@Donzman

The way I see it:

African = Man/Woman born in Africa

Black American = American of African origin

Afro-Carribean = Man/Woman born in the Carribean of African origin.

You should get the drift by now.

I don't care about the way you see it.

However, I am curious to know, what gives you the right to tell me who I am? If I say I am African, you or no one else can tell me different.

I gather your way of seeing it it also do to your prejudices against other black people. Your way of seeing it, more than likely has to do with blood.

This reads like ya'll are talking in circles.

Let me play the unpopular arbitrator & say:

(a) A different culture is not a lesser culture or said differently, if someone says a culture is "not the same" that is not necessarily a put down.

(b) Naijas do live in a "commune" or whatever. Know folks been here +30 years & they made it w/o B.A. b/c they had to. No one was helping them. They helped each other.

(c) Some people "blend in", some don't. Neither is a crime.

(d) Not all or even a majority of Nigerian marriages are held together by "tradition". Just b/c you don't know why a man/woman would stick w/ their spouse doesn't mean it's wrong. (I know people who married the person their family most hated & are loving that person.)

(e) Not all Americans are monogamous, married or not.

Almost forget,

(f) The majority of Nigerians are in Nigeria. People immigrate to have better lives not to strip their identities or cultures. Also, many (a majority) of Naijas in the US don't want to "die here" as they say. They're trying to see their kiddies t/o school at least, and then they'll reevaluate. I for one, I'm trying to book out too . .

@Chinani

The majority of Nigerians are in Nigeria. People immigrate to have better lives not to strip their identities or cultures. Also, many (a majority) of Naijas in the US don't want to "die here" as they say. They're trying to see their kiddies t/o school at least, and then they'll reevaluate. I for one, I'm trying to book out too . .

Why can't they make a better life in Nigeria?

No one said that had to strip of their identity's but they should repsect other peoples identity's.

Naijas do live in a "commune" or whatever. Know folks been here +30 years & they made it w/o B.A. b/c they had to. No one was helping them. They helped each other.

What?

Sista:

Why can't they make a better life in Nigeria?

B/c of the political & economic situation. [Someone I know] came to the US & got his PhD here then went back to Naija to teach, but it was just too dangerous b/c of the ideas -- if you are not popular w/ the state then you could die. So should he die? Or should he live and help his family? It's a hard decision to make. No one who hasn't made it should judge it.

Naijas do live in a "commune" or whatever. Know folks been here +30 years & they made it w/o B.A. b/c they had to. No one was helping them. They helped each other.

What?

You said that Africans can't live in a "commune". I'm saying they can & they do. For better or worse.

@ sistah you sound wounded.
I can also cut and paste,delete and analyse but choose not to.

Nigerians are here and here to stay so get used to it.We came here willingly and can return and do return when we want to.
Nigerians in this country are hard workers.Many are professionals in the best of places and most got there by hard work and Gods grace so I doubt  if any would be auditioning in your choir.

I am Nigerian,Africa is my continent,I have never introduced myself as African,it is not a nationality and don't know any Nigerians that do.
How many times have you called yourself a north american?
Do we think ourselves better than anyone?That is an individual question.
I, for one am proud of my Nigerianness and I make no apologies for it.

And as for what I have done to help the AA situation,I owe you no explanations.
It is not your business so quit asking.

Speaking of AIDS,I wonder if the AA group in America with highest incidence and mortality rate contracted it from Africans and Nigerians.

Sista:

@Chinani


Why can't they make a better life in Nigeria?

No one said that had to strip of their identity's but they should repsect other peoples identity's.


What?

what is that identity?Single motherhood by choice is what I spoke against and it seemed to have struck a chord.
To answer your first question why do your men with money prefer white girls and you move out of the ghetto when you have better means?
It is all a matter of choice.
We live here by choice.
I have seen your type many times over asking why these Africans are moving here then turn around and accuse the white man for keeping you down.

Hmmm, una don turn the girl thread to Parliament. When she ends up with a White man now, all of you will be jumping up and down like Amadioha is pursuing you.

lol @ mochafella.

Wow, this is funny I am reading the argument against "sista" and "babyosisi",  Wow, that is fierce, but I do have to say that Sista has a point, she explains everything throughly and convinced me about what she was talking about. Babyosisi seems to be getting on the bone about things. But I'm mad that I was called  a "poor" girl, as if I am wayword. Okay,  But that's alright, guys, it's not that serious, it was just a simple question, all it needed was a simply reply with your own opinion backed with it. There was no need for all these little "debates" to have started. But this is a forum so what can I say? Basically, I feel that yes there is a predujice (sp?) amongst Nigerians and AA's. But I feel that if you were born and raised in Nigeria marry a Nigerian. If you were mostly raised in America and you have adapted the "tastes" of the AA's, then you have whatever choice you can make. For you guys information, let me give you a little background on my boy.

