A lot of people don't understand that marriage isn't for them hence the failure of marriages.

chika98:

A lot of people don't understand that marriage isn't for them hence the failure of marriages.

So when u are so sure that marriage is not for you, what do you do.
After you have been married with kids and realizes that it is not for you, then, what is next/
How do u make the woman to understand, that u just cant do it.
So it end up being a monster u cant let go and yet hate with passion, so at the end of the day, marriage is an overblown act

Fhemmmy:

So when u are so sure that marriage is not for you, what do you do.
After you have been married with kids and realizes that it is not for you, then, what is next/
How do u make the woman to understand, that u just cant do it.
So it end up being a monster u cant let go and yet hate with passion, so at the end of the day, marriage is an overblown act

Don't get married! Stay single

chika98:

Don't get married! Stay single

So who will educate dem ladies that we all cant be married?

Fhemmmy:

So who will educate dem ladies that we all cant be married?

Do I look like a "Don't get married counselor?"

chika98:

Do I look like a "Don't get married counselor?"

It is never written on the forehead . . . . is it?

sodconfirm:

MARRIAGE DOESN'T WORK AGAIN BECAUSE OF OUR FORGOTTEN TRADITION

1. When going to your husband's house it was a taboo to come back.

2. When you have some misunderstanding in your marriage then (those days) family elders will be invited to settle it no matter the magnitude, I don't think that still happens now( the decision in yours)

3. It's some sort of a shame then to have a child without a father.

4. It was also shameful to be a single mother. No body cares now.

All of the above makes divorce or separation difficult, But now western civilization has taken charge, Quite interesting though but you will have to your village to get a wife "that's if many still have one".

The tradition of our fathers are left to rot into oblivion.

1.Marriage is supposed to be a fusion between two matured minds of opposite sexes. Even the bible predicts that in the end time, people would not consider marriage as a strong virtue.

2. Marriage is supposed to eliminate the bliss of playing around with no strings attached. Marriage is supposed to curb and instil more discipline in people.

3. Marriage is supposed to teach people the act of selflessness. Come to think of it, one plus one can never be one. People use this mathematical jargon for marriage which is incorrect. Marriage is 2 - 1 = 1. selflessness. Ignore yourself. Think about the feelings of the other party.

4. Marriage is a bond. Commitment. Fidelity. How can someone who has been stubborn from birth ever change?. How can someone who has always been a flirt change because of marriage?

I think the more the world civilises, the less the urge to marry. ok food for thought, if people could split even when they are making money as a team, how much more when they claim it's based on love.

I would only marry because i feel it's an obligation i owe God. Any reason outside this to me is baseless.

To everyone having fun within marriage and being faithful, to everyone one who was once married, to the well coveted players having all the bliss and pleasures of the world fulfilled, u know, one night stands, twosomes, blondes, everything we do would be brought to judgement.[b][/b]

^^^^^ who says God requires u to marry,
n btw yes is overrated thats not the only way to be with ur partner

yes marriage is overrated, but it's good. i think the problem is many people marry for the wrong reasons. and then when they get married they don't put in enough efforts to sustain the marriage. some people expect everything to work out naturally. i read an article somewhere that if each partner worked at the marriage like they work at their careers, most marriages would be successful. i think its true. many times the woman is working so hard to please the guy (or vice versa) while the guy is taking her for granted, then she gives up and leaves then the guy starts taking her seriously.

Why buy when you can rent?

@OP, Hope that answers your question.

Please can we get it clear? What does the author mean by the word 'over-rated'?

Fhemmy and I took time analyzing the reasons why people get married on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-351884.0.html

The truth is that a lot of people don't even know why they are getting married, or they are getting married for all the flimsies reasons.

Marriage is highly overrated. You should be sure it worths the reason why you are getting married, else let you partner know that you are not cut out for marriage

ehala:

Please can we get it clear? What does the author mean by the word 'over-rated'?

