luvablesam:
Just my tot.then u bring d ex home to me wit a name? Some women are CHEATS!!!

D nite I findout,we split!!!

That'll be harsh though..... There's nothing too big or too small to settle....

The said man is dead, i dont see anything wrong with it except if the man is still alive then we can say she hasnt really forgotten him.



I love the name chinonso, though my first's love name is Nonso, i will certainly give my son that name.

cococandy: quite true. Imagine the hubby naming daughter after his ex lover.
Wifey will always feel like she's just second best and he's managing her because he couldn't end up with the former babe.
Not cool.

But in this case,the guy is dead,so I think oga has to just let it go. If the guy was still alive,I'd say he has reason to worry.

Dead or not, the husband may have every right to be worried. IMO, it's somewhat like sending a subtle message that 'if this guy weren't dead, I'd have been married to him and our first son will have junior attached to his name (the dead ex), so therefore be grateful I married you!'.

The husband should look past
it, forgive her and should also call their son by his second name since he may likely not be comfortable anymore with the first name. I only hope it doesn't lead to resentment.

Godmystrength: All ke? Not all now.
e.g and they are all FEMALE

My bad! Thanks for that. I meant to say some.

Feraz: My bad! Thanks for that. I meant to say some.

good.

Naetochukwu: The said man is dead, i dont see anything wrong with it except if the man is still alive then we can say she hasnt really forgotten him.



I love the name chinonso, though my first's name is Nonso i will certainly give my son that name.

better make sure you don't have an ex that is chinonso oo

Feraz: Dead or not, the husband may have every right to be worried. IMO, it's somewhat like sending a subtle message that 'if this guy weren't dead, I'd have been married to him and our first son will have junior attached to his name (the dead ex), so therefore be grateful I married you!'.

The husband should look past
it, forgive her and should also call their son by his second name since he may likely not be comfortable anymore with the first name. I only hope it doesn't lead to resentment. My bad! Thanks for that. I meant to say some.

you're saying the same thing I'm saying.
She didn't do well
But he has to look past it as it has happened.



Or opt for name change if it bothers him too much

pickabeau1: Some Women sha

Everything na just

Someone buys you a car, furnishes an apartment Just a friend

Someone names her child after a dead lover Just a name

Someone goes through heaven and earth for you Just one of my friends

Just a.. Just a



Madam I tire.. and the initial comments . I was like..WTF
The insecurity line again

LMAO! Of course....it's a 'just' for anything

Godmystrength: better make sure you don't have an ex that is chinonso oo

Well chinonso was my first boyfriend but i always loved the name before i met him

Feraz: LMAO! Of course....it's a 'just' for anything

.

.just a post..

just a phone number even though the person calls at 11/12 in the night

Just a chat..

Naetochukwu:
Well chinonso was my first boyfriend but i always loved the name before i met him

How will you be able to explain the part in bold? And i am sure he is still alive? better look for another name o. what if you marry someone like the OP's friend's husband?

Chill man.... its just a name, anyone can have it.. it's not as if the name is a © or ® f d ex-

Godmystrength: How will you be able to explain the part in bold? And i am sure he is still alive? better look for another name o. what if you marry someone like the OP's friend's husband?

Well before then i will explain to hubby why my baby's name have to Chinonso. The meaning here should be of high priority and not my ex

Naetochukwu:
Well before then i will explain to hubby why my baby's name have to Chinonso. The meaning here should be of high priority and not my ex

If you think so.

C 'em Hypocrites

Les: but to the man, its unique to a dead ex, you speak like issues of ex is something that shouldn't be bothered with.

There's a reason why he's called an ex. It's past. Over and done with. And ontop of that, the guy's deceased. So what really is the problem? How and why should the child's name cause any problems in his relationship, if he isn't idle and just looking for a fight?

Les: I might not have problem if my wife does whatever she wants to do with her ex

What do you mean by doing whatever she wants to do with her ex? She isn't doing anything with him. Or am I missing something here?

Les: but naming my child after her dead ex is not just cool. Second to frequent lying, this is the second thing that can make me option for divorce, because if I knew, I wouldn't have married her initially.

Like someone pointed out earlier, what if this dead ex's name happens to be the same name shared by the venting husband's very own sibling? Or parent even? Would you, if you were in his shoes take the same stand you're taking? And then you go on to mention divorce. You think divorce is something to be tossed about with like some sort of yo-yo? If you want to divorce a spouse, at least have a valid reason and not over the name of some deceased person. A name, which in all probability, is shared by millions of people out there.

