serubawon:

It's pretty funny how we parents think we can handle our kids when certain situations present themselves. The reality is we become clueless wrecks when reality sets in. I always used to say I would talk to my kids about sex (the birds & the bees 2009 version). Reality is that I'm not too bothered about my son who is still 7. However, when it comes to my daughter who's 9, I break out in a cold sweat. She's already beginning to manifest physical changes and it SCARES me shitless.

serubawon:

I'm a widower, so her mom isn't around to take care of that. Trust me. I still relish the thought of buying a shotgun and wait for the unlucky poor sap who will have the unfortunate audacity to ask my little girl out. I might just shoot someone.

~You had me Laffing so hard  Remind me of my Dada!

serubawon:

REALITY CHECK. You take each day one day at a time and really pray for God's guidance concerning your kids. I'm stressed out as it is (and they're not even in their teens yet). I just pray that everything works out well and I can sit down 20 years from now, thanking God that I made the right decisions.

~I imagine Every Parents Wish!!Amen to that! May we all Live Long Enuff to see That day!

FL Gators:

Infact, you're very much right. Now that you've given an age bracket, my answer has changed, but not too far from the root.

LOL, maybe when I become a mom it might change. I'm still learning, plz continue to correct me

netotse:

*almost choking on the garri and epa i was eating* yes ke! in fact go and wait for me under the mango tree down the road, make sure to wear a wedding gown o! i'm coming with the babalawo that will join us togeda

but first sey you know how to pound yam?and sow?and bake?and wash? if you dont dont worry i can arrange for you to go and learn from one of my grandmothers in the village!

sistawoman:

Question:

What do you do if you find out your child is saying they are going to run away?

serubawon:

Damage already done. Start praying VERY HARD. You're going to need divine assistance. By the time a child starts thinking like that, the process has been fueled by peer pressure. Kids don't just decide to run away. They complain about their "problems" to other kids and they influence them to make these crazy decisions. First thing, check out your kids friends (especially the crazy ones they hang out with). For a child to decide to run away, he/she usually has a place they want to run away to - there lies part of the problem.

sistawoman:

Question:

What do you do if you find out your child is saying they are going to run away?

michelin89:

You also need opinions from children in matters like this. How do we feel about these guidelines?

I can only imagine why a kid would want to run away. He must have reached his limits.

sistawoman:

do i just do his chores untill he feels like doing them?

Do i contiune to give him what he wants until he decides to do as I ask?

How do we meet in the middle?

How do i reason with my child?

sistawoman:
do i just do his chores untill he feels like doing them?

netotse:

you might as well tell him never to listen to you again in his life

children aren't necessary saints you know. . .he jst might say that(the running away sturvs) to scare you (esp if he's sure it'll work), ignore him!

michelin89:

I have never liked chores but somehow I managed to do them. Instead of making it everyday, why not create a day, like saturrday morning for chores? it's more fun when everybody in the house do them together maybe while playing some nice music. Just my idea though.

sistawoman:

It is impossible to let the chores build up to just one day.

Do you understand how quickly a 11, 10 and 7 year old can tear up a living room, dining room, kitchen and bedrooms?

I dont ask him to do everything

I ask him to clean the kitchen on a daily basis. And since I have been sick I have not cooked in the kitchen in a week. They have been eating take out. So there should be no mess. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO he cant even do the dam cups and spoons.

sistawoman:

he is 11. He will be 12 in August.

sistawoman:

I am not nigerian; just married to a nigerian.

serubawon:

@Sistawoman.

I applaud your efforts and determination. I know how painful and frustrating it can be. However, please make sure that as you are putting them back on track, don't worsen the situation by pushing them further away from you emotionally. I really wish you the best. Your kids are your biggest investment.

sistawoman:

how do i balance the two?

michelin89:

Uhm have you tried to make them understand how doing these chores are functional to them? I mean don't force it down their throats as if they were duties they can't escape. Rather tell them you are just teaching them things that'd be useful to them in future.

You won't always be there to help them. They'll live alone someday and will have to cook and clean for themselves. Mummy just want you to do it at your best.