Hello fellow Nairalanders,

I discovered yesterday that my newly married wife is having one phone that she kept to herself but unknowingly to her,I got the phone and discovered that she strored some guys numbers on it.

I tried calling the ist number nd realised that its a guys voice so I latter send a message as if am the guy friend.

Little did i know,my wife called me at arround 5 minutes later telling me that i was arrasing somebody.


Please,what do I do?I think i rather call it a quit before i mess up myself in the latter future all in the name of marriage.The wedding has not even lasted for 3 months.


Please,help me out dear Nairalandersss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Babyboy26:


Please,what do I do?[b]I think i rather call it a qui[/b]t before i mess up myself in the latter future all in the name of marriage.The wedding has not even lasted for 3 months.

Patience

What have you just written? I can't even understand the story.

michelin89,

what am saying is that she has one phone with different line which i never new.She stored some numbers on it but fortunately for me,i saw the phone and she was not aware of it at all.

Babyboy26:

michelin89,

what am saying is that she has one phone with different line which i never new.She stored some numbers on it but fortunately for me,i saw the phone and she was not aware of it at all.

That is not enough to accuse her of infidelity!

Have you got any tangible evidence?

That is totally infidelity why did she hide the phone with male contacts from you.nawa o

Emzybrown,

I think u get my point.

The question is that why did she hide the phone and the sim from me with male contacts?


Please,something has to be done very fast as am just loosing my patience.

I repeat,this marriage is just ONE MONTH and 29 DAYS.What do i do my fellow NAIRALANDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just shut up that will be good enough for now.

kidsam,

U said i should shup up?

Will this solve the issue at hand?

^{All these husbands that keeps inspecting their wife's privacy like she's been a suspect.}


Poster, know her reason for having an extra phone before jumping into conclusion.

Ben-10,

I said i got this phone widaout her knowledge.The phone was switched off when i saw it and i put it on to realise that some numbers,JUST TWO NUMBERS ARE STORED ON IT.
They are guys, even at times i realised that she do received calls from this very number but i was just trying to see ao i culd get the number untill i now got the number on a separate phone that i dnt even know that she has.


Please,lets be realistic,what do i do?


SHOULD I CALL IT A QUIT BEFORE I GET MYSELF HURT IN THE NEAR FUTURE?

@OP don't panic. First do some investigation. Look at where and how she hides the phone. Bring up a discussion about getting another phone and say something like "sweetie, I wanna get a second phone. I dont know too many people that have 2 phones, do you think its  weird?"

The point is to casually bring up having 2 phones in a way so that you will see if she turns to tell u that she herself has one. Also since u know where she hides it why not keep going to check the phone history, and text messages.

Don't just confront her yet, until you are certain that she is doing something.
I hate to add though, be prepared to find out the worst, but hope for the best.


Oop! Appears that ur in Naija, everyone got 2 or more phones there. Thought u were overseas lol. Anyways, just bring up getting another phone and see what she says.

But she already has two phones.

^^not her.  Bring up a topic about YOU getting a second phone. See how she reacts and if she uses the opp to tell u she also has 2 phones. ya, know, just go snoop about the phone. Your answers are there. No need to waste time sef.

i know that she has two phone cos i bought them for her and she know that i have 2 phones too.


The phone am talking about will now be her third phone.


Even,she just called me now explaining that one MAN called her concerning the issue that somebody called him to find out if she know her.


Even,she spent up to 10 minutes explaining the issue to me.


Please,this is a gross INFIDELITY on her part.Even,her reactions at times with me is suspicious.At times when we are together she will never demand for sex if i pretended as if i was sleeping.I have being having this feeling that may she is seeing someone else cos i wonder why she will not be demanding for it as husband and wife.

To me,I dont think i need her sex anymore cos i hate infidelity.

Please advice me very seriously on what to do.

@ Poster,you need to relax and calm down.If this is a true story,why make a big fuss over it.Just call her and ask her if she is having affairs.If she denies,tell her with all manly authority to bring out the fone in question and call the numbers on it to your face.demand to speak with the men if she has no hidden agenda,that way you will find out what exactly is going on. she might not even be cheating on you afterall.

