ifyalways :

Romy na Ikomi ole ubochi unu abuo ga eyipu panti unu gbara oto luo ogu.a gam a likei i bu refree ubochi ahu.nani mu,no linesman. 

Ad tell u a story, ima nam wu story man.

This story really happened, at Portharcourt, it was one of the Ghetto areas which we invariable call slum.

A teenage girl got pregnant, so after serious beaten by the father, she told the mother exactly what happened.

What happened was that she had it with John and Etiebet, on the same day at the same time in the same room.

Now that is not the funny side of the story, the funny side comes quite later, well at least it was - to me - one of the funniest things av ever encountered.

The mother in annoyance mixed with suprise ran to the street shouting that Ete and Johnny have killed her and her daugther, that both of them slept with her at the same time. So everybody came to pacify mama Edna. But while they were all asking her to stop crying, many had 2 important question on their mind, how can pelenge (meaning slim) Edna take Johnny and Ete at the same time, and who would the baby's father be.

Well that day went by without anyone actually voicing there curiosity.

After 2 days then the argument was very strong at the nearby bar (pub), who the father of the baby should be.

Some said Johnny would definitely be the father, since his got more muscles than Ete, that he must have applied the higher force in the intercourse, some argued that u can't say its Johnny since the girl (Edna) has already admitted that Ete went first, so it must be Ete.

It was so funny to see locals argue with all there myth on these two different views which some believed lacked medical merit.

Anyway some came up with the option of DNA, but u know Naija now, 1) DNA test is quite expensive and 2) Not much hospitals could provide this test then.

So Ify one other day still at the bar oohhh, cause everyone knew everyone, we decided to vote, those who believed that it is Johnny based on his muscular strength to a side, those who believe its Ete because he went in first to one side, while some who were undecided and could not provide the money for DNA tests decided we should wait till the baby is born, so that we could determine the father by who the baby resembles the most between John and Etiebet.

Waiting till the baby is born so we could determine the father from who the baby resembles, in itself wasn't  a perfect solution. What if the baby resembles Edna, its back to square one. Ify it was so funny in the bar those days as it was a very serious argument then, lol.

God I wish those days would come back, same kind of friends, everything seemed like a joke.

Dont ask me what finally happened, I moved on and left them on the matter, but later in the future I met John who would not admit that his the baby's father as Ete wont either. But I know Edna must have gone through hell. She was just another poor girl that experimented. When I mean poor I mean poor, in any way u can imagine poor. That was the pathetic side of the story.

But every argument in the bar was a wonderful, ignorant joke.

ifyalways:

nnenneigbo na Otele,unu anola ?

I go .

Otele otele otele otele how many times did presido call u?

onye na asu bekee na threadia

Ikomi onye nta akukuo,deje.akuko gi a dikwa egwu,ngwanu otu a m di ime,ole onye ga abu nna di nwa?Fake ka o bu Tosh and FYI e mere m ya with ha abuo otu ubochi,na otu onu ulo,na otu elu akwa. who is da babes dad?
painfully sweet story you told. ihe bois na eme babes
@Chukacarlo,ndeewo.i bu nwoke ka i bu nwanyi?iwu onye ebe?Welucomu to ogbako ndi igbo

presido1:

I go .

Otele otele otele otele how many times did presido call u?

lmao
Ewepu aka oru ekwensu,ole ihe mmadu na acho na otele ibe ya?
Romy,heheeeeeeeee,osetiela!.ihe oma rute gi aka.

happi week nke end mmadu niile.

O putara na choochi unu agbasabeghi unu esi na ulo uka gawa na ulo nkwu/ngwo? oooooooh ije !
Rommmmmmanus happi happi birthday to you today.
Ka chukwu kpuchie ma chebe gi,ka ebube Jah na amuke na ihu gi mgbe dum.ogologo na ahu ike ka Jah ga eji were cho gi nma.Jah ga ebuli gi elu karia ndi ogbo gi.ndi mmadu ga ele gi anya ,huta idi nma Jah na ahu gi.happy buffday. [s]umu gi ndi no na akpa amu wud come out safely and soundly.umu asa ga ahapu gi aka,you sef leave umu asa na okpa[/s]

Pres
Ikomi ole anwuruoku?
igbo hi

ndi iberibe. olee ha

ifyyyyyyyyy, onye iberi. . . . . .

romanus onye ara . .

presido . . president ndi umuotele

alakpuola ha, ndi uru

darfur:

ifyyyyyyyyy, onye iberiBE. . . . . .

well said

Igbo Kwenu.Ka anyi n'aga na iru. o bu chukwu bu EZE.

ifyalways:

Rommmmmmanus happi happi birthday to you today.

