THE THREE MUSKETRIBES
My name is Ikemefuna Mba. I am Igbo, from Enugu state, South East Nigeria. I was born and brought up in Ilorin, the capital city of Kwara state, located in the North Central of Nigeria. Kwara can invariably pass for a cosmopolitan state: you will find the three main tribes in Nigeria viz., Yoruba, Hausa, and Igbo cohabiting in relative peace. Little wonder why the slogan of the state is: State of Harmony, harmonising Nigeria’s three major ethnic groups. The state however is dominated by the Yorubas and some Nupes who both constitute the primary indigenes of the state. The Igbos have also settled down in good numbers, and they have been able to form a sizeable community. The commercial activities especially in the state capital are dominated by the Igbos; they mostly engage in the sale of electrical materials, electronics, machine and vehicle spare parts, as well as clothing, food stuffs and departmental stores. The Hausas are not exempted; you will also find them in good numbers here. They are basically involved in buying and selling of household goods and agricultural products while some are also involved in menial jobs.
As I was born in this wonderful state, I have spent the whole 26 years of my existence among these divergent tribes. During this period, I have interacted, related, associated and had different kinds of experiences particularly in their overall approaches to life. Through my interaction with them, I have been able to come up with certain general impression about them. Though, this is not absolute.
I will start by describing my own people: the Igbos. The Igbos are peculiar folks. They have this proclivity for success; they are competitive; they are very industrious, disciplined and devoted. They are also religious, and their devotion to their faith is quite unquestionable. There ladies are comely, charming and attractive. Every man will crave to take them as bride based on just their look (despite the steep and daunting bride price), if he but somehow turn a blind eye to their unflattering and indelicate character. Igbos are very smart, calculative and enterprising in nature. They give you their words and stand on it; they do not waver. And can choose to be stubborn.
But I don’t want to discuss the virtue of the Igbos (even though just a couple of the aforementioned can pass as virtues); I’ll rather focus on their vice which I have found unpalatable. The average Igbo man is greedy. His quest for material wealth is almost insatiable. He can go to any length to make money or just to elude poverty which they often refer to as a curse. Little surprise that in our Nollywood home videos, most storylines or films that project an Igbo setting/character/plot are mostly about money ritual, kidnapping others include sale/production of adulterated goods, 419, as well as murder, embezzlement, betrayal, all with the aim of making money or acquiring material wealth. Apart from greed for money, an average Igbo man is pompous, arrogant and full of hubris. He down looks anyone below his station, and draws a line between himself and those he considers poor and wretched.
An average Igbo man is self-centred, bigoted but gullible. He is supercilious. He sees others as foolish or less wise, but himself the wiser. He will always want to outsmart you; dominate you; and turn you to a yeoman. The aim of every business transaction, to an Igbo man, is not just about the exchange of goods and service; rather they see it as an avenue to outsmart the other party. To them, cheat, gain, fake, exploitation etc. All na business!
Yorubas are almost in contrast with the Igbos: they barely have anything in common. One thing that is quite commendable among the Yorubas is that they are very respectful (but I personally find it hypocritical and repelling). Disrespect towards elders in any form is highly unacceptable. That is why we have brother this and aunty that, as long as the person is older than you. Greetings is also one fascinating and appreciable aspects of the Yoruba culture. A Yoruba man can see you and greet you ten times a day, bending his knee in the process. They have device different forms of greetings depending on the context such that a greeting form can be derived from every context of situation. Depending on what action the person is performing, greeting forms such as “well-done” (even when the person has not done anything remarkable), well-sited (even when the person is seated and doing nothing), well eating, well-travelled, meet me well, well-spoken etc. are easily coined.
The Yorubas are unparalleled when it comes to the pen. They are usually educated; sound; literate: they are jolly good academics. They are otherwise smart (or so, most of them think) and are very capable of handling technical responsibilities. Another thing I admire the Yorubas for is that they are almost incapable of violence; they rarely assault others nor engage in physical combat. But what they lack in combat, they have ‘plenty plenty’ in charm and witchcraft. An average Yoruba man believes in juju and supernatural powers. He easily falls back to it to harm his adversaries, and sometimes friends too. These are things which are inundated and well projected in Yoruba movies.
I find the average Yoruba man pusillanimous. He is cowardly; a craven. If you and a Yoruba man swore to go and fight an adversary, my friend, OYO is your case. The Yoruba man will chicken-out before you get to the battle field. Have you ever quarrelled with a Yoruba man? All he will do is to rain invectives (he has plenty of them) on you. He will insult your father, mother, grandparents, and kindred till the fourth generation. But he will never exchange blows no matter how close he seems to be. They talk too much and do little or no action. Most are critics but can’t create. But one thing I detest most among the Yorubas is that an average Yoruba man is a traitor. Yorubas are bunch of Brutus, Littlefinger and Varys. They are prone to betrayal and disloyalty, as well as lying. They are treacherous and can easily turncoat just as a chameleon can effortlessly change its colour. Most are sycophants: in your presence, they will fall at your feet worshipping you with all forms of adulation but behind you they are stabbing you with the sharpest knife, twisting it with all their might. I have had countless experiences of this.
Envy is a universal phenomenon that can be found among any tribe. But there is a method to the envy of a Yoruba man. He is envious of his friend’s success especially where he has failed. While an Igbo man will likely see the success of his friend as a wakeup call, a Yoruba man will rather him and his friend both failed. To him, two failed persons are better than one failed person. Leaving that aside, one tradition which the Yorubas uphold with alacrity but I personally find quite absurd is the Owambe revelry. The Yoruba value partying, merrymaking, shindig and high jinks above everything. Every weekend, they go for one Ode or the other. Money is lavished on this party if fortunately or unfortunately (depending on the way you see it) you are the host. Participants are expected to buy, sow and put on aso ebi, to be identified. No Ankara; no Semo, they reiterate. To me, this is blatant time wasting and resource mismanagement both on the part of the host and the attendees most of whom are below the lower class.
