Wedon:


And this got 121 like (and counting)

Now I've given up completely on Nigerians!!!

Not everybody was in love with their spouse from day 1 (myself including) . . . . But marriage is a commitment . . . one that requires BOTH parties to give their all.

So now who is the cheater? HE claimed to love her and couldn't live without her, how he treats her like crap . . . . so much for love!!!

no need to jump to conclusions, we ve not heard the husbands side of the story, one would assume, While am accepting yes both parties give their commitments and its not always a bed of Roses

Shebi na you wan make your husband transform and trend like tweeter ...you have to welcome the transformation with open arms..
The man don dey trend pass Facebook self

manie:



Are you sure they are still having sex together, I doubt if sex denial is the solution to this problem. I know a couple who have not had sex together in close to 2 years.
The wife denied the guy sex for 6 months, when the wife is now interested in sex because she realised that sex denial did not work for her, but unfortunately the husband is no longer interested in having sex with his wife or is it flat mate again.

It is the wife who initially denied the husband sex for 6 months that is now reporting her husband or flat mate to her pastor, the husband family and colleagues that they have not had sex in close to 2 years.

So you married someone bcuz age is nt by ur side again and u also marry him out of pity...

pls what really takes u long to getting married? u are still playing hard to get..

well, u caused it all...and who knows mayb one of the other two guyz would ave married u, if u behave well...well I fink dose guyz now will be making jest of u....u fu*ked up...

nothing can be done..unless u pray and be ready to take a 2nd wife from ur hubby

Joy1706:

Yes! Child support. They were married, he has children with her. Why shouldnt he be made to take care of his children? I'm a lawyer, I know what I'm saying.

see advert o! i bet you must be expecting her to contact you, lawyer so you claimed.. a beg no sue me o!

Op your husband i suspect is, in a deep slumber, urinate on his head and he will wake up.. problem solved

My dear wt ws lackn ws love..nt s*x. And evn if u both love each oda dt love ws'nt strong enough 4 matrimony. Some men r such dt aftr proposing n d grl accepts dia affectn reduces...u married bcs of age n bcs he ws serious u neva said u loved him 2 death..u wia building marriage on a wrong footing..keep prayn n wait 4 d Creator's anwr b4 u tk a step..its well

OmoEziokwu:
He woke up.

Lol... The three big words summarized it all.

teelady:
Ok am done reading, let say u grew to love the man u ar married to, and from the begining u were nt inlove. You ar a loyal and faithful wife,please remain that way. Your husby is in a serious infatuated relationship and u feel like breaking his head for such behaviour but i say dont. He is not in his right frame of mind right now and its obvious u dnt want to leave ur matrimonial home, woman be prayerful and dnt give him more excuse to berate u further. Y fight wit a girl he brought home....,she is nt worth it ok. Pls distract ursef from al this mess for nw, just focus on making ursef happy, takecare of ur kids, prove to ur husband that u didnt marry him out of choice bt for the fact that u also love him, pls no dulling take ursef out for a treat no old ursef. Be the person he once loved, love ursef and hopefully he would comeback to love u. IT MIGHT BE HARD FOR U TO BE PATIENT SINCE U ARE THE VICTIM, BUT BE GOOD,PATIENT AND PRAYERFUL. Pardon my poor spelling

. Thank you for this piece. I agree with you on every point raised

My advice to you is to keep calm and behave like nothing is happening nor happened, get closer to God and church activities. Reason why i said so is that, you husband and his girlfriends are trying to push you out from the game, and reporting him to your people or his people is a bad idea; bcoz 3rd parties will come in. Also do not engage in fighting those ladies coming to ur home, welcome them well and even go to the point of serving them if it warrant.
But believe me wen i say to you that, those ladies will be the one begging u for forgiveness within a short while. And also, never try been nice to your husband, bcoz it is ur love for him now that will count. As a BUCCANEER that i am , we have a norm which says; PAIN IS LOVE; LOVE IS PAIN.....
















































































































































































































































































































































































GOOD LUCK.

[color=#006600][/color][font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]
It is obvious that the marriage was not anchored in LOVE. It is only LOVE that easily fixes this type of problem in marriage. Your man ran after you; now you are running after him.
Well, my advice to you is to relax and feel as if you are ready to share your husband with another woman. It is a storm and it shall be over one day.

abbey621:



Learn to read, I purposeful put some words from her posting in bold to highlight the hidden messages within the post.

Since we are getting awards for 'guessing' . . . .

S[b]he called herself a loyal housewife with children and based on the way her husband spoke to her about the issue, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who pays the bills.[/b]

Housewife is a general time . . . could be full-time or part-time. I didn't see her classify herself as a FULL-TIME HW.

I call myself a HW all the time and I have a full time job.

Next, a woman with 3 different suitors definitely gave other guys the impression of availability. This is 9ja, most people don't become suitors without some form of dating or socializing.

Actually, a woman is AVAILABLE until she ACCEPTS a suitor's proposal. She didn't say they dated. She said he asked for her hand in marriage immediately. Any adult woman is expected to be in a relationship and every suitor is aware of that.