Ifyyyyyy muchas gracias guapetonaaa

IGBO KWENU! KWENU! KWEZUONU!, Obu nna m murum! Ejirom ujo were too okorobia! Oga adiri unu nile mma!

romeo:

Ifyyyyyy muchas gracias guapetonaaa

LOL mon premier bebe,felicitations

darfur:

ndi iberibe. olee ha

ifyyyyyyyyy, onye iberi. . . . . .

romanus onye ara . .

presido . . president ndi umuotele

alakpuola ha, ndi uru

darfur,okpara felimbombo
Pres,kwanyere onwe gi ugwu .Otele si mu gwa gi na gi kwusi ikpo nnenne na ekwe nti ya.
Romy ole udika mmai i nyere m sef?ole crotchet m?i tinyere anwuru ike/oku na henessey ahu?e nwetabeghim onwem kemgbe parti gi ahu?biko send ma crotchet back
Ikomiusaraburotus ole ije?aka m di na elu na ekele.
Fizokey,ndewwo.infact Okechukwu how far? kedu maka umuaka gi?
Amax,lol.i bu nwoke ka i bu nwanyi?Jah na achi mgbe dum.
igbo hi.

ifyalways:

LOL mon premier bebe,felicitations darfur,okpara felimbombo
Pres,kwanyere onwe gi ugwu .Otele si mu gwa gi na gi kwusi ikpo nnenne na ekwe nti ya.

Bia nwanyi akpozine nne aha ebe a, oge obula ikporo aha ona atabi ire. So be careful.

Akporo m numba fake vodafone asi m na oweghi service, oputara na service anoghi na panti gi?
Try do sumffin biko, even if na antena tinyere nwa mazi ka onwe ike na ekwuru m.

Ify gaa choro di luo, stop jumping from one to the other. 

Ikomi:

Ify gaa choro di luo, stop jumping from one to the other.

Osi the day ibuliri mmaya nwanye ya ebulie mmaya nwoke lol
But eche m na i'na achota ra ya anwuruoku

bia presido,them born u put for dis thread?u no dey tire?abeg comot for new pple to enter jooooo

Come Mrs Kadri, i go send Ikomi follow u if u no take tyme.
Of kos i dey everywhere u neffa hia say seun na my boy.
Na we get NL.

i hear u

why u no hear? make i send ikomi come?

Ikomi:

Ify gaa choro di luo, stop jumping from one to the other. 

ka guo isi gi na okwute  infact welite agba gi elu 
have i jumped on you yet?     were tenor na bass were kwuo d okwu,Ikomi talk da talk or tinye ya na radio 9ja  ihe m emetuna ihe gi before?  that reminds me,ole anwuruoku sef?  okwa i kwere m nkwa na i ga achotaram di,d very day i ga alu pinky , that same day i would be wedding Darfur  _{yes ! any comments?} guy,wepu that anya 4:30 gi na ahum buko. 
Ikmoi ga luo nwanyi,stop jumping from pinky to reddy 

presido1:

Bia nwanyi akpozine nne aha ebe a, oge obula ikporo aha ona atabi ire. So be careful.

Akporo m numba fake vodafone asi m na oweghi service, oputara na service anoghi na panti gi?
Try do sumffin biko, even if na antena tinyere nwa mazi ka onwe ike na ekwuru m.

m kpo nne aha gini eme?anam amukwa takwendo kemgbe echi,don't be ma first victim  yes,service anoghi na pantim,i choro i dotaram service ebe ahu?
Tosh felimbombo jikwa iwe acho gi. . .ima now  unfinished biz 
Ghettochyk  N.G.O.Z.I all da way
igbo hi minus mmadu abuo 

ifyalways:

ka guo isi gi na okwute  infact welite agba gi elu 
have i jumped on you yet?     were tenor na bass were kwuo d okwu,Ikomi talk da talk or tinye ya na radio Nigeria ihe m emetuna ihe gi before?  that reminds me,ole anwuruoku sef?  okwa i kwere m nkwa na i ga achotaram di,d very day i ga alu pinky , that same day i would be wedding Darfur  _{yes ! any comments?} guy,wepu that anya 4:30 gi na ahum buko. 
Ikmoi ga luo nwanyi,stop jumping from pinky to reddy 

Gaaaaaaaa luoooooooooo di, the whole thread is saying gaaaaaaaaaa luooooooooo di.