What about the Yoruba girls? Well, their girls are not far from their men. But they are just distinct in one aspect: DIRTY. The average Yoruba girl is dirty. She is a chichidodo. Filthy and slimy. And of course, I have been intimate with a couple of them. The thought of marrying any Yoruba girl makes me puke. Perhaps I will have to take one lesson or two from Hercules on how he cleared Augean’s stable before that will happen.
Hausas are people that I have interacted with relatively less. Nevertheless, I have associated with some of them in Ilorin environ. I met even more when I went for my compulsory National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) camping in Zamfara state. And I must tell you, they are the same. The average Hausa man is HONEST. They are not GREEDY. They are subservient, compliant and servile. They know their role and discharge their duty accordingly. They do not inordinately aim above their stations. They very sincere when it comes to daily business dealings; they do not cheat others (and do not take it kindly to others cheating them). They tell it as it is: Kagikwo. Their devotion to their faith is to a fault. History have shown they do not joke with. They obey the laws of their religion to the latter: they do not compromise with them.
Most amusingly, they are easy to trust others and they do this very seamlessly. To illustrate just one example, during NYSC camp activity of in November, 2013, Zamfara state. I met this Hausa man, a provision vendor. I bought one bottle coke at the rate of #70. I gave the man #200. He told me: “Ba change”, that is, no change. I asked him what will now happen as I have already emptied the bottle of coke into my stomach. Well, I was expecting him to say I should drop the money and come back for my change but to my utmost surprise, the vendor told me to go and come back and pay him as soon as I have lower currencies on me. Of course I want back to pay him. This happened not once nor twice and with different vendors. But believe me you no Yoruba man will do this, and the day an Igbo man thinks about doing this (how much more attempting it), the world will end. It is not because the bill in question is low nor the idea that the Hausa man is naïve or lacks business acumen, it is a matter of mindset, attitude, belief, and mentality. An Igbo man will highly likely tell me to drop the money and come back for change or if it is pressing, he will run helter-skelter looking for change. The Yoruba man will sit like a drone and tell me “Kosi change”. Luckily, if I have not consumed the product, he will snatch it from me, telling to check another store. Unfortunately if I have consumed it as it is the case in this context, he rain down all the diatribes on me and my generation for deliberately buying something of low value and paying with a high currency, before seeking resolution.
The Hausa man detest stealing. They would rather engage in demeaning jobs with very little pay they rob others. Little wonder why mean jobs like cobbling, clearing, offloading are usually engaged by Hausas. And they do not complain. They are not jealous. Once they give their word, they do not take it. They are ready to support you till death: they never back off. These traits are rare in the other two tribes in Nigeria.
A stranger in a Hausa land need not worry: Hausas are very accommodating. They effortlessly welcome strangers. I met some in Gusau. There, corps members were treated with utmost respect. Every foodstuff we obtained was either subsidised or even given for free. They made sure we were very comfortable and happy. For some reasons, I had to redeploy. I ended up in Osun state. The reverse was the case in Osogbo. If you are a corps member, then you are a stranger, and strangers are easy to fool because they lack knowledge about the environment. Every price of every article you purchase is sky-rocketed. My first baptism of fire came when I had to take a bike from a bus stop at Ayetoro to Omo West where the NYSC secretariat is. The bike man saw me on my khaki and said the amount is #500. I told him I will pay #400. He readily agreed. I thought I struck a bargain. Later on I discovered that the fare is just #30 by bus and at most #50 with bike. Chai, that man slap me! My second baptism of fire was when a bus driver nearly assaulted me. For what? Because I refused to pay him an inflated amount as fare. This is how it happened. It was the third month into my service year. I took a bus from Omo west to Old Garage, a journey of less than five kilometres. On getting to the bus stop, I gave the driver #30 the amount for fare for such distance. The driver (probably thinking since I am a corps member [because I was on khaki], and as such I do not have any idea about how the transport system works) was adamant I pay him #50. However, having being exploited again and again, I vowed not to be a mugu this time. And to my defence, two other passengers that alighted just a few walk to my destination paid just #30. To cut the story short, the driver was almost confrontational but a passer-by intervened before it degenerated into an exchange. The passer-by admonished the driver for trying to exploit me. He however gave the driver #50 on my behalf and told the driver that God will judge him.
You can easily point to the Hausas proclivity to violence. No doubt, they are easily incited. And unfortunately, it is the non-Hausas that pay the price when there crisis, especially ethnic related crisis. It is well known that if you are a non-Hausa and reside among the Hausa community in the North, they can easily accommodate you and seamlessly become friends with you. But when ethnic or religious crisis breaks out, these people whom you hitherto call friends or even shared the same plate with last night will come knocking on your door to demand for your head. They slaughter human beings the way they slaughter their cattle.
But on their defence, I would like to point out that the Hausas do not fight for no cause. Nor do they engage in orgy of killings for no reason. Rather, when they kill, maim, destroy, they do so in accord to their strongly held beliefs which instigators of crisis manipulate to instigate them. They do gory things they do because they believe it is right or so they were told. But I am not in anyway trying to justify their wanton act of pogrom.
[b]We can go on and on to defend our tribe. But I think the truth is just as each tribe has its own forte, it also has its own Achilles heel. Despite the numerous experiences I have had, I have some Igbos that are different. They are good, not greedy and reasonable. And honestly, I have met Yorubas who do not believe in charms, hardworking, very honest and loyal. I have also made friends with some Yoruba girls who are clean babes. If I say I do not know any Hausa man who does not support the incessant pogrom in the North, then I am lying. In fact some core northerners have always vehemently condemned all acts of ethnic cleansing and killings in the name of religion. Whether you are Igbo, Hausa or Yoruba, we are who we are.
Someone once said these three major tribes are the three major problems of Nigerian. Another said these three distinct tribes have so far been a blessing to Nigeria as they undergird our existence as a nation. I totally agree with the two of them: they are not far from the truth.[/b]

