akin101:

i think most females on this thread are deliberately misinterpreting tai's philosophy.
they take offense at the word controlling a woman!!! [b]I think it should have been to control lead and maintain a relationship with a woman,[/b]maybe tai's words are not politically correct but i do believe tai's words do make sense and do apply to a mans actions inactions reactions and initiatives in a relationship.

i believe women want to have their say and be treated fairly in a relationship, there is no intelligent woman who would want to marry a man below her in intelligence, she must have something she looks up to in a man, something that attracts her to that man, in a sense she still looks for some form of leadership or domination,

the thrills the highs the freedom and sweetness of being led by a strong man regardless of how much a woman is liberated is part of our instincts as a specie.

Its an instinct expressed crudely by most of our cultures but when a woman finds a man who will dominate her, lead her and take her to the place in her heart she has never let anyone enter, it can be a very heady feeling.

Thank you Akin101, I believe you have the right title there and the right idea as well: "How to Maintain and Control Your Relationship with a Woman". If I could change the title I would, but that should be the right title anyway, you get my point completely.

Hey tai2 what's up. I sent you an email, kindly check and get back to me. My name is IK. Cheers.

@ Tai2: brov, I ve been living it up, My valentine day stunt has really borne fruit, Neva will this bro b taken for granted by any woman,
So pissed that most ppl b bickering over this issue,

wat u said is almost true but there is a problem while being the true control guy who tells his chick i love you only thrice in a year you may just lose her to a sensitive guy.if you are truly in control you can express yourself without looking like,being treated like an idiot u will b appreciated 100% so modify that.Another thing you should modify is why cheat to be in your senses?when you achieve ultimate control you dont need to keep concubines before your woman respects you.Apart from that i think the rest is tight

@TAI, just stumbled on ur thread n though 3months late, i just have to drop a few lines, well u made sense most of the way, but I would have been much happier if you brought ur philosophy home, as in how u r presently controlling ur own woman now, dat would assure me it has worked for u, the proponet, u may just have lifeted all dis from a  book u know? weda it has worked for u or not, i agree wit most of ur tenets though sum r outslandish, i am taking wat applies to me though,
But den, going thru ur post i still dont know wat sort of control guy i am, i see many atributes, failings from all 3types u hav articulated.am i a crossbreed?
my present gurl, av been going out wit her pushing on 5years now, i am her, longest relationship though atimes we break off for like 2 or three weeks before coming bak again, since she met me, she hasnt taken on a new boyfriend though i know she sumhow still runs things with the man in her life before me. I also feel she may have ssshaged two or three other blokes since we started going out- and she gets propositioned by d day, she is hott,pretty sexy, curvy, boobs, arrrse and all, so its always an issue fending off men, at d club men wont giv me space,, even gurls, lesbians kip hitting on her, i no know wetin dem see for her body.

