NEVER KNEW I WAS LOOSING YOU ..UNTIL NOW

Coming back late at night
Seeing not the tears in your face
Waking up every day in preparation for work
Never a time…to watch or even see you smile
I never knew I was losing you until now
I am so sorry
I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN

I thought extra work will bring more happiness
Working all day… also studying all night
I thought you were on diet “seeing you bony”
Deceiving me with those beautiful smiles and saying.. “it’s all gonna be well dear”
I never knew I was losing somebody so close until now
Distracted by the outside world
Which do not even care
Thousands apologies won’t work out right now
But sincerely, I acknowledge the fact of my stupidity
I never knew I was losing you until now dear,
I am really sorry… but do not ever forgive

I received 3 calls (from you) on my way back from work
I pretended never to have seen them..cos of my huge surprises
I bought the most beautiful flower..filled with all scents you can imagine
Just for the precious being been known and also called a wife to my gentle nature
Getting home without a sign of you made me worried … “why the call in the first place” made me sorry
I tried to give a call back without a doubt
Hearing your ring tone again…almost got me a big gout
I calmed myself down..pretending and trying to just be relaxed
What could have happened I said.. “seeing the whole place looking so unkempt”.

I saw a call from our hospital
What’s going on? “ I asked, before even picking up the call”
I had to repeat “I am never going to think of something bad 24times..”
The 25th time, I busted out in tears without a very known reason which I once knew
I had to rush down “to the hospital” without me even driving
All I knew and noticed was just seeing the car moving
I had to be stopped..by the hospital gate… which was on lock
Cos my thought was this… “it’s meant to be unlocked”
Staining the steering with my own blood
My office cloth…now stained in the pool of my blood
Why is the doctor not smiling “I began to wonder”
What’s the point? “I asked, is he not still on duty?”

Hey man “calling from afar”…neglecting the rules guiding rudeness
You have to calm down and relax.. “I heard”
Who said that? I had to ask

Forcing myself towards the direction of the doctor
I saw my wife.. lying down on bed with things we never for once talked about
Who the hell did this to her…I screamed. … “Scaring the doctor at first”

She has been suffering from cancer..the doctor replied.. “while about running away for his own dear life”
I thought he was joking.. “saying all that, without even his lips moving”.
So what’s her status I asked
Let’s go to my office he replied

Hey man! I said aloud, maybe he did not hear the first one clearly
What is she doing there, I screamed
Waiting for her to tell me to calm down
We tried all our best.. “he said”,
Don’t finish that… “I have to meet with her now…no one dares to touch me”

I got to her bed ..”I AM HERE DARLING”
I said .. “more than the number of time I could even put into counting”
I heard no response… “while still in tears”

Everybody started staring at me
With this ugly face of regret

Never knew I was losing somebody so precious to me
While working so hard
Just to get that promotion I got from my place of work

Do not forgive me please… I will hate myself “I said.. looking to the face of this being already laid to rest in an unknown everlasting world”
I wish my present wishes had been wished without me been wished…
I never knew I was losing somebody so close to me
Making my heart so heavy and empty
All happening just at the same time interval

Wish this could just be a formed story ..from this weird dream of mine
I once dreamt
Now, I am all alone..without no one to even cry with me
LET’S NOT GIVE MORE ATTENTION TO OUR WORK
LEAVING THE LIFE OF OUR FAMILY AT STAKE

FAMILY SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST FIRST BEFORE ANY ACT

By Meshileya Israel O., 2015