Morning guys, there is this lady we have being dating over 4 yrs now, she is ok by me as we match each other perfectly, our relationship has being wonerfull, we live together through out our school days & even up till now, so i am the one providing food & taking care of her and truly i wasn't complaining as i do it with lot of joy because her mother died when she was ten years of age & her father is not financially buoyant, so because of the love i have for her i willingly and happily took up her responsibilities, due to the fact that i have my personal business which is bringing me money when i was in school, though she was the one paying her school fees her self then because she is not a lazy type that depends wholly on another.

her father could send some & she would add the rest from the petty she use to save. We both finished our ND programme in 2013 with upper credit in SLT, so we decided to cross to university through D.E, but unfortunately we were not offered admission to university, so i quickly returned to road construction as i am an excavator operator before gaining admission to ND. That was the 1st time we were separated by work since we started our relationship, my working place then was far so i used to send her money for her feeding every month. I knew for sure construction work is not reliable, & she will be starting her HND early 2015 so i decided to set up a viewing center business for her to be able to take care of her self and her HND school fees so that if the worst happened in my working place we will still be on a safer side & be secured.

I spent all my savings on setting up the business (over 270k) but couldn't complete it so i had to borrow (100k) from her to complete it. The reason for choosing that kind of business was to give her enough time to study as well as maintain the business at the same time, as matches are being played on weekends & any match that falls on midweek will be 7.45pm or 8.45pm, so i know it wont affect her studies. But unfortunately the business didn't excel due to the area, & fortunately for me again i got employed to the Nigeria Immigration then so i had to leave the construction work, & due to this fact we decided she try another DE because she loves medical line (nursing), & since i thought i was an immigration officer by then i agreed to sponsor her through it, 3 months of training no salary & i had spent all i had on that business which is not moving a bit, by that time i dont have anything like money again, to add more to my trouble we were suspended after 3 months of training till further directive, & dont forget that she is still on her HND, so i sold the viewing center at the rate of 150k & returned the 100k i borrowed from her 4 the business.

Fastforward to why am writting this epistle, when there is no sign from immigration that they will call us back, i decided to have a plan B if eventually they refuse to, so i told her that i will have to return to school for my BSc, hearing this from me this lady was so furious, she was so annoyed, she started saying all sort of things that she is 26 yrs of age now that how can i expect her to wait for another 4yrs before getting married, that God forbid bad thing in her life, that she can never wait that long for any man. I was so confused that i didnt even know what to say, i was now thinking that is this how life is, is this girl using me for her benefit or what, the same girl that wanted to abandon HND for 5 yrs nursing programme at university when i got employed, same girl is now claiming she cant wait for me if eventually i go back to school.

The 2nd day i got a call from the previous construction company that i should resume immediately so i rushed there to resume since i dont have any source of income at the moment. We later discussed the issue & she apologized for saying harsh things, & she is acting normal from the day of our discussion, but to my greatest surprise when i returned home on month ending break, this girl is now refusing my sexual advances towards her. Pls i need ur advice, what is happening to me?. Pls don't mind my grammatical error & my lengthy write up.

girls...most girls want sum1 who will marry them....she feel insecure due 2 her mindset,she tinks you'll find sumone else in da uni..

Oky! Ftc
Wats d big deal?

OP dump that lady now before its too late....since her life dream is to be married and you are not ready to marry yet,your visions are different so let her go asap

my opinion


lalasticlala

You brought this upon yourself! You were doing good samaritan for a woman, now you see?? Only thing I have to say to you is be strong!



Bye!

well @OP. I think its because she refused you s3x,which made you feel discombobulated,that is why you decide to come seek for advice here...anyway since she is not making any threat to leave you..she is only acting as a lady. you know lady's beauty fades out as she increases in age..i would rather suggest you go for HND too,then you both marry,thereafter,you might consider BSC degree....
NB: acquiring a BSC or Diploma certificate doesn't guarantee you success,it only pave way to success...

She just told you her mind, if you are not ready to get married you tell her or better still talk with her to know the way forward

Chai... Op you broke an important rule: you don't sponsor a girl you are not married to ' cos you gonna regret it...

Love can still make some guys still mumu like this... Shm

I guess I'll av 2 go tell ma daddy.... Wait OP, I'll b back

Does she expects you to send her to school? Are you her father? You men will do stupid things in the name of love for the girl wey no send you work, you will now come and tell stories that touch after she moves on.

If her people cannot send her to school make she go do business, gather money send herself.

This is what i got from your write up - you want to further your studies and your GF is mad at you because she does not want to wait for you to complete your studies if this is the case you got to do what you got to do which is School you cannot short circuit your growth process to please her. I can understand her concerns as well most women don't want to be GF for life or keep investing in a relationship they are not sure will yield what they want. You have to decide what you want from this relationship, where you see it going and then talk to her tell her the plan you have for the relationship if she gets on board fine if not well.....life happens. You've been a good man you are equally important and need to take care of you too.

