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My Dear Bros - Romance - Nairaland

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"Dear Nigerian Bros...Aren't You Tired Of Being An ATM?" / Dear Ladies, We Do Not Appreciate It When You Do These In Our Presence / My Dear, Wearing Skinny Jeans Is Not Romantic (2) (3) (4)

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My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 11:24pm On Jul 29, 2014
My Dear Bros,

I am tired of you whining about your girlfriend. What is it that you want? What are your expectations? She grew up in a city where “chop my money” by P-square is the soundtrack of our existence. She has Eldee singing, “ki lo fe, shey moto ni?” (what do you want, is it a car?); where Skuki is telling her to stop complaining that the sex is sore after obtaining a Prada purse; and Olamide is demanding that she “go down low” before she can get whatever expensive bric-a-brac she wants.

She is on the internet watching flamboyant proposals on YouTube- one guy pays for the whole seats in a movie theatre just so he can propose to his girlfriend over a Sex and the City footage. Another pays for advertisement space at a basketball game just so his popcorn-loving babe can see herself on big screen as he pops the question: “Will you

marry me?”

She has friends in school who drive around in Kia Optima bought by boyfriends working in Abuja.

That is her reality. You met her that way- a broke student with expensive dreams, living with a retired father and five siblings waiting every month, with gluttony for a cape, ready to dive into the old man’s pocket to gobble their own share of his pension. Sometimes they wait for months, and months turn to years, while sons become petty thieves and daughters convert to part-time prostitutes.

You met her that way- with an expensive ipad and no job. You didn’t question the Louboutin she wore on your first date; you didn’t raise an eyebrow when you saw her rocking a N75,000 swatch; you admired her head full of weaves and nodded approvingly. That weave costs N230,000. Don’t you know? Have you been living under a rock? So what are you complaining about?

After six months, the excitement of what she must have felt when her eyes settled on your good looks have worn off considerably; her true needy nature is in full bloom, and you start to rant, turn to a preacher yelling: “Money is not everything. Why are women so desperate and greedy? Money cannot buy happiness…”

Is love going to pay her fees and keep her greed for the good things of life at bay? So dad’s pension has been delayed for the fifth month. The last time he almost died on the queue waiting for hours, now he has announced to all his children- all shacked up in one sorry Nigerian University or the other- to go fend for themselves. Their only source of support is as good as dead.

Your babe is in her second year studying business administration. She has bills to pay and no clue how to get it sorted. She has a mop on her head (been sitting there for over nine weeks) that she needs to get rid of (to affix another more glorified one); her knickknacks are running out…and there you stand, with your portmanteau and a badly beaten golf car, talking about love and beautifully written letters.

Why do we like to buy trouble in the open market like this? How do you expect a struggling student of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with zero parent/government support, and siblings who are just as deprived, to worry about love and constant pings, or care about plastic red flowers you buy once a year on Valentine’s Day?

Think

Leave the student to focus on her life and the ugly challenges threatening to consume her. Stay away, your love is the last thing she needs. Unless that love comes with pocket money and a Hyundai saloon car, just forget it. You are complicating her life even more with your N70,000 job.

Why don’t you find a woman…you know? A woman with a job, who would shriek with joy when you ping her? One you can spend hours with talking about love and sweet nothings and she wouldn’t ask for recharge cards.

Aren’t you tired of being an ATM? It’s not like you have anything really. Your salary can barely sustain you. You’ve neglected your mother just so you can take Miss Under-graduate to the cinema every weekend to make up for the Blackberry Q300 you couldn’t buy for her.

Hian! Wake up, man! If you were my brother I’ll slap you out of this thick delirium. Be wise. Love with wisdom. With a N70,000 pay slip every month, the last thing you need is her love.

Soon you’ll start planning a wedding and children in your state of lack- the two of you walking into the arms of penury; claiming to have been captured by love. You see why you deserve a material lover? –Because your brain is on permanent retreat.