Most suitors ask you, are you engaged, not do you have a boyfriend?

From her post, she said the other two were only interested in sex, not marriage. She didn't say she slept with or dated any of them.

Finally, she mentioned that the husband was a nice guy and did not change till the birth of the second child, this only points to a drastic change in attraction and appeal.

IT could also be that he finally got her saddled with two kids, finally realized she was now in love with him and could no longer leave him . . so he decided to drop the act and show his true colour.

Also, We all know most men are only after the chase. A man who goes for a woman more sophisticated than him is obviously a 'chaser' . . . . Please tell me he didn't see local girls more his type, before chasing her

T[b]he reason I blamed her is because she lacks self esteem[/b], she's basically a liability and a combination of stress with opportunity is responsible for the man's actions.

WOW! You got this from her post? Did we read the same post?

Most likely he was a cheater from day one . . . he just got tired of hiding it. People just don't change . . .

This is why I mentioned in my post that only her can determine if the marriage is worth saving, most men are weak and succumb easily to female temptations, when the one at home isn't doing her duties then the temptations becomes much more. There's no excuse for the guy's actions, he's a pig but for her to think he just woke up one day and turned into a monster is outright ignorance!

You talk like men are kids and have no control over their actions. The men I know are not that way . . .

Bringing another women into your home is not only a disrepect to your wife, it's a danger to your children.

HE made that decision without considering her or his kids, but just himself. These are the actions of an extremely selfish man, if not a psychopath. I sincerely doubt if she could have done anything to change such a man.

He hid his true nature for as long as he thought necessary, to LAND her . . AND KEEP her . . .

For a man to go to such length over a woman, I doubt if she is the 'LIABILITY' you call her.

OF course we could have different definitions of that word . . . Care to explain yours?

@op, it must be very tough for you, one thing is very clear from ur story, your husband is under a spell. If u are still sleeping, its time to wake up. You need to pray very seriously. Pls dont fight anybody again, its a spiritual war not a physical one. Pray and pray, join women intercessory prayer groups like daughters of destiny ( www.daughtersofdestiny-ng.com). May God help u, Amen.

teelady:
Ok am done reading, let say u grew to love the man u ar married to, and from the begining u were nt inlove. You ar a loyal and faithful wife,please remain that way. Your husby is in a serious infatuated relationship and u feel like breaking his head for such behaviour but i say dont. He is not in his right frame of mind right now and its obvious u dnt want to leave ur matrimonial home, woman be prayerful and dnt give him more excuse to berate u further. Y fight wit a girl he brought home....,she is nt worth it ok. Pls distract ursef from al this mess for nw, just focus on making ursef happy, takecare of ur kids, prove to ur husband that u didnt marry him out of choice bt for the fact that u also love him, pls no dulling take ursef out for a treat no old ursef. Be the person he once loved, love ursef and hopefully he would comeback to love u. IT MIGHT BE HARD FOR U TO BE PATIENT SINCE U ARE THE VICTIM, BUT BE GOOD,PATIENT AND PRAYERFUL. Pardon my poor spelling

In fact, I will say here that you are a responsible woman and I respect your person because among those who has been contributing their own view, you are truly a special woman as you have given the true advise if the woman want her marriage to work.

You have giving the woman what she should learn and act as ONLY God can save her marriage.

babygirlfl:


My dear, I was so angry I could not comment. How did things get this bad. This thread is one of the most annoying thread to read. We have a long way to go in Nigeria.

a really really loooong way!

Sometimes I thank God my hubby doesn't come to Nld anymore . . . lest they corrupt him!

It's quite shocking that people not only go through things like this, majority of the people here think it's right.

Wonder what we are turning into in this country.

andyanders:


In fact, I will say here that you are a responsible woman and I respect your person because among those who has been contributing their own view, you are truly a special woman as you have given the true advise if the woman want her marriage to work.

You have giving the woman what she should learn and act as ONLY God can save her marriage.

Good advice, I agree . . . if one wants to salvage the crumbs left from the marriage.

I don't want to get into the whole 'if the tables were turned, what will your advice be' thing . . . so you guys don't call me a feminist.

But lets say it worked and he gets over his 'infatuation' . . what next She forgives and FORGETS as if nothing happened

So what happened when next he decides to have another 'infatuation' episode? Same cycle

This is getting redundant!

Cutehector:
This is what happens wen u marry because age is not by ur side anylonger or u marry out of pity... Na ur fault be that

thats not a nice thing to say.

just bring anada man home...The guy eye go clear.na insecurity dy worry am

Complicated!

1. Don't marry out of pity or simply because time is not on your side and if u do DO NOT make it obvious because the person involved WILL NEVER FORGET!
2. The guy probably decided to marry her and get even for the fact that she had made him feel undesirable. By consistently influencing his fashion sense she has been reminding him that he was never good enough for her and needed to be UPGRADED constantly!

3. He now waits for her to get pregnant, losing a little of the figure that made her HOT, and now sees that as his chance to make her feel unwanted!

Emmanuelkant:
u get brain at al?

