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My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me - Family (2) - Nairaland

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My Wife Wants Me To Beg For Intercourse / My Wife Wants To Leave Me / "My Wife Wants To Bring Her 7-Year-Old Girl She Had Before We Met To My Home" (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by itoldu: 11:42am On Apr 26, 2017
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Benekruku(m): 11:43am On Apr 26, 2017
Both of you do have a problem!



Concentrate on your union and dont give a fu*k about what anybody thinks, feels or say cos if u wanna always include that, You guys can NEVER last long.





The marriage is between you both......



4 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by GeneralOjukwu: 11:45am On Apr 26, 2017
Mr Man...be a man & have some balls. Your family &your wife have marked you a weakling to toss around.

Most of the comments here are on the side of the wife. That's amusing.

There's a proverb - "What elders can see from afar, a youngster can't" WHY DO THEY UNANIMOUSLY DISLIKE HER? They might see something that you can't see due to Kama Sutra.

Whomever you decide to side, make a stance now. Just remember you would be a fool to abandon your blood. You would regret it




You can find another wife tomorrow...Can you find other parents? Vagina can be magnetic, walahi

2 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by nmreports: 11:45am On Apr 26, 2017
deleSayo:
Since I married my wife, we noticed signs subtle signs that my family dont like her.

From day one of introducing her to the family, my elder brother's wife treated her with so much disrespect and everyone else followed suit. We ignored this and proceeded to marry.

For trad wedding, I gave money to my parents to help purchase the items for her bride price but on the day,  I was pained to see that the items were significantly incomplete (my wife noticed this too and kept it in her heart). She later told me that she saw my parents looking bored at the church wedding;as if they couldnt wait to leave. I was surprised because I saw that too but thought my wife hadn't noticed.

When we fell pregnant, they failed to acknowledge my wife's pregnancy throughout until the birth of the baby. Furthermore, my mother failed to show up for omugwo, leaving us alone to care for the newborn child.

All these things have built up resentment in my wife. She takes out the frustration on me. Things are so bad that my wife has completely isolated herself from all members of my family. She refuses to communicate with them or attend any functions.

Recently, I got wind that she is making secret plans to abscond with our baby and go live with her mother who is based abroad. Please I dont want to lose my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me but I can see clearly that she now despises both me and my family.

The marriage is in shambles. She believes that I failed to defend and protect her. not that I didnt feel the pain. Its just that I didnt know how to handle the situation. Please how can I resolve this?
 

Have you asked her what she would like you to do in other to resolve this?

# Dont mind everyone saying you are not man enough. They are just babbling and they are not perspective.
# Dont also believe or think your wife is doing the right thing... Yes she is unhappy but its you she married isnt it?.
# I dont expect you to force your family to love her... You cant.
# I dont also expect you to fight your family and most especially mum for your wife.
# I believe you must have tried to speak with your mum and family too.
# I also believe that someone is the one sowing this discord in the family but dont resent the person as you could be wrong.

All the above are my personal opinion. What I believe you should strongly do is to sit her down and ask how she would like you to resolve this and do as told.

Good luck delesayo

1 Like

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Jabioro: 11:46am On Apr 26, 2017
You're not old/grown enough to be called a man. All the blames according to your narration is still your fault, weather you like it on not I would rub it to your face.. Yours parents, your brother wife and any other family members got their life to live, you have yours with your heartthrob.. You allowed them rules you in your domain.. Let your family members know this henceforth you don't want see any of them around you except if you're still living with them in a family compound. If so get your own apartment, live far from them and be in charge of your life and family.. simple

2 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by morzook(m): 11:46am On Apr 26, 2017
is it possible for several people to not like someone for no just reason? your story is incomplete oga. every other person in your family doesn't like your wife and you didn't deem it fit to know why.

1 Like

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by musa7m(m): 11:47am On Apr 26, 2017
If any thing happen to you tomorrow man....your wife go see hell...na so e dey start til the day the man no dey again...na den your family go start dey talk say na she kill you...#justsaying

6 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Allergic(m): 11:51am On Apr 26, 2017
I am not married but we have a trend in my family.