And then you finish off your sentence with the statement If I knew, I wouldn't have married her initially. If you knew what exactly? That she had a relationship with someone (before meeting you), who is now dead?

freakcin:

Of course its always irrelevant when its a guy complaining.

How can you name your first son in the memory of a late lover? Obviously, she's yet to let go of his memories, which I don't have a problem with. But naming her child after him

Na wah oooh!

It's got nothing to do with whether the person complaining is a guy or not. Okay, let's put this in perspective...

Most guys sleep with tens if not more (maybe hundreds?) of women before they settle down. Do all of these women not become ex's once he's married?

So based on what you're saying, when choosing a name for a child with his wife, he has to go dreg up the past, cross check the names of all of his exes and ensure that none of his kids bear those women's names? Is this what you're advocating? How reasonable is this?

cirmuell: C 'em Hypocrites

isn't it typical? wen it doesn't favour us, we make an ish out of it but wen it does....ohhh, it's just a name. d husband has every rite to b disturbed and angry, though it shld be sorted out amicably.

Thats what I call re-incarnation.


1. Wife should be sent out of the house
2. The boy's name must be changed, and subjected to serious deliverance.

Invoking the spirit of the dead on my son warrants an instant divorce.

Is this story true? Except the name is the ex's second name, there is no way such an information would have remained unknown. The woman should have discussed it with her husband though.

EfemenaXY:

It's got nothing to do with whether the person complaining is a guy or not. Okay, let's put this in perspective...

Most guys sleep with tens if not more (maybe hundreds?) of women before they settle down. Do all of these women not become ex's once he's married?


So based on what you're saying, when choosing a name for a child with his wife, he has to go dreg up the past, cross check the names of all of his exes and ensure that none of his kids bear those women's names? Is this what you're advocating? How reasonable is this?

That's a different scenario entirely. In this case, this woman knew what she was doing. She intentionally gave her son her late ex's name.
What is bad is bad. It would have been different if the hubby had been in the know right from the beginning.

I'm very sure there are times when she'll call her son and the memories of her ex will fill her head. Let her just apologise very well to her husband.

@TV, LMAO. You are becoming something else these days

EfemenaXY







There's a reason why he's called an ex. It's past. Over and done with

that's the problem, its supposed to be done with but in this case, if she named the baby because of the lost ex, it's a big problem but if not, no wahala but I wanna go for the former

. And ontop of that, the guy's deceased. So what really is the problem?

as regards the former above, death Is a physical end, doesn't mean that emotions are ended, that's emotional cheating

How and why should the child's name cause any problems in his relationship, if he isn't idle and just looking for a fight?

how will you feel if your husband name your baby after someone you are meant to despise??

What do you mean by doing whatever she wants to do with her ex? She isn't doing anything with him. Or am I missing something here?

that's for me, with reference to the initial former I pointed out, I know guys whose married exes still contact them, that's what I'm saying, contact your ex, flex with him, think about him always, I don't care but don't just bring that into my home to the extent of naming my baby after him, is she mad?? >

Like someone pointed out earlier, what if this dead ex's name happens to be the same name shared by the venting husband's very own sibling? Or parent even? Would you, if you were in his shoes take the same stand you're taking?

referring you back to the initial former I listed out, if she named my baby after her ex purposely even if that name is mine, I stick to my guns, it all depends on the reason for the naming tho and if its because of an ex, totally unacceptable

And then you go on to mention divorce. You think divorce is something to be tossed about with like some sort of yo-yo? If you want to divorce a spouse, at least have a valid reason and not over the name of some deceased person. A name, which in all probability, is shared by millions of people out there.

you kinda make sense here so got to be careful in replying, but lemme say, after having my fair share of emotional trauma from the female folks. I'm not sure I love wit up to ¼(25%) of my emotions and ya, I have some things that are listed out that I won't think twice about before considering divorce and this just made the list.