6 Likes

Re: My Dear Bros by Nobody: 11:36pm On Jul 29, 2014
What poem is that
Re: My Dear Bros by wasak(m): 11:38pm On Jul 29, 2014
breathtaking piece i should say.
bottom line; let every man live according to his means. both d lover and d runs girl.

1 Like

Re: My Dear Bros by corisande: 11:45pm On Jul 29, 2014
grin
Lmao
Runsbabes them don see justification for their thing
Re: My Dear Bros by Waspy(m): 12:09am On Jul 30, 2014
Funny but gospelly true....... You'll be suprised how many Naija boys and girls are playing out the Op's post undecided undecided undecided Pls Mods, this has got to reach FP, lots of Naija youths are pipedreaming.

1 Like

Re: My Dear Bros by Houseofglam7(f): 12:22am On Jul 30, 2014
I find this piece quite entertaining.

2 Likes

Re: My Dear Bros by Nobody: 12:39am On Jul 30, 2014
Houseofglam7: I find this piece quite entertaining.
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 12:53am On Jul 30, 2014
5naira: What poem is that
Poem? Hmmmmmm
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 12:54am On Jul 30, 2014
wasak: breathtaking piece i should say.
bottom line; let every man live according to his means. both d lover and d runs girl.
Yeah bro...
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 12:55am On Jul 30, 2014
corisande: grin
Lmao
Runsbabes them don see justification for their thing
cheesy grin
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 12:56am On Jul 30, 2014
Waspy: Funny but gospelly true....... You'll be suprised how many Naija boys and girls are playing out the Op's post undecided undecided undecided Pls Mods, this has got to reach FP, lots of Naija youths are pipedreaming.
Mods should help move it to Front page ASAP!!!
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 12:57am On Jul 30, 2014
Houseofglam7: I find this piece quite entertaining.
Thanks boss!!!
Re: My Dear Bros by sweetellar: 1:06am On Jul 30, 2014
Wonderful piece. Onye nwere nti, ya nuru. Dudes want a good looking, classy-looking, well- put- together lady. Know it comes with a lot of baggage.
Re: My Dear Bros by freshprincex49(m): 2:49am On Jul 30, 2014
You have said it all. This is the bitter reality. Most girls these days are so desperate to be like kim Kardashian that u will be shocked the extent they go to achieve 'their dreams', even when they are from humble backgrounds.

If u are unfortunate to be dating or asking any of them out, then SORRY is your name. You will end up losing your self esteem through their unrealistic demands and unecceassary comparisms...

Funny enough, after some years when the bitter reality sets in and they cannot land a good husband, they will now start giving men all sorts of names. Which man will want to squander his money or settle down with a lady who never believed in him or gave him a chance to succeed? Except of course u re a LEARNER grin.

Bottom line.......Concentrate on developing yourself, and the girls will fall over themselves seeking your attention. Don't get it twisted, LOVE still exists, but it has to be complemented with the nice things that money provides. If you think otherwise, then you are definately on a 'LONG THING' Besides, these Girls Ain't LOYAL... grin grin grin

2 Likes

Re: My Dear Bros by Nobody: 6:29am On Jul 30, 2014
Wetin dem girls no go do
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 11:46am On Jul 30, 2014
sweetellar: Wonderful piece. Onye nwere nti, ya nuru. Dudes want a good looking, classy-looking, well- put- together lady. Know it comes with a lot of baggage.
Ukpara okpoko gburu, nti shiri ya!!!
Re: My Dear Bros by Nobody: 1:01pm On Jul 30, 2014
broda, those girls wicked o. Dem chop u sotey, u see am as normal tin. I dey sorry for u
Re: My Dear Bros by Nobody: 1:56pm On Jul 30, 2014
Nice

1 Like

Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 3:31pm On Jul 30, 2014
Zedric: broda, those girls wicked o. Dem chop u sotey, u see am as normal tin. I dey sorry for u
Truth is scary!!!
Re: My Dear Bros by mencade5(m): 3:51pm On Jul 30, 2014
ikelvin: My Dear Bros,

I am tired of you whining about your girlfriend. What is it that you want? What are your expectations? She grew up in a city where “chop my money” by P-square is the soundtrack of our existence. She has Eldee singing, “ki lo fe, shey moto ni?” (what do you want, is it a car?); where Skuki is telling her to stop complaining that the sex is sore after obtaining a Prada purse; and Olamide is demanding that she “go down low” before she can get whatever expensive bric-a-brac she wants.