So, i asked myself after reading ur thread am i a no control guy, articial control or true control guy wen it comes to my woman? she is very refractive, very difficult to control, infact her mother defers to her, because once you try to exert a hold on her, she slinks off, if the mother decides today to strt exerting overdue influence on her, i know dat gurl-she would pack her things quietly and leave her house, and she will have dozens of options where to stay, men kip begging her by d day to come into dia houses, to marry her. her mother is a widow so she didnt exert any hold on my gurl at dos crucial times in a gul\s life- at around 12-16, so now at 23, her mother cannot tell her what to do. she doesnt disrespect her mother or anything like dat though, but the woman cleverly avoids confrontation when it comes to issues they think differently. like why shd my gurl sleep outside her house or go partying without her say so. My girl is at loggerheads with most of her uncles because she feels they try to tell her what to do. as a consequence, she doesnt cal, them, doesnt ask them for anything, behaves as if they do not even exist, to her, it is better for her to go hungry than have any uncle trying to tell her what to do, dats the kind of woman i am saddled with.
controlling dis sort of woman is damn difficult, she is sexy, so men r always begging to do her favors, give her money, marry her, so long as she f***ks them. A woman like dat knows hse has plenty of options too if she decides to be promiscous. so a guy trying to control her is up to his head in work. i profess plenty of love to her, show her care, at times even go out my way to please her, so dat shd make me a no control guy abi? but, den such guys shd be d wimps not so? am no wimp. i still stamp my feet on the ground wen i feel its necessary. wen she tells me she loves me, i ask myself, does she want anything from me? when she behaves over lovingly, d red bells go up, is she setting me up as a sitting duck, she's pretty, i may love her, but i take verything she says with a pinch of salt, no control guys r not supposed to do dat, do they? plus after five years, she still hasnt left me, yes, we've had our own fair share of fights n disagreements, she has walked off with a guy right infront of me be4, av seen her in d club with d other man who was (or prbably still is, in her life), but by and large, i account for atleast 70% of her time. d remainder she shares with her friends, family, and the other men in her life. And its not as if she is waiting for a better man i always wonder. she has dozens of options. She gets propositioned countlesssly by men, many of them over the last 5years- richer, more well to do (maybe less swagger or ayajj) but definitely wit more to offer, atleast in d short term (dats wat many women look at anyway) , many of dem from her tribe(she\s Ibo) but sum how one way, we have stuck, sumhow, i feel she may have even been tempted or tried to date one or two, but it may have come unstuck, ders nobody she is seeing consistently, I shd know because i stay in the same house with her in Lagos (we dont live togther, but their flat and mine r in the same compond). Now, av temporarily relocated to a Abuja she has also relocated to meet me after 3months. So, i always wonder why she has seen many men, but she doesnt go off with any of them, when i know atleast 3 who have tried to buy off the mother with money but she hasnt caved in, yet it doesnt seem as if she sends me dat much.
And dont think am an articifial control guy either cos, am not rich, just a struggling bloke, today i have money, next tomorrow I dont, i  have always been my own employer since i left school few years ago, so i dont have a big office to show off, neither a big flat or sumthing, i stay in a simple mini flat, though i can still afford my dstv subscription anytime i have money. Wen we started i had nuthing, no car, no money, i was squating with a friend but she still liked me even then.infact i feel she liked me more then when i had no car and could not even afford to give her d 5k or 10k for hair as i do now. And dont think she doesnt like good things- she does, being fair, she is the bling bling sort of gurl who likes gold, flashy clothes and champagne. She is flashy, very flashy, but without totally managing to giv her all dis, i have still managed to kip her from thinking i dont giv her nuthin.
So I dont think am an artificial control guy either.
