becomrich,:

USA population is 300 million . The AIDS level in the USA is at least 10 to 20 times higher than nigeria, even with Polygamy?

Sorry if I get the population figure wrong, but what is the HIV infection figure rate in the U.S? Remember this is not about patriotism. Do you know? state by state. Can you find out? at least for Nigeria, we are working with the figure from Benue. If Benue has 400k can you imagine the figure from Lagos, Anambra, Kano or Oyo state and I heard that River state is close to the top of the league table.

becomrich,:

USA population is 300 million . The AIDS level in the USA is at least 10 to 20 times higher than nigeria, even with Polygamy?

The CDC estimates that there are 1.1 million people living with HIV/AIDS in America. This is far less than the figures reported for Nigeria!

Well that figure from benue state was made up. There can not be 400k AIDs in Benue state. So did all the AIDs moved to Benue state.

They do not have good stat in nigeria.

The reason why AIDs is lower in nigeria than most of the africa countries is because of culture, religion and Prof Kuti.

And a high number of nigerian never have sex before marriage. someone who does is consider an outcast in some culture.

watch broken pot. a film of woman who had sex before marriage.

It is a disgrace in yoruba culture for a woman not to be a virgin before marriage?

I know I'm against polygamy in general. Not a style of life I can consider. But I don't give an acorn if somebody chooses to follow that path in life. Just like for homosexuality. I'm not too comfortable with it, but I cannot be legally against it either. How lame would that be?

Ban Polygamy? Why? 
If the man and his family can handle it, so be it.
Better that than doing "IT" on the outside.

texazzpete:

The CDC estimates that there are 1.1 million people living with HIV/AIDS in America. This is far less than the figures reported for Nigeria!

true

First and foremost, there is already a law against Polygamy - It is illegal. Even at the marriage registry, the marriage councilor would remind you. The problem is in enforcement of the Law.

Like my friend says here;

brooknam99:

Man by nature can neva be satisfied with one partner,so let's not pretend

Although i would rephrase it to; " Man can never have sex with one woman during his life time"

Man by natural instinct is a polygamous animals, and would find various means of going round laws that would restrict his sexual freedom.

Even in advanced countries where the Bigamy laws are more effective, men still find ingenious ways of having multiple partners.

Instead of banning polygamy, i think that relevant laws should be made to protect the first wife, children of the first wife, other children of the other women (whether married or not). Because our Laws as presently constituted is very amorphous, and  is exploited by lawyers, sometimes to the detriment of the first wife and children.

There are many cases where women are better protected by allowing the men, marry another wife, at least they would retain the rights of "Iwayo Agba" (senior wife) like Moji Dopesi. But society forces the man to divorce his first wife before he can marry his new "Sweet Peperempe" (young girl), and the first wife and her children always suffer neglect. (Ask Oluremi OBJ). I even have a cousin in a similar situation, the man was forced to divorce his first wife in order to marry her, and they went through a bitter divorce spanning 4 years.

What most people fail to accept is that sexuality and sex is a very complex issue, because sex is in the genes and the hormones and not controlled by the brain. Whole a man see a good ass and gets a hard-on, it is only a satisfaction of that urge or the power of the holy ghost that can bring it down again.  No threat of AIDs, hell fire or law can do it.

@ Poster, the situation is absurd here in Nigeria. Anyway i don't support Polygamy cos it is an illiterate idea.

i am not in support of polygamy

dernearla:

@ Poster, the situation is absurd here in Nigeria. Anyway i don't support Polygamy cos it is an illiterate idea.

Then do you support monogamy only, but with 1 or 2 mistresses or no marriage, just living together and bearing children then breaking up and finding another live in lover (this is a more literate idea).

I am not supporting or condemning polygamy, what i am saying is that no law can prevent men from having multiple partners. So we have to find ways of protecting everybody's interest, especially the children.

ratio say we get 2.5 - 3 women to one man,  so if dem enforce one man one wife rule, wetting go happen to all de women wey no go fit marry? na how dem go get their own children?  una sabi say, naughty person no be good label for african society na.

Absolutely no, what the Flip[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#990000][/color]? Are you kidding me. Men are so GREEDY. On top this toto thing? Kai nawa oh.

ofcourse;as a christian,the bible forbids marriage to more than one wife.i believe that if a man is not satisfied with one wife then he is a womaniser n will never be content with whatever number he marries.such a man simply needs spiritual cure.

