^^ Who said anything about the Church of England?? We are quoting from the undiluted word of God. You either take it or leave it.
What the bible says about polygamy is thus:
Deuteronomy 17:17
Neither shall he multiply wives unto himself that his heart turn not away[b][/b]

Maybe Church of England was reading from Koran when they approved slavery and banned polygamy. For your information it was the official church of the British government that brought Christianity and colonisation to Nigeria. It was an apparatus of the government that disseminated Christian teachings in Nigeria. They introduced  "Bible to Nigerians.
So without the early Europeans,  would you have known the Bible?

I don't know how many Chinese your quoted psychologist spoke to before ranking them. As far as I know, I am an African, who married to a Scottish woman for 38 years and have seen all types of match ups in marriage, love is number opium of any successful marraige that will bond every other factors to be considered.

This write up is absurd. So the fact that  you do not know how many Chinese the book surveyed makes their findings incorrect? This is an assault on reason especially coming from  someone  who claims to be a professional.Even though you have refused to provide us with your Ugandan facts, most folks here have not questioned how many people were in involved. Do we need the researchers to talk to everyone in Nigeria or China in order to have  credible results? Do researchers in UK talk to  everyone when carrying out  surveys and polls? Why are u arguing fact with sentiments? You should counter facts with facts not emotions. You are not a standard, so we cannot use you as a benchmark for measuring success. Dr Phil's or Oprah's definition of love will not do it for every1 in the world. Kapish!


But one thing you have failed to tell us to strengthen your argument is, where exactly did you rank love in your own marriage ? However, if you are still not married, where will rank love when the time comes?

This argument has never been about me or you. It's about your stated position that polygamy reduces HIV. So, we cannot use you as a standard. Since you are of the opinion that “love” is everything, how  could you reconcile the   fact  that divorce rate in most western societies  is 50%? Why hasn't love conquered  break ups in unions? Remember you are of the opinion that some Northerners don't know anything about love

What I meant was that I will not be polygamous but I will not look down on a man that decides to be Polygamous, it is choice, Marriage should be a choice, as there is no law making it compulsory for every adult to be married, there should also be no law limiting a man from marrying the total number of women he can cater for. What I mean by saying polygamy should be regularized is for instance a Man going into Polygamy should be able to house them in different apartment (preferable different houses), provide the same things for their children, no preferences, before he gets married to his new bride, the ladies at home should consent (if possible sign letter of consent in a court), he should not forget and neglect the old bride(s) and children when the new bride comes in etc.
For instance
I have a family member that had 2 wives, the wives lived beside each other in separate houses, the rule in the family was, the guys have their rooms with the second wife and the ladies have their rooms the the first wife irrespective of who your mother is. That made everybody equal.

If you outlaw Polygamy in Nigeria, what will happen to the Moslems that believe in Polygamy and their Qua ran allows it, It was easy for countries like UK to outlaw polygamy, it is a Christian nation but in Nigeria it will be almost impossible. Even in Israel it is outlawed but not enforced because of a certain group that have a belief that allows polygamy (cant remember their name). This is a very sensitive issue in Nigeria, it should be handled wiv care.

adconline:


This write up is absurd. So the fact that you do not know how many Chinese the book surveyed makes their findings incorrect? This is an assault on reason especially coming from someone who claims to be a professional.Even though you have refused to provide us with your Ugandan facts, most folks here have not questioned how many people were in involved. Do we need the researchers to talk to everyone in Nigeria or China in order to have credible results? Do researchers in UK talk to everyone when carrying out surveys and polls? Why are u arguing fact with sentiments? You should counter facts with facts not emotions. You are not a standard, so we cannot use you as a benchmark for measuring success. Dr Phil's or Oprah's definition of love will not do it for every1 in the world. Kapish!

