QMark:

1. Marriage is the second best feeling to heaven (if you marry your friend) and hell (when you marry a stranger). Marry your friend. It gets to a time in life when it's no longer about the beauty, the six packs, the way s/he walks/smiles, how strong/romantic s/he is in bed e.t.c. It gets to a time when it's no longer how much you love him/her, but how much you want to be with him/her. How much of each other's company you enjoy. If you have to endure through a 3 straight hours of just sitting down and talking, then i doubt how much of your friend he/she is.

2. There is no such thing as 100% perfect marriage. They have lived happily together as husband and wife for 50 years does not mean it was all honey. Healthy communication opens up the room for forgiveness. ...and yes, I mean, no matter the sin.

3. Scared of what? Being imprisoned? Yes, I agree with you. Marriage is a prison. But my point in (1) above determines what kind of prison (fun or pain). Marry your friend.

In my grandpa's words, "Yes, I agree that it is most important you love each other, but love is not the glue that keeps you together forever, friendship is"

layi: I am married and i can tell you the only real issue is finance. You MUST get $$$ . money is stronger than 'human' luv

socrateez: The success or failure of marriage depends on the mindset with which it is approached. If you expect problems and provide an open door for separation or divorce, that's how your marriage would be; but if you expect to live harmoniously with your spouse, that's what it will also turn out to be. So, it depends on the foundation you lay.
Some of the ways you can predict how a marriage would be include
1. How you met your spouse; is it in a party? Mr Biggs?
2. What are his/her views on marriage? For instance, I will never allow my daughter marry any young man who believes in divorce. If you look around, you'll see that issues that make some marriages crumble are small compared with what other marriages are facing yet, the stay together and resolve them.
3. What are his/her religious beliefs? Don't marry anyone whose religious conviction is poles apart from yours.
4. What are his/her values? Do you have the same values? Do you attache the same level of importance to the same thing?
5. Does he/she have direction or purpose in life? I see many young people today who are loafers, without any sense of direction in life. Today they want to be a musician, tomorrow they are into something else. If you ask "where do you see yourself in 2024" and the response is a jumble mumble, you know he/she is a wanderer in life. If you jump into the same boat with a person who is drifting through life, you will find yourself where you don't expect.

I must add that God never designed marriage to be a prison, its the society that labelled it so. Marriage is a wonderful experience of life in which you find joy and fulfillment. We hear so much of failed marriages because the society does not celebrate successful ones.

QMark:

1. Marriage is the second best feeling to heaven (if you marry your friend) and hell (when you marry a stranger). Marry your friend. It gets to a time in life when it's no longer about the beauty, the six packs, the way s/he walks/smiles, how strong/romantic s/he is in bed e.t.c. It gets to a time when it's no longer how much you love him/her, but how much you want to be with him/her. How much of each other's company you enjoy. If you have to endure through a 3 straight hours of just sitting down and talking, then i doubt how much of your friend he/she is.

2. There is no such thing as 100% perfect marriage. They have lived happily together as husband and wife for 50 years does not mean it was all honey. Healthy communication opens up the room for forgiveness. ...and yes, I mean, no matter the sin.

3. Scared of what? Being imprisoned? Yes, I agree with you. Marriage is a prison. But my point in (1) above determines what kind of prison (fun or pain). Marry your friend.

In my grandpa's words, "Yes, I agree that it is most important you love each other, but love is not the glue that keeps you together forever, friendship is"

FunnyPikincom: Why should You be scared of getting married in the first place? If your papa and mama were scared, do u think you will be alive to type this Jamb Question?


Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alyhi Wassalam) has said, "O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him." (Bukhari and Muslim).

amaprincess: One thing i like about this section is, there are so many matured minds here.
Some said marriage is sweet, beautiful and all that, but even with all the sweet comments couples give about their marriages, we still see high rate of divorce, violence and separation.
In the society today, you see so many matured men and women due for marriage, but there are not given it consideration at all.
so many are scared. others, lost interest due to horrible heart break experiences and so many reasons.
i know marriage is not a do or die affairs, but it looks good and mystery some how. imagine two people with different upbringing, background. coming together to tolerate each other, Iive as one till the end of time, it looks amazing.
Now to those already in their marriage, pls enlighten us.
1. how do you feel being married? do you feel chain/tied down by one person for the rest of your life, or how do you see it?
2. what are the things that happen in marriage that change everything forever. like sins that cant be forgiven. its common with men once a women cheats, its unforgivable. although i dont support cheating either.
3. what words of advice can you give a young man/lady who desire marriage but scared. based on what you are experiencing now either positive or negative. what can you tell someone who is afraid of entering into marriage, so he/she don't fail (divorce).
pls honest contributions pls
Thank you.

