2Legit:

marry single mum ke? I no fit o
why create problems for the early life when God did not give you problems.
Single girls don finish? If all girls dey go born anyhow, na them wahala be that; I no fit marry woman wey don born before for another man

God forbid bad thing

I de your side. why you go marry person we no fit stay with the father of her kid? How sure are you that thesame thing will not hapen to you as the other men in her life b4 you?
Most single mothers are not prepared in reality to be A WIFE. Period!!!!

tRoOE:

even if the child get attach with you that is a good thing , take care of the baby like it yours , lol if he respect you than then he went disrespect you by trying to score with his ex , nope you are wrong

i totally agree with that,but you v not met some guys,they dont give 2 and after like a couple of years they ll start with your looking diffrent, or do you remember the good times we shared, or i still have feelings for you and we have a sort of connection ;Dand then the girl to i cant help the feelings i still have for him,you know he dis v d me and yada yada lol u know guys are like kids, the throw a toy away,and when u pick up the toy to put away,the kid starts crying for it, lol

Guys, some of the objections are worth discussing, but there are a lot of single mothers out there that got into those situations without absolute faults of their own. Are we gonna condemn them?, of course not. If God could forgive people who are we to do otherwise?. I'm not encouraging ladies to be irresponsible neither am I saying that a guy should marry a single mother without knowing her very well. It would be very bad if the guy that wasn't there to take care of her and the baby still comes around and she lets him paddle her while she is now involved with a guy who is responsible I think in that situation she has to deal with the consequences besides most responsible single mothers would certainly not go that low. Even if she is not involved with anyone, if the guy can't be responsible she shouldn't let the fellow keep drinking her milk without paying for the cow. Personally I can marry a single mother of 1 but we really have to get along very well and the attraction gotta be there.

Yes of course, as long as there is mutual love there is no problem.

To have 1 issue before marriage could be a mistake, but what will you call a lady with 2 issues b/4 marriage?And to worsen matters, the kids could be from different men. Has she not proved to be a woman of moral laxity? I can't stand such women, i see them as loose and irresponsible cheap things.

I wouldn't advise any man to marry such ladies except if they TRULY repent of such reckless lives.

Afribiz:

To have 1 issue before marriage could be a mistake, but what will you call a lady with 2 issues b/4 marriage?And to worsen matters, the kids could be from different men. Has she not proved to be a woman of moral laxity? I can't stand such women, i see them as loose and irresponsible cheap things.

I wouldn't advise any man to marry such ladies except if they TRULY repent of such reckless lives.

        

You people should watch what you say, if you don't know their story then don't prejudge them. I can't stand people who sit on pedistals and look down on other people as if they're so perfect themselves.

Afribiz:

To have 1 issue before marriage could be a mistake, but what will you call a lady with 2 issues b/4 marriage?And to worsen matters, the kids could be from different men. Has she not proved to be a woman of moral laxity? I can't stand such women, i see them as loose and irresponsible cheap things.

I wouldn't advise any man to marry such ladies except if they TRULY repent of such reckless lives.

So which s worse, to have the kids and look after them like a reliable and responsible mother, or to have like 5 arbortion in a year?

Exactly!!! although I'm not talking of being promiscuous

$$Rhino:

So which s worse, to have the kids and look after them like a reliable and responsible mother, or to have like 5 abortion in a year?

I'm so p***d off right now. 

syren:

Exactly!!! although I'm not talking of being promiscuous

I'm so p***d off right now.

there is no need being pissed, what they fail to realize is that men are to be blamed sometimes, cos a man that knows wont marry the woman will still talk sweet nonesense in the ears of the woman and when belle come, they will run, and we can tell the woman to go hang.
there are just some ladies that are victim of bad relationships.

$$Rhino:

there is no need being pissed, what they fail to realize is that men are to be blamed sometimes, because a man that knows wont marry the woman will still talk sweet nonesense in the ears of the woman and when belle come, they will run, and we can tell the woman to go hang.
there are just some ladies that are victim of bad relationships.

It's terrible, I even understand relationships can break down beyond repair, but to make matters worse the men won't even be involved in the child's life but it's always the woman that gets the blame because she had the decency to love and look after her own children.

syren:

It's terrible, I even understand relationships can break down beyond repair, but to make matters worse the men won't even be involved in the child's life but it's always the woman that gets the blame because she had the decency to love and look after her own children.

In Nigeria, that is a law that need to be in place, cos the man shdnt be walking around and not taking care of his kids, if a man is old enuf to plant the seed, he shd be old enuf to take care of the plant that comes out of it.
It makes me sick when i hear someone has been taken to court for child support, i think supporting ur child shd come naturally to the man.
Some women too need to check out the kinda man they hang around.

$$Rhino:

In Nigeria, that is a law that need to be in place, because the man shdnt be walking around and not taking care of his kids, if a man is old enough to plant the seed, he should be old enough to take care of the plant that comes out of it.
It makes me sick when i hear someone has been taken to court for child support, i think supporting your child should come naturally to the man.
Some women too need to check out the kind of man they hang around.