She is on the internet watching flamboyant proposals on YouTube- one guy pays for the whole seats in a movie theatre just so he can propose to his girlfriend over a Sex and the City footage. Another pays for advertisement space at a basketball game just so his popcorn-loving babe can see herself on big screen as he pops the question: “Will you

marry me?”

She has friends in school who drive around in Kia Optima bought by boyfriends working in Abuja.

That is her reality. You met her that way- a broke student with expensive dreams, living with a retired father and five siblings waiting every month, with gluttony for a cape, ready to dive into the old man’s pocket to gobble their own share of his pension. Sometimes they wait for months, and months turn to years, while sons become petty thieves and daughters convert to part-time prostitutes.

You met her that way- with an expensive ipad and no job. You didn’t question the Louboutin she wore on your first date; you didn’t raise an eyebrow when you saw her rocking a N75,000 swatch; you admired her head full of weaves and nodded approvingly. That weave costs N230,000. Don’t you know? Have you been living under a rock? So what are you complaining about?

After six months, the excitement of what she must have felt when her eyes settled on your good looks have worn off considerably; her true needy nature is in full bloom, and you start to rant, turn to a preacher yelling: “Money is not everything. Why are women so desperate and greedy? Money cannot buy happiness…”

Is love going to pay her fees and keep her greed for the good things of life at bay? So dad’s pension has been delayed for the fifth month. The last time he almost died on the queue waiting for hours, now he has announced to all his children- all shacked up in one sorry Nigerian University or the other- to go fend for themselves. Their only source of support is as good as dead.

Your babe is in her second year studying business administration. She has bills to pay and no clue how to get it sorted. She has a mop on her head (been sitting there for over nine weeks) that she needs to get rid of (to affix another more glorified one); her knickknacks are running out…and there you stand, with your portmanteau and a badly beaten golf car, talking about love and beautifully written letters.

Why do we like to buy trouble in the open market like this? How do you expect a struggling student of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with zero parent/government support, and siblings who are just as deprived, to worry about love and constant pings, or care about plastic red flowers you buy once a year on Valentine’s Day?

Think

Leave the student to focus on her life and the ugly challenges threatening to consume her. Stay away, your love is the last thing she needs. Unless that love comes with pocket money and a Hyundai saloon car, just forget it. You are complicating her life even more with your N70,000 job.

Why don’t you find a woman…you know? A woman with a job, who would shriek with joy when you ping her? One you can spend hours with talking about love and sweet nothings and she wouldn’t ask for recharge cards.

Aren’t you tired of being an ATM? It’s not like you have anything really. Your salary can barely sustain you. You’ve neglected your mother just so you can take Miss Under-graduate to the cinema every weekend to make up for the Blackberry Q300 you couldn’t buy for her.

Hian! Wake up, man! If you were my brother I’ll slap you out of this thick delirium. Be wise. Love with wisdom. With a N70,000 pay slip every month, the last thing you need is her love.

Soon you’ll start planning a wedding and children in your state of lack- the two of you walking into the arms of penury; claiming to have been captured by love. You see why you deserve a material lover? –Because your brain is on permanent retreat.

ooo pee,

make i confess i have done most of what you wrote there. God forgive me.

It wont happen again i promisetongue
Re: My Dear Bros by mencade5(m): 4:02pm On Jul 30, 2014
but this letter is supporting runz girls to continue their evil deeds sha. tongue
Re: My Dear Bros by ikelvin(m): 5:26pm On Jul 30, 2014
mencade5:

ooo pee,

make i confess i have done most of what you wrote there. God forgive me.

It wont happen again i promisetongue
Confirm!!!

1 Like

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