I actually don't know if this is a global thing, but I've come to notice it a lot around people here, especially the guys.

You see a single woman that is successful at what she's doing, and then the next thing that comes to your mind is to start opining that she must be bitter cos she's in her 30s or approaching 40 and not married. These are the kind of people that feel that for a woman, marriage is the biggest achievement that can happen to her. That no matter what a woman has in life, if there's no marriage, then she's not made, not minding the fact that many married women are silently suffering in their marriage.

In turn, this same thought process goes on to affect the woman as she starts getting desperate and starts having a very low self esteem. The pressure gets to the point where they end up going from one church to the other and in so doing may fall into the prey of men solely looking out for these kind of women to exploit. Only those bold enough to shake off the society's expectation of a woman can actually hold their head high and not give a hoot about what anyone says.

Even women can be their own enemies when a married lady starts using another's singlehood to insult her. In my opinion, that is way below being petty. Now the trend is when people see fine pictures of single ladies on social media, the next question is "where is her husband?", "...who go marry this one wey don reach 30something?", "...too bad that she's this rich and fine with no husband"... poor reasoning I.M.O.

Ladies/Women, your first priority when it comes to happiness is yourself, and not to cater to the happiness of the society. Granted, you may have wanted to marry in your 20s, but if that isn't /wasn't the case, why go on killing yourself about it? Develop yourself the more, be beautiful to yourself, get that money rolling, the career moving, that business booming. If need be, get a baby papa and get yourself pregnant and train the child yourself!. If teenagers can have unwanted pregnancies and still see the child through childhood, successful women can surely do better!

While that last part may not lie well with many, my point still is that you shouldn't go through life thinking having a husband would be your guarantee to having a fulfilled life. Having a great family is beautiful, if you don't have one, align your priorities and have your options open as to what really you CAN DO to make yourself more happy with YOUR LIFE.


#okbye.

Nigerians overrate marriage that's the issue. Although it has advantages but has demerits too. Its like sweet honey packed up in a swarm of deadly bees..how can one reach d honey? Actually God has blessed some women without marriage (although such women usually have their wealth traced to their father/family or father's connectivity) but actually too, for a woman to feel comfortable abt being single at 40, definitely there's an iota of bitterness in her.

Averagely a lady at early 20s is more enthusiastic about marriage than a guy of same age..it just means a lot to them that even d guys wonder if they can ever attain the financial level of whoever is making these ladies freak out and find marriage so appealing that they envy and talk abt their friends marriages till it appears as if a man who can't do such is a failure.

To now find such an lady at 40 with so much un-interest about marriage that she was once flakky about, definitely bitterness must have taken the enthusiastic heart over.

story

Marriage is for a PURPOSE and that's one of God's rudiments for designing & establishing that SACRED institution. All those backlashes people get in their marriages is as a result of following the rudiments of the world before setting out for it and thereafter.

Friends, from my own stand point, I can tell you that marriage is a mystery and the decision of remaining single is God-intervened decision.

But is good you marry and marry for a PURPOSE. For a purposeful marriage has a strong foundation. Founded on God's plan & purpose for it.

Every human is created for his/her own kind, for his/her own missing rib, for his/her own true love.

May you find yours some day.



Modified

In respect to a question.... What is the purpose?


The purpose is KINGDOM PURPOSE. And that will be the basis of your judgement before the judgement seat of Christ.

Individual purposes operate on different grace.. Your purpose on earth is designed by God & known by you & you alone, and is different from mine.

Knowing your primary reason(purpose) on earth determines who you marry so as to MEET your HELP.

God called her HELP MEET meaning there is a PURPOSE why she created her just for you. And if you abuse that purpose of her in your life, you must account for it.

Definitely I agree with this...in this wonderful paradise we called it "earth" ,marriage is not for everyone.. and so what if a lady will stay single for the rest of her life? Simply bcoz she doesn't want complicated things..