She always went out with me almost all the time, afternoon, evening, night etc her faimly and even friends started complaing they didnt see her enuff. i didnt always like her friends hanging out with us cos of money, without them, it was lesser bills to be paid, so i kept all of dem at bay. she always had diz rich men after her, u know how loud Ibo men can be naa? we'l walk into the club to meet a guy who was toasting her promising her heaven on earth in the same club. we'l look at dia table full of 40k champagne bottles and chops, but on my own, i'l buy her her smirnoff nad nurse my own one bottle of beer till we left.it never pushed her to leave me till now atleast, and she\s still here.
Her birthday is 2moro and i have to take her and two or three friends partying at one of the clubs around. she knows and i also know dat at d kind of places i like and she also likes, we cant drink beer there, so i told her we'l buy a bottle of champagne outside and take it along, dat was our style in Lagos, we'l go to obalende around 1am, buy a bottle of Hennesey for 4k, she'l put it in all diz dem big handbags and we'l take it inside d club cos inside, a bottle of hennessey was 25k.even if i have 25k, ders no way i'l use money like dat for champagne, atleast for now. wen i told her we'l do d same thing ere, she merely shook her head and said, ah, ah, so i have not stopped dis my lagos life, guy must put up appeararnces naa, except i take her to one road side beer parlor.
Am I True Control Man then? I dont think so. am not supposed to tel her I love her abi? I do telll her, perhaps more times than she even tells me. I call her more often than she calls me. But then because we always lived togther since day 1, calling her was never really an option. She was always in my place in the morning and by evening we always went out together. Ours is a mix massh really. I moved her from Lagos to Abuja, n wen she came, it was her money i was spending, she was d one buying me beer, buying food to cook for d house, and all cos i was damn broke. She never really complained much though.
On d 15th day here, we were at home, den she left around 8.30pm. wen i called her around 9pm,she said she was around,she went to buy sumthin-wen she has a houseboy to send. i suspected she had gone to see one of her toasters. i waited till 10pm wen she came back. i simply threw her things out, and refused all entreaties dat she atleast pass the night. Dat may have seemed hardline abi? but a woman a man has under his control cannot leave his house for one and a half hours at night for wateva reason, can she? dat was a month ago. i have since gone to beg her and say sorry, she initially said it was over between us, i threw her out into the night in a town she knew nobody. she has since relented, weve hung out a couple of times and shes now staying wit her aunt, but she has still refused to pack her things and come back. i guess der, she eats free food, doesnt pick any bills and is comfortable. my place wasnt that bad, a big house, with dstv and a houseboy she could boss around, though the house is my friends and we share bills. and its not about Koboko control really, i guess some guys have ssshagged her better dan I have or ever could, but dey r nowhere around her today.
So, i fill am not totally in control, i dont  have her on a leash as I would have expected so i'm now wondering if am d no control guy at all sef.
I think why dis gurl hasnt left me since may have to do with psychology.Fine, she has ner own indisetions, has all d chances to be promiscuous and kip jumping from man to man, but so far, she hasnt done dat. where i have a hold on her is d mind, i think av bin able to create a feel good factor around her wen we r togther. i tell her wat she wants to hear, i increase her sense of self worth and make her feel good about herself. Her sense of vanity is inflamed, so i shore dat up n give her assurances, she frets endlessly about her future and i always give her positives to look forward to. I feel dis is wat has kept her to me since cos i know its not about money, koboko, or assets. I think its d mind, dats d basic difference between me n all d other men in her life.
You r d man who knows it all, so wat type of control man am i? I wish I could say i was the true control man but am not, wish i were the articificial control man, but i lack d capacity, but, will a no control man kip a smouldering, sexually active and very much in demand woman wit him for 5years? So where do i stand wit d control thingy, my man?