If you the article of the thread again, you will find out where I am getting my facts from. Even Uganda too have joined, no wonder they have recorded the lowest number of infection for the past 10 years in East African. HIV nearly wiped Uganda out by the turn of the late 80s.  I think best on the little I see among just Nigerian immigrants in the U.K alone, Nigerian HIV infection rate scenario is a dynamite waiting to explode

i don't know where u got these junk facts. So Washington DC that has a higher prevalence rate than West Africa is because of polygamy? Look we dealt with this issue before on this forum. Polygamy is part of English Common Law which is a derivative of Canon Law. It was premised on the fact that it was  contrary to Christian tenets. A ruling on this case in England remarked that "English Law was adapted to Christian marriage and therefore wholly inapplicable to polygamy"

It's a good thing in western society, but I dont think it would work in Saudi Arabia. There is also polyandry-one woman with multiple husbands

I cant stand polygamy but to ban it will not be fair, humans have the rite to chose however they go especially in cases of sex, sexuality and marriage. If homosexuality can be allowed (western world) then I think it is hypocritical of them to criminalize polygamy while also over looking infidelity. Polygamy should not be ban, it should be regularized, there should be laws that protect all parties involved especially the wives and children.

Please note, it is not only in Islam that polygamy is allowed some Christian groups allow it e.g Cele

Concerning the spread of AIDS due to polygamy, I get your point poster but banning polygamy cos of this reason will only make people more desperate, a better option is to educate the people about dangers of infidelity, women should be be given more power to refuse sex or demand the use of condoms if she suspects infidelity, compulsory regular HIV status test should be put into the constitution,  polygamous and unfaithful men and women should be made to pay if their carelessness causes havoc on the family.

adconline:


If you the article of the thread again, you will find out where I am getting my facts from. Even Uganda too have joined, no wonder they have recorded the lowest number of infection for the past 10 years in East African. HIV nearly wiped Uganda out by the turn of the late 80s.  I think best on the little I see among just Nigerian immigrants in the U.K alone, Nigerian HIV infection rate scenario is a dynamite waiting to explode

We have been hearing scary AIDS statistics for over ten years now. In fact year in year out the same predictions come out. Once, El-Rufai said 1 in 4 pregnant women in the FCT tested positive for HIV, even my doctor friends in Lagos says that many pregnant women tests positive for HIV ( HIV test is compulsory for pregnant women). But the problems is our general death rate is not significantly higher than what it was pre 1986 when HIV was said to have enter Nigeria.

In fact when we were told that Fela died of aid, we were all scared that Lagos is in trouble with Fela's 27 wives and numerous other mistresses. But surprisingly we have not seen AIDS figures rise significantly (maybe they all relocated to Benue). So i need some explanations.

i see some peeps are advising girls to have babies for men so that they can have the men stay,honestly at this age and time am highly amused that a lot of women(especially black women)belive that having a child for a man automatically holds him to you,look let me tell you if u like u have 100 kids for a man who doesnt love you he will still not love you,let s stop bringing iinocent children into the world just hold a mans attention when he doesnt have it for you,love for a woman from a man is not based on children(when are our sisters goint to ever realise this TRUTH)
It always sadden me when i see otherwise intelligent women do this,dont ever belive that lie for one day

frankkky:

i see some peeps are advising girls to have babies for men so that they can have the men stay,honestly at this age and time am highly amused that a lot of women(especially black women)belive that having a child for a man automatically holds him to you,look let me tell you if u like u have 100 kids for a man who doesnt love you he will still not love you,let s stop bringing iinocent children into the world just hold a mans attention when he doesnt have it for you,love for a woman from a man is not based on children(when are our sisters goint to ever realise this TRUTH)
It always sadden me when i see otherwise intelligent women do this,dont ever belive that lie for one day

My friend, i disagree with your views on this. You see, women and children are the vulnerable groups in our society, so we need to protect them better. If a man has a vibrating di.ck and wants to explore the great depths, then he should be held accountable for the outcomes. I think it is unfair to blame women who are zooming past their prime and are desperately searching for a husband, and then you will find gigolos promising heaven and earth including marriage, just to be able to lay them. That is why i said that there must be relevant laws to protect the kids( even if they are hundred) because it was not the kids fault that the man has itchy di.ck, so the child should not be made to suffer with the woman.

If men are made responsible for all the kids they bring to the world (even if it requires a DNA test), their di.cks would be a bit more responsible.

please Term77
your website is a scrap.