And not to mention, so many marriage are broken as well..why? Coz a lot of couple thought they married the right person or they were juz forced to marry someone they do not love...

#singleforlife

Most ladies who throw up the marital status thingy have an extremely faulty thought process. If a lady decides to stay single, so be it, to each his own.

Op,call it African men mentality.

I wonder wat "successful" is without marriage.....im definitely getting married sumday sha....i can't wait to see wat ma lil seeds wud look like.........bkos family happiness can't jst b bought or satisfied wit money nida can itz feeling & joy attached to it b replaced wit anoda........a gud family is Comedy 4 a lifetime

I totally agree with you.... if I am to wrap it all up and summarize it..I will use a word"JEALOUSY "...

KashyBaby:
Definitely I agree with this...in this wonderful paradise we called it "earth" ,marriage is not for everyone.. and so what if a lady will stay single for the rest of her life? Simply bcoz she doesn't want complicated things..

And not to mentions, so many marriage are broken as well..why? Coz a lot of couple thought they married the right person or they were juz forced to marry someone they do not love...

#singleforlife

You just broke a lot of hearts

mynd1:
Op,call it African men mentality.

What made it an African mentality?? Every ill in our society is termed "African mentality". The phrase " African mentality " needs to come stand up for itself.

TruthHurts1:


You just broke a lot of hearts

#thatsthefact
Only the truth will set someone free.

Because, getting married is one of our social and even religious responsibility..
People tend to view unmarried adult (male and female) as socially irresponsible.

Though, marriage is not everything but we should endeavor to fulfill our responsibility!

I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

We live in a primordial and traditional society where a single woman who is single, whether she is not successful or not, is seen as useless, unless she is married, it doesn't matter whether she is happy in her marriage or not.

KashyBaby:
Definitely I agree with this...in this wonderful paradise we called it "earth" ,marriage is not for everyone.. and so what if a lady will stay single for the rest of her life? Simply bcoz she doesn't want complicated things..

And not to mention, so many marriage are broken as well..why? Coz a lot of couple thought they married the right person or they were juz forced to marry someone they do not love...

#singleforlife

Hope you get laid? Cos I'll hate to see all that Filipino lushness go dormant and outdated?

Omotayor123:
Because, getting married is one of our social and even religious responsibility..
People tend to view unmarried adult (male and female) as socially irresponsible.

Though, marriage is not everything but we should endeavor to fulfill our responsibility!

Getting married is a social responsibilty ke? So, the corollary is that you are socially irresponsible if you don't get married?
Weird reasoning.

joseph1832:
We live in a primordial and traditional society where a single woman who is single, whether she is not successful or not, is seen as useless, unless she is married, it doesn't matter whether she is happy in her marriage or not.

Sadly true.. cos the society viewing her as being useless have decided not to mind their own ever increasing problems.

The onus is on the woman involved to ignore haters and luv her life regardless. She has to make the best of her life at every point in time cos the only person that can truly make her happy is herself.

Being single is not a Situation. It's just a status.

even those that has turned punching bag to their husbands even have the guts to insult single ladies when their case is in Amadioha's hand

amicable09:
I have a little ish troubling my mind whenever this topic about older ladies and marriage is raised. One of such question is, is the lady supposed to marry herself?

It takes two to tango after all. A lady interested in marriage and there's no eligible suitor, what should she do? There are some ladies who have only married men approaching them for relationships, what are they to do? Run to the streets and marry any guy who is single because they are above 30 and nearing 40?

Let's stop and think for a minute about such situations, rather than jump into conclusions, calling successful single ladies, bitter.

Let's not forget, some of this single successful ladies make it a habit of abusing people who are not as successful as them, calling them poor and miserable. I believe that normally warrant the usual jabs and yabs people throw at them.

Take Linda Ikeji for example, with what she did with 'sensationalizing' the story about that lady that got married to a portrait. I mean, her reply to Linda was more sensational.