Honour due to the husband is honour due to the wife. You are expected to respect my wife the way you respect me because the wife is the extension of the husband - that's my family for you.

Guy you f**kup. Go beg your Wife and be the man you're suppose to be. Anyone loyal to me is expected to be loyal to my wife...

4 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by DJInfluence: 11:51am On Apr 26, 2017
HungerBAD:

Brother.

Your new family is and should be your only priority. Have a honest heart to heart conversation with her,and apologize to her if you had given her the impression you were not being a pillar to her.

Your wife should be your Rock.

To your extended family: A real man should know when to draw that line,and never ever let your family cause your wife any kind of physical or emotional anguish.

Your wife's mother lives overseas and your mom could not come help with the new baby after birth?sorry to say it even if she is your mom,but your Mom is wicked.

I say Amen to this.
I had a similar experience only that i was able to nib it in the bud before it degenerated. In my case, my wife was just taking everything without a fight back and this pissed me off. I never fail to make my own family know that disrespecting my wife is disrespecting me and I had to force my wife to take a stand and fight back since I won’t always be around to fight for her. Now they can´t even trample on her and she has been grateful to me for pushing her to be courageous. We have been blissfully married for 15 years now. And my family knows their place.
So my friend, you have to make your extended family know where your loyalty lies. It should be your wife and child. Why do you kept quiet when you notice the things there were doing to her? If you can´t protect your wife from the greatest threat there is (which is always your family) then she will never be able to count on you when the chips are down, hence her desire to leave. It is not for lack of Love but for lack of the husbandly protection you were supposed to afford her.

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Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Kosy79(f): 11:52am On Apr 26, 2017
HungerBAD:
Nothing serious here.

Your story omitted some very important details. Like how close you are to your family?do you guys live in the same city?how often do they come to your home?did your parents not want you to get married to her?

Everybody goes through this stage in the marriages,and that is loyalty to either wife or family.

Brother.

Your new family is and should be your only priority. Have a honest heart to heart conversation with her,and apologize to her if you had given her the impression you were not being a pillar to her.

Your wife should be your Rock.

To your extended family: A real man should know when to draw that line,and never ever let your family cause your wife any kind of physical or emotional anguish.

Your wife's mother lives overseas and your mom could not come help with the new baby after birth?sorry to say it even if she is your mom,but your Mom is wicked.
Very wicked indeed. Na type wey these girls dey pray make she die before their sons go marry dem.

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Sweetguy25: 11:57am On Apr 26, 2017
Looks like an inter tribal marriage

2 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Coefficient(m): 11:57am On Apr 26, 2017
This story annoys me!

You're a weakling mister! Apart from love, a woman needs a man that can stand up for her, defend her and speak for her.

From your narration, you haven't done any of these and you expect her to stay in an environment where she's hated and you, the supposed defender is a weakling? You must be a joke!

No one dare disrespect my girlfriend talk more my wife!

3 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Prales(m): 11:59am On Apr 26, 2017
Two things, you either choose your wife or your family. But you will be very unreasonable to destroy your home on account of your family. I guess some of your family members are married. Will they be willing to sacrifice their respective homes (wives/husbands, or even girl/boy friends) for the general family? If no, then draw the line and mend things with your wife, especially now that you guys have a child. My take, though.



deleSayo:
Since I married my wife, we noticed signs subtle signs that my family dont like her.

From day one of introducing her to the family, my elder brother's wife treated her with so much disrespect and everyone else followed suit. We ignored this and proceeded to marry.

For trad wedding, I gave money to my parents to help purchase the items for her bride price but on the day,  I was pained to see that the items were significantly incomplete (my wife noticed this too and kept it in her heart). She later told me that she saw my parents looking bored at the church wedding;as if they couldnt wait to leave. I was surprised because I saw that too but thought my wife hadn't noticed.

When we fell pregnant, they failed to acknowledge my wife's pregnancy throughout until the birth of the baby. Furthermore, my mother failed to show up for omugwo, leaving us alone to care for the newborn child.

