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Who Should Have Custody? - Family - Nairaland

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Gay Couple Wins Custody Battle Over Surrogate Mother, Jubilation In Hell. / Man Batters Wife, Throws Her Out For Rejecting Custody Of Love Child (Pictured) / Should He Fight For Custody Of His Kids?? (2) (3) (4)

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Who Should Have Custody? by klassyguy(m): 3:24pm On Jun 08, 2009
I heard of a very sad case on CNN nd have been following it for the past week. This man was married to a lady and they had a son. when the child was about a year old, the lady told her husband she wanted to go visit her parents in Brazil, nd she just packed all her luggage and left with her son. When she got to her parents, she called her husband in the states and told him the marriage was over, that she wasn't coming back. The man tried going to court for the custody of his son, but i can't really remember what happened at that point in time.

Later on, the lady got married to another man back in brazil. the young boy began to see him as his dad. along the line, the boy's mum died nd now the biological father is fighting for custody of his son. the foster dad too doesn't want to orelease him. the courts are still fighting over the issue.

who do u think shld keep the child? there was no fight btw his mum nd his biological dad, nd now he wants his son. from reports, he has been fighting for custody of his son since he was taken away by his mum.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by prittigrrr(f): 3:38pm On Jun 08, 2009
I have followed this case too. The biological dad fought for this child from the 1st day he left. The mother married a man who was a lawyer. The law on international custody btw the US and Brazil shows clearly that the biological dad should have the son. However, the step dad is well connected and hs maintained custody wrongfully. The biological dad was allowed to see the kid for the 1st time recently. The 1st thing out of the boy's mouth was 'why didn't u come see me?' The father had been to Brazil many times and denied access to the child. The child should go with the biological father. The stepdad can visit.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by klassyguy(m): 3:43pm On Jun 08, 2009
U see what some women put their husbands thru? i just heard on CNN now that the woman divorced the man in absentia in brazil, nd she has been married to the other man for the past 5 years. the kid is now 9 years old. the lower court has ordered the child be returned to his original father, but the caser has been taken to a higher court. ruling comes on wednesday. hw sad.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 5:14pm On Jun 08, 2009
Sad case, heard abt it on the news.
However, custody must be given to whoever love, and could take care of the needs of the kids more, but most cases, the woman always win, with the man on the hook for child support.
In this case, the man has been unable to get back the child, cos the man adopted the child when he married the mother and that made the "new father" to be in custody of the child.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by klassyguy(m): 6:08pm On Jun 08, 2009
Fhemmmy:

Sad case, heard abt it on the news.
However, custody must be given to whoever love, and could take care of the needs of the kids more, but most cases, the woman always win, with the man on the hook for child support.
In this case, the man has been unable to get back the child, cos the man adopted the child when he married the mother and that made the "new father" to be in custody of the child.

but the woman in question is now dead. the case is btw the two fathers. I will support the kid going back to his real dad cos, though i don't know the systemm over there, there is a high chance of the foster dad marrying again, and then there might be some form of maltreatment since he's not the son of either. but i culd be wrong.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 6:22pm On Jun 08, 2009
klassyguy:

but the woman in question is now dead. the case is btw the two fathers. I will support the kid going back to his real dad cos, though i don't know the systemm over there, there is a high chance of the foster dad marrying again, and then there might be some form of maltreatment since he's not the son of either. but i culd be wrong.

It is not about what we think.
Before the death of the woman, who was the father of the kid?
After the death of the woman, who is the father of the kid?
In the eyes of the law, the new man is the father or shd i say "legal" father, from the day he has decided to adopt the child, the child became his, so only the child can now decide, where he wanna be and who he wanna be with.
Mind you, with every day that passes, the "legal" father is making better chance of keeping the child forever.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by prittigrrr(f): 7:38pm On Jun 08, 2009
If the step dad legally adopted the child that is fine, but in this case, any adoption would have been ILLEGAL because the biological father had no notice. Also, the international treaties btw US and Brazil favored the biological father. The lower court, following interntional law, awarded the child to the biological father. How can they change rules in midstream? There is a saying in the law that "he who seeketh equity must have clean hands." In this case, the step dad has unclean hands. This bars the door to him.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Sissy3(f): 9:12pm On Jun 08, 2009
the biological father should have the boy.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 9:26pm On Jun 08, 2009
prittigrrr:

If the step dad legally adopted the child that is fine, but in this case, any adoption would have been ILLEGAL because the biological father had no notice. Also, the international treaties btw US and Brazil favored the biological father. The lower court, following interntional law, awarded the child to the biological father. How can they change rules in midstream? There is a saying in the law that "he who seeketh equity must have clean hands." In this case, the step dad has unclean hands. This bars the door to him.