I think you have enjoyed twisting my words. Because you quoted a psychologist rating what inspired Chinese to get married and disagreed because I personally don’t think that Chinese a strange to be inspired to fall in love with someone and marry them. You can disagree but you don’t have to abuse me. The Uganda problem of HIV is well documented and known to everyone that is conscious of the news for the past couple of years. Don’t take my word for it, go to the UNESCO, AVERTS and other organisations website and check for your self about the fact from Uganda and how Uganda is now a model for other African nation in terms of HIV prevention and living with AIDS.
I don’t know how many Chinese that were surveyed to arrived at such a claim but its very important that is why I asked and response is to abuse me with your Oprah Winfred/Dr Phil taunt.
Depending on population, a required number of people surveyed is needed to make a claim authentic, depending on the issue.
The U.K you quoted, any medical or health issue surveyed by U.K data law has a minimum survey platform of at least 10 thousand people scattered and for political surveys, minimum of a thousand people within an area is needed for such a poll to be deemed as authentic. So the Chinese being over a billion people, you can imagine what the benchmark should be for an authentic survey to be accepted. I was disagreeing with you in ay shape or form.

adconline:


This argument has never been about me or you. It's about your stated position that polygamy reduces HIV. So, we cannot use you as a standard. Since you are of the opinion that “love” is everything, how could you reconcile the fact that divorce rate in most western societies is 50%? Why hasn't love conquered break ups in unions? Remember you are of the opinion that some Northerners don't know anything about love

Yes, the issue is not about you or anybody in particular, but it will be interesting to know where you ranked love before you get married your own wife. What was o top of your rating, instead ranking the Chinese or others. If I questioned the blanket ranking of the Chinese and others, I don’t think I will question yours because it is coming straight from your mouth. So, it is not really about you. Really.
I am glad that you mentioned about the failing marriage rate in the West. It solidifies my argument because most people do not put love on top before going into marriage, for the reason that “REAL LOVE” never fails. It can be weakened with time and then can also be reinvigorated and the West is not an exception to failure to rank love on top of the equation. I

n fact, probably based on people you know or I knew, Nigerians are likely to be the most divorcing ethnic group today in the U.K and it seems the same in the U.S because the law would not allow the men to have the option of polygamy and then the woman will be in a loveless marriage all her life. But if it was back home, she has little or no choice as her husband marries a younger woman and discard her by the side.
Lack of love on the top list is the reason for so many divorce, polygamy, forced single parenthood.

Eziachi

In fact, , Nigerians are probably most likely to be the most divorcing ethnic group today in the U.K and it seems the same in the U.S.
"Because the law would not allow the men to have the option of polygamy and then the woman will be in a loveless marriage all her life"

I have followed the discuss between "Eziachi and Winiret" and didn't want to interject my views but with such quote coming from the learned "Dr", l can not just hold it.
That manner of reason goes beyond absurdity, it is pedestrian and totally myopic!

I bet the Doctor is unaware that "Money is actually the root of all evil" and when women (not all please) who grew up in a society where the culture makes them subservient to their husband ( and actually, their is hierachy/order in heaven also!) suddenly find themselves in an environment (Western world) where they actually get paid more money ( Single Parent Allowance) to kick their husband out of the family home, using state instruments like the Police, at the slightest provocation, even a toddler should expect the kind of statistics we are getting today!

"Absolute power they say,  corrupts absolutely" and most Nigerian women "imported" into the European/American environment can not handle the sudden bestowal of "power and authority" they find on their laps, in these climes.
The result of course is broken marriages and children brought up by such "government sponsored single Mum"!
It started about two decades ago and the result can be seen in the Statistics of British jails where close to 70% of the inmates are youths of "black single Mums"!. Same goes for the U.S.
If husband and wife quarrel in Nigeria, the man (with all their shakara and puffing!) will probably threaten a divorce or to marry another wife  but eventually, tempers will cool down, family and friends would intervene and the next thing you would hear is that she has become his first lady in one office or the other (they still stay together sha).