All these things have built up resentment in my wife. She takes out the frustration on me. Things are so bad that my wife has completely isolated herself from all members of my family. She refuses to communicate with them or attend any functions.

Recently, I got wind that she is making secret plans to abscond with our baby and go live with her mother who is based abroad. Please I dont want to lose my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me but I can see clearly that she now despises both me and my family.

The marriage is in shambles. She believes that I failed to defend and protect her. not that I didnt feel the pain. Its just that I didnt know how to handle the situation. Please how can I resolve this?
 
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by humblemikel(f): 12:07pm On Apr 26, 2017
Sweetguy25:
Looks like an inter tribal marriage
exactly my thought
this happens when an Igbo man marries a girl from other tribe
those people so much hate the existence of other tribes
and i dont know why
only few good hearts comes from there

1 Like

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Nobody: 12:07pm On Apr 26, 2017
I Despise Men Who Behave Like Children. It Is D Husbands Duty To Protect His Wife, Even From Family Members. He Must Defend His Wife Even If It Means Shuning Other Family Members Cos His Wife Protects Him From Exploitation By His Family. Thats Why Its Good To Leave Ur Father House When Ur Married.

3 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by jwart(m): 12:09pm On Apr 26, 2017
Do your homework with your family let them understand your feeling let them see reasons why they must love your wife. At least let 45 or 50%of your family member like her. You own your family you should have known what they want so give your wife the tips on how to win some of your family member's heart.
Truly you are building your own family but never sacrifice your family for your wife try to balance the two.
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by tossie101(f): 12:10pm On Apr 26, 2017
deleSayo:
Since I married my wife, we noticed signs subtle signs that my family dont like her.

From day one of introducing her to the family, my elder brother's wife treated her with so much disrespect and everyone else followed suit. We ignored this and proceeded to marry.

For trad wedding, I gave money to my parents to help purchase the items for her bride price but on the day,  I was pained to see that the items were significantly incomplete (my wife noticed this too and kept it in her heart). She later told me that she saw my parents looking bored at the church wedding;as if they couldnt wait to leave. I was surprised because I saw that too but thought my wife hadn't noticed.

When we fell pregnant, they failed to acknowledge my wife's pregnancy throughout until the birth of the baby. Furthermore, my mother failed to show up for omugwo, leaving us alone to care for the newborn child.

All these things have built up resentment in my wife. She takes out the frustration on me. Things are so bad that my wife has completely isolated herself from all members of my family. She refuses to communicate with them or attend any functions.

Recently, I got wind that she is making secret plans to abscond with our baby and go live with her mother who is based abroad. Please I dont want to lose my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me but I can see clearly that she now despises both me and my family.

The marriage is in shambles. She believes that I failed to defend and protect her. not that I didnt feel the pain. Its just that I didnt know how to handle the situation. Please how can I resolve this?
 

Hmm serious wahala. . But u should defend ur wife na..
By the way are u guys from the same place?
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by dominique(f): 12:11pm On Apr 26, 2017
I'm sensing some class differences between your wife and your family. They're probably treating her that way due to inferiority complex. Either that or you're from different tribes and we know a lot of our people are not welcoming to new tribes. I can't give any advice better than what has been given on the first page, wishing you all the best in your marriage.

6 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by JamesReacher(m): 12:15pm On Apr 26, 2017
GeneralOjukwu:
Mr Man...be a man & have some balls. Your family &your wife have marked you a weakling to toss around.

Most of the comments here are on the side of the wife. That's amusing.

There's a proverb - "What elders can see from afar, a youngster can't" WHY DO THEY UNANIMOUSLY DISLIKE HER? They might see something that you can't see due to Kama Sutra.

Whomever you decide to side, make a stance now. Just remember you would be a fool to abandon your blood. You would regret it




You can find another wife tomorrow...Can you find other parents? Vagina can be magnetic, walahi
Shut the fuvk up please! So u are going to sum up everything to what elders see from above bullshit abi. Use sense when using proverbs. Being related by blood don't mean shit if they don't want the best for you, he has acknowledged the love for his wife so why do you insinuate him into leaving her. Op should have been a man by avoiding scenarios like this, because she comes from a rich family and she would lack respect...they already judged her character without knowing her at least. Shut the fvck up again.