All we are sayyyyyyyiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg Ify ga luo di

Last lady standing 

Ujo ulu di odighi?

presido u still dey hiaaaa,c'mon si'ri ebea pwo osiso,i chuburu onwen gi na nwanyi u dey like come hiaaa because women like ify dey abi ina cho nwanyi iga lu,buru uwagi lakuru ndie ngwa,fa ga e'yen gi nwanyi iga'lu

Nzuko ndi ono na di acho di.

jennykadry:

presido u still dey hiaaaa,c'mon si'ri ebea pwo osiso,i chuburu onwen gi na nwanyi u dey like come hiaaa because women like ify dey abi ina cho nwanyi iga lu,buru uwagi lakuru ndie ngwa,fa ga e'yen gi nwanyi iga'lu

Ichoghi ka mara ify mee ihe mara gi mere na ukwu ukpaka ahu di na juction(yunction) afor uguri.
For ur info we(mara ify) are about to do it na oge na adighi anya

presido darling

ify baby!! i dikwa nma? ke etu nairaland si eme?

For the ladies only.
lekwa nu nwoke Chineke kere ubochi Sunday!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRSxL6KXVB4

nna osisi nwoke ma makwa agab egwu,ogbakariri umu nwanyi eziokwu

Ikomi:

Gaaaaaaaa luoooooooooo di, the whole thread is saying gaaaaaaaaaa luooooooooo di.

All we are sayyyyyyyiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg Ify ga luo di

Last lady standing

Ujo ulu di odighi?

Ok,yes ujo ilu di na atum,case closed.shiooor how are u darling

oziomatv:

Nzuko ndi ono na di acho di.

hmmn.lekwa ndi ono na nwanyi acho nwanyi talking !.i choro i gafee, gafee peacefully,e metuna onye o bula aka biko.

presido1:

Ichoghi ka mara ify mee ihe mara gi mere na ukwu ukpaka ahu di na juction(yunction) afor uguri.
For your info we(mara ify) are about to do it na oge na adighi anya

what dont you mean? i sorola Ikomi asu igbo ndi etiti uzo?ole ihe aha mu na gi na eme togeda?since when were we joined with one wrapper sef?me gini?be silly dia
lol presssssssssssssssss,nnenne na ekele gi.Fake si gi how far

ghettochyk:

ify baby!! i dikwa nma? ke etu nairaland si eme?

a dim nma.gwa Iyke isi okpukpu ya hapum aka ana m elokwa boiz.babe longeeeest tyme.stay safe

jennykadry:

presido darling

hmmmn.anya m jiri guo akwukwo nso today na pulpit a gaghi ahu ihe ojoo.what am i saw hia .Bia Jenny,nnenne na akukwa okpo,she be heavyweight yampion for akwa ibom ooooo

sheniqua:

For the ladies only.
lekwa nu nwoke Chineke kere ubochi Sunday!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRSxL6KXVB4

dalu but i know i can dance more than that juo erhmm,juo all of them bois
happy sunday all and wishing one o bula a sweet izu uka ohuru.
Faky na Toshy na Romy na _Pres na ^darfur na spare tyre Ikomi,na umbrella Uche2nna,na mkpuchi oyi Echelon,na onye nkem Mortiple,na Kashiff nwanne ukwum,na Youngies na ndi ozo otu love

Ole nke gbasara gi eme mu na jennycoco dey.
Amibo

presido1:

Ole nke gbasara gi eme mu na jennycoco dey.
Amibo

o nweghikwa.did i comment.anom strictly on nkirinkiri levels.i gakwara choochi today?umu akam na nna m ukwu na ekele gi.i mere olia?
did you see anwuruoku?Ikomi has just raised my hopes and yet dashed it on aja poto poto Ikomi kill joy,Ikomi jealousy,Ikmoi isi okpukpu

How many times ka nga agwa gi na abu m onye sabati
Saturday ka anyi na aga church with dress white.

odika imaghi na ihe na emetu ikomi na isi sometimes, Please don't tell anybody ok.
Isi adichaghi ya mma. expecially oge winter.

lol.mua bukwa onye cherubim
ndi uka sabbati,ndi ogologo uwe
iga na sabbati band bu malite ekpere
sister bido ibu amuma,bro ebido ihu uzo
ahu sister metu broda all dalikwatiri
bro tuo m na ala mee mu ihe soro gi

i have always known na Ikomi were loose nuts.do u know of any mechanic to help tighten it?i nwere screw driver 6 by 12?
Pres ura na tum,buko ka chi foo.wait,i huru Romy?kwa ya chitaram crotchet m biko ohu darfur zutaram ya and i dont want him to notice that its not with me anymore