The dictionary explanation if something or someone is overrated, they are considered to be better or more important than they really are.
So in other words can we then say marriages are considered more important than they really are?

i guess marriage is cool,the problem is the over supply of women.why would a guy want to marry when with the aid of technology he can have 4 pseudo wives who are totally unaware of the existence of the others.the moment you marry one however you become an adulterer.

seriously if you have an iota of womanizing in you,no marry cos as your wife dey throw bouquet for reception naa im you go dey identify all the could hav beens supposing you never commit.

why do you think the couple face the altar for most of the church service?cos if the guy face congregation he fit see in old runs or fresh fish straight from the cooler,say i dont and i changed my mind even before pastor ask.

OAM4J:

Fhemmy and I took time analyzing the reasons why people get married on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-351884.0.html

The truth is that a lot of people don't even know why they are getting married, or they are getting married for all the flimsies reasons.

Marriage is highly overrated. You should be sure it worths the reason why you are getting married, else let you partner know that you are not cut out for marriage

The worst thing in life is to one day wake up one morning and you realise that you are 60 years old and start to wonder what in God's name you used your life to do. Only lonely, unhappy and immature people who fear commitment will actually believe that marriage is overated. I'm sure you will get married one day and if you hold this opinion then why do it in the first place? If you say you wont get married then you lie. If you are already married and still hold this opinion then you must lead a very sad life. I sympathize. 

bidemi12:

The worst thing in life is to one day wake up one morning and you realise that you are 60 years old and start to wonder what in God's name you used your life to do. Only lonely, unhappy and immature people who fear commitment will actually believe that marriage is overated. I'm sure you will get married one day and if you hold this opinion then why do it in the first place? If you say you wont get married then you lie. If you are already married and still hold this opinion then you must lead a very sad life. I sympathize. 

well, i believe marriage is great and that it is overrated. i don't think i'm lonely, unhappy, immature or scared of commitment. saying marriage is overrated isn't so much a reflection of the actual importance of marriage, as it is a reflection of people's perception of the importance of marriage. so it is overrated in the sense that people act like it's a do-or-die affair. like u might as well marry just anybody rather than stay single. or like singleness is a curse. i've seen so many unhappy marriages but i don't think that's enough reason to avoid marriage. however, it's better to be happily unmarried than to be unhappily married.

bidemi12:

The worst thing in life is to one day wake up one morning and you realise that you are 60 years old and start to wonder what in God's name you used your life to do. Only lonely, unhappy and immature people who fear commitment will actually believe that marriage is overated. I'm sure you will get married one day and if you hold this opinion then why do it in the first place? If you say you wont get married then you lie. If you are already married and still hold this opinion then you must lead a very sad life. I sympathize. 

You judge what you don't know. Speak for yourself. and keep your sympathy.

Where on earth did you get the bold from? Please speak with facts and not with  some silly conjunctures of your brain

Why would someone wakes up at 60 and not be happy simply because he never got married?

You don't need marriage certificate to show you are responsible. The certificate is only a piece of paper.

You can maintain an healthy relationship and even have children without getting married.

I know lots of unmarried people who are happy living single. And many more married who regretted getting married.

I didn't ask nobody not to get marry, I only advocate for people to be sure of the reason they are doing it.

GL:

well, i believe marriage is great and that it is overrated. i don't think i'm lonely, unhappy, immature or scared of commitment. saying marriage is overrated isn't so much a reflection of the actual importance of marriage, as it is a reflection of people's perception of the importance of marriage. so it is overrated in the sense that people act like it's a do-or-die affair. like u might as well marry just anybody rather than stay single. or like singleness is a curse. i've seen so many unhappy marriages but i don't think that's enough reason to avoid marriage. however, it's better to be happily unmarried than to be unhappily married.

Exactly. Thank you GL.