10 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Nobody: 12:16pm On Apr 26, 2017
ONE QUESTION-------IS UR FAMILY TAKING CARE OF U AND UR FAMILY I MEAN FEADING U AND UR WIFE IF NO THEN UA NOT A MAN AND NOT YET READY FOR MARRIAGE BECOX UR NEW FAMILY AS FAR AS MARRIAGE IS CONCERN IS UR TOP PRIORITY....... MANY PEOPLE GET MARRIED COX THEY ARE OF AGE OR OTHERS ARE MARRYING BUT DON'T UNDERSTAND MARRIAGE AND IT'S MEANING...... AM NOT MARRIED YET BUT JUST AS MY G. F OR FIANCÉ...... U DARE NOT INSULT HER EVEN AS MY G.F TALK MORE OF MARRIAGE...... BECOX U DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS FOR A WOMAN TO LEAVE HER FAMILY AND COME TO MAKE UR OWN FAMILY.. ....TO BEAR U CHILDREN AND PAINS THAT GOES WITH IT.......MESS WITH MY G.F I GIVE U A FIGHT OF UR LIFE........MESS WITH MY WIFE I GIVE U WAR DON'T CARE WHO THE Bleep UA.

1 Like

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by GeneralOjukwu: 12:17pm On Apr 26, 2017
JamesReacher:
Shut the fuvk up please! So u are going to sum up everything to what elders see from above bullshit abi. Use sense when using proverbs. Being related by blood don't mean shit if they don't want the best for you, he has acknowledged the love for his wife so why do you insinuate him into leaving her. Op should have been a man by avoiding scenarios like this, because she comes from a rich family and she would lack respect...they already judged her character without knowing her at least. Shut the fvck up again.

yawn...when you are done with your tantrum, change your diapers....yawn....
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by NoToPile: 12:19pm On Apr 26, 2017
You see your people treating your wife badly and you don't say anything about it, for her to plan to abscond it has gotten to a very terrible level.

They don't love her , accepted but they have to respect her.And why is a co wife frustrating your wife , can't you tell your elder brother to warn his wife.

There are families who really don't like their wife but you dare not disrespect her simply because of the husband.

She seems not to be someone that can stand up for her self , stand up and defend your wife.

3 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by JamesReacher(m): 12:20pm On Apr 26, 2017
GeneralOjukwu:


yawn...when you are done with your tantrum, change your diapers....yawn....
You sef reasoned it abi. Very good
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by GeneralOjukwu: 12:20pm On Apr 26, 2017
morzook:
is it possible for several people to not like someone for no just reason? your story is incomplete oga. every other person in your family doesn't like your wife and you didn't deem it fit to know why.



This is exactly what i advised the OP to do

The guy sounds pvssywhipped and by the time he comes to his senses after he has abandoned his family, his eyes would clear.

Ask what the whole family doesn't have access to that our OP has? I bet the gal has a Black Belt in Bedroom Karate and a PhD in Lips Wrestling
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by Eno38151: 12:22pm On Apr 26, 2017
1st things first, when you get the chance have a sit down (you and your parents only dont allow your other siblings to come and join or chuck mouth, they may be the ones poisoning your parents mind) if they have some false notions about her, you can easily clear it, or just for the sake of peace you can ask your wife to accept the blame (even though she isnt guilty) and apologize to them. If they just hate her kuma na patience things 4 both of una.

By the way whatever your parents do dont spark or quarrel with them, appeal to them with gentle/kind emotions to see what they are doing to "the mother of their grandchild". And defend her whenever you get the chance. You can even do some good things for your family and when they want to thank you, you tell them no its your wife that did it, they should thank her (that will show your wife that you are not allowing your family to ride over her anyhow)

That was for your parents.

As for siblings, if they do anyhow show them anyhow. With them your can be harsh to a certain degree (not the level that will make them call your parents and they will start sparking for you)

As for the wife you have to be the loving husband, always try to come up with new stuff that your wife will find fun and exciting to help her forget the way your family is treating her even if it is for a little while. You can help with some simple house choirs, spare her the wahala of cooking by occasionally taking her out to eat (by the way inform her, its not that afta she cook finish you go come tell her say lets go and eat elsewhere).

