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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Nigerian Men: Respect (4931 Views)
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Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by fs(f): 8:39pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
Sapphic: I understand what you mean Sapphic, but personally I wouldn't recommend that. That's just me. I've heard from many non Nigerians that it's better to live together first so you learn your partner's habits, and then some of these same people, say things change when you get married. If you're lving together before you get married and then you get married things change. What has really changed? It works for some though (if you have no underlying beliefs) that hinder you from doing it, sure. I personally believe that if you're close to your partner. If both of you are honest with each other (no fronting and all that crap), you'll know what you're getting into. How would you not know if your guy cooks? How would you not know if he only does it because he's not married? Don't you have discussions? I know quite a number of guys that cook, my husband, my brother in law, a couple of guy friends, and they all still cook after marriage. That's just an example. You have discussions with them and you get to understand their core beliefs. I wish the best for everyone. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by funkybaby(f): 8:47pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
fs: Spot on. Regular and effective communication between you and your partner is essential in any relationship Every other thing will fall in place including mutual respect for each other. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by NubianQ(f): 9:43pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
if a man wants respect. give, if that helps his ego, just give it to him. simple, dont lose urself in the process though |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 9:45pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
WHAT? NubiabQ? na u be that? r u for real? where you and vivaladiva go hide? |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by MaiSuya(m): 9:50pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
Sisi Jinx:haka ne! haka ne! *dances with her* but pls dont bow to me o!; only God deserve that Sisi Jinx: No madam. Those duties are primarily those of the wife; however, like I said earlier, I would GLADLY do them if ,firstly, she recognizes them as being primarily hers, and secondly, she asks NICELY. Sisi Jinx: BEAUTIFUL!! now you are talking. The best way to make life easier for each other is when each party sticks to his/her roles. shikena |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 10:16pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
Sapphic: wow ,what if you seems not to like somethings about him ,do you move on to live with another man,for how long are you gonna be living with different men ,the point is we all have our differences and the ability to understand and copy with things makes it work. tell me most people are still working where they working now cos they are coping with the stress of the work and the money involved, so if you want to stay married try n cope |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by fs(f): 10:17pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
Mai Suya: Mai Suya, if that's what you want, that's fine. Find a woman that fits that description, I'm sure they are out there. I'm assuming though, that this means that you'll be doing 100% of the working right? You'll be the only one working, while she takes care of the home? Just keep both of you happy. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by DaPhoenix(f): 11:06pm On Jan 21, 2009 |
First off, I'll like to thank you all for your views. It's nice to see how opinionated Nairaland can be lol. I think I agree most with the reciprocation idea. You cannot or let me say, should not make your wife or girlfriend a slave all in the name of respect. If you love her right, she'll respect in ways you never imagined. Also, I do not know where people are getting this notion that house chores are a woman's work. She has a job too, you know? She is contributing to the family financial well-being like a partner is supposed to. She can't do some of the house work before she goes to work then come back from work and do the rest . . . afterall, she isn't living in the house alone. If she is at work or she is shopping for the family and you are home and hungry, it's best you don't feel disrespected, get off the couch, go into the fridge and make yourself something to eat. If you can't cook, ask her for cooking lessons. That will be a way to make her feel special and at the same time bond with her. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Tawak: 12:20am On Jan 22, 2009 |
[i]RESPECT CAN ONLY BE EARNED IF ITS RECIPROCAL[/i] |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Sapphic: 2:27am On Jan 22, 2009 |
teddyseun: The thing in in life we make our choices. There are somethings that we can live with or adapt to and there are others that we just can't. If when you guys are living together, you feel this is not something you'd be happy with, then by all means, leave. there are people who have discovered that their partners are control freaks, go through their things looking for evidence of infidelity, some guys expect their spouses/partners to be home 30minutes after they have closed from work, no going out, no phone calls to/from friends, they may be unhelpful slobs etc. i am not saying that it is a sure fire way, I am just saying that it could give an indication to the type of person you would be living with for the rest of your life. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by CrudeOil2(m): 9:37am On Jan 22, 2009 |
Nigerian men this, Nigerian men that. What do you know about nigerian men? All you women do is generalise and stereotype nigerian men in a very negative way. Every human being is different, because you meet a nigerian man that is disrespectful to you doesnt mean all nigerian men are like that. Next time you raise topics like these, back them up with facts and stop generalising. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by JJYOU: 10:48am On Jan 22, 2009 |
wonders of being young, mis guided and naive. life is so easy if you learn to relax and not war against yourself, i am sure nigerian men disprecting women made some become lesbians would be the next news on NL DaPhoenix:i am beginning to think majority of the younger men are safer marrying outside africa. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by vanderjo(m): 11:29am On Jan 22, 2009 |
