never catch him. The next morning,
Peter's wife says, "Pete, you bloody
worthless idiot, no good drunkard!
You were at the bar last night
drinking again!" Peter was confused.
"How did you find out?" "The bar
called. You left your wheelchair
there."

Fatalveli: nairaland.com

Aw de jokes

Owoado:
Aw de jokes

kul dude kip it up

0.facebook.com

Comments on d jokez

Owoado: Three guys were sitting in a biker
bar. A man came in, already drunk,
sat down at the bar and ordered a
drink. The man looked around and
saw the 3 men sitting at a corner
table. He got up, staggered to the
table, leaned over, looked the biggest
one in the face and said, "I went by
your grandma's house and I saw her
in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she
is fine!" The biker looked at him and
didn't say a word. His buddies were
confused,because he was a bad ass,
and would fight at he drop of a hat.
The drunk leaned on the table again
and said, "I got it on with your
grandma and she is good, the best I
ever had!" The biker still said
nothing. His buddies were starting to
get mad. The drunk leaned on the
table again and said, "I'll tell you
something else boy, your grandma
liked it!" The biker stood up, took the
drunk by the shoulder and said,
"Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go
home!"

Owoado: Peter loves to drink at the local bar,
but his wife disapproves of this. One
night, he's at the bar and he gets
extremely drunk. He tries to stand
up, but immediately falls to the floor.
He tries this a few more times, but
each time he falls to the floor. People
offered to help him, but he said no
each time. He finally ended up
dragging himself home and sneaking
into bed, thinking his wife would
never catch him. The next morning,
Peter's wife says, "Pete, you bloody
worthless idiot, no good drunkard!
You were at the bar last night
drinking again!" Peter was confused.
"How did you find out?" "The bar
called. You left your wheelchair
there."

,na wa o

Guykhena: ,na wa o

.
Notin wey drink nor fit do, lol

Owoado: .
Notin wey drink nor fit do, lol

lol,
Bros continue to keep us updated..

Guykhena: lol,
Bros continue to keep us updated..

Sure, fresh ones everyday

I was in the restaurant yesterday
when I suddenly realized I
desperately needed to pass gas. The
music was really, really loud, so I
timed my gas with the beat of the
music. After a couple of songs, I
started to feel better. I finished my
coffee, and noticed that everybody
was staring at me... Then I suddenly
remembered that I was listening to
my iPod.

Somebody knocks on door: Who is
there? Police? What do you want?
We want to talk. How many of you
are there? Two. So talk with each
other.
Note: no try am 4 naija o

A man was drinking at a bar and the
bartender came over to tell him he
had a visitor waiting for him outside
the bar. He had just bought another
large beer and he didn"t want anyone
to drink it. So, he wrote a little sign on
a piece of paper and left it by his beer
that said: "I spit in my beer." When he
returned to his bar stool there was
another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer too

A guy goes into a bar and sees a
beautiful woman. After an hour of
gathering up his courage he finally
goes over to her and asks, tentatively,
"Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She yells, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at
them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly
and completely embarrassed and he
slinks back to his table. After a few
minutes, the woman walks over to
him and apologizes. She smiles at
him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology and
I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations." To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs,
"What do you mean $200!?!"

A man walks into a bar, and tells the
bartender to pour him a 12 year old
single malt scotch, before the trouble
starts. The bartender pours his drink
and quietly moves away. After
finishing his drink, the man calls the
bartender back and tells him, "Pour
me a 15 year old scotch before the
trouble starts." The bartender thinks
this is very strange but pours him the
15 year old scotch. After finishing
that drink, the man tells the
bartender to pour him an 18 year old
scotch, before the trouble starts. The
bartender is becoming a little
worried, but pours him the 18 year
old scotch. Before the man finishes
his 18 year old scotch, the bartender
finally gets up the nerve to ask: "Say
friend, when this trouble is going to
start?" To which the man replies,
"The trouble starts, when you find
out that I don't have any money."

Fresh ones everyday

Owoado:
A guy goes into a bar and sees a
beautiful woman. After an hour of
gathering up his courage he finally
goes over to her and asks, tentatively,
"Um, would you mind if I chatted
with you for a while?" She yells, "No,
I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at
them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly
and completely embarrassed and he
slinks back to his table. After a few
minutes, the woman walks over to
him and apologizes. She smiles at
him and says, "I'm sorry if I
embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology and
I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations." To which
he responds, at the top of his lungs,
"What do you mean $200!?!"

Badt guy

Guykhena: Badt guy

Na she start am naa, lol

A drunk sitting at a bar observes a
very snobby woman participating in
a wine tasting contest. She was very
good at identifying the wine. At the
first taste she says: "Cabernet
Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people
were amazed. At the 2nd try she
answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953"
and they were once again amazed.
Then the drunk pisses in a glass and
hands it to her. She tries it and says
"Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the
drunk says, "Yeah, but what year
was I born?"

A drunk phoned police to report that
thieves had been in his car. "They've
stolen the dashboard, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal, even the
accelerator!" he cried out. However,
before the police investigation could
start, the phone rang a second time
with the same voice came over the
line. "Never mind," he said with a
hiccup, "I got in the back seat by
mistake."

Two drunks are walking along. One
drunk says to the other, "What a
beautiful night, look at the moon."
The other drunk stops and looks at
his drunk friend. "You're wrong,
that's not the moon, that's the sun."
They began to argue when they come
upon another drunk. They asked,
"Sir, could you please help settle our
argument? Tell us what that thing is
up in the sky that's shining. Is it the
moon or the sun?" The third drunk
looked at the sky and said, "Sorry, I
Don't live around here.

An armless man walked into a bar
which is empty except for the
bartender. He ordered a drink and
when he was served, asked the
bartender if he would get the money
from his wallet in his pocket, since he
has no arms. The bartender obliged
him. He then asked if the bartender
would tip the glass to his lips. The
bartender did this until the man
finished his drink. He then asked if
the bartender would get a hanky
from his pocket and wipe the foam
from his lips. The bartender did it and
commented it must be very difficult
not to have arms and have to ask
someone to do nearly everything for
him. The man said, "Yes, it is a bit
embarrassing at times. By the way,
where is your restroom?" The
bartender quickly replies -, "The
closest one is in the gas station three
blocks down the street."

A man in a bar had a couple of beers,
and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. "But I paid, don't you
remember?" said the customer.
"Okay," said the bartender. "If you
say you paid, you did. The man then
went outside and told a friend that
the bartender couldn't keep track of
his customers' bills. The second man
then rushed in and ordered a beer.
When it came time to pay he pulled
the same stunt. The barkeep replied,
"If you say you paid, I'll take your
word for it." Soon the customer went
into the street, saw an old friend, and
told him how to get free drinks. The
man hurried into the bar and began
to drink high balls when, suddenly,
the bartender leaned over and said,
"You know, a funny thing happened
in here tonight. Two men were
drinking beer, neither paid and both
claimed that they did. The next guy
who tries that is going to get punched
right in the nose." "Don't bother me
with your troubles," the final patron
responded. "Just give me my change
and I'll be on my way."