All u have said is nice and great, however, from the time the mother took the boy out of USA, and got married to another in Mexico, and the man in Mexico adopted the boy, the boy legally belongs to the father.
I do understand what you mean by the man never knew anything about it, however, there are few things that you need to know, when a divorce in absentia is been done, the man/woman will have to place an advert in the paper informing the man of his/her to divorce the partner, or send a letter to the partner, letting the other person to be aware of the intent to divorce, and in most cases, people always knowingly sending to wrong address, or place an advert where they are so sure the other person wont see it.
So now the woman is dead and no one to fight the divorce proceedings, so tell me who is to be blamed, the step father or the father?
Here is my take, if the man was close enuf to the kid, the father would be aware that the child was gonna be moved to Mexico.
If the father was good enuf, someone that knew about the case would have informed him and he would ave carried out some legal stuff on the case.
So for now, the step father has the legal right over the child and there is little or nothing that the biological father could do, till the child is old enuf to take the step father to court.
Mind you, i am not in support of the step father, but it is just the law.
BTW Mexico/USA treaty when it comes to family law is not that brightly spelled, there is a gray area and that is what the step father is preying upon.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 9:27pm On Jun 08, 2009
~Sissy~:

the biological father should have the boy.

I am sure the biological father also wish, it was that simple.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Sissy3(f): 9:30pm On Jun 08, 2009
Fhemmmy:

I am sure the biological father also wish, it was that simple.

the Brazilian government are just embarrassing themselves with this case, cause they know the truth. the biological father should get his son back, they are just prolonging the whole issue. it is very unfair
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Outstrip(f): 9:36pm On Jun 08, 2009
Femmy you are so wrong. It was not a legal adoption because the boy was taken illegally. So you are not going to convince anybody otherwise. If his father had abandoned him then and said it was okay for the woman to keep him then fine. As far as the law is concerned his mother is a criminal (RIP) in the US. I hope the biological father wins custody of the boy but it might traumatize the boy too much to take him away from all he knows after losing his mother.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Ndipe(m): 1:59am On Jun 09, 2009
Easy answer, the boy belongs to the biological father.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Nobody: 5:07am On Jun 09, 2009
f-ucking bitch angry angry angry angry angry
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Nobody: 5:14am On Jun 09, 2009
oyb:

f-ucking bitch angry angry angry angry angry
ah ahnnnn
iye ti po ju

@post
it should go to the biological father.
should this even be an issue? I mean, the father wanted his son while the mother (next in kin) was still alive, now that she's dead, he (biological father) is the next in kin, so he should get the son.


WHY WERE THEY PROLONGING THE ISSUE? WAS THE BIOLOGICAL FATHER ABUSIVE?
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Nobody: 5:16am On Jun 09, 2009
as hard as it may seem, karma got hold of the ex wife. this is a caring loving (biological)father who was robbed of his fatherhood/son by that woman.
some women are just plain evil. who but the biological dad should be the legal guardian of that little boy who has suffered long enough?
by the look of things, the biological father is not going to give up that easily.
kudos to him!
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 5:28am On Jun 09, 2009
I really dont understand how this case has gotten to this point. The boy is an American citizen, I figured they would have court ordered her bring him back LONG BEFORE she even died. The fact that they're still fighting about this despite her death is baffling to me.

I guess this shows that when it comes to things like this, even men can be treated unfairly cos Im sure if it were the dad that kidnapped the kid and ran off, he would have been arrested years ago.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by ThiefOfHearts(f): 5:35am On Jun 09, 2009
I hope the biological father wins custody of the boy but it might traumatize the boy too much to take him away from all he knows after losing his mother.

Exactly there lies the problem. It'll be great for the son to be back with his father, but the process will suck. It's been going on for way too long, it will take the kid AWHILE to get used to his "real father"
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by izeek(m): 9:04am On Jun 09, 2009
there's no qstn the biological father was wronged from inception by being denied access to even visit his son.
the foster father has no rights to keep the boy as long as his biological dad remains alive and has not or ever did reject him.
sometimes women just take things to far and dont reason ahead just cos of thier selfish wants.
see what she put the boy through,and am sure she must have told the kid soomany lies like his dad never wanted him.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 1:20pm On Jun 09, 2009
Outstrip:

Femmy you are so wrong. It was not a legal adoption because the boy was taken illegally. So you are not going to convince anybody otherwise. If his father had abandoned him then and said it was okay for the woman to keep him then fine. As far as the law is concerned his mother is a criminal (RIP) in the US. I hope the biological father wins custody of the boy but it might traumatize the boy too much to take him away from all he knows after losing his mother.