Babyboy2006, you're taking the issue to high o jare

She is still your wife. . .can't you hold a conversation?

na wa oh

all these men that are saying that you are over reacting are funny. am sure if they were in your shoes, they would have summoned a family meeting and shown her the way out.

how can a three months old bride have another phone number (without the knowledge of her husband) and then makes sneaky calls to other men

any lady that tries such stunt with a mere 'boyfriend' will have lots of explaining to do how much more pulling such with a 'husband'

and to think she had the guts to tell you that a man called her and told her you were harrassing him on the phone

obviously, you two have some serious issues at hand.

have you been f*cking her regularly since you two got married cos if you have been playing your part well (good loving, sex, spending time together), what time/strength will she have to be communicating with other men

call her and have a serious heart-to-heart talk with her to know who they men are . what she has done is totally unacceptable.

Thanks funkybaby,

But the issue now is that i did not tell that i got the guys number on her third phone cos she knew that i had no knowledge of her third phone at all.


And if i ask her to bring the phone, she might delete the number on it.

The best i can do is to ask her for the fone whenever we are together at where the phone is kept.Presently,she is not with me here in lagos as she is working on her transfer to lagos.


To be realistic,my mind tells me that she is cheating and i have made a promise that instead of cheating on her,i will seek for separation cos i dnt wanna have two wifes.  OR I GO ON DATING HER CLOSEST FRIENDS OR COUSINS.


Please advice.

Please,what is the general opinion of NAIRALANDERS ON THIS ISSUE?

@poster
To be frank, there is absolutely nothing wrong in ur wife havin male contacts on her fone but the flaw in it is d fact that she kept d fone away from you but i got to say this, its not enough evidence of infidelity cos you have not found anything incrimiating on d fone. And i just cant help thinking your wife actually did this cos your the jealous type that cant stand seeing her with male friends. correct me if am wrong

why don't you just sit her down and tell her what you discover and ask her why she is hidding it from you and ask about the names you found on the phone as well before you just into conclusion at you guys are newly wed its too soon to be cheating alrdy but seriously i am sure you believe dat you knw dis woman dats why you married her so go on and talk to her about it and then take it from there b4 you give yourself heart attack

@ poster u just have 2 take things easy,try having a conversation with her,u can never tell why she has that fon,its always best to hear 4rm the horse's mouth,if she's lyin u'll know,don't rush things.

@poster
bloody hell, be a man and confront her straight up. she is your wife, cant you even talk to her!!!!!!!
the minute you found that phone, you should have brought it to the table and ask her in a friendly manner(like married people do):
- whose phone is it?
- what is it for?
- who are these guys that are saved on it?
- why is it hidden?

thereafter you could have also asked:
- why is this guy calling HER to say that someone is harrassing him?
- why does she care about the issue?

also it is safe to say that if you cant even communicate with your new wife then there is a more serious problem in your marriage.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
bloody hell, be a man and confront her straight up. she is your wife, cant you even talk to her!!!!!!!
the minute you found that phone, you should have brought it to the table and ask her in a friendly manner(like married people do):
- whose phone is it?
- what is it for?
- who are these guys that are saved on it?
- why is it hidden?

thereafter you could have also asked:
- why is this guy calling HER to say that someone is harrassing him?
- why does she care about the issue?

also it is safe to say that if you cant even communicate with your new wife then there is a more serious problem in your marriage.

Spot on. Babyboy26, please sit your wife down and ask her all the questions above ASAP. That is definitely the way forward.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
bloody hell, be a man and confront her straight up. she is your wife, cant you even talk to her!!!!!!!
the minute you found that phone, you should have brought it to the table and ask her in a friendly manner(like married people do):
- whose phone is it?
- what is it for?
- who are these guys that are saved on it?
- why is it hidden?

thereafter you could have also asked:
- why is this guy calling HER to say that someone is harrassing him?
- why does she care about the issue?

also it is safe to say that if you cant even communicate with your new wife then there is a more serious problem in your marriage.