1) He is not a bastard, he has two parents
2) He has lived with his parents all his life
3) His parents are in a loving relationship, and have raised him well
4) He was born in Germany
5) His mom is Jamaican and his dad is an AA
6) He has some sort of culture since his mom is Jamaican

And obviously his mom didn't care about marrying a Jamaican or an AA, because that is what she loved and found care in. So that's the bottom line.

Lol, thanks guys about the "I"m smart comments",

yeah, i'm not some rambunctious teenager, I'm smart too, lol,

Uju my sister the choice is yours,I met you in another thread(The Igbo thread) and knew you were one smart 16 year old.

Your education is still paramount,boys will come and go and boys will remain.
The choice of whom you date and marry (or anyone marries)is ultimately yours.
I merely gave my opinion to the issue,I don't expect everyone to agree with me,nevertheless,they are my opinions.

Take care.

I know exactly what your saying babyosisi, I know all these "horor stories" and all these other stuffs. But I know, I will listen to what they have to say,

sorry,I modified my last posting after reading yours lol

@chinani

You changed it from your uncle to someone you know but any way.

B/c of the political & economic situation. [Someone I know] came to the US & got his PhD here then went back to Naija to teach, but it was just too dangerous b/c of the ideas -- if you are not popular w/ the state then you could die. So should he die? Or should he live and help his family? It's a hard decision to make. No one who hasn't made it should judge it.

Chinani I am aware of this type of situation believe me I am. I just needed you to tell me. I hope that the education your uncle got has helped him like he hoped it would.

I have to point something out to you though. Your uncle would not have been able to come to the US if it was not for AA fighting for civil rights. When AA's fought for civil rights, they fought for everyone, even people who were not black. Any foreigner of color who comes to America to benefit is due to AA's fighting civil rights. The only way a foreigner could get into America before civil rights was only if they were doing something for the US.

My thing is your uncle was able to do better with the help of American blacks and yet Nigerian people who come here, they talk bad about African Americans and then go back to Nigeria  to live good after getting help from black Americans. Wheather Nigerians admit to it or not. It was the blood of AA's that was shed for civil rights. Again, When AA's fought for civil rights, they fought for everyone no matter the color. That means that any foreigner who comes to America to benefit from America is all due to the blood of AA's.

I don't believe that Nigeria is even interested in helping an AA out in the least bit.

Nigerians have been known for saying that AA's have no home. Let's say this is true. America is the only place they know of as home and no one has the right to dispute that. Let's say though that an AA wanted to come to Nigeria to get some help, would he or she be allowed to? Or would he or she be able to get help? Would he or she have to assimilate into becoming fully Nigerian  like, before he or she can be helped, if he or she is first accepted? Please answer me that question?

Oh that's alright, but yes I see what you are talking about. Yes about the education, but I hate when everyone tells me that. People steady will tell me stay in your books, do this, do that, as if I am not heavily on my education. I'm not addressing about you, but just everyone in general, I know education is the most important. I regard that highly in my head, but still. I got this. I know what i'm doing. I'm just a  little boy crazy for now, I have my boundaries and limits,

Uju4eva:

Oh that's alright, but yes I see what you are talking about. Yes about the education, but I hate when everyone tells me that. People steady will tell me stay in your books, do this, do that, as if I am not heavily on my education. I'm not addressing about you, but just everyone in general, I know education is the most important. I regard that highly in my head, but still. I got this. I know what i'm doing. I'm just a little boy crazy for now, I have my boundaries and limits,

Ok O.I remember when I was 16,many many years ago.
I'm just watching out when I talk about school and stuff,I can't help it sometimes.

@Babyosi

I can also cut and paste,delete and analyse but choose not to.

If you have something to prove, by all means please do. I have nothing to hide. I know it gets nerve racking retrieving quotes but don't let laziness cause you to make up excuses

And as for what I have done to help the AA situation,I owe you no explanations.
It is not your business so quit asking.

That would be because you haven't done shyt but bump your gums about how horrible they are. Your education sure has done you some good, now you can sit proudly up on your high horse.

Speaking of AIDS,I wonder if the AA group in America with highest incidence and mortality rate contracted it from Africans and Nigerians.