Did the woman smuggle the boy out of US?
What there no proper documentation before the boy migrated with the mother?
If the answer to those 2 questions are NO, then, i can reason with you, however, if they are YES, then, no case.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Nobody: 3:04pm On Jun 09, 2009
i was reading the story on the fathers website ( http://www.bringseanhome.org )and was a really sad event with a child in the middle.
the father has gone through a lot and has vow never to stop fighting until he gets his son back. his ex died during child birth, does anyone knows if the last kid survived?
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by prittigrrr(f): 5:58pm On Jun 09, 2009
Fhemmmy:

All u have said is nice and great, however, from the time the mother took the boy out of USA, and got married to another in Mexico, and the man in Mexico adopted the boy, the boy legally belongs to the father.
I do understand what you mean by the man never knew anything about it, however, there are few things that you need to know, when a divorce in absentia is been done, the man/woman will have to place an advert in the paper informing the man of his/her to divorce the partner, or send a letter to the partner, letting the other person to be aware of the intent to divorce, and in most cases, people always knowingly sending to wrong address, or place an advert where they are so sure the other person wont see it.
So now the woman is dead and no one to fight the divorce proceedings, so tell me who is to be blamed, the step father or the father?
Here is my take, if the man was close enuf to the kid, the father would be aware that the child was gonna be moved to Mexico.
If the father was good enuf, someone that knew about the case would have informed him and he would ave carried out some legal stuff on the case.
So for now, the step father has the legal right over the child and there is little or nothing that the biological father could do, till the child is old enuf to take the step father to court.
Mind you, i am not in support of the step father, but it is just the law.
BTW Mexico/USA treaty when it comes to family law is not that brightly spelled, there is a gray area and that is what the step father is preying upon.


You are right about legality of adoption of the proper steps are taken.  Yes, divorces occur in absentia all the time.  However, you must follow the proper procedures.  If you had knowledge of the whereabouts of the husband  or could reasonably ascertain the whereabouts of the husband, then you must attain personal service.  Iff it can be proven later that you did not do all u could to serve the father/husband with proper notice, the guy can have the divorce and adoption overeturned.  This was the basis of the lower court finding in his favor.  Family law is not gry at all.  In most states and at the international level there exists the Uniform Parental Kidnapping Laws.  This is what the wife  violated and because the stepfather and the step father's father being lawyers and very, very well connected in Brazil, they have been able to circumvent the laws of Brazil, the USA, and international law. 

MRbrownJAY:

i was reading the story on the fathers website ( http://www.bringseanhome.org )and was a really sad event with a child in the middle.
the father has gone through a lot and has vow never to stop fighting until he gets his son back. his ex died during child birth, does anyone knows if the last kid survived?

The second child did survive.  The biological father stated that he felt the step father should now understand how he feels since he now has a chold of his own.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 6:26pm On Jun 09, 2009
prittigrrr:

You are right about legality of adoption of the proper steps are taken.  Yes, divorces occur in absentia all the time.  However, you must follow the proper procedures.  If you had knowledge of the whereabouts of the husband  or could reasonably ascertain the whereabouts of the husband, then you must attain personal service.  Iff it can be proven later that you did not do all u could to serve the father/husband with proper notice, the guy can have the divorce and adoption overeturned.  This was the basis of the lower court finding in his favor.  Family law is not gry at all.  In most states and at the international level there exists the Uniform Parental Kidnapping Laws.  This is what the wife  violated and because the stepfather and the step father's father being lawyers and very, very well connected in Brazil, they have been able to circumvent the laws of Brazil, the USA, and international law. 


So has the blood father got the adoption and divorce overturned? if YES, then you win and he has the right to the child, else, he needs to do the first things first.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by prittigrrr(f): 6:34pm On Jun 09, 2009
Again, this is no longer at the lower court level there in Brazil. I dont think he contested the divorce, but rather the adoption. This has become an international affair with Hillary Clinton speaking with the Brazilian authorities. He has been doing first things first. He has tried over and over to enforce his rights in Brazil. He has traveled there to try to get custody. He won at the lower court. After the step father appealed and won, he went down and appealed again. He was denied visitation over and over. He is following procedures, but the other side has not. There is nothing he can do but keep plowing away. To his surprise and pleasure, the child never forgot him and knew him immediately. As i stated above, the child's first words to him were why didn't you come see me. No doubt wrong took place here. Are you supposed to roll over because you were wronged? You just have to keep fighting even as they change the rules on you.
Re: Who Should Have Custody? by Fhemmmy: 7:17pm On Jun 09, 2009
Then, let us join them to match from western world to brazil and go and whoopps their a$$ there.

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