And then you finish off your sentence with the statement If I knew, I wouldn't have married her initially. If you knew what exactly? That she had a relationship with someone (before meeting you), who is now dead?

knew what exactly That she's nit over an ex!!! A dead one for that matter, and for the fact she knew him before me is more reason she should get it over with because I won't sympathize with her, that's emotional cheating and naming my baby after him is the highest level of disrespect I can ever tolerate.

jumzzy448:

That's a different scenario entirely. In this case, this woman knew what she was doing. She intentionally gave her son her late ex's name.
What is bad is bad. It would have been different if the hubby had been in the know right from the beginning.

I'm very sure there are times when she'll call her son and the memories of her ex will fill her head. Let her just apologise very well to her husband.

@TV, LMAO. You are becoming something else these days

How is it an entirely different scenario? The principle is the same. The underlying "deceit" is the same. The end result is the same.

If you lot on here can't accept that an ex's name isn't unique, then you all should be advocating for couples to list every single person they had romantic encounters with (whether sexüal or not) and then strike out those names from the available list of names to call their offspring.

EfemenaXY:
It's got nothing to do with whether the person complaining is a guy or not. Okay, let's put this in perspective...
Most guys sleep with tens if not more (maybe hundreds?) of women before they settle down. Do all of these women not become ex's once he's married?
So based on what you're saying, when choosing a name for a child with his wife, he has to go dreg up the past, cross check the names of all of his exes and ensure that none of his kids bear those women's names? Is this what you're advocating? How reasonable is this?

The call name for a child is quite important and symbolic. A lot of people name a child after a cherished one, like a late grandpa/grandma or a cherished friend.

In this case a cherished late ex!

Be sincere to yourself, if you discover that your first child (a female) was named after ur hubby's ex whatever that has passed on, you would really take it with a pinch of salt

Of-course circumstances occur whereby the wife might not have had the particular ex in mind, although that kinda co-incidence becomes suspect when you factor in the role fond memories can play in this kind of thing.

More often than not its a way of keeping fond memories.

@Les: If you're going to quote me, kindly do it properly. I can't for the life of me decipher what you're trying to post on here.

freakcin:

The call name for a child is quite important and symbolic. A lot of people name a child after a cherished one, like a late grandpa/grandma or a cherished friend.

In this case a cherished late ex!

Be sincere to yourself, if you discover that your first child (a female) was named after ur hubby's ex whatever that has passed on, you would really take it with a pinch of salt

Of-course circumstances occur whereby the wife might not have had the particular ex in mind, although that kinda co-incidence becomes suspect when you factor in the role fond memories can play in this kind of thing.

More often than not its a way of keeping fond memories.

My sincere response is that I'd be more concerned with the meaning of the name (and the sound of it too. It must sound pleasant to my ears), and not who bore the before my kid, much less a deceased person.

Re the bolded: Are you serious?

So not only would you as a man fight a deceased person, but you'll also fight a deceased ex's memory??

What won't one read on nairaland again?? Una get time sha. A lot of time on your hands...

If calling the name of an ex or hearing the name is enough to awaken memories of the past then there is trouble o. that means you will not work in an office where someone bears the name of your ex, if you have a friend who is the sake of your ex, then that's the end of the friendship, if you have any siblings going by that name, they had better not come near you house etc. I am learning everyday. I have to keep this in mind when i want to name my unborn child(ren)

You don't even need a name before you remember past memories if you really want to

The wrong i see is that the woman kept all this from the husband only for him to find out later somehow. This would have been avoided if she had been open with her man..... (at least he would have know the ex's name and when wife picked the name for son, he would have objected)


[size=4pt]meanwhile, et me go and scan my boy's names and see if any of hubby's ex name is there o (that's if i even know about all his exes)[/size]

EfemenaXY:
My sincere response is that I'd be more concerned with the meaning of the name (and the sound of it too. It must sound pleasant to my ears), and not who bore the before my kid, much less a deceased person.
Re the bolded: Are you serious?
So not only would you as a man fight a deceased person, but you'll also fight a deceased ex's memory??
What won't one read on nairaland again?? Una get time sha. A lot of time on your hands...

Concerned and fight must mean same thing in your dictionary!

At no point did I mention taking up any issue with the deceased. My grouse is with my wife.

The unabashed manner in which you've stuck to your fickle points also make me laugh albeit, sardonically!

EfemenaXY







There's a reason why he's called an ex. It's past. Over and done with

that's the problem, its supposed to be done with but in this case, if she named the baby because of the lost ex, it's a big problem but if not, no wahala but I wanna go for the former

. And ontop of that, the guy's deceased. So what really is the problem?

as regards the former above, death Is a physical end, doesn't mean that emotions are ended, that's emotional cheating

How and why should the child's name cause any problems in his relationship, if he isn't idle and just looking for a fight?

how will you feel if your husband name your baby after someone you are meant to despise??