For a man to respect you,first you have to respect who you are cuz it all starts from there,you cannot be a LovePeddler and expect respect from your man,if you a woman that knows what you want,i will respect you,infact i give too much respect to women that knows who they are,and respects themselves,moreover when a man truely loves a woman,naturally he won't like to hurt that woman and the respect will always be there,agreed most Nigerian men has ego problem and the would want to show thier"bruise ego".that is why they do not respect women but there are lots of us that respect women in nigeria.i am certainly one of them. hush. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by ladej(m): 1:24pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
a man craves respect but only the men who respect themselves and their women get the ultimate respect. plus u need to fire her well well, lol |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by DaPhoenix(f): 3:34pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
Crude Oil: Try to stop blabbing like one with common sense and start reading. This thread was not about the disrespectful things Nigerian men do, matter of fact, far from that. I was asking about what kind of things would I do as a woman that he will find disrespectful or respectful. It is a thread that was created for us to clearly see where the boundaries are. So stop whining like little child. God forbid that I would bash you men like I have nothing more important to do. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by DaPhoenix(f): 3:37pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
van der jo: Ch . . . did the women have sex with themselves? Many guys are celebrating losing their virginity by 15 and slutting around by 17 yet they expect to knock on some woman's door and find her keeping herself for him. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by DaPhoenix(f): 3:38pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
JJYOU: It's funny because that is where you'll find the likes of us. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Magz(m): 3:58pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
Respect ought to come naturally, automatically. Respect is also very abstract and hard to "define", but when in a relationship, we can surely recognize it. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by SisiJinx: 4:02pm On Jan 22, 2009 |
JJYOU: van der jo: Why would you marry or go out with a LovePeddler??!!! |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 1:14pm On Jan 23, 2009 |
I was trying to say most Naija girls especially the working class and educated wont take such.Unless they are Old Cargo,Illiterate and Desperate. cant say it better. Good reply from FS (NY), but Daphonix you are being too oyibo, let have education but not take hook, line and sinker what we learn from our white host. Respect cant be discussed in isolation, love must be assosiated, i can do anything for my lady cos i love her. Some people are educated but that does not necessaryly make for effective communication, thanks to the guy who talked about massaging a man's ego. If that is anything to go by then my wife can get me to do just about anything for her. it can be compare to playing ball with her. If you toss the ball loopping it gently, it would be safe for her to catch, but try flinging it to her. it would hurt. Same goes to the woman |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by whitelexi(m): 1:43pm On Jan 23, 2009 |
She will play ball oh When the time comes. . . Equal rights is just 2 words, even in its current popularity it is still a man's world. As i always say, thats how God created it to be. A woman is only but 1 rib and was created to help man and keep him company - not to enslave him |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by beknown(m): 3:32pm On Jan 23, 2009 |
All, I have read many contribution from many of you on this thread. I feel some contributors are trying to be angry because of past experience. Remember that people are different in character and behaviour. People are brought up in different ways. It is better to get married than live a life of cohabiting. Every woman and man must recognise their role as God destined it. Any attempt to change it will be disaster. The situation in UK and USA are not better than Nigeria. Man and woman exists everywhere. Bad and good behaviour also exist everywhere. Nigeria men are not worse than men in UK or USA. Nigeria men may be better in many ways depending on measurement criteria. For example, how many Nigerian men will like their beloved wife to work on construction site or do any hurrible job? In a ship, somebody must be in-charge. Likewise, in a home, somebody must be in-charge. Love covers a multitude of sin. Husband and wife must live together in harmony. When God gave man and woman their responsibilities, he was not joking. God knew that many people will try to be too big for their shoes. I have lived in Nigeria, UK, USA and some countries in Europe. I can only say that life in Nigeria has no equal - no rush and calm. The only problem in Nigeria is the lack of electricity. Cherish your wife or your husband. Married life is about two people - man and woman. Work together to make the relationship work. What is wrong with husband or wife doing the cooking? It is a matter of genuine love and understanding. Greetings. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Nobody: 6:06pm On Jan 23, 2009 |
I'll say treat each man individually, not as the collective idea of "the Nigerian man". What one considers as respect could be different to another. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by MrCrackles(m): 6:08pm On Jan 23, 2009 |
stillwater: Brilliant! Stupid generalizations is rampant on this forum and amongst its users! |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Gabrille(m): 12:08am On Jan 25, 2009 |
i know a coupla men that need a companion wifey not a house girl. me inclusive. |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by Taurusbull: 4:20pm On Jan 25, 2009 |
*This thing is kinda relative. u don't expect a big tommy daddy in his own mansion with a few cars in the drive way to see what's in the kitchen unless he wants to. *If he makes u a fulltime house wife then u have no excuses for not handling 'all' the domestic hassles. *If u will get a black eye for talking while he's talking, then please don't talk or "u know what" and I'm not sure u want to re-marry(not common here). |
Re: Nigerian Men: Respect by ladykool(f): 1:04am On Jan 26, 2009 |
to me i don't think there really is any different from the men in uk,us or america and i also agree that there are terrible nigerian men who really lack respect for their ladies expecially the ones in london they try to act all kool and big as if they are all that but really they are just as broke as anything and honestly i really wouldn't date nigerian men here cuz of their lack of respect! |
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