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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? (53653 Views)
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Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by PAINGAIN: 9:31am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Midehi: i am a single lady & a guy is hell bend to marry me,am stil wonderin why he's so much in luv dat he a single guy is plannin to see my parent...i ask him dou & hs response ws am calm,beautiful & respetful,we luv each oda so much bt am stil scared if his peopl wil acept me wit 2 girls who ar alwys wit my mother....i fell into marriage wen i ws 19 to a guy who ws dump by hs fiancee & settld on me cos he ws gettin old bt wen i enterd...omo see beatin ooo,hes vry fast on hiting on any slightest mstake, i endured neva wntd to leave bt my parent tuk me frm him in d last beatin dat ended up in d hospital...dnt blame for such marriage den,i ws jus too young den to av diverge into it ooo dou i blame mysef bt nt much cos i av d best beautiful & intelligent girls...some guys ar nice.I like u already. Just tell d guy d truth about ur kids. If he loves u unconditionally he'll still marry u. Cheers. 2 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Enasco1(m): 9:32am On Oct 02, 2014 |
We shud nt crucify d ladies pls,,,, if we are a saying we can't marry a lady who has a child from her previous r/ship, what abt guys dat also have kids from their previous affair. Are ladies nt goin 2 marry them ![]() |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 9:34am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Midehi: i am a single lady & a guy is hell bend to marry me,am stil wonderin why he's so much in luv dat he a single guy is plannin to see my parent...i ask him dou & hs response ws am calm,beautiful & respetful,we luv each oda so much bt am stil scared if his peopl wil acept me wit 2 girls who ar alwys wit my mother....i fell into marriage wen i ws 19 to a guy who ws dump by hs fiancee & settld on me cos he ws gettin old bt wen i enterd...omo see beatin ooo,hes vry fast on hiting on any slightest mstake, i endured neva wntd to leave bt my parent tuk me frm him in d last beatin dat ended up in d hospital...dnt blame for such marriage den,i ws jus too young den to av diverge into it ooo dou i blame mysef bt nt much cos i av d best beautiful & intelligent girls...some guys ar nice.God bless u . u have made a point clear dat I have been hammering on if u have been following my post. I don't agree or buy into d idea of a girl marrying in her teen except like in d case of Kanu Kwanko(footballer). here her future is guaranted. dats y I said if u are a girlvface ur studies forget about boyfriend for now. if after leaving secobdary school., no money to further., go and learn something.....hair dresssing .,tailoring etc. u will add value to ur life for God sake. some girls are just to lazy and cannt think. dey feel what is inbetween deir legs will do d magic. it is a lie. pressure is so much on men today dat if u add a little from what u earn to d upkeep of d home dey will value u rather dan believing in dat thing in between ur legs. if girls don't heed to warning dey will learn in a hard way.... my humble self |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:37am On Oct 02, 2014 |
khiaa:I don't pray for that sha even God forbid am 4 you self ....vigin* birth lo sure ju |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Enasco1(m): 9:38am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Midehi: i am a single lady & a guy is hell bend to marry me,am stil wonderin why he's so much in luv dat he a single guy is plannin to see my parent...i ask him dou & hs response ws am calm,beautiful & respetful,we luv each oda so much bt am stil scared if his peopl wil acept me wit 2 girls who ar alwys wit my mother....i fell into marriage wen i ws 19 to a guy who ws dump by hs fiancee & settld on me cos he ws gettin old bt wen i enterd...omo see beatin ooo,hes vry fast on hiting on any slightest mstake, i endured neva wntd to leave bt my parent tuk me frm him in d last beatin dat ended up in d hospital...dnt blame for such marriage den,i ws jus too young den to av diverge into it ooo dou i blame mysef bt nt much cos i av d best beautiful & intelligent girls...some guys ar nice.wow, if u re actually tellin us d truth, I LOVE ur courage 4 airing it. Pls let d guy knw abt ur past. Worry less abt his family though u re gettin married 2 his family. He x not goin 2 b Broadcasting it 2 every member of hx family abt hx wife's past. It shud b btwn U n Him,,,,, wish u happi Marriage!!!!! 3 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 9:40am On Oct 02, 2014 |
PAINGAIN: I like u already. Just tell d guy d truth about ur kids. If he loves u unconditionally he'll still marry u. Cheers.simple. a very good advice. tell it as it is |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 9:41am On Oct 02, 2014 |
ericessien24: after training the child to the peak,won't the same man come and claim paternity and daddy? u should know the real father of a baby is always the father. This is not true, DNA doesn't make you a father/mother, love does. Here in the US if you marry a single mother/father you can also adopt the child and he/she will legally be yours, the biological (sperm doner /egg mother) will not have any rights. Before adopting the child you will have to get the biological (sperm doner/egg mother) to sign over his/her rights to the adoptive parent and believe me most of the time there will be no hesitance because he/she didn't want the responsibilities of the child in the first place. Now, if said sperm doner/egg decides he/she suddenly wants to play daddy/mommy after years of neglect and abandonment, he/she will have to go to court to detest the adoption but it would be hard to prove to a judge that he/she will be a good father/mother and provider after years of abandonment. I tried to make it equal. ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Jwestik: 9:42am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Yes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by akoaki(m): 9:44am On Oct 02, 2014 |