NO NA UR BRAIN I DEY USE.

Wedon:


Good advice, I agree . . . if one wants to salvage the crumbs left from the marriage.

I don't want to get into the whole 'if the tables were turned, what will your advice be' thing . . . so you guys don't call me a feminist.

But lets say it worked and he gets over his 'infatuation' . . what next She forgives and FORGETS as if nothing happened

So what happened when next he decides to have another 'infatuation' episode? Same cycle

This is getting redundant!

My brother, one thing in marriage is that " No Two Perfect" human being on the face of this earth. Marriage is another University that you cannot Pass out until death because you keep learning everyday. Perseverance, understanding, patience and having God to intervene in all aspect of life that is what one need in order to navigate any marriage. If the man realizes his mistakes and comes back, both must allow God to handle their situation as temptation can make either to derail .

DrSage:
u know what,since she deserves worse,y nt kill her & see if ur soul wont spend a reasonable amount of time in prison. idiooooot

nobody said anything about killing you psychotic bastard.


drfool

babakol:
Now that sucks... Hoes walking around as men these days.. But then you never loved him. You made it a case of when the variable is not available the available becomes variable... That niggah just got wiser

He just got wiser? after a child? come on. If he wanted to run mad it should have been immediately after they got married. That's why I discourage abuse or cheating of any kind no matter the circumstance because the child is a party to all this. What will the growing child think? what will even tell his child sef. it is definitely a selfish action coz its not just within him and his wife. the child is the grass that suffers.

dinachi:
She is never the victim. The man is. She never married him for love but for convenience and it sure looks like she kept throwing it in the mans face until the man has had enough and decided to fire back. The man didnt just start to drink he discovered something heinous about his wife that shattered him.
The woman is not being truth full about the true state of things.

She

I understand your point of view and I agree with it. But I disagree with the conclusion. yes she was probably mean and selfish about her needs and preferences but now they have 2 children! 2 CHILDREN!! who will he actions help? it will only end up hurting the family. What will his children think? Why is their father behaving like a jerk? Children should not be exposed to such malice in their safety zone; the home. He must think of his children and change his ways before their young impressionable minds pick up something wrong.

islandmoon:
option 1 .
never allow any man to abandon you and turn you into an old cargo!
scare him, by painting the picture for him, act like you don't care , tell him you will not carry any responsibility out of his house, drop the two kids and leave, he will come begging knowing he cant bath and care for the children alone, no girl friend will come to his life seeing him carrying two kids around, they know it will eventually become their responsibility if they marry him, don't ever leave his house with your kids because that will only make him so free and he will become new fresh and free bobo again, occupy him with the kids if he try to kick you out.

dues to social economy problem in the country now, most men have employed that tactic to run from their responsibilities.
they know the woman will carry one with the responsibilities, raising the kids alone! prove him wrong by painting the picture for him, tell him that is what you will do.

option 2
secretly pay tout to keep beating that girl anywhere they see her!


option 3

poison him, hes a wicked man, an ingrate , you shouldn't have opened his eyes, you should have encouraged him to be wearing his oversize old fashion shirts

your closing statements just confirmed who you are. Right now I'm hanging on with my "wife" just because of my daughter, if she can leave the girl for me and go I will be extremely happy, as soon as my daughter is mature to receive calls I'll crash the whole marriage at least even if I'm away from her for some time I'll not be so bothered.

happney65:
Good for you..When all those serious Guys dey tell you say them love you,Na Yanga you dey use them do..You where looking for that perfect Guy when in essence you where not perfect..Then you ended up going for that "timid" Guy and now Karma is calling upon una.Abegi Jare

all these kind yeye comments sha! You how many girls have you told 'I love you'? how many have you yansh? then how many have you married? mtchewwwww

Your husband is probably paying you back for a perceived disgrace on his person. I assume you are one of those flippant women that might have uttered to him, the fact that you actually married him because your desirous were not ready for marriage and he was the "unlucky available". You have made your bed with your confessions and please lie on it until you decide to get God involved for the forgiveness of your past since of flippancy

sad story my advice to u... just let him be for a while get something doing take good care of your kids and you also rebrand your look and clothing dress sexy and very hot be a good wife sleep in a seperate room... someday he would realize is mistake then its your turn to deal with him cos when he start begging ... you will treate him in a way he wouldnt try tthat shit again for now endure the pain and ignore him totaly the love he has for you has faded....

hmm..na wa for the man o

Bluetooth2:


You don't love him and he just realised that there's no point continuing the union since you boldly showed him you married him because you are getting old not for true love.

He started drinking, smoking and keeping late nights. He found some lady who understands his dilemma and show him what you couldn't give him .

Madam, you just lost your husband to another woman.

She already knows all this. What's your advice?

MarieSucre:
all these kind yeye comments sha! You how many girls have you told 'I love you'? how many have you yansh? then how many have you married? mtchewwwww

I havent marries any..Not yet as i need to be ready in all areas of Life for Marriage..But would do so soonest..However i have Yansed as many as over 50Girls..You Dig?