It is funny that you assume that these successful single women are not even interested in marriage. Truth is most them don't want to be just baby mamas. The reason the jibes hurt them is most probably cos they actually want to be married.

joseph1832:
Let's not forget, some of this single successful ladies make it a habit of abusing people who are not as successful as them, calling them poor and miserable. I believe that normally warrant the usual jabs and yabs people throw at them.

Take Linda Ikeji for example, with what she did with 'sensationalizing' the story about that lady that got married to a portrait. I mean, her reply to Linda was more sensational.

Lol. Linda's case is peculiar to her alone. I believe also that if the ladies are bitter they have a right to express the bitter emotions. That she isn't married doesn't mean she can't get pissed or vent her anger publicly.

They are still humans with full fundamental rights.

Creamish:


Sadly true.. cos the society viewing her as being useless have decided not to mind their own ever increasing problems.

The onus is on the woman involved to ignore haters and luv her life regardless. She has to make the best of her life at every point in time cos the only person that can truly make her happy is herself.

Being single is not a Situation. It's just a status.

Pardon me creme de la creme. I believe its a two way thing. Just like amicable09 said, some ladies want to mingle, but nobody wants to mingle with them, may be they're successful and drive fancy cars, now such things scare lilly livered men away, and sometimes, attracts the gigolos.

Some despite the fact that they're not successful, just have genuine bad attitude, now that also scare men away.

So, I believe being single is a status as well as a situation.

amicable09:

Lol. Linda's case is peculiar to her alone. I believe also that if the ladies are bitter they have a right to express the bitter emotions. That she isn't married doesn't mean she can't get pissed or vent her anger publicly.

They are still humans with full fundamental rights.

Yea true. But sometimes one have to try and manage/control his or her emotions. The society we live in prey on people who are quick to flare their emotion.

Ranting publicly might actually make/give people negative impression about you. Even though that's just a minute part of you.

The nigerian society love to see its women as women of virtue. One who is weak and emotional. LOL.

joseph1832:
Pardon me creme de la creme. I believe its a two way thing. Just like amicable09 said, some ladies want to mingle, but nobody wants to mingle with them, may be they're successful and drive fancy cars, now such things scare lilly livered men away, and sometimes, attracts the gigolos.

Some despite the fact that they're not successful, just have genuine bad attitude, now that also scare men away.

So, I believe being single is a status as well as a situation.

Ok...so what d'u call women who get married and get battered/butchered by their husbands? isn't that more of a situation? I could take a poll and ask women what they'd prefer.. Be single at 40 or battered at 40. Ur guess on the vote is as good as mine.

Sometimes it's not about the attitude. Some women just don't want to be married...some are scared of commitment and would rather raise a child alone..so they opt to have a baby daddy.

My issue here is with the stereotypical ideology society gives single ladies. It is not always about her attitude. Men who run from successful ladies should remain on the track..running. They cannot handle them. There are men who can comfortably handle successful women who have no qualms with settling down.

I still maintain that being single is not a Situation but a status. It only becomes a situation to those who have allowed the societal influence to get them desperate. There are women who know where best to channel their time, energy and resources to make better of themselves..rather than die of depression. It all depends on the lady and how she sees herself....not how the society sees her.

Creamish:


Ok...so what d'u call women who get married and get battered/butchered by their husbands? isn't that more of a situation? I could take a poll and ask women what they'd prefer.. Be single at 40 or battered at 40. Ur guess on the vote is as good as mine.

Now that's a thing of choice. I know many women who are married and are being battered by their husbands, yet, the chose to remain in such abusive marriage.

Sometimes it's not about the attitude. Some women just don't want to be married...some are scared of commitment and would rather raise a child alone..so they opt to have a baby daddy.

Now even I can't argue this. Yes I believe attitude is everything. I've lost count how many times I've seen and heard some women lament that they wish their kids have the influence of a father in their lives, that's after realizing at a stage that all children, need the influence of a father in their life.