As a man,I think the age of the mother and child has an important role to play in the matter. If the child is of primary school age and the mother is less than 30 yrs , the child will see you as his father and the mother can still have kids for you. But if the kid is grown , the woman will be more emotionally attached to the child, sometimes seeing him/her as her "husband" -the way african mothers talk. 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Angel15(f): 9:45am On Oct 02, 2014 |
It is well oh! duno what to say but i know that what will be will be, no matter how many hell nos and heaven yeses.. Most times we cant explain what comes to us, it just happens. never say never. I'm proud being one and i thank God everyday for it. 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:52am On Oct 02, 2014 |
CharmO1: Wow! Many comments, mostly negative. I'm a single mother. I did the same thing many ladies have done and will always do: s3x. But I did what only a brave woman with a conscience would do, I kept my son. I laughed when I read some HELL NO's. Better a tokunbo. Car than a car that was wrecked in an accident and then panel-beat, repainted, and repackaged as new. I haven't had issues with men looking down on me because I'm independent and I don't even allow a man I'm dating meet my son. I don't want my son seeing different men in my life. It's only that lucky man that would have the priviledge of meeting him though adopting him is out of the question cos my family won't let him out of their sight. Fertility is not guaranteed because a woman has given birth but there's a higher chance of fertility and if there are no kids after marriage, then na the man get problem be that. As someone rightly said, it takes a mature mind and a good heart to be with a single mother because honestly we hardly trust because we've been hurt deeply before. I haven't met any promiscuous single mother. Strangely, most single mothers can close legs tight because of fear of being used and dumped. My advice to single mothers, don't be desperate, rely on God's time. It will happen for you too. And also be financially independent so no man calls you a gold-digger. And no matter what love your child/children because a man can break your heart and abandon you but your kid(s) are yours forever. |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by obataala(m): 9:55am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Big YES!!!, Only if she shows she's did learned some lessons from that episode of her life,subconciously ready to enjoy her next journey, the 1st been an experiment and ready to move on. The indicators would be she's calm and respectful, does not demonize men, not on any revengeful mission against the opposite sex, showers lots of love on the child not seeing he/she as her nightmare-the reason of her unhappiness, her shattered life, industrious,peaceful in her home & her environment, not bitter & hangry, or display agression or temper of any kind, ambitious, accountable, good hygienic sense, neat, must not always be looking for financial Favour from every one she meets & pester them, advisable, listens, keep less male friends, not under the influence of other women-i hate that association. As a person I've always had this thought that if they had been attentive and observant, for instance, in a 1st marriage, they would hv built on their knowledge of the psychology of the male and that of marriage, and where the marriage can no longer continue..... (Reasons) they ll come out as grown,mature,wiser-a godess with the Will.. . It can only make the joy of a man hit the roof coz the awkwardness,anxiety & conformity of characters both in a new and old relationship can quickly & always be dealth with without fatal harm, better for the man looking to go into a really serious relationship and the woman that has always prepared herself. Man has always want his emotion ruled, but not his ego!, a thousand dollar fact & only but few women know & use it, every time it is used, it create a spark within us & we feel alive. I crave for such understanding, maturity and commitment from a woman. |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 9:59am On Oct 02, 2014 |
On a normal situation, and all things being equal, 99% of Nigerian guys who have never been married before will never marry a lady that has a child; no need for us to be deceiving ourselves cos we r online. Pls dear single ladies, say NO to unwantedd pregnancy pls n pls! And guys pls stop impregnating a girl when u know u aren't ready to marry or take responsibility of the child; its a crime against humanity n nature won't be happy with you. |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Fourwinds: 9:59am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Enasco1: We are all tackling dx issue from d ladies side!!!! X not wrong 2 date n marry a lady dat already has a child from her previous relationship, d only issue I personally have wt them x dat many of them do hide d child from d new guy. Wot stops u from tellin him abt ur past right from d first date. A lady who dated 1 guy n got pregnant bt did nt marry him n a lady who dated abt 6 guys n had up to 6 abortions, whic x betterin d first place y abortion. wen pikin think say e know pass him papa na e be d result of abortion. don't u know if u have sex it can lead to pregnancy.? so y d pretence. now if u accept it will., y going into sex when u are not ready for d outcome. so abortion shouldn't have come into d picture. den d child out of wedlock., check in most cases it is still carelessness on d part of wayward children. u wan taste se..x whether d thing sweet. but u no wan go thru weti elders dey do. but u believe u are smart by using corner-corner banging for clubbing. school hide out and parties. sabi d child don come. u cannt play God |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by khiaa(f): 10:00am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Hishuula: I don't pray for that sha even God forbid am 4 you self ....vigin* birth lo sure ju Ok you are right, but there are exercises a woman can do to tighten up after childbirth. 