GL:

well, i believe marriage is great and that it is overrated. i don't think i'm lonely, unhappy, immature or scared of commitment. saying marriage is overrated isn't so much a reflection of the actual importance of marriage, as it is a reflection of people's perception of the importance of marriage. so it is overrated in the sense that people act like it's a do-or-die affair. like u might as well marry just anybody rather than stay single. or like singleness is a curse. i've seen so many unhappy marriages but i don't think that's enough reason to avoid marriage. however, it's better to be happily unmarried than to be unhappily married.

You are talking as if one wakes up one morning and decides to marry. The arguement is if marriage itself is worthwhile and not why marriages fail. If a person is dumb enough to marry whoever he/she feels at the drop of a dime then you deserve the horror stories/experience you get.

OAM4J:

You judge what you don't know. Speak for yourself. and keep your sympathy.

Where on earth did you get the bold from? Please speak with facts and not with some silly conjunctures of your brain

Why would someone wakes up at 60 and not be happy simply because he never got married?

You don't need marriage certificate to show you are responsible. The certificate is only a piece of paper.

You can maintain an healthy relationship and even have children without getting married.

I know lots of unmarried people who are happy living single. And many more married who regretted getting married.

I didn't ask nobody not to get marry, I only advocate for people to be sure of the reason they are doing it.

I do not know which planet you are from but i do not know anybody in my circle who is of marriage age and is single and happy about it. You are talking as if you are 10 years old. Even Nigerians wey don tey die for abroad no get that messed up mentality. like i said i sympathize with you. I sense you are posting for the gallery.

bidemi12:

I do not know which planet you are from but i do not know anybody in my circle who is of marriage age and is single and happy about it. You are talking as if you are 10 years old. Even Nigerians wey don tey die for abroad no get that messed up mentality. like i said i sympathize with you. I sense you are posting for the gallery.

Now I see see your shallowness and I regret wasting my time responding to you.

One advice. Wake up & look around you. You are more than 25yrs behind. You actually need lots of sympathy.

bidemi12:

You are talking as if one wakes up one morning and decides to marry. The arguement is if marriage itself is worthwhile and not why marriages fail. If a person is dumb enough to marry whoever he/she feels at the drop of a dime then you deserve the horror stories/experience you get.

read the topic again, it's not asking if marriage is worthwhile but if it is overrated. in case u've not noticed, many singles in their thirties marry out of necessity and not for love. i've met some unmarried people in their 40s and 50s who are happy and who would like to be married. u have to realize that the fact that single people want to get married doesn't mean they are unhappy. i, for example, would like to get married but i'm not unhappy. marriage counselors usually say that single unhappy people would still be unhappy when they get married.

btw, u really don't have to be rude because people have differing opinions from yours.

bidemi12:

I do not know which planet you are from but i do not know anybody in my circle who is of marriage age and is single and happy about it. You are talking as if you are 10 years old. Even Nigerians wey don tey die for abroad no get that messed up mentality. like i said i sympathize with you. I sense you are posting for the gallery.

well, if this post doesn't show that marriage is overrated i wonder what does.

Here is it. I am not a church goer, I not a church worker , I am born again. because church goer and church worker does not mean you are born again. Been born again is been transform in your mind. The real issue is greed and foolishness. 
And when one partner is proud and arrogant. It kills a marriage.
You cant only have a good marriage if you have two humble and honest people. If the other people is a liar and a cheat, you cant have a good marriage.
If a person is arrogant and proud. How can they have good marriage.

If your marriage depend on your pastor or church or parent. You would never have a good marriage. Look I have an aunty whose whole life was destroyed by a pastor. I am telling you the truth. if i am telling a lie her cousin use to be with the NTA, you know her. The pastor was a 419 pastor. He was a pastor because he was collecting thier money and telling them lies.  That why you find me, critic pastor alot. Till this moment I am talking this aunty of mine, never had a baby. She should be about 60 years now. Her married got destroyed because she assume that all pastors are men of God. That not truth. If a pastors is looking for the down fall of your marriage. How can that man be a pastors.