My issue here is with the stereotypical ideology society gives single ladies. It is not always about her attitude. Men who run from successful ladies should remain on the track..running. They cannot handle them. There are men who can comfortably handle successful women who have no qualms with settling down.

Like I said earlier, a primordial society... I can successfully handle any single lady, I've never been a coward, just as long she doesn't wake up one morning and say "when are you going to propose to me?" Seen this one time too many.

I still maintain that being single is not a Situation but a status. It only becomes a situation to those who have allowed the societal influence to get them desperate. There are women who know where best to channel their time, energy and resources to make better of themselves..rather than die of depression. It all depends on the lady and how she sees herself....not how the society sees her.

I want to believe you're among the women who tow this line of thought.

AfroKnight:
It is funny that you assume that these successful single women are not even interested in marriage. Truth is most them don't want to be just baby mamas. The reason the jibes hurt them is most probably cos they actually want to be married.

How can you be sure it pains them because they actually want to be married? I think it pains them because society disrespects their decisions to remain unmarried for as long as they want. They are hurt because people can't just learn to mind their businesses.

I, for instance, feel hurt when people keep throwing jibes at me cos of my lack of confidence in Christianity. I feel hurt because I feel people should mind their business and not because I wish to be a Christian.

joseph1832:
Yea true. But sometimes one have to try and manage/control his or her emotions. The society we live in prey on people who are quick to flare their emotion.

Ranting publicly might actually make/give people negative impression about you. Even though that's just a minute part of you.

The nigerian society love to see its women as women of virtue. One who is weak and emotional. LOL.

Lol. Very funny! The Nigerian society's choice is rather lopsided. Everyone at one time or the other under constant pressure have flared up in Public. Now, this is not something we attribute to singles alone, married people react to things in Public as well. To say because a lady is getting old and still unmarried, she should bottle up her emotions, she should never speak out, she should conceal, not feel and do not let the world know she's been chocked by their unnecessary demands and expectations from her, would make her "a woman of virtue" as you put it. Hilarious!

Women, I mean real women are not known for weakness. They exude strength. Show me one weak woman and I will show you 10 women who are down because a man, a weak man pulled them to the ground.

For one weak woman out there, there are 10 weaker men existing.

joseph1832:
Now that's a thing of choice. I know many women who are married and are being battered by their husbands, yet, the chose to remain in such abusive marriage.

Now even I can't argue this. Yes I believe attitude is everything. I've lost count how many times I've seen and heard some women lament that they wish their kids have the influence of a father in their lives, that's after realizing at a stage that all children, need the influence of a father in their life.

Like I said earlier, a primordial society... I can successfully handle any single lady, I've never been a coward, just as long she doesn't wake up one morning and say "when are you going to propose to me?" Seen this one time too many.

I want to believe you're among the women who tow this line of thought.

We see this issue differently..tho I don't doubt your points. I just happen to have a more positive outlook on life.

Creamish:


We see this issue differently..tho I don't doubt your points. I just happen to have a more positive outlook on life.

Of course you do. I've never doubted you m'lady. Why do you think I call you creme de la creme.

amicable09:

Lol. Very funny! The Nigerian society's choice is rather lopsided. Everyone at one time or the other under constant pressure have flared up in Public. Now, this is not something we attribute to singles alone, married people react to things in Public as well. To say because a lady is getting old and still unmarried, she should bottle up her emotions, she should never speak out, she should conceal, not feel and do not let the world know she's been chocked by their unnecessary demands and expectations from her, would make her "a woman of virtue" as you put it. Hilarious!

Women, I mean real women are not known for weakness. They exude strength. Show me one weak woman and I will show you 10 women who are down because a man, a weak man pulled them to the ground.

For one weak woman out there, there are 10 weaker men existing.

Why do I have the feeling if we continue this, it might snow ball into a feminist discourse, and this, just like love, is a discourse I'd rather not have.

Thank you very much