IamLEGEND1:
guys no dey ever listen!

you be playing philanthropist to a ho.....they just ain't loyal.

but you no pay attention, why? coz you're in love.

the bítch just playing tinko with ur mumu button for years and you be there thinking you found urself a soulmate or whatever you humans call it.

pls dont call her names, she is not a *bítch*

The eleventh commandment: Thou shall not sponsor a girl/woman you aren't married to through school.

money and ring for hand go solve this problem.......
Dont let this lady push you......for you to have endured up to this stage....and you are also resourceful, you already know what to do.

fayose4real:
pls dont call her names, she is not a *bítch*

shey una dey see wetin Edo girls fit do with guys brain abi.
ur picture don tey for inside one baba calabash!

DUNDEE UNITED
Some guys nor dey ever learn

andromida:
This is what i got from your write up - you want to further your studies and your GF is mad at you because she does not want to wait for you to complete your studies if this is the case you got to do what you got to do which is School you cannot short circuit your growth process to please her. I can understand her concerns as well most women don't want to be GF for life or keep investing in a relationship they are not sure will yield what they want. You have to decide what you want from this relationship, where you see it going and then talk to her tell her the plan you have for the relationship if she gets on board fine if not well.....life happens. You've been a good man you are equally important and need to take care of you too.

thanks 4 d avice, but why ar human beings like that? what baffles me most was dat if she eventually gained admission 2 d university as planned & i didnt av problem with my job, i would av waited for her and even sponsored her tru it, so why is she now standing against mine, by next yr now she will be HND graduate while i remain ND graduate, she is one step above me

jonath0012:
Chai... Op you broke an important rule: you don't sponsor a girl you are not married to ' cos you gonna regret it...

Love can still make some guys still mumu like this... Shm

He wasn't sponsoring her,he was paying for sex as they lived together through out their school days,I can't understand why you guys always says a lady is screwing you when you are actually having sex with her 24/7

fejikudz:
DUNDEE UNITED

Some guys nor dey ever learn

i knw what i see in her that made me invest dat much in her, nt dat i dont knw what am doing, she is grade A wife material and she is very committed to the relationship, & very, very, & very decent a girl

I can and will never spend on a girlfriend's education.My love for her no reach that level.

fayose4real:
i knw what i see in her that made me invest dat much in her, nt dat i dont knw what am doing, she is grade A wife material and she is very committed to the relationship, & very, very, & very decent a girl

Her reaction towards your decision to go back to school proved otherwise.

younghartz:
girls...most girls want sum1 who will marry them....she feel insecure due 2 her mindset,she tinks you'll find sumone else in da uni..

Esp when the guy is financially secured.

YES YOUR GIRL FRIEND IS USING YOU ( cause she is you girl friend. Or you want her to use me )





Who get time to read all this your history 101.



In Igbo, SI EBEAA PUOO

fayose4real:
i knw what i see in her that made me invest dat much in her, nt dat i dont knw what am doing, she is grade A wife material and she is very committed to the relationship, & very, very, & very decent a girl

did you say decent?


a lady staying in your house, being fvcked by you?


gerrara here mehn!

The way you typed your stories,it's as if you are a well-off guy.Therefore, throw away the thought of going back to school and stop sponsoring your girlfriend so that you can save enough money to start a good business for yourself.There are few jobs available and the salary is not good enough.If you feel like just acquiring the certificate for keep,no probs.

sholikay:
well @OP. I think its because she refused you s3x,which made you feel discombobulated,that is why you decide to come seek for advice here.

yes u ar right, because am afraid she might just b pretending everytin is cool after our discussion on the issue, she may av somtin different deep down her, of course rejecting sex after a whole month is like an evidence to that, what if she is planning to do somtin silly

Gelengelen:
did you say decent?


a lady staying in your house, being fvcked by you?


gerrara here mehn!

yeah very decent i say, is true she may be living with me bt atleast she chose to sticks to one man truout up till now unlike some ladies which receive it from any angle witout being identified with 1 man, guy she is decently decent

She's only trying to secure a future for herself... And op won't be a bad idea to get married and still go to school

klassiquette:
One thing people do forget to acknowledge is that dating someone for any number of years, shouting whatever with the person is not a guarantee that he/she is your life partner ..... Op i think she's using you to her own benefit

I dont think so, I think the girl is right to know what are future is with the guy, cause @ 26 she is at the right age to get married and also this same *Op* can change is mind after 4 years

sukij:


I dont think so, I think the girl is right to know what are future is with the guy, cause @ 26 she is at the right age to get married and also this same *Op* can change is mind after 4 years

Modified... I showed this thread to my mum and she made me see reasons with the girl quite similar to yours.... Thanks

klassiquette:
She's only trying to secure a future for herself... And op won't be a bad idea to get married and still go to school

OP THIS YOUNG LADY JUST SAID SO MY ADVICE TO U S JUST LET HER GO AND IF U V PROMISE HER MARRIAGE ABEG DON'T TRY THAT MISTAKE S A VERY BIG MISTAKE...JUST LET HER KNOW IF SHE SEES SOME1 WHO S READY FOR MARRIAGE SHE SHOULD GO, SO SHE WON'T B TIED DOWN TO U AND FURTHER UR EDUCATION S VERY IMPORTANT

klassiquette:

Modified... I showed this thread to my mum and she made me see reasons with the girl quite similar to yours.... Thanks

yu ar welcome