Whats your grouse with polygamy? All that HIV stuff you put there is crap. It is the mindset of those involved to either protect themselves or not. Tiger Woods arguably has more sexual partners than the average polygamous Nigerian but I'm quite sure he's not spreading the virus. Just look for another reason to disparage polygamy. . . like overpopulation or something!

i will go in for any law against polygamy. it has never helped those involved. is not the best way of life. For a man to deal with with two wives ur brain shld be able to manage 4 wives, and most men dont even have the brain to deal with one wife let alone having two

wirinet:

Then do you support monogamy only, but with 1 or 2 mistresses or no marriage, just living together and bearing children then breaking up and finding another live in lover (this is a more literate idea).

I am not supporting or condemning polygamy, what i am saying is that no law can prevent men from having multiple partners. So we have to find ways of protecting everybody's interest, especially the children.

Its not about what law says because if you decide today to make stealing legal, do you see the difference is its illegal as it is now and that doesn't mean it stops people from stealing because its illegal.

wirinet:

First and foremost, there is already a law against Polygamy - It is illegal. Even at the marriage registry, the marriage councilor would remind you. The problem is in enforcement of the Law.

It is illegal if you marry in the court/church.

The constitution recognizes traditional marriages, traditional marriages support polygamy
The constitution recognizes sharia marriages, and sharia supports polygamy.

Polygamy is not directly responsible for the spread of aids, having multiple indiscriminate sex partners does. In fact some will argue that polygamy if encourage will reduces the spread of aids

FBS:

Ban Polygamy? Why? 
If the man and his family can handle it, so be it.
Better that than doing "IT" on the outside.

Its now you are talking sense and comfirmed my whole suspision.  The whole thing about polygamy has nothing to do with any culture or even religion but simply based on sex and for the satisfaction of man alone. It is unlawful in develop lands because they understand that it based on subjugation of the female sex and inequality.

The most ardent supporter of polygamy, especially in Africa/middle East when you ask them if the same privilege should be extended to women to have more than one husband, immediatly, they develop a cold feet. . They will no longer talk about choice, culture or other excuses.
If any one here or anywhere else is ready to share his wife without someone legally, I will join him in the polygamy crusade. And if you can't, then you don't have a leg to stand on supporting out dated man's quest to have his way when is comes to equality of privileges.

I know for sure based on my grandfather tips years ago to me. He told me never to marry more than one wife, though he married 3 in his time, because as he said, it is an outdated culture and not necesary in the modern times. He said to be that in the oldies, especially in Igboland, a man's wealth is often measured by the size of his YAM BARN. So to help till his land, the man had to marry many women to have many children to farm his land and also harvest his vast estate of palm produce.

But according to him those things or lifestyle no longer obtained in modern times, and when I considered that my grandfather died almost 48 years ago.

Iyineda:

I know I'm against polygamy in general. Not a style of life I can consider. But I don't give an acorn if somebody chooses to follow that path in life. Just like for homosexuality. I'm not too comfortable with it, but I cannot be legally against it either. How lame would that be?

You should be able to distinguish between right and wrong and have the courage to stand up for what is right. It is that simple

The idea of looking disdainfully on the polygamy is another European and American effort to trash some aspects of African culture that religion in those continents had managed to subdue.

This is akin to Europeans writing stupidly about Ndigbo not having a well structured system of government at the turn of 19the century because the Ndigbo were not practicing the monarchical system of government which was conversant to the Europeans. Even the Europeans went further to dump praises on the neighbors of Ndigbo who were practicing monarchical system. Unbeknown to poor twats that Ndigbo were practicing a system later to be known as democracy. I would want the Europeans to apologize to Ndigbo and admit their ignorance of a system of government they knew little about at the turn of 19th century.

I would always support the polygamy over the adulterated monogamy riddled with incessant cases of divorce, protracted courts cases of child support and murder of partners because of material gains.

Eziachi:

Its now you are talking sense and comfirmed my whole suspision.  The whole thing about polygamy has nothing to do with any culture or even religion but simply based on sex and for the satisfaction of man alone. It is unlawful in develop lands because they understand that it based on subjugation of the female sex and inequality.

The most ardent supporter of polygamy, especially in Africa/middle East when you ask them if the same privilege should be extended to women to have more than one husband, immediatly, they develop a cold feet. . They will no longer talk about choice, culture or other excuses.
If any one here or anywhere else is ready to share his wife without someone legally, I will join him in the polygamy crusade. And if you can't, then you don't have a leg to stand on supporting out dated man's quest to have his way when is comes to equality of privileges.