Finally you said she is making plans to run away with the child to her parents​, YOU HAVE TO MAKE HER REALISE THAT HE IS AS MUCH YOUR CHILD AS HE IS HERS (not by verbally telling her oh), play with the child, be a loving doting father, help her when you see her tired of taking care of the child, when you're free keep the child around you develop a real strong bond with the child, and God willing even if your family is brewing a storm outside at least you and your wife can be safe from their troubles in your home.

NO FORGET GUY, PATIENCE!!!

And try and console her whenever your family pulls their stunts on her, at least she will know that you realise the injustice in her situation.

If you can afford you can all go on holiday to whatever country her mother is based in.

deleSayo:
Since I married my wife, we noticed signs subtle signs that my family dont like her.

From day one of introducing her to the family, my elder brother's wife treated her with so much disrespect and everyone else followed suit. We ignored this and proceeded to marry.

For trad wedding, I gave money to my parents to help purchase the items for her bride price but on the day,  I was pained to see that the items were significantly incomplete (my wife noticed this too and kept it in her heart). She later told me that she saw my parents looking bored at the church wedding;as if they couldnt wait to leave. I was surprised because I saw that too but thought my wife hadn't noticed.

When we fell pregnant, they failed to acknowledge my wife's pregnancy throughout until the birth of the baby. Furthermore, my mother failed to show up for omugwo, leaving us alone to care for the newborn child.

All these things have built up resentment in my wife. She takes out the frustration on me. Things are so bad that my wife has completely isolated herself from all members of my family. She refuses to communicate with them or attend any functions.

Recently, I got wind that she is making secret plans to abscond with our baby and go live with her mother who is based abroad. Please I dont want to lose my wife. She's the best thing that ever happened to me but I can see clearly that she now despises both me and my family.

The marriage is in shambles. She believes that I failed to defend and protect her. not that I didnt feel the pain. Its just that I didnt know how to handle the situation. Please how can I resolve this?
 

2 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by GeneralOjukwu: 12:23pm On Apr 26, 2017
JamesReacher:
You sef reasoned it abi. Very good

No I didn't. And even the MOD didn't really see any sense in your comment....

So he decided to help you tongue
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by chiraqDemon(m): 12:27pm On Apr 26, 2017
But really why do ppl hate their son's or brother's wives.
I noticed this same thing when my uncles were getting married, i was shocked that even my mom did not like any of them, like really.
The excuse was that they are from one tribe or d other.
After d marriage the excuse was that the wives always made my uncles to forget them but i know better. I mean surely if a man gets married his mom is no longer hsi priority but rather his wife and his children.

I just wish when im about to get married that my mom wont be this way cos i cant

3 Likes

Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by ican2020: 12:29pm On Apr 26, 2017
Give your family yellow card, love and protect your wife
Re: My Family Treats Her Bad And Now My Wife Wants To Leave Me by ChristyB(f): 12:34pm On Apr 26, 2017
To start with, "WHo gave your brother's wife the audacity to treat your wife that way"? Did you immediately address that or you're a mummy's boy?

Your brother's wife has no right as she's also being married into your family to make life uncomfrtable for your wife.

Here are my questions

1. Was it your elder brother that trained you? as in you lived with him till you were about taking a wife?
2. Do you live in a family compound?
3. Does your mother control your father? Na she be the man?
4. Are you broke and dependent on your family?

Once you are married omoh your wife becomes you automatically, i think you have really not been her body guard all these while cos it can be so draining knowing you're fighting alone without support.

You need to let your family know she's your wife and demand full respect and regards for her as well. na your hand e dey my dear.
Or better still abeg allow person pikin to go meet her mama for yankee where she'll be free and live her life just like she's always wanted.

No be because of marriage you wan come dey dull the girl, she didn't plan for this.

I wish you all the best in making your home/marriage work. It's not an easy task.

2 Likes

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