Yields: I'm definitely scared of marriage. It's hard to find people who're faithful and loyal out there. I've to find someone who's going to give me the same respect, otherwise I'mma stay single. I cannot stand cheaters. I've a friend whose husband (well, now, soon to be ex-husband; they're getting divorced) told her last year that he had slept with prostitutes. They're Chinese. They've only been married for 4 years. To make matters worse, he wants to go back to China to pursue a music career ( "his dream" ) and because he's a PR she's not sure if she can get child support from him. They have two 2-year old twin girls and she just gave birth to a baby boy in June, but had to sell their home and move in with her parents so they can help take care of her and the kids while she gets herself back together. She has a Lawyer now, so we'll see how it goes. She has warned me, "When it comes to marriage, please be careful with choosing a man" and gave me a bunch of advice. Anyway, seeing what she's going through now and my own experiences, I know just how important it is when finding a suitable life partner. If I don't find the right person for me, I'm ready to be single until Jesus returns.

UyiIredia: @ Yields: You need help. Perfection resides in heaven. GO and multiply.

bennygreat1: If and ONLY if you find the right Woman OR Man... Then get Married,don't be scared..

The Right One matters in the life of every individual.

That's Y the scripture says: He who finds a Wife/husband finds a GOOD tin..

Ciao.

Bryan12: I don't know but I think mod needs to do something about this guy.

MadCow1: [b]Advice for those too chicken to get married..


To be Honest, marriage is not rocket science. The difference between marriage and dating is that piece of paper that allows you both to conjugate legally. There is no right age per se or time per se to be married, just the right person. There are days when you will feel trapped, there are days when your ex looks like she/he should have been the one, there are days when you will feel like maybe I should have waited a bit longer, there are days when you would wish to take a months leave from marriage and go enjoy life a bit and then return, there are days when you will miss the single life, there are days when you just want to kill your partner and get the life insurance money and then run off to a tropical Island and live happily ever after in a house full of vixens . But all these still does not make marriage any less fun.

All you need is the right person and the right attitude.. Someone you are emotionally, psychologically, domestically, physically, financially and intellectually in sync with and above all Comfortable with. Someone who makes you comfortable and puts your troubled mind at ease. A person who is both friend, confidant, therapist, Pastor, parent, etc to you. Someone you respect and trust.

Now like with everything in life, mistakes do happen where we choose the wrong person for what we thought then to be the right reasons, etc.. and it's okay to make such mistakes, that is why divorce is an available option for couples in distressed marriages. Feel free to break up from a bad and irredeemable marriage and start again as I don't agree that all marriages are for life or that a person should be forced to be in an unhappy marriage no matter what. But this still shouldn't discourage a person from getting married. The number of divorce still isn't higher than those of long lasting marriages. It's just that you hear more about divorces than marriage anniversaries as bad news spreads faster.


When you are in a good marriage, you never or rather rarely ever feel trapped..

Secondly.. There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin in marriage.. What's unforgivable is repetition. So say he slaps you once, it's nothing. But when it becomes a habit that is recurrent, then it's abusive and that relationship is toxic.

My advice for those who want to get married is simple... If you are convinced in your heart and in your head that you have met the right person, please go ahead and get married. Should it later become apparent that you have made a mistake by marrying your partner, get a divorce immediately. [/b]

QMark:

1. Marriage is the second best feeling to heaven (if you marry your friend) and hell (when you marry a stranger). Marry your friend. It gets to a time in life when it's no longer about the beauty, the six packs, the way s/he walks/smiles, how strong/romantic s/he is in bed e.t.c. It gets to a time when it's no longer how much you love him/her, but how much you want to be with him/her. How much of each other's company you enjoy. If you have to endure through a 3 straight hours of just sitting down and talking, then i doubt how much of your friend he/she is

In my grandpa's words, "Yes, I agree that it is most important you love each other, but love is not the glue that keeps you together forever, friendship is"

i so love dis topic. i also love dis first point nd believe in it but then wat if dat friend you love so much is rejected by circumstances. how ll one handle it. how will one build anoda friendship to make a lover. i av dis friend and weve been close for more than two years now. we suddenly started loving each oda dat we feel comfortable with no oda opposite sex except with each other. but the problem now is that there are some funny and complicated circumstances surrounding the two of us dating let alone getting married. this is giving me headache. i want to love my friend too and not a stranger. i want somebody not anybody. how do i manage a stranger to be my friend or lover

UchihaMadara: I am scared of 2 things:

1. Running out of air freshener in the bathroom, I need a woman that can guarantee me that there will always be air-freshener in the bathroom. Please always use it when you finish with your business.

2. My wife getting fat, I once had a nightmare that I got married and she just started expanding from the first day till she swallowed me. The wife I marry must make a commitment like I have made to never put on unnecessary pounds, that's why gyms were created.