You see let me put it this way have you seen Pastor Adeboye wife going to Bishop Oyedepo church every sunday?  No. If Pastor Adeboye start going to Bishop Oyedepo church , Do you think Bishop Oyedepo would question it. If he is a man of God? But if he does not question it. He is a false pastor. It means , he is more interested in the tithe and offering you offer him than your life.

What Am I saying is that God has a principle. I dont care if you are in North america. There is a principle God as laid in the bible if one person in a relationship does not follow it. The marriage is over.

Take your external family out of your marriage. If your sister, mother , father , pastor and brother are now the people, who determine your life  is finished. Look your brother only care for his children, so is your sister. When they say kill one person. They would shoot your child and let thier only child live. This is wisdom. It is like a story of a witch, they say bring your husband let us eat today, why dont you ask them, why they have not brought thier own husband, so that you can eat him first.??

Look, if you give pastor adeboye a gun and in a boat one person need to live. Your child or pastor adeboye child. 1 second history is made. Why, the yorubas says ti eni te ni, te to te to.  Well I dont  know how to explain this in english. But its means what is your is your and what is others is others.


If you give an igboman the chance to kill an igboman or kill a yorubaman to save one. The igbo man would shoot down the yoruba man several times. Why? They igbos would call it "Nkem". That how life and marriage is. If you take your partner like your, it would work. If your put other thing above your partner like mother, sister, brother, pastor , church and others. Your marriage would never work.

I say it again. The igbos call it   " Nkem"

i don't think marriage is 'overrated' it's just that most people rush into it when they have nothing to show for before enterin, they aren't financially fit for marriage or emotionally or morally fit. and those kind of people after a year or two or 7 end up realising that they never really loved or sometime even like eachother, it was just circumstances at that time that made them want to get their feeling 'legalised'.
But i do believe in marriage. i'd love to end up with someone who be my companion for life, who i understood just as much as he understood me. who'd know that when i'm rolling my eyes it's because someone made an ass of himself, who could read my thought, my every movement just as good as i can read his every movement, who could provide for me, for our children, who i wouldn't judge and wouldn't judge me and back me up no matter what.
marriage isn't overrated sweetie. it's us that gives marriage a bad name. us, nigerians who feel woman whould be married at 25, and force firstborn male into marryin against his will, so he ends up hatin his wife, who tells us if you aren't married you're a nobody so we all rush into it so we don't become 'nobody's', Sad

becomrich;:

Here is it. I am not a church goer, I not a church worker , I am born again. The real issue is greed and foolishness. 
And when one partner is proud and arrogant. It kills a marriage.
You cant only have a good marriage if you have two humble and honest people. If the other people is a liar and a cheat, you can have a good marriage.
If a person is arrogant and proud. How can they have good marriage.

If you marriage depend on your pastor or church or parent. You would never have a good marriage. Look I have an aunty whose whole life was destroyed by a pastor. I am telling you the truth. if i am telling a lie her cousin use to be with the NTA, you know her. The pastor was a 419 pastor. He was a pastor because he was collecting thier money and telling them lies.  That why you find me, critic pastor alot. Till this moment I am talking this aunty of mine, never had a baby. She should be about 60 years now. Her married got destroyed because she assume that all pastors are men of God. That not truth. If a pastors is looking for the down fall of your marriage. How can that man be a pastors.

You see let me put it this way have you seen Pastor Adeboye wife going to Bishop Oyedepo church every sunday?  No. If Pastor Adeboye start going to Bishop Oyedepo church , Do you think Bishop Oyedepo would question it. If he is a man of God? But if he does not question it. He is a false pastor. It means , he is more interested in the tithe and offering you offer him than your life.

What Am I saying is that God has a principle. I dont care if you are in North america. There is a principle God as laid in the bible if one person in a relationship does not follow it. The marriage is over.