Reach the writer of article: https://www.facebook.com/ikemefuna22
Source:https://www.facebook.com/ikemefuna22/posts/976628212360667
**(Let us live as ONE NIGERIA regardless of our tribal differences)**
lalasticlala
ishilove

I dey smell FP ooo *sniff sniff*

yommyphresh:
I dey smell FP ooo *sniff sniff*

This shit on FP?
Never...... If it does, then I will know nairaland has finally gone to the dogs.


Lmao ... the writer's IQ must be in the range of retardation.

scholes0:


This shit on FP?
Never...... If it does, then I will know nairaland has finally gone to the dogs.


Lmao

Your opinion.

@Freemanan, come lets hear your views. When coming, please bring lalasticlala along with you

fratermathy:


Your opinion.

I wonder how people sit their asses down for lengths of time on end.. to come up with articles such as that....
Are u related to the writer? Tell him to grow a pair ...

scholes0:


I wonder how people sit their asses down for lengths of time on end.. to come up with articles such as that....
Are u related to the writer? Tell him to grow a pair ...

So what article(s) of immense value have you ever written? I'd love to read them and tell the writer to pick few tips from them.

fratermathy:


So what article(s) of immense value have you ever written? I'd love to read them and tell the writer to pick few tips from them.

Is the above your definition of "Immense value"?

spits .....

scholes0:

Is the above your definition of "Immense value"?

spits .....

Like I said before, your opinion!

If you haven't written anything, you do not have the intellectual authority to label someone's output as junk.

fratermathy:


Like I said before, your opinion!

Yes.... why are you so bothered about it?
The writer wrote his childish epistle, and I commented on it... or what were you hoping to achieve if not comments?

scholes0:


Yes.... why are you so bothered about it?
The writer wrote his childish epistle, and I commented on it... or what were you hoping to achieve if not comments?