In the U.K, that "Nigerian wife" will probably throw him out of the matrimonial home, into the cold, (home he pays mortgage on!) with the help of the Met Police, with only a pair of Jeans and T-shirt. Next, she will get a "barring order" that he should not be seen within 10Km radius of the home (some would compound it by bringing-in their "gigolo" boy-friend immediately, to adopt your children!), she would then file for divorce (and that one is free this Christmas ) and then applies for more money as a "single parent", from the government, so it is lucrative to break the marriage, in such environment
There are probably other reasons like "Nigerian men who can not quickly adapt to the western environment where the woman is not only equal in authority in the home, but actually [b]much more powerful[/b] and gets the sympathy of the authority, in any family quarrel (contrast this to the Nigerian situation). Some men just refuse to change and like the Bible itself says "How can two walk together, except they are in agreement"?

The divorce statistics among Nigerian families for countries like Spain, Italy and worst of them, Ireland, will be horrendous, in about five years time,

N.B: I do not wish to offend the good women on this site, my intention was just to highlight the narrowness of the Doctor's postulation.

Lastpage

I don’t think you realised that your opinion is not far off from what I was saying too. At least you agreed that the rate of Nigerians divorcing in the U.K today is absolutely mind blowing.

The reason being the law and power they find themselves with in the U.K. Such laws were well thought after and designed to protect women, they in turn used it against all it was designed for. They use it to bring out the real reason other than love first they married their spouse. They wanted to live abroad, so love doesn’t come into it and when they arrive and thing is not as they seems on TV, they will abuse their host nation’s law and destroy their marriage.
It is not about these Nigeria women being empowered by jobs/money, which is also a good point but some I had seen are as poor as yester-year’s church rats, collecting state benefit from their run down government houses.

While the men on the other hand are rendered powerless by the law to use physical violence to subdue their wife as they would have easily done in Nigeria. Also back home, the man will likely use getting a second wife to put an erring wife in her place but can’t do it in his new country.

All because real love and respect was not on top of their league when they were trying to get married.

Well, without running the risk if going back and forth, my intention is to give a "balanced view" of the cause of this breakdown in the homes in U.K. and the West in general, since the "only reason" you gave earlier was that it was because the men were denied their polygamous cravings! l felt it goes deeper than that.

Thanks for your rejoinder and have a merry Xmas.

Lastpage

BTW: I wish the U.K church leaders would take more interest in this alarming trend but it seems they are surreptitiously in support of of it, for two reasons:

1.) I am yet to hear them make it a topical issue and strongly "preach against it", from the pulpit.
2.) The church Pastors seem to be a secondary beneficiary of such family breakdown as the "allegiance of the wife" then switches to the Pastor and that is one more "hooked-worker" for the vine (grave)yard . That is where that "My-Pastor, My-Pastor" syndrome, came from!

Well as far as the Christian church is concerned marriage is between a man and a woman. At a Christian wedding the man makes a pledge to love his chosen wife until death parts them. So for any man who undertakes this form of wedding polygamy is not an option.
A jilted wife in the West has some form of financial security as there are painful consequences for a man who decides to divorce his wife
Polygamy on the other hand is bad for the woman as there is no guarantee of emotional security and bad for the children as finacial security also is thrown out of the window.

I don’t know how many Chinese that were surveyed to arrived at such a claim but its very important that is why I asked and response is to abuse me with your Oprah Winfred/Dr Phil taunt.
Because you quoted a psychologist rating what inspired Chinese to get married and disagreed because I personally don’t think that Chinese a strange to be inspired to fall in love with someone and marry them. You can disagree but you don’t have to abuse me

Before we get sidetracked, this issue is about how you have  insisted that polygamy should be banned because it's responsible for  the spread of HIV/AIDS and you are saying that Uganda has made progress in fighting the disease without backing it up with  a peer reviewed journal/study that supports your position
I made mention of China, Nigeria and the US in that ranking and you ran way with China. 3 things are possible. 
1. You don't believe  that it's a fact-  its your right to do so , but you should provide me with a different source to solidify your position. “I don't believe in that” doesn't win arguments, facts do.
2 You have not read this text book, why do you challenge the  credibility of  a study you know little about?
3.Facts about this study. 9,000  young adults in their mid 20s who lived in 37 different countries were surveyed by researchers (Buss,1994; Buss et al., 1990). Subjects were given a list of 32 traits and asked to rank the traits  from most to least desirable in a potential partner.