Half of you fools cant control yourself or your children, HOW ARE ABLE TO CONTROL YOU WOMAN? You got a slave or something? Why the fugg would you control someone you married? Unless she is a indentured servant, THEN AGAIN
WHO KNOWS, SOME OF YOU MEN SO FICKLE IN THE MIND YOU MIGHT TRY TO CONTROL YOUR MOTHER!

SPITS!

.

MADLADY, ARE you male or female, JUST TO BE ON SAFE SIDE?

^^You crack me up,.

    You have power I love that.

The reason I asked because often times men will have F NEXT TO THEIR NAMES AND WOMEN WILL HAVE M NEXT TO THEIR NAMES, and if you are a female, I SURE WOULDN'T MIND LIVING WITH YOU, need a room mate if I am planning
on staying in London for six months, I heard it expensive there!

My fiance family lives in London, BUT I DON'T WANT TO STAY WITH MARRIED PEOPLE, they live completely different from single people, ooooh!

Now the challenge for me would be GETTING MY FIANCE TO AGREE WITH ME STAYING IN LONDON FOR SIX MONTHS WHILE HE IS AT HOME ALONE,


Oooooh lawd I can feel the dogs coming, BRING IT FELLOWS!

.

apache77:



@TAI, just stumbled on your thread n though 3months late, i just have to drop a few lines, well u made sense most of the way, but I would have been much happier if you brought your philosophy home, as in how u r presently controlling your own woman now, dat would assure me it has worked for u, the proponet, u may just have lifeted all dis from a book u know? weda it has worked for u or not, i agree wit most of your tenets though sum r outslandish, i am taking wat applies to me though,
But den, going thru your post i still dont know wat sort of control guy i am, i see many atributes, failings from all 3types u hav articulated.am i a crossbreed?
my present gurl, av been going out wit her pushing on 5years now, i am her, longest relationship though atimes we break off for like 2 or three weeks before coming bak again, since she met me, she hasnt taken on a new boyfriend though i know she sumhow still runs things with the man in her life before me. I also feel she may have ssshaged two or three other blokes since we started going out- and she gets propositioned by d day, she is hott,pretty sexy, curvy, bosoms, arrrse and all, so its always an issue fending off men, at d club men wont giv me space,, even gurls, lesbians kip hitting on her, i no know wetin dem see for her body.