I know for sure based on my grandfather tips years ago to me. He told me never to marry more than one wife, though he married 3 in his time, because as he said, it is an outdated culture and not necesary in the modern times. He said to be that in the oldies, especially in Igboland, a man's wealth is often measured by the size of his YAM BARN. So to help till his land, the man had to marry many women to have many children to farm his land and also harvest his vast estate of palm produce.

But according to him those things or lifestyle no longer obtained in modern times, and when I considered that my grandfather died almost 48 years ago.

You've got a good point here. But it looks like its still the men's world   Men will not want to share their women, but they expect women to share. Funny.

OAM4J:

Polygamy is not directly responsible for the spread of aids, having multiple indiscriminate sex partners does. In fact some will argue that polygamy if encourage will reduces the spread of aids

Polygamy is a form of having multiple indiscriminate sex to your wives by one man who will likely return home with the disease and spread it among the innocent wives. So the larger the number of wives he had, the higher the number of direct infection rate. If he had one wife, that means one direct infection. That is just common sense, it doesn't mean that polygamy is the direct cause of HIV but [b]one of the[/b]causes of it wide/fast spread within an area.

Assuming a man that has 5 wives and each of his wives had six children each and he infected them with the disease and they all die, you are looking at 30 orphans directly and immediatly within one confined environment, couple with high poverty level. If he has one wife and she died as a result of being infected by him, you are looking at just 6 orphans. Six orphans in life has a better chance of survival than 30 from one single family. COMMON SENSE!!

That is exactly what happened in Uganda, where it is custom and common in most rural areas for every man to have at least three wives. And there is a community, I visited with some British colleagues in 2001 in a fact finding mission for UNESCO, what remained in so many villages are thousands of little children left with their very aged grandparents, because their parents are all dead from HIV.  In some cases, the kids are looking after themselves because they are the only ones left. And almost 40 percent of the kid are already infected from birth.

That experience will live with me,the rest of my life. Uganda government had to do something and they did because they recognised this fact of life, though people will not like to accept it, but it's a simple logic, but unfortunately it seems that many Nigerians like BECOMRICH are still leaving in denial about the rate of HIV infection as we speak in Nigeria. IT'S A TIME BOMB. And Polygamy is just one of  other reason for fast infection within a confined area.

Eziachi:


Polygamy is a form of having multiple indiscriminate sex to your wives by one man who will likely return home with the disease and spread it among the innocent wives. So the larger the number of wives he had, the higher the number of direct infection rate. If he had one wife, that means one direct infection. That is just common sense, it doesn't mean that polygamy is the direct cause of HIV but [b]one of the[/b]causes of it wide/fast spread within an area.

Assuming a man that has 5 wives and each of his wives had six children each and he infected them with the disease and they all die, you are looking at 30 orphans directly and immediatly within one confined environment, couple with high poverty level. If he has one wife and she died as a result of being infected by him, you are looking at just 6 orphans. Six orphans in life has a better chance of survival than 30 from one single family. COMMON SENSE!!

That is exactly what happened in Uganda, where it is custom and common in most rural areas for every man to have at least three wives. And there is a community, I visited with some British colleagues in 2001 in a fact finding mission for UNESCO, what remained in so many villages are thousands of little children left with their very aged grandparents, because their parents are all dead from HIV.  In some cases, the kids are looking after themselves because they are the only ones left. And almost 40 percent of the kid are already infected from birth.

That experience will live with me,the rest of my life. Uganda government had to do something and they did because they recognised this fact of life, though people will not like to accept it, but it's a simple logic, but unfortunately it seems that many Nigerians like BECOMRICH are still leaving in denial about the rate of HIV infection as we speak in Nigeria. IT'S A TIME BOMB. And Polygamy is just one of  other reason for fast infection within a confined area.

You have an obsession against polygamy that has nothing to do with the health alarm you are raising. Who (which is an authority on the spread and prevention of AIDS had never claimed Polygamy is responsible for AIDS. They say having multiple partners increases the risk of contracting the decease, and a monogamist in today's world usually have more multiple partners than a polygamist.
Your observation in Uganda cannot be used to conclude that polygamous societies have a higher prevalence rate than monogamous societies, because the largely polygamous Arab nations has some of the lowest prevalence rate in the world.

Please temper your hatred for polygamists before you start bombing them.

Well there is the argument That AIDS in subsaharan Africa is caused by male promiscuity on the one hand and a culture of casual  unprotected commercial sex on the other hand.
Often, the patrons of the harlots are husbands,  or even those men with multiple 'wives'.