I have not intentionally abused you in anyway, I was alluding to the fact that not everybody subscribes to the western notion of love as Oprah and Dr Phil present on their shows.

Yes, the issue is not about you or anybody in particular, but it will be interesting to know where you ranked love before you get married your own wife. What was o top of your rating, instead ranking the Chinese or others. If I questioned the blanket ranking of the Chinese and others, I don’t think I will question yours because it is coming straight from your mouth. So, it is not really about you. Really.

This is a total contradiction from your stated position that your assimilation and understanding of marriage should apply to everyone. This contracts your earlier assertions that polygamy is the same thing as promiscuity. Would knowing my opinion change your mind that we should not foist on others our beliefs?

I am glad that you mentioned about the failing marriage rate in the West. It solidifies my argument because most people do not put love on top before going into marriage, for the reason that “REAL LOVE” never fails. It can be weakened with time and then can also be reinvigorated and the West is not an exception to failure to rank love on top of the equation.

This is another contradiction that no type of marriage is perfect. Why would  advocate for ban on polygamy knowing very well  that your cherished and espoused monogamy has 50% survival rate in the west? Isn't  this an admission  of guilty while you are trying to be a moral police?

I think common-sense should prevail.

Why would a girl or single lady marry a married man in the first place - and am not talking about the girls that are forced into such marriage? 

I guess a lot of us are mixing too many issues together and jumping to a premature conclusion, based on our understanding of what we think is right and pure "gran-standing" at times!

For example, What is promiscuity?
Is it the same as Polygamy? (as in is it a requirement or an exclusive preserve of Polygamy?) If Yes,
Can we then say that a "serial monogamist" is not promiscuous? (using the definition above)
Is it guaranteed that all monogamist take care of their children and wife? (check what goes on at divorce proceedings )
Can we generalize that all monogamist are bad people (or monogamy is bad) just because a few dont take care of their family?
Is it true that all Polygamist dont love their children or provide for them financially?
Is it true that a man would marry a second wife only if he hates the first?
Is it true that polygamist dont have love for their first wife (lets examine Moshood Abiola lifestyle while alive, as a case study)

It is by have a passionate but impartial examination of such questions that we can draw reasonable observations and conclusions from there-in.

Monogamy, Polygamy and its sister, serial monogamy, is not for everyone; Each man/woman according to his choice, be accountable to God and their conscience.

Lastpage.

sometimes I wish I was born during Solomon's time,God said we shud go into d world and multiply,he never said add, subtract or divide,that was a direct order/permission,I'm getting married to four at least in 9ja,anything goes.I'd rather convert to muslim than not marry four gorgeous women.

This is the picture of polygamy, Another Nigerian governor takes his 4th trophy wife. Who among the two will be the most vocal advocate of polygamy?

And there you go again, Eziachi!

You seem to have a way with "misleading information"?
You can make your point/opinion or position known very candidly, without making false allusions.

The Caption of the picture you posted as "Another Governor with his 4th wife", says nothing about the "woman" being a 4th wife and in fact, it wasn't the Governor at all!

The Caption of the picture (right below the Picture) says: Director General for Media & Strategy TO Niger state Governor, Malam Danladi Ndayebo and His Bride!

Where on earth was it written that she was the 4th bride?
Where on earth did a D.G suddenly metamorphose into a Guv'nor?

Its crucial we present facts as they are, in pursuing our individual agenda.

Please "edit" your post as necessary.
Dont forget that as a "learned medical professional" (as you said in your post), no one would expect the use of "misrepresentation of facts" to buttress a position, on your part.