So, i asked myself after reading your thread am i a no control guy, articial control or true control guy wen it comes to my woman? she is very refractive, very difficult to control, infact her mother defers to her, because once you try to exert a hold on her, she slinks off, if the mother decides today to strt exerting overdue influence on her, i know dat gurl-she would pack her things quietly and leave her house, and she will have dozens of options where to stay, men kip begging her by d day to come into dia houses, to marry her. her mother is a widow so she didnt exert any hold on my gurl at dos crucial times in a gul\s life- at around 12-16, so now at 23, her mother cannot tell her what to do. she doesnt disrespect her mother or anything like dat though, but the woman cleverly avoids confrontation when it comes to issues they think differently. like why shd my gurl sleep outside her house or go partying without her say so. My girl is at loggerheads with most of her uncles because she feels they try to tell her what to do. as a consequence, she doesnt cal, them, doesnt ask them for anything, behaves as if they do not even exist, to her, it is better for her to go hungry than have any uncle trying to tell her what to do, dats the kind of woman i am saddled with.
controlling dis sort of woman is damn difficult, she is sexy, so men r always begging to do her favors, give her money, marry her, so long as she f***ks them. A woman like dat knows hse has plenty of options too if she decides to be promiscous. so a guy trying to control her is up to his head in work. i profess plenty of love to her, show her care, at times even go out my way to please her, so dat shd make me a no control guy abi? but, den such guys shd be d wimps not so? am no wimp. i still stamp my feet on the ground wen i feel its necessary. wen she tells me she loves me, i ask myself, does she want anything from me? when she behaves over lovingly, d red bells go up, is she setting me up as a sitting duck, she's pretty, i may love her, but i take verything she says with a pinch of salt, no control guys r not supposed to do dat, do they? plus after five years, she still hasnt left me, yes, we've had our own fair share of fights n disagreements, she has walked off with a guy right infront of me be4, av seen her in d club with d other man who was (or prbably still is, in her life), but by and large, i account for atleast 70% of her time. d remainder she shares with her friends, family, and the other men in her life. And its not as if she is waiting for a better man i always wonder. she has dozens of options. She gets propositioned countlesssly by men, many of them over the last 5years- richer, more well to do (maybe less swagger or ayajj) but definitely wit more to offer, atleast in d short term (dats wat many women look at anyway) , many of dem from her tribe(she\s Ibo) but sum how one way, we have stuck, sumhow, i feel she may have even been tempted or tried to date one or two, but it may have come unstuck, ders nobody she is seeing consistently, I shd know because i stay in the same house with her in Lagos (we dont live togther, but their flat and mine r in the same compond). Now, av temporarily relocated to a Abuja she has also relocated to meet me after 3months. So, i always wonder why she has seen many men, but she doesnt go off with any of them, when i know atleast 3 who have tried to buy off the mother with money but she hasnt caved in, yet it doesnt seem as if she sends me dat much.
And dont think am an articifial control guy either cos, am not rich, just a struggling bloke, today i have money, next tomorrow I dont, i have always been my own employer since i left school few years ago, so i dont have a big office to show off, neither a big flat or sumthing, i stay in a simple mini flat, though i can still afford my dstv subscription anytime i have money. Wen we started i had nuthing, no car, no money, i was squating with a friend but she still liked me even then.infact i feel she liked me more then when i had no car and could not even afford to give her d 5k or 10k for hair as i do now. And dont think she doesnt like good things- she does, being fair, she is the bling bling sort of gurl who likes gold, flashy clothes and champagne. She is flashy, very flashy, but without totally managing to giv her all dis, i have still managed to kip her from thinking i dont giv her nuthin.
So I dont think am an artificial control guy either.
She always went out with me almost all the time, afternoon, evening, night etc her faimly and even friends started complaing they didnt see her enuff. i didnt always like her friends hanging out with us cos of money, without them, it was lesser bills to be paid, so i kept all of dem at bay. she always had diz rich men after her, u know how loud Ibo men can be naa? we'l walk into the club to meet a guy who was toasting her promising her heaven on earth in the same club. we'l look at dia table full of 40k champagne bottles and chops, but on my own, i'l buy her her smirnoff nad nurse my own one bottle of beer till we left.it never pushed her to leave me till now atleast, and she\s still here.
Her birthday is 2moro and i have to take her and two or three friends partying at one of the clubs around. she knows and i also know dat at d kind of places i like and she also likes, we cant drink beer there, so i told her we'l buy a bottle of champagne outside and take it along, dat was our style in Lagos, we'l go to obalende around 1am, buy a bottle of Hennesey for 4k, she'l put it in all diz dem big handbags and we'l take it inside d club cos inside, a bottle of hennessey was 25k.even if i have 25k, ders no way i'l use money like dat for champagne, atleast for now. wen i told her we'l do d same thing ere, she merely shook her head and said, ah, ah, so i have not stopped dis my lagos life, guy must put up appeararnces naa, except i take her to one road side beer parlor.
Am I True Control Man then? I dont think so. am not supposed to tel her I love her abi? I do telll her, perhaps more times than she even tells me. I call her more often than she calls me. But then because we always lived togther since day 1, calling her was never really an option. She was always in my place in the morning and by evening we always went out together. Ours is a mix massh really. I moved her from Lagos to Abuja, n wen she came, it was her money i was spending, she was d one buying me beer, buying food to cook for d house, and all cos i was damn broke. She never really complained much though.
On d 15th day here, we were at home, den she left around 8.30pm. wen i called her around 9pm,she said she was around,she went to buy sumthin-wen she has a houseboy to send. i suspected she had gone to see one of her toasters. i waited till 10pm wen she came back. i simply threw her things out, and refused all entreaties dat she atleast pass the night. Dat may have seemed hardline abi? but a woman a man has under his control cannot leave his house for one and a half hours at night for wateva reason, can she? dat was a month ago. i have since gone to beg her and say sorry, she initially said it was over between us, i threw her out into the night in a town she knew nobody. she has since relented, weve hung out a couple of times and shes now staying wit her aunt, but she has still refused to pack her things and come back. i guess der, she eats free food, doesnt pick any bills and is comfortable. my place wasnt that bad, a big house, with dstv and a houseboy she could boss around, though the house is my friends and we share bills. and its not about Koboko control really, i guess some guys have ssshagged her better dan I have or ever could, but dey r nowhere around her today.
So, i fill am not totally in control, i dont have her on a leash as I would have expected so i'm now wondering if am d no control guy at all sef.
I think why dis gurl hasnt left me since may have to do with psychology.Fine, she has ner own indisetions, has all d chances to be promiscuous and kip jumping from man to man, but so far, she hasnt done dat. where i have a hold on her is d mind, i think av bin able to create a feel good factor around her wen we r togther. i tell her wat she wants to hear, i increase her sense of self worth and make her feel good about herself. Her sense of vanity is inflamed, so i shore dat up n give her assurances, she frets endlessly about her future and i always give her positives to look forward to. I feel dis is wat has kept her to me since cos i know its not about money, koboko, or assets. I think its d mind, dats d basic difference between me n all d other men in her life.
You r d man who knows it all, so wat type of control man am i? I wish I could say i was the true control man but am not, wish i were the articificial control man, but i lack d capacity, but, will a no control man kip a smouldering, sexually active and very much in demand woman wit him for 5years? So where do i stand wit d control thingy, my man?