This would have been the first reaction of a matured husband that is not afraid of his wife. Instead of keeping the phone and coming to wash your dirty matrimonial linen in nairaland. Apologies for the tone of words but I simply can't put it in any milder way.

lonelypal;if i see my wife with a male friends i dnt react like such but she have to know how they are related.

Posted by: MRbrownJAY
Insert Quote
@poster
bloody hell, be a man and confront her straight up. she is your wife, cant you even talk to her!!!!!!!
the minute you found that phone, you should have brought it to the table and ask her in a friendly manner(like married people do):
- whose phone is it?
- what is it for?
- who are these guys that are saved on it?
- why is it hidden?

thereafter you could have also asked:
- why is this guy calling HER to say that someone is harrassing him?
- why does she care about the issue?

also it is safe to say that if you cant even communicate with your new wife then there is a more serious problem in your marriage

hi MRbrownJAY,

I really appreciate your kind gesture concerning this issue.

The day i saw the phone,was the day after our wedding when we were trying to move our things to our new place.So i wanted to know whose numbers that were stored on it b4 i reacted.

Like u have said,when she come over to my place,I will definitely ask her those questions u mentioned cos for now we re not together as she is working in another state but still processing her transfer to where i am.

What if is true,wht do u think will happen?

Let me first of all say,as a woman and newly wedded ,she doesnot have a ny right to keep any thing that could cause complication from you.Now even if she is not guilty,with what you have discovered she has already made herself one.
What do isay to this:
Please be patience i know what you are feeling even though i am not married but i know hw and the extent i explain myself whnever my guy dscovers a male friend calls me just to avoid trouble.It will take patience to solve this issue cos if u r not patience she will outsmart you and at theend u will blame urself.

funkybaby:

na wa oh

all these men that are saying that you are over reacting are funny. am sure if they were in your shoes, they would have summoned a family meeting and shown her the way out.

how can a three months old bride have another phone number (without the knowledge of her husband) and then makes sneaky calls to other men

any lady that tries such stunt with a mere 'boyfriend' will have lots of explaining to do how much more pulling such with a 'husband'

and to think she had the guts to tell you that a man called her and told her you were harrassing him on the phone

obviously, you two have some serious issues at hand.

have you been bleeping her regularly since you two got married cos if you have been playing your part well (good loving, sex, spending time together), what time/strength will she have to be communicating with other men

call her and have a serious heart-to-heart talk with her to know who they men are . what she has done is totally unacceptable.

I love this poster for her comment.

Please whn next she comes home,evenif she comes with the phone or not cos i dont know where she keeps the fone or you pay her a visit if the phone is with her just for you to have access to that phone at that particular time u want to talk to her.Whenever you are together and the phone is within ur vicinity,just be soft with her ,bring out the phone and demand for explaination immediately.Tell her to call those numbers in ur present and from there you wills ee her reation to know if she is cheating or not.
If she wants to turn it to fight,just know that there is somethg fishingand if she can explain her ,u own her alot.Bu tit is better you satisfy ur curiosity.
I can bet it that if she is having extramarital affair ,she didnt just start now but be4 u pple got married.
Pls dont mind all these guys that are trying to yab you ,they will even do worse than you.Your own is even better,some of them wuld have gone to friends or family that will poison their minds badly.By even bringn it here,you are taking your time to be patience.
I wish you all the best

nikkykay;thanks a lot.

The issue now is that she will be coming to Lagos this weekend and i dnt want to ask her to come with the fone cos she is not aware where i got the number from.


From what she told me yesterday on the fone after the person had called her,she said the person is one of her customers when she was in Ecobank (as a contract marketer).But,the name she told me that the person bears is different from the name she stored the number with on the fone.

As it is now,should i just keep silence when she come by the weekend since she is not going to come with the fone which i believe is my evidence.

People,what do i do now?

ASK her about the phone to know your next line of action,don't you think it maybe another persons phone

I quite believe that the phone belongs to her.If i should ask her about the fone now,it will not work cos wht if i dnt see the fone again?

What you need to do is pretend as if you are not aware of the existence of the phone. Just play the fool and monitor her very, very closely. If she is being unfaithful, she will eventually play into your hands.