Thank you,
Lastpage

NB: its also caught my attention that the lady in marriage does not look unhappy at all!
Now l am wondering, if a "single" lady feels happy and so desire to marry a "married man", whose right is it to deprive her of such choice or do we all foolishly believe that its all about money and even if it is, is that the only thing/decision "we all make" that is based on financial reward?

Dont monogamist divorce for financial reward, especially in U.K where it is usually done just before Xmas, when the hubby's financial value is at the highest? Give them a break please.

lastpage:

And there you go again, Eziachi!

You seem to have a way with "misleading information"?
You can make your point/opinion or position known very candidly, without making false allusions.

The Caption of the picture you posted as "Another Governor with his 4th wife", says nothing about the "woman" being a 4th wife and in fact, it wasn't the Governor at all!

The Caption of the picture (right below the Picture) says: Director General for Media & Strategy TO Niger state Governor, Malam Danladi Ndayebo and His Bride!

Where on earth was it written that she was the 4th bride?
Where on earth did a D.G suddenly metamorphose into a Guv'nor?

Its crucial we present facts as they are, in pursuing our individual agenda.

Please "edit" your post as necessary.
Dont forget that as a "learned medical professional" (as you said in your post), no one would expect the use of "misrepresentation of facts" to buttress a position, on your part.

Thank you,
Lastpage

NB: its also caught my attention that the lady in marriage does not look unhappy at all!
Now l am wondering, if a "single" lady feels happy and so desire to marry a "married man", whose right is it to deprive her of such choice or do we all foolishly believe that its all about money and even if it is, is that the only thing/decision "we all make" that is based on financial reward?

Dont monogamist divorce for financial reward, especially in U.K where it is usually done just before Xmas, when the hubby's financial value is at the highest? Give them a break please.

I could say the same for you, you can make your point without been a straight jacket. The word "Governor" I used was not mean to be governor as in position, it a normal term use to denote, a big man, man in charge. Some use "Chairman" too in the same category. But because you can't think and had your warped misconception about me you went wild without getting the satire. The 4th wife wasn't portrayed as fact, but comical presentation of the picture, which shown the man looking more like the father of the bride than the groom.

I think you take yourself too serious, always alluding to what I do for a living, which has nothing to do with picture I posted as a funny side of the debate. If you have any hidden issue about me, that is yours to sort out, try not to bring irrelevant issue like my profession over a picture into it.

Eziachi:

II think you take yourself too serious, always alluding to what I do for a living, which has nothing to do with picture I posted as a funny side of the debate. If you have any hidden issue about me, that is yours to sort out, try not to bring irrelevant issue like my profession over a picture into it.

It should be obvious to you now that this lastpage guy is spoiling for a fight. Why is he getting personal??

This thread is stale.

Eziachi:

I could say the same for you, you can make your point without been a straight jacket. The word "Governor" I used was not mean to be governor as in position, it a normal term use to denote, a big man, man in charge. Some use "Chairman" too in the same category. But because you can't think and had your warped misconception about me you went wild without getting the satire. The 4th wife wasn't portrayed as fact, but comical presentation of the picture, which shown the man looking more like the father of the bride than the groom.

I think you take yourself too serious, always alluding to what I do for a living, which has nothing to do with picture I posted as a funny side of the debate.  If you have any hidden issue about me, that is yours to sort out, try not to bring irrelevant issue like my profession over a picture into it.

I agree with last page, you are misrepresenting and twisting facts to conform to your biases just like you do with your professional judgments.

First and foremost it is a big lie that Nigerians use  Governor to connote any other thing than a current or past governor ( Most past governors drop the governor title after their terms), or at worst a present or past Governor of the central Bank. So for you to say Nigerians call any "big man" governor is either pure deceit or ignorance.

Yes, most  "big men" (especially the very successful Igbo trader) in Nigeria are called chairman, but hat is usually by their workers, colleagues, friends and family and not an appellation the press would carry. The press would rather use the title "Chief".