from the lenght of your post- u ar obviously a "No Control" man, she is more in control of the relationship dan u ar- U care more she cares less, but ur glimmer of hope is dat she obviously fancies sumtin abt/in you.

^^^^^^^^^. My thoughts exactly. The fellow is in serious "no control territory" but she likes him for something obviously. The day she leaves, he'll probably lose it.

Good article. I beleive control is a mechanism for a man to create order in the relationship. Women are atractted to order. Men need to figure out what they want from the relationship and use emotional control to create the order and achieve his expectations. Thing is men do not know what they want half the time. Men are also physical animals(sx) women know this and use sx to control a man. However, men control commitment in exchange for the sx. We have the emotional control.

apache77:



@TAI, just stumbled on your thread n though 3months late, i just have to drop a few lines, well u made sense most of the way, but I would have been much happier if you brought your philosophy home, as in how u r presently controlling your own woman now, dat would assure me it has worked for u, the proponet, u may just have lifeted all dis from a  book u know? weda it has worked for u or not, i agree wit most of your tenets though sum r outslandish, i am taking wat applies to me though,
But den, going thru your post i still dont know wat sort of control guy i am, i see many atributes, failings from all 3types u hav articulated.am i a crossbreed?
my present gurl, av been going out wit her pushing on 5years now, i am her, longest relationship though atimes we break off for like 2 or three weeks before coming bak again, since she met me, she hasnt taken on a new boyfriend though i know she sumhow still runs things with the man in her life before me. I also feel she may have ssshaged two or three other blokes since we started going out- and she gets propositioned by d day, she is hott,pretty sexy, curvy, bosoms, arrrse and all, so its always an issue fending off men, at d club men wont giv me space,, even gurls, lesbians kip hitting on her, i no know wetin dem see for her body.