What do you mean by doing whatever she wants to do with her ex? She isn't doing anything with him. Or am I missing something here?

that's for me, with reference to the initial former I pointed out, I know guys whose married exes still contact them, that's what I'm saying, contact your ex, flex with him, think about him always, I don't care but don't just bring that into my home to the extent of naming my baby after him, is she mad?? >

Like someone pointed out earlier, what if this dead ex's name happens to be the same name shared by the venting husband's very own sibling? Or parent even? Would you, if you were in his shoes take the same stand you're taking?

referring you back to the initial former I listed out, if she named my baby after her ex purposely even if that name is mine, I stick to my guns, it all depends on the reason for the naming tho and if its because of an ex, totally unacceptable

And then you go on to mention divorce. You think divorce is something to be tossed about with like some sort of yo-yo? If you want to divorce a spouse, at least have a valid reason and not over the name of some deceased person. A name, which in all probability, is shared by millions of people out there.

you kinda make sense here so got to be careful in replying, but lemme say, after having my fair share of emotional trauma from the female folks. I'm not sure I love wit up to ¼(25%) of my emotions and ya, I have some things that are listed out that I won't think twice about before considering divorce and this just made the list.

And then you finish off your sentence with the statement If I knew, I wouldn't have married her initially. If you knew what exactly? That she had a relationship with someone (before meeting you), who is now dead?

knew what exactly That she's nit over an ex!!! A dead one for that matter, and for the fact she knew him before me is more reason she should get it over with because I won't sympathize with her, that's emotional cheating and naming my baby after him is the highest level of disrespect I can ever tolerate.

EfemenaXY: @Les: If you're going to quote me, kindly do it properly. I can't for the life of me decipher what you're trying to post on here.

modified, that's the proper way to quote, seun's attention is needed here cos this quoting System is tough like hell, to you tho,

kika23:
That'll be harsh though..... There's nothing too big or too small to settle....

I know its harsh but some comments here are just appalling!

shooze: I find it strange that people expect the husband to just accept it. If tables were turned I would be really hurt. I can't imagine my husband naming my child after an ex dead or not. I would take it to mean that a part of him still yearns for what would have been and he is not totally happy in the marriage

I find it very disrespectful

I agree totally with you. Am sure the woman would have brought down the house should the hubby do same to her.
For people that are saying its just a name. Its not just a name oo! Serious sentiment is attached to it. The woman indirectly told her hubby that she loved and still love her ex even in death. Mtcheeewww!

If am d hubby, dat name must be deleted, permanently.

@Les: You still need to work on your quotes. I can't quote your post because I'll end up simply re-quoting my own posts. Kindly do the modifications so I can respond appropriately - and believe me, I've got holes to pick with your argument...

freakcin:
Concerned and fight must mean same thing in your dictionary!
At no point did I mention taking up any issue with the deceased. My grouse is with my wife.
The unabashed manner in which you've stuck to your fickle points also make me laugh albeit, sardonically!

Nope, concern and fight do not mean the same thing in my dictionary. The tone of your post however implies that you'll bring down hail and brimstone on your spouse's head, if she dares name your child after a deceased ex's name. How else do you explain this:

freakcin:

... although that kinda co-incidence becomes suspect when you factor in the role fond memories can play in this kind of thing.
More often than not its a way of keeping fond memories.

~ Your child sharing the same as that of a dead ex becomes suspect of what? A crime? If yes, what's the crime?

~ What "role" are fond memories of a dead ex playing? And in what sort of thing? Is it a crime to have fond memories of a person she dated before meeting you? So what are those fond memories a guilty suspect of? That she's cheating on you? Sleeping with the deceased ex?

The hypocrisy by a lot of females on this thread is utterly suffocating. Damn

Simple solution @OP, Let the husband insist on making use of the child's other (middle)name as the primary name on all his documents henceforth...this is what I would do if I were to be in this situation.

Everyone has at least two names, so I would most surely turn the child's middle name into a first name and relegate the ex's name to become the middle initial, everyone stays happy...and should the wife find this change upsetting, be clear and sure to remind her that it's just a name.