Comments must be constructive and not denigatory. If one must denigrate, make sure the object of such is confined within the article and not the person who wrote it. You attacked the writer and not the work and that is what I find repulsive because you do not know the writer or his state of mind and neither do you know what prompted the article or the circumstances behind his ingenuity so if you must comment, restrict it to the article itself and not the writer. You said and I quote; "I wonder how people sit their asses down for lengths of time on end.. to come up with articles such as that...." and "The writer wrote his childish epistle". These enclosed statements are uncouth and very unintellectual of you.

fratermathy:


Comments must be constructive and not denigatory. If one must denigrate, make sure the object of such is confined within the article and not the person who wrote it. You attacked the writer and not the work and that is what I find repulsive because you do not know the writer or his state of mind and neither do you know what prompted the article or the circumstances behind his ingenuity so if you must comment, restrict it to the article itself and not the writer. You said and I quote; "I wonder how people sit their asses down for lengths of time on end.. to come up with articles such as that...." and "The writer wrote his childish epistle". These enclosed statements are uncouth and very unintellectual of you.

One thing I know, he is in a childish immature state of mind....
We have seen countless previous articles like his.... so nothing exactly new or innovative about all his juveile ramblings.
Where did they all lead us to? NOWHERE

Igbos are this and that, Yorubas are this and that, Hausas are yada yada yada..... to what end exactly? Surely that is not the way to go about building the national unity that the same writer solicits after spewing his venom
To make long short.... I don't see the SUBSTANCE.

scholes0:


One thing I know, he is in a childish immature state of mind....
We have seen countless previous articles like his.... so nothing exactly new or innovative about all his juveile ramblings.
Where did they all lead us to? NOWHERE

Igbos are this and that, Yorubas are this and that, Hausas are yada yada yada..... to what end exactly? Surely that is not the way to go about building the national unity that the same writer solicits after spewing his venom
To make long short.... I don't see the SUBSTANCE.

Even if the writer says "all Nigerians are mad". Surely that is his own opinion and it does not in any way mean that Nigerians are actually mad people. Even in his "ramblings" about our tribes, he succeeds in saying some very good things about them, I bet you saw those too. He finally ended by making useful statements pertaining to our national unity and thereby unveiling the purpose of his earlier statements on our tribes that may be seen as "juvenile" like you said.

You may not see substance or value in this article but that sentiment is purely subjective to you. Even at that, the first rule of criticism which states that the writer is dead after writing his work was broken by you. Dont attack the writer, attack the work.

fratermathy:


Even if the writer says "all Nigerians are mad". Surely that is his own opinion and it does not in any way mean that Nigerians are actually mad people. Even in his "ramblings" about our tribes, he succeeds in saying some very good things about them, I bet you saw those too. He finally ended by making useful statements pertaining to our national unity and thereby unveiling the purpose of his earlier statements on our tribes that may be seen as "juvenile" like you said.

You may not see substance or value in this article but that sentiment is purely subjective to you. Even at that, the first rule of criticism which states that the writer is dead after writing his work was broken by you. Dont attack the writer, attack the work.

Yes that is his opinion (Although admittedly juvenile)
And I have a right to comment about it....... You can't write such articles and expect not to get rebuttals.
Sometimes the best scribblers are also the most immature in their outloooks.... such is the writer.

Holy spirit !!!

*sighs*

How does perpetuating these stereotypes help anyone?

Try and space your writing out nah. This is so hard to read.

I don't expect anything less since the name, source and tribe of the writer is as it is. My prayer is, we should have the fortitude to bear and in turn make the best from what these messangers were setting us up for. When people comes from this angle regularly, it becomes a form of witchcraft to get a group in a bad light by all means under all possible false pretense. This is 'biafra propaganda' tract at play, to customise the mind of Yoruba youths to orchestrated 'biafran projection' covertly, so we can act to their 'scripts' as 'feeble people', so we might be 'controlled' in their 'scheme of things'. Please don't embrace the 'big lie'. It is a missionary spell. How dare you try to cast a baffling >stupid spell on us time and again, even after confessing that we are the wizards here? I don't attend MASS.SOB meetings in Onitsha, but I can read your mood against me in witchraft as a Yorubaman. So, no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

absoluteSuccess:
I don't expect anything less since the name, source and tribe of the writer is as it is. My prayer is, we should have the fortitude to bear and in turn make the best from what these messangers were setting us up for. When people comes from this angle regularly, it becomes a form of witchcraft to get a group in a bad light by all means under all possible false pretense. This is 'biafra propaganda' tract at play, to customise the mind of Yoruba youths to orchestrated 'biafran projection' covertly, so we can act to their 'scripts' as 'feeble people', so we might be 'controlled' in their 'scheme of things'. Please don't embrace the 'big lie'. It is a missionary spell. How dare you try to cast a baffling >stupid spell on us time and again, even after confessing that we are the wizards here? I don't attend MASS.SOB meetings in Onitsha, but I can read your mood against me in witchraft as a Yorubaman. So, no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