So, i asked myself after reading your thread am i a no control guy, articial control or true control guy wen it comes to my woman? she is very refractive, very difficult to control, infact her mother defers to her, because once you try to exert a hold on her, she slinks off, if the mother decides today to strt exerting overdue influence on her, i know dat gurl-she would pack her things quietly and leave her house, and she will have dozens of options where to stay, men kip begging her by d day to come into dia houses, to marry her. her mother is a widow so she didnt exert any hold on my gurl at dos crucial times in a gul\s life- at around 12-16, so now at 23, her mother cannot tell her what to do. she doesnt disrespect her mother or anything like dat though, but the woman cleverly avoids confrontation when it comes to issues they think differently. like why shd my gurl sleep outside her house or go partying without her say so. My girl is at loggerheads with most of her uncles because she feels they try to tell her what to do. as a consequence, she doesnt cal, them, doesnt ask them for anything, behaves as if they do not even exist, to her, it is better for her to go hungry than have any uncle trying to tell her what to do, dats the kind of woman i am saddled with.
controlling dis sort of woman is damn difficult, she is sexy, so men r always begging to do her favors, give her money, marry her, so long as she f***ks them. A woman like dat knows hse has plenty of options too if she decides to be promiscous. so a guy trying to control her is up to his head in work. i profess plenty of love to her, show her care, at times even go out my way to please her, so dat shd make me a no control guy abi? but, den such guys shd be d wimps not so? am no wimp. i still stamp my feet on the ground wen i feel its necessary. wen she tells me she loves me, i ask myself, does she want anything from me? when she behaves over lovingly, d red bells go up, is she setting me up as a sitting duck, she's pretty, i may love her, but i take verything she says with a pinch of salt, no control guys r not supposed to do dat, do they? plus after five years, she still hasnt left me, yes, we've had our own fair share of fights n disagreements, she has walked off with a guy right infront of me be4, av seen her in d club with d other man who was (or prbably still is, in her life), but by and large, i account for atleast 70% of her time. d remainder she shares with her friends, family, and the other men in her life. And its not as if she is waiting for a better man i always wonder. she has dozens of options. She gets propositioned countlesssly by men, many of them over the last 5years- richer, more well to do (maybe less swagger or ayajj) but definitely wit more to offer, atleast in d short term (dats wat many women look at anyway) , many of dem from her tribe(she\s Ibo) but sum how one way, we have stuck, sumhow, i feel she may have even been tempted or tried to date one or two, but it may have come unstuck, ders nobody she is seeing consistently, I shd know because i stay in the same house with her in Lagos (we dont live togther, but their flat and mine r in the same compond). Now, av temporarily relocated to a Abuja she has also relocated to meet me after 3months. So, i always wonder why she has seen many men, but she doesnt go off with any of them, when i know atleast 3 who have tried to buy off the mother with money but she hasnt caved in, yet it doesnt seem as if she sends me dat much.
And dont think am an articifial control guy either cos, am not rich, just a struggling bloke, today i have money, next tomorrow I dont, i  have always been my own employer since i left school few years ago, so i dont have a big office to show off, neither a big flat or sumthing, i stay in a simple mini flat, though i can still afford my dstv subscription anytime i have money. Wen we started i had nuthing, no car, no money, i was squating with a friend but she still liked me even then.infact i feel she liked me more then when i had no car and could not even afford to give her d 5k or 10k for hair as i do now. And dont think she doesnt like good things- she does, being fair, she is the bling bling sort of gurl who likes gold, flashy clothes and champagne. She is flashy, very flashy, but without totally managing to giv her all dis, i have still managed to kip her from thinking i dont giv her nuthin.
So I dont think am an artificial control guy either.
She always went out with me almost all the time, afternoon, evening, night etc her faimly and even friends started complaing they didnt see her enuff. i didnt always like her friends hanging out with us cos of money, without them, it was lesser bills to be paid, so i kept all of dem at bay. she always had diz rich men after her, u know how loud Ibo men can be naa? we'l walk into the club to meet a guy who was toasting her promising her heaven on earth in the same club. we'l look at dia table full of 40k champagne bottles and chops, but on my own, i'l buy her her smirnoff nad nurse my own one bottle of beer till we left.it never pushed her to leave me till now atleast, and she\s still here.
Her birthday is 2moro and i have to take her and two or three friends partying at one of the clubs around. she knows and i also know dat at d kind of places i like and she also likes, we cant drink beer there, so i told her we'l buy a bottle of champagne outside and take it along, dat was our style in Lagos, we'l go to obalende around 1am, buy a bottle of Hennesey for 4k, she'l put it in all diz dem big handbags and we'l take it inside d club cos inside, a bottle of hennessey was 25k.even if i have 25k, ders no way i'l use money like dat for champagne, atleast for now. wen i told her we'l do d same thing ere, she merely shook her head and said, ah, ah, so i have not stopped dis my lagos life, guy must put up appeararnces naa, except i take her to one road side beer parlor.
Am I True Control Man then? I dont think so. am not supposed to tel her I love her abi? I do telll her, perhaps more times than she even tells me. I call her more often than she calls me. But then because we always lived togther since day 1, calling her was never really an option. She was always in my place in the morning and by evening we always went out together. Ours is a mix massh really. I moved her from Lagos to Abuja, n wen she came, it was her money i was spending, she was d one buying me beer, buying food to cook for d house, and all cos i was damn broke. She never really complained much though.
On d 15th day here, we were at home, den she left around 8.30pm. wen i called her around 9pm,she said she was around,she went to buy sumthin-wen she has a houseboy to send. i suspected she had gone to see one of her toasters. i waited till 10pm wen she came back. i simply threw her things out, and refused all entreaties dat she atleast pass the night. Dat may have seemed hardline abi? but a woman a man has under his control cannot leave his house for one and a half hours at night for wateva reason, can she? dat was a month ago. i have since gone to beg her and say sorry, she initially said it was over between us, i threw her out into the night in a town she knew nobody. she has since relented, weve hung out a couple of times and shes now staying wit her aunt, but she has still refused to pack her things and come back. i guess der, she eats free food, doesnt pick any bills and is comfortable. my place wasnt that bad, a big house, with dstv and a houseboy she could boss around, though the house is my friends and we share bills. and its not about Koboko control really, i guess some guys have ssshagged her better dan I have or ever could, but dey r nowhere around her today.
So, i fill am not totally in control, i dont  have her on a leash as I would have expected so i'm now wondering if am d no control guy at all sef.
I think why dis gurl hasnt left me since may have to do with psychology.Fine, she has ner own indisetions, has all d chances to be promiscuous and kip jumping from man to man, but so far, she hasnt done dat. where i have a hold on her is d mind, i think av bin able to create a feel good factor around her wen we r togther. i tell her wat she wants to hear, i increase her sense of self worth and make her feel good about herself. Her sense of vanity is inflamed, so i shore dat up n give her assurances, she frets endlessly about her future and i always give her positives to look forward to. I feel dis is wat has kept her to me since cos i know its not about money, koboko, or assets. I think its d mind, dats d basic difference between me n all d other men in her life.
You r d man who knows it all, so wat type of control man am i? I wish I could say i was the true control man but am not, wish i were the articificial control man, but i lack d capacity, but, will a no control man kip a smouldering, sexually active and very much in demand woman wit him for 5years? So where do i stand wit d control thingy, my man?