It is as I said, you feel that AA's are scum, you never ceased to not show your terrible feelings about AA's

oh okay,

dang, everyone has read this thread "493 views"

I like it that this post has drawn so much attention,

maybe this may help other members that may have been thinking about what I was thinking

@Babyosi

what is that identity?Single motherhood by choice is what I spoke against and it seemed to have struck a chord.
To answer your first question why do your men with money prefer white girls and you move out of the ghetto when you have better means?
It is all a matter of choice.
We live here by choice.
I have seen your type many times over asking why these Africans are moving here then turn around and accuse the white man for keeping you down.

Again, you have shown your blatant disgust for African Americans.

Do you have any more comments that display your disgust of AA's?

Tell us more

By the way, you need to look at Nigerian men, as far as marrying white women. AA's and Nigerians have that in common. See, I told you there wasn't much of a difference.

@Mochafella

Hmmm, una don turn the girl thread to Parliament. When she ends up with a White man now, all of you will be jumping up and down like Amadioha is pursuing you.

Mocha, You are so funny.

I was thinking the same thing but you know how it goes in nairaland.

I think Uju has got a good head on her shoulders though, we don't have to worry about her to much.

@ sista,you have the last word,I hope it makes you feel better my dear sister.

@Uju4eva

Wow, this is funny I am reading the argument against "sista" and "babyosisi",  Wow, that is fierce, but I do have to say that Sista has a point, she explains everything throughly and convinced me about what she was talking about. Babyosisi seems to be getting on the bone about things. But I'm mad that I was called  a "poor" girl, as if I am wayword. Okay,  But that's alright, guys, it's not that serious, it was just a simple question, all it needed was a simply reply with your own opinion backed with it. There was no need for all these little "debates" to have started. But this is a forum so what can I say? Basically, I feel that yes there is a predujice (sp?) amongst Nigerians and AA's. But I feel that if you were born and raised in Nigeria marry a Nigerian. If you were mostly raised in America and you have adapted the "tastes" of the AA's, then you have whatever choice you can make. For you guys information, let me give you a little background on my boy.

1) He is not a bastard, he has two parents
2) He has lived with his parents all his life
3) His parents are in a loving relationship, and have raised him well
4) He was born in Germany
5) His mom is Jamaican and his dad is an AA
6) He has some sort of culture since his mom is Jamaican

And obviously his mom didn't care about marrying a Jamaican or an AA, because that is what she loved and found care in. So that's the bottom line.

Lol, thanks guys about the "I"m smart comments",

yeah, i'm not some rambunctious teenager, I'm smart too, lol,

Uju baby, this is Sista talking to ya. If you noticed, I never once gave up on you, I was the one who said you are a smart young Sister and I believed in you, just go back and reread if you did not notice.

However, Sista got to tell you something, it is not nice to call no one a bastard okay baby? If we are trying to get away from black on black prejudice we can not say things like that. Would you have liked your boyfriend any less if he did not come from a two parent home and would you have considered him to be a bastard? think about that.

An another thing, AA's do have culture baby a good one at that.

Instead of everyone talking about the bad things AA's do, they need to find out more about the good part of the culture.

I guess though if you have been influenced by the media and you get to America and see spurts of what you heard, the media will be the one you believe but it should not be that way.

@Babyosi

@ sista,you have the last word,I hope it makes you feel better my dear sister.

Babyosi, I don't care about having the last word. I am here in nairaland to learn and to teach. I love all African people and I don't care what anyone say's, I am African. Again, I love all African people, I even love you

What is wrong with marrying an African American
Answer = nothing.
I've been won over by my sister, sista.

Meanwhile sista,if you are unmarried,unentangled and find a good Nigerian man,believe me they are great.
I am talking from experience.
They can lay down their lives for you.
There are very good ones still out there one just has to look in the right places,prayerfully I might add.

The Church is a good place to start.

@Babyosis

Meanwhile sista,if you are unmarried,unentangled and find a good Nigerian man,believe me they are great.
I am talking from experience.
They can lay down their lives for you.
There are very good ones still out there one just has to look in the right places,prayerfully I might add.

Not that I care to display my personels but, I have a Nigerian Igbo man. I have been with him for a year and three months now. He is a good man and he laughs at me coming into nairaland. He has taught me a lot about Nigerians, he is one of my sources for the story's I tell about Nigerians but he is not my only source. I love him to death, we are more friends than we are anything else so we have a lighthearted relationship. I wonder though, would he be so lighthearted if we were both in Nigeria. Anyway, I will worry about that when the time comes.