Take your external family at of your marriage. If your sister, mother , father , pastor and brother are now the people, who determine your life  is finished. Look your brother only care for his children, so is your sister. When they say kill one person. They would shoot your child and let thier only child life. This is wisdom.

Look, if you give pastor adeboye a gun and in a boat one person need to live. Your child or pastor adeboye child. 1 second history is made. Why, the yorubas says ti eni te ni, te to te to.  Well I dont need know to to explain this in english. But its means what is your is your and what is others is others.


If you give an igboman the chance to kill an igboman or kill a yorubaman to save one. The igbo man would shoot down the yoruba man several times. Why? They igbos would call it "Nkem". That how life and marriage is. If you take your partner like your, it would work. If your put other thing above your partner like mother, sister, brother, pastor , church and others. Your marriage would never work.

I say it again. The igbos call it   " Nkem"

becomrich;:

Here is it. I am not a church goer, I not a church worker , I am born again. The real issue is greed and foolishness. 
And when one partner is proud and arrogant. It kills a marriage.
You cant only have a good marriage if you have two humble and honest people. If the other people is a liar and a cheat, you can have a good marriage.
If a person is arrogant and proud. How can they have good marriage.

If your marriage depend on your pastor or church or parent. You would never have a good marriage. Look I have an aunty whose whole life was destroyed by a pastor. I am telling you the truth. if i am telling a lie her cousin use to be with the NTA, you know her. The pastor was a 419 pastor. He was a pastor because he was collecting thier money and telling them lies.  That why you find me, critic pastor alot. Till this moment I am talking this aunty of mine, never had a baby. She should be about 60 years now. Her married got destroyed because she assume that all pastors are men of God. That not truth. If a pastors is looking for the down fall of your marriage. How can that man be a pastors.

You see let me put it this way have you seen Pastor Adeboye wife going to Bishop Oyedepo church every sunday?  No. If Pastor Adeboye start going to Bishop Oyedepo church , Do you think Bishop Oyedepo would question it. If he is a man of God? But if he does not question it. He is a false pastor. It means , he is more interested in the tithe and offering you offer him than your life.

What Am I saying is that God has a principle. I dont care if you are in North america. There is a principle God as laid in the bible if one person in a relationship does not follow it. The marriage is over.

Take your external family out of your marriage. If your sister, mother , father , pastor and brother are now the people, who determine your life  is finished. Look your brother only care for his children, so is your sister. When they say kill one person. They would shoot your child and let thier only child live. This is wisdom. It is like a story of a witch, they say bring your husband let us eat today, why dont you ask them, why they have not brought thier own husband, so that you can eat him first.??

Look, if you give pastor adeboye a gun and in a boat one person need to live. Your child or pastor adeboye child. 1 second history is made. Why, the yorubas says ti eni te ni, te to te to.  Well I dont  know how to explain this in english. But its means what is your is your and what is others is others.


If you give an igboman the chance to kill an igboman or kill a yorubaman to save one. The igbo man would shoot down the yoruba man several times. Why? They igbos would call it "Nkem". That how life and marriage is. If you take your partner like your, it would work. If your put other thing above your partner like mother, sister, brother, pastor , church and others. Your marriage would never work.

I say it again. The igbos call it   " Nkem"

GL:

LMAOOOOOOOOOOoooOo @ becomerich's long-winded epistle.

cryptic as$ nucca and his alien lingo

becomrich;:

It is like a story of a witch, they say bring your husband let us eat today, why dont you ask them, why they have not brought thier own husband, so that you can eat him first.??

ohgosh!! tears are rolling

becomrich;:

If you give an igboman the chance to kill an igboman or kill a yorubaman to save one. The igbo man would shoot down the yoruba man several times. Why? They igbos would call it "Nkem". That how life and marriage is. If you take your partner like your, it would work. If your put other thing above your partner like mother, sister, brother, pastor , church and others. Your marriage would never work.

I say it again. The igbos call it " Nkem"

Several??

But you made some valid points