My dear, the 'witch-hunters' aren't limited to a particular tribe.....Have you seen the "Edo south is bigger than the whole of Yorubaland" thread? Kini eyin omo yoruba se fun awon eyan yi ti won fi n binu yin?

fratermathy:

@Freemanan, your opinion please.

Chief, I am always a fan of traditional dialectics and deep writing. I will forward my analysis and critique to your email.... You know the drill.

Cuddlebugie:
My dear, the 'witch-hunters' aren't limited to a particular tribe.....Have you seen the "Edo south is bigger than the whole of Yorubaland" thread? Kini eyin omo yoruba se fun awon eyan yi ti won fi n binu yin?

Arewa mi, Yoruba bo wonni anjuwon o see wi lejo, ija ilara kotan boro. Won ko to ija arawon gbe afi ki won maa wongba pelu Yoruba. O ti wa di ejinrin ote wayio, biati npakan nikan a tun maa ruyo. Amo awon egbe mi naa wanle funwon digbi, won gbimo po wonlepa oke, tani ko saimo pe oke naa ni yoo bori. They were making their concerns known to their gods from time

I just don't knw y ibos hate yoruba

absoluteSuccess:
Arewa mi, Yoruba bo wonni anjuwon o see wi lejo, ija ilara kotan boro. Won ko to ija arawon gbe afi ki won maa wongba pelu Yoruba. O ti wa di ejinrin ote wayio, biati npakan nikan a tun maa ruyo. Amo awon egbe mi naa wanle funwon digbi, won gbimo po wonlepa oke, tani ko saimo pe oke naa ni yoo bori. They were making their concerns known to their gods from time

Oga mi, sir, se yoruba ajumolo leléyíí abi yoruba Awori?

[quote author=Cuddlebugie post=38169359]

Bawo nise ati isinmi leni, Aduke?

[quote author=absoluteSuccess post=38176531][/quote]Aduke bi ti bawo?

Ladi, we've derailed this thread enough, let's stay on topic

.

Cuddlebugie:
Aduke bi ti bawo?

Ladi, we've derailed this thread enough, let's stay on topic

The OP has absconded, his P.A. has also lost the will to canvass lalasticlala to move their 'millenium nonsense' to frontpage. I need this frontpoo to be dumped at frontloo Nonsense

absoluteSuccess:
The OP has absconded, his P.A. has also lost the will to canvass lalasticlala to move their 'millenium nonsense' to frontpage. I need this frontpoo to be dumped at frontloo Nonsense

What's with you and being civil as a person? Must be prove that humans can be degenerates and barbaric? Why stoop so low and expose your paranoia to the world? You really need to see Freud for your problems because even religion cannot help you.

fratermathy:


What's with you and being civil as a person? Must be prove that humans can be degenerates and barbaric? Why stoop so low and expose your paranoia to the world? You really need to see Freud for your problems because even religion cannot help you.

You are not in touch with reality, Freud was a man that lived two centuries or so, back in history. It is time you bring out your repressed hatred from the coven. Whats morally or intellectually chaste in your OP that worth edifying with civility? Your talent is being invested on 'character assasination' of millions and you are happy about it, spreading hate abroad under cover.

junk! fit for the trash can.

absoluteSuccess:
You are not in touch with reality, Freud was a man that lived two centuries or so, back in history. It is time you bring out your repressed hatred from the coven. Whats morally or intellectually chaste in your OP?

Yes, Freud is DEAD. That is my POINT. Point your intellectual compass to the logical end of my argument.

My OP, you say. In any case, I am a dogmatic subscriber to the theory of attack the work and not the writer. You may be exempted from this theory if your have meta-analysed this piece of which I am yet to find or even sniff its whiff.

fratermathy:


Yes, Freud is DEAD. That is my POINT. Point your intellectual compass to the logical end of my argument.

My OP, you say. In any case, I am a dogmatic subscriber to the theory of attack the work and not the writer. You may be exempted from this theory if your have meta-analysed this piece of which I am yet to find or even sniff its whiff.

Of course. It shows in your last outburst. Indeed, you live by the rule. Point your intellectual compass to the logical ends of my argument.