But to me all black men are good, they just need a lot of black woman support. I love all my black brothers no matter where they are from.

What is wrong with marrying an African American
Answer = nothing.
I've been won over by my sister, sista.

I didn't win you over, we won together. I am glad we could have this conversation and come to a common ground but to tell you the truth, I don't think we could have done it without our young sister Uju. We should always consider our youth and what they have to say.

Thank you[b] Uju[/b]

@Sista

First off, I'm not prejudiced against anybody unlike you who is clearly prejudiced against white for whatever reason. I believe every man is equal and is ultimately responsible for their choice no matter the situation (ofcourse mentally incapable people do not count here).

Secondly, you're right! I don't have the right to tell you where you're from or who you are. That wouldn't stop me from telling you that you're American , whether you choose to believe that has nothing to do with me. You can keep being delusional about things, you better strengthen your roots down in America because you and your future generation will be there for a long time to come.

Lastly, I don't see anything wrong with marrying and AA man/woman like I stated on page 1 of this thread anyway.

@Donzman

First off, I'm not prejudiced against anybody unlike you who is clearly prejudiced against white for whatever reason.

I am going to tell you just like you told me.

Donzman, shut the hell up!

Sista:

@Donzman



I am going to tell you just like you told me.

Donzman, shut the hell up!

LMAO
Anyway,Prejudice is a relative term these days

Sista:

@Donzman



I am going to tell you just like you told me.

Donzman, shut the hell up!

If you followed my earlier instruction, we wouldn't have gotten here!

@Donzman

If you followed my earlier instruction, we wouldn't have gotten here!

Whatever.

You changed it from your uncle to someone you know but any way.

The change was intentional OBVIOUSLY. Why? b/c (a) I don't want to hear any personal nonsense w/ people saying "you're uncle, your uncle" (b) I forgot that Nairaland people don't know my govt name & (c) My uncle wouldn't appreciate me relating the story. Why did you feel the need to highlight this when I changed it so that me relation would not be highlighted? *eye roll*

I have to point something out to you though. Your uncle would not have been able to come to the US if it was not for AA fighting for civil rights. When AA's fought for civil rights, they fought for everyone, even people who were not black. Any foreigner of color who comes to America to benefit is due to AA's fighting civil rights.

No, you don't have to point that out. Everyone knows this already. No one is disputing this etc.

The only way a foreigner could get into America before civil rights was only if they were doing something for the US.

Not exactly true but the point isn't worth debating (on this thread).

I need to break this up a little . . .

My thing is your uncle was able to do better with the help of American blacks and yet Nigerian people who come here, they talk bad about African Americans

Maybe some people do, but neither me or "someone I know" do at all. "Someone I know" doesn't talk about black people at all. I keep trying to tell people it's not in our culture to really give about people who are not-us. Why gossip 'bout people you don't know?

. . . and then go back to Nigeria to live good after getting help from black Americans.

Historically black Americans have NOT helped Africans! I can ask anyone in my family, community, church & it's the same song; Black Americans don't want to be bothered w/ us. It was actually white people who helped w/ "surprise vitals" be it registration, apts, doctors, interviews etc all the way up through the 1990s. I think there's prolly been a shift since 1998, but it hasn't trickled down to the youth. Btw, my friend's father came to the US from Jamacia in the 70s & he tells the same story. (Bob Marley also had similar experiences.) Summary: This information is patently false.

Wheather Nigerians admit to it or not. It was the blood of AA's that was shed for civil rights. Again, When AA's fought for civil rights, they fought for everyone no matter the color. That means that any foreigner who comes to America to benefit from America is all due to the blood of AA's.

No one is suggesting that African Americans didn't fight for civil rights or that we do not benefit from said rights.

I don't believe that Nigeria is even interested in helping an AA out in the least bit.

Nigeria? The country? The country "Nigerian" isn't interested in helping Nigerians so don't feel bad etc. Or did you mean Nigerians?

Nigerians have been known for saying that AA's have no home.

Who? Which Nigerians? Who do you hang with? I must ask, b/c I never heard anyone say that before I logged onto Nairaland nearly 9 months ago. And just so you know, I stay down & in 22 years of being in the community, I never heard any "home" biz. We think America is their home.

Let's say this is true. America is the only place they know of as home and no one has the right to dispute that. Let's say though that an AA wanted to come to Nigeria to get some help, would he or she be allowed to?

Who's stopping him/her? Nigerians/Africans would welcome anyone into Nigeria/Africa as along as he/she behaves.

Or would he or she be able to get help?