I am amazed you could deduce that the woman in the picture is a 4th wife by just looking at the picture. I think you should be a profiler, FBI and MI5 are looking for talents like you. You could rule out the possibility that the "governor" is not a widower or divorcee marrying another wife, or even the woman question is not a second or third or even 7th wife, just from the picture. Wonderment as i always say.

Dr., i think you are carrying your "Boko Haram" against polygamy too far.

This thread is stale.

wirinet:

I agree with last page, you are misrepresenting and twisting facts to conform to your biases just like you do with your professional judgments.

First and foremost it is a big lie that Nigerians use  Governor to connote any other thing than a current or past governor ( Most past governors drop the governor title after their terms), or at worst a present or past Governor of the central Bank. So for you to say Nigerians call any "big man" governor is either pure deceit or ignorance.

Yes, most  "big men" (especially the very successful Igbo trader) in Nigeria are called chairman, but hat is usually by their workers, colleagues, friends and family and not an appellation the press would carry. The press would rather use the title "Chief".

I am amazed you could deduce that the woman in the picture is a 4th wife by just looking at the picture. I think you should be a profiler, FBI and MI5 are looking for talents like you. You could rule out the possibility that the "governor" is not a widower or divorcee marrying another wife, or even the woman question is not a second or third or even 7th wife, just from the picture. Wonderment as i always say.

Dr., i think you are carrying your "Boko Haram" against polygamy too far.

I don't know what you are fighting about and this is not about Igbo traders or any stereotype of your fancy for the Igbos. I have tried to expalin what I meant by the use of governor/4th wife. If you are spoiling for a fight over nothing and what wasn't actually said to you, well find someone else, as I don't have a belly for a fight.
This is meant to light hearted but it seem that has put some ants into your pant. It is not my business as what amazes you please.
If where you come from, people don't use words like BOSS, GOVERNOR or CHAIRMAN to denote a big man, then my apologies, no need to commit suicide over it.
If you decides that Chief is the right word, as you decides which word is most acceptable, so chief it shall be and let there be peace. Hopefully.

Cant blv that this thread is still going on

Fhemmmy:

Cant blv that this thread is still going on

Because our lives are boring. Too much time on our hand.

The Caption of the picture you posted as "Another Governor with his 4th wife", says nothing about the "woman" being a 4th wife and in fact, it wasn't the Governor at all!

The Caption of the picture (right below the Picture) says: Director General for Media & Strategy TO Niger state Governor, Malam Danladi Ndayebo and His Bride!

Where on earth was it written that she was the 4th bride?
Where on earth did a D.G suddenly metamorphose into a Guv'nor?

Even though this is an anonymous forum, some folks still think that they can come here to argue emotions instead of facts, even when their  mistakes are blazingly open, they still find a way to defend their indefensible actions. Maybe its inherent in Nigerians not  to accept that they are wrong. I remembered OBJ telling one of his so called  adviser to shup becuase  he(OBJ) thought that the guy didnt know what he was saying, even though the topic was within his adviser's specialty.

Eziachi,
I am not spoiling for a fight as your alter-ego has pointed out.
I agree with you that you are now a comic!

Since the issue is a serious one, l beg to excuse myself from your "comical somersaults"!

Even when caught red handed , some security men caught sleeping on duty said they were "praying"!

Ain't that very COMICAL?

@all. Polygamy is a beautiful idea. Men let's be true to our testestrone. Wouldn't u like to have two or more onome, mixed with 5 or more adama, spattered on the side with 2 or more fatima, zainab, yasite then groom the thing with busty bummi, and not forgetting the itua's, and the rest. That will be utopia on earth.

No.

No

There is a correlation between Polygamy and HIV Numbers.

And usually there is a correlation between Polygamous marriages, multiple premarital sexual partners, and multiple sexual partners after marriage.

However, there are better ways at stopping the spread of HIV than banning polygamous marriages. These are not things you out rightly legislate against. Matter relating to marriage are also governed by State Laws. Some states may accept while some states might not.