2 Likes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by ronald4lif(m): 10:01am On Oct 02, 2014 |
I can marry a single mom, makes no difference to me from the regular girls out there |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by MERCIESGATE(m): 10:03am On Oct 02, 2014 |
It is easier said than done marrying a Baby mama,what about if the father of the child is still alive,and in most cases the father is and the implication here is the father of the child will always come around to see his child and is very obvious sex can always take place especially when you are not around.so the best for me is not to even date them let alone of marrying a baby mama. |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:03am On Oct 02, 2014 |
khiaa:sure |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by nneh1(f): 10:06am On Oct 02, 2014 |
[b][/b]Noooooooooooooooooooo . Any guy that has a child should go back to his baby mama. 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:06am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Reading through the comments from the single mothers here got my eyes wet, jeez!!! Life, sighs. Guys ps stop all these irresponsibilities plsss...God is watching o, jeez! Its really not easy to be a female o, na wa |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by RhemaDavids(f): 10:10am On Oct 02, 2014 |
am a single mother, I broke up with ma ex cos he had to first ask his mum if he can marry me or not, and when his mum said Y not, he came back to propose I refused cos he wasn't man enough.I.have a man in my life who adore me so much and is looking forward to taking me down the aisle baby or no baby. so is just your.heart and love 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by miqos02(m): 10:12am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Yes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by miqos02(m): 10:14am On Oct 02, 2014 |
AdeniyiA: At least it shows her fertility, how do you explain a lady who had had several unprotected intimacy not having a baby, it's either she's done abortions or she's infertile, either way what's d assurance she'd be able to conceive when married / dhardline: Its still ok to marry a lady who already has a child,those who dont have yet do you know how many abortions(murder)they have committed?no body holy pass.food for thought |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Nobody: 10:15am On Oct 02, 2014 |
RhemaDavids: am a single mother, I broke up with ma ex cos he had to first ask his mum if he can marry me or not, and when his mum said Y not, he came back to propose I refused cos he wasn't man enough.I.have a man in my life who adore me so much and is looking forward to taking me down the aisle baby or no baby. so is just your.heart and loveIn Africa, a man alone doesn't marry a wife; its always a family affair. Any guy from a responsible family will get his parents' approval before marrying a lady, except his parents are late. So its not bad that he went to ask for his mum's approval...its traditional and even Christianly, and such marriage last than those done without parental consent- the city-marriage, which crash so easily cos it lacks root and most times it ends up in a ghost partner marriage, pls open your eyes my sister. 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by rigview: 10:16am On Oct 02, 2014 |
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ![]() |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Enasco1(m): 10:18am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Fourwinds:ok. U re yet 2 anx d question!! Tins go wrong. From ur statement u re sayin pple shud desist from indecent act when dy re not ready 2 take responsibility 4 it. Good. But when d table nw go d other way. She x now pregnant. Wot x ur tak on it!!!! |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by vm26: 10:18am On Oct 02, 2014 |
databoy247: wow.....lotsa comments. Where are the ladies naw? we are reading.i am a single mum so i have no comment |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by obagangan: 10:19am On Oct 02, 2014 |
It's not a deases, just take a look at the reason behind it. For me yes |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by obagangan: 10:20am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Yes b'cos no bi sickness |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Enasco1(m): 10:21am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Jamean: Well said, so in other words; if your sister, close female relation or female friend you wish well unfortunately becomes a baby mama - No one should marry her?I love dx question!!! U actually asked d right question. He shud put hx sister, female frd, or relative in d pix n anx us,,, 1 Like |
Re: Can You Marry Someone Who Has A Child? by Harkinyhemmy(m): 10:22am On Oct 02, 2014 |
Why should I, Na me born am |
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