I must agree, sometimes the warning signs are staring them in the face, especially if he already has kids, but they become blind to it for many reasons. I don't pray to be put in such that situation but having 2 kids by different fathers can happen to anyone, if the man is not willing to stay you can't tie him down by force so, single parent it is. 

syren:

I must agree, sometimes the warning signs are staring them in the face, especially if he already has kids, but they become blind to it for many reasons. I don't pray to be put in such that situation but having 2 kids by different fathers can happen to anyone, if the man is not willing to stay you can't tie him down by force so, single parent it is.

depends on the kind of single parenting. Wedlock or out of wedlock

One gets more respect than the other. Having the ids from multiple marriages vs having kids with various random men

KarmaMod:

depends on the kind of single parenting. Wedlock or out of wedlock

One gets more respect than the other. Having the ids from multiple marriages vs having kids with various random men

that's part of my point, they shouldn't all be seen as "loose" and "irresponsible" as someone put it. She may have done all the right things and still the marriage broke down. She was still young so she decided to give love another try but alas it didn't work out again.

it is just sad that some women find themselves in such mess, but some cant just be blamed.
But i would rather respect a woman with multiple kids than a woman that have arbortion at the movement of the hands of clock.

syren:

that's part of my point, they shouldn't all be seen as "loose" and "irresponsible" as someone put it. She may have done all the right things and still the marriage broke down.

That is alot more understandable compared to have kids out side of marriage with various random dudes.

$$Rhino:

it is just sad that some women find themselves in such mess, but some can't just be blamed.
But i would rather respect a woman with multiple kids than a woman that have arbortion at the movement of the hands of clock.

Couple of things a woman can do before it gets to the point that an abortion is needed. So the whole "oh she's better cos she didnt get an abortion" is stupid, point is she wasted time in doing something before that point.

KarmaMod:

Couple of things a woman can do before it gets to the point that an abortion is needed. So the whole "oh she's better because she didnt get an abortion" is stupid, point is she wasted time in doing something before that point.

Like protected sex?
what happened if the and when the condom get bursted, or she is on a pill and yet still get pregnant, remember nothing is 100% safe.

There is the morning after pill!

We are not talking super sperm here.

@Topic if you want to marry someone with kids you must treat the kids as your own.

If you cant do that dont bother.

$$Rhino:

Like protected sex?
what happened if the and when the condom get bursted, or she is on a pill and yet still get pregnant, remember nothing is 100% safe.

condom + pill don't fail and im not talking about that. I'm talking about after the fact

I'm talking about medication like Plan B and such which doesnt abort anything, just gives you 72hrs to make the vaginal walls to thick to hold an egg, yada yada. so her having the kid doenst make her better, just makes her slow and stupid.

lets get things in their proper perspective,there are single mothers who would rather step up and be responsible for their mistakes by having the child and taking care of him or her,on the other hand like afribiz said some women/girls are naturally promiscous and will have kids for diffrent men,there s absolutely no excuse for that and any man that s looking to end up with them should be aware, there are numerous society ladies in nigeria whose main thing is to have one or two children each for rich and prominent men in the society,so i think the circumstances will tell really

[/quote][quote author=LadyT link=topic=34237.msg2629289#msg2629289 date=1218221293]
@Topic if you want to marry someone with kids you must treat the kids as your own.

If you can't do that don't bother.

I agree and that's exactly WHY I cant be in such a relationship.

$$Rhino:

Like protected sex?
what happened if the and when the condom get bursted, or she is on a pill and yet still get pregnant, remember nothing is 100% safe.

I so much like ur educated mind, but remember that some pple dont have access to all these you are talking about, some dont even know they exist.
We shd send u to africa to educate pple on stuff like this, i am sure we will mkae money under some UN program.

At least you are honest Karma.

I dont have a problem with someone with kids.

But we all have a right to choice.

What I cant stand is the people who lie and pretend the kids dont matter when they do!

By the way Plan B is the same as the morning after pill can be taken upto 72hours after unprotected sex.

LadyT:

By the way Plan B is the same as the morning after pill can be taken upto 72hours after unprotected sex.

if we sell this on campuses in nija, we will make good money.

It wont stop HIV or other STDS though! So its not something to encourage people to take. Also its a very very high strength contraceptive pill. With the way some of these campus whores behave they will need it up to 10 times a week not good!

LadyT:

At least you are honest Karma.

I don't have a problem with someone with kids.

But we all have a right to choice.

What I can't stand is the people who lie and pretend the kids don't matter when they do!

By the way Plan B is the same as the morning after pill can be taken upto 72hours after unprotected sex.

the kids always matter, many children/teenagers hate the idea of a step parent initially so they may be difficult to win over, they won't like you disciplining them aswell. But the mature ones should consider their parents happiness and be willing to cooperate.

*wonders why Rhino is talking to himself*

:p

I think the most important question, do I have a heart big enough to care or another mans child like my own.
Many humanbeings are egoistic and just love their children because they see their children as an extension of 0f themselves.
I think I prefer the man who says outright no I cannot to the man who says yes and then later comes to realise that he cannot cope.
i also got married to a man as a single mum and he made promises of all the love, he would show my kid, but later he never even let the kid into his house, that was a very bitter marriage and I thank god it is over.
When I got a divorce no one ever beleived that I would ever get married again, but God had another destiny for me.
I met a man and the first day we met we wanted to get married, that marriage has held over ten years. Today we have nine Kids.
WE , because he is a father to all.

Yes, I could marry a single mom.

For those who seem to view single mom's as untouchables, what about some guys who are single fathers?
Ladies do get married to them too.

What is so wrong about a lady who happened to be left holding the baby?
There are several reasons a lady may end up a single mom, is it such a sin?

You guys should realise it's almost always going to be difficult to live with another man's children as if they are yours. The children are not likely to accept you as their father if they are stubborn and intelligent; this may lead to frictions.

I cant marry a single parent. If I was a single parent, I wont have any qualms about it but I will never advise a single young man to marry a single mother because he is creating problems for himself from the beginning of his life (except if he has ulterior motives for marrying the single mother)