Why would anyone who needs "help" immigrate? That doesn't make sense. People immigrate when the (a) don't need help and/or (b) already have a support network in place. Lagos is not LA, you're not going to go to the free clinic or register with the local police. Also Nigerians live w/ their people. We don't go out alone so to speak. So, no if you don't have people/helpful employer/previously established relationship you won't get help.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but that question makes no sense. Would you go to Mexico to ask strangers for "help"?

Would he or she have to assimilate into becoming fully Nigerian like, before he or she can be helped, if he or she is first accepted?

Who assimilates? Nigerians don't assimilate in the US, so why would an African American assimilate in Nigeria? I'm guessing this answer will not satisfy you but this is my lived experience. When I go to work everyday, go to the store, meet new people, they ask "Where are you from?" they say "You English is. . .". I've gotten the same comment about my mannerisms. People say, "Its doesn't make sense until I know you're Nigerian." Assimilation is when Jews get nose-jobs or Asian kids change their names to Tommy. No offense to either groups but I don't believe in reactive identities.

@chinani

The change was intentional OBVIOUSLY. Why? b/c (a) I don't want to hear any personal nonsense w/ people saying "you're uncle, your uncle" (b) I forgot that Nairaland people don't know my govt name & (c) My uncle wouldn't appreciate me relating the story. Why did you feel the need to highlight this when I changed it so that me relation would not be highlighted?  *eye roll*

I apoligize, was not trying to put you on the spot. I was just caught up in my train of thought and I could not change it. Any way, don't worry everything will be okay.

No, you don't have to point that out. Everyone knows this already. No one is disputing this etc.

I do have to point that out and I did and I will keep pointing that out as long as Nigerians keep saying that black Americans do not help them. Civil rights helped Nigerians and African Americans who helped other Nigerians get their papers helped Nigerians.

Not exactly true but the point isn't worth debating (on this thread).

I need to break this up a little . . .

If it is not true then why do you say this then,

Historically black Americans have NOT helped Africans

and say this,

No, you don't have to point that out. Everyone knows this already. No one is disputing this etc

Civil rights is history and when American blacks fought for it, they fought for everyone.

If this is not what you mean, tell me what you mean?

Maybe some people do, but neither me or "someone I know" do at all. "Someone I know" doesn't talk about black people at all. I keep trying to tell people it's not in our culture to really give about people who are not-us. Why gossip 'bout people you don't know?

Nigerians do it all the time especially in nairaland. I would not be making this up.

It was actually white people who helped w/ "surprise vitals" be it registration, apts, doctors, interviews etc  all the way up through the 1990s.

White people are in the position to help anyone sense most of them financially benefited from colonization and slavery. How about that, the same people who put your in poverty now pose as the angel that helps you.

No one is suggesting that African Americans didn't fight for civil rights or that we do not benefit from said rights.

Now this contradicts what you said here

Not exactly true but the point isn't worth debating (on this thread).

Nigeria? The country? The country "Nigerian" isn't interested in helping Nigerians so don't feel bad etc. Or did you mean Nigerians?

I meant Nigerians, aren't Nigerians usually born in Nigeria?

Who's stopping him/her? Nigerians/Africans would welcome anyone into Nigeria/Africa as along as he/she behaves.

Behaves? And what does behave require?

Why would anyone who needs "help" immigrate? That doesn't make sense. People immigrate when the (a) don't need help and/or (b) already have a support network in place. Lagos is not LA, you're not going to go to the free clinic or register with the local police. Also Nigerians live w/ their people. We don't go out alone so to speak. So, no if you don't have people/helpful employer/previously established relationship you won't get help.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but that question makes no sense. Would you go to Mexico to ask strangers for "help"?

Help does not necessarily mean a job. I am talking about needing a place to stay or needing a family to connect with. Sense A.A's have no clue about family and most of the AA children are displaced. Not my words but we won't go into that.

Who assimilates? Nigerians don't assimilate in the US, so why would an African American assimilate in Nigeria? I'm guessing this answer will not satisfy you but this is my lived experience. When I go to work everyday, go to the store, meet new people, they ask "Where are you from?" they say "You English is. . .". I've gotten the same comment about my mannerisms. People say, "Its doesn't make sense until I know you're Nigerian." Assimilation is when Jews get nose-jobs or Asian kids change their names to Tommy. No offense to either groups but I don't believe in reactive identities.

You are right about that but I am talking about do AA's have to take on the views and ways of Nigerians in order to be accepted as equals in Nigeria, or would it ever be possible for an AA to be accepted as an equal to a Nigerian?