Guy u are been p**sy whipped,something u call a relationship shouldnt be so much work n headache.haba c ur long post ova ur relationship, lol.pls make up ur mind whether to continue like dis or find someone who will give u some level of peace of mind.

@tai2,
kudos 2u on dis thread but most female posters got d issue of "bin in control" wrong especially platinumnk n ayetty.50/50 aint gonna ever work in a relationship, EVEr!
A woman dat deserve respect must earn it from his man,if not she can jump in d lagoon 4 all i care.

Thank you for this magnificent thread!!!

You bassids can't even control or maintain YOURSELF, let alone a woman! SORRY AZZES!

Guy,diff 4mula 4diff women. Dem no b d same. Try undastnd ur babe. I biliv u sha

@ TAI, its like u had my life biography done in this write up.
Since 18,in my love life, i have always been the other guy, younger than they are(most ladies say i am matured and can hold my own despite my age), been introduced to the main guy and get to help spend the main guys' money.
what keeps them coming back is the way i 'control' the whole situation.
Now the bad part:I am 28(dating the second girl i am older than----i have never dated anyone older than 30years), decided to chill, enjoy this love thing as prescribed and what do I get? what I have been avoiding!.
my 1st lady breathes down my neck; no female phone calls AT ALL!!!(I keep deleting my call log and history, in the process, lose many important contacts), can't stay out late, can't get a second look at a passing girl, get asked where I am and what am doing and who's there with me(many yeye questions that makes me scrutiinise myself and my phone when going home to her).would u encourage me to marry this insecure lady?
I have decided to let it end cos my love don die and i just have to do it the way i know and make sure i weave my way properly into the heart of someone that loves me)

NONSENSE, this guy was bored and didnt have anything to do when he posted this stuff,i can bet $1000 that this dude doesnt even have a girl friend(wife beater)

Pweety4me:

^your always betting. . .lolz

lol, not really,i love meeting people(u intrested?)

virus.exe:

lol, not really,i love meeting people(u intrested?)

I will tell ur gf

Pweety4me:

I will tell your gf

she wont mind, so are u in or are you in??

^None of above

kk,

virus.exe:

NONSENSE, this guy was bored and didnt have anything to do when he posted this stuff,i can bet $1000 that this dude doesnt even have a girl friend(wife beater)

Pweety4me:

I will tell your gf

virus.exe:

she wont mind, so are u in or are you in??

u no even sabi follow the lady talk sef, psheeewww!!!
how then can someone like you tell if a guy has a girlfriend or is a wife beater.
dude, don't hate

I just read through your post and it makes me feel better. . .i have been so much of a nice guy. . .love hurts me so much and i didnt seem to understand why. . .but now i think your post would help me a little. . .but one question. . .

Can u guarantee that this works for all women with the same results?

2) I also have this friend i like a lot and i think am lusting after her, but what do you think i should do. . .she says she's never had feelings for me but she likes me a lot and even calls me darling, honey, love and all that. . .but i feel Hot about her. What do i do She makes jest of me. . .

Yomiwonder:

I just read through your post and it makes me feel better. . .i have been so much of a nice guy. . .love hurts me so much and i didnt seem to understand why. . .but now i think your post would help me a little. . .but one question. . .

Can u guarantee that this works for all women with the same results?

2) I also have this friend i like a lot and i think am lusting after her, but what do you think i should do. . .she says she's never had feelings for me but she likes me a lot and even calls me darling, honey, love and all that. . .but i feel Hot about her. What do i do She makes jest of me. . .

dude u r trying too hard- ignore her, make a pass/date @ sum1 else and let her knw about it- make her feel as if she has lost u and i bet she'll come to you (dats if she likes u @all). women crave attention and wen u give dem too much u ar taken for granted and if u dnt give a sh=t dey wonder y and try to seek ur audience.

dude u r trying too hard- ignore her, make a pass/date @ sum1 else and let her knw about it- make her feel as if she has lost u and i bet she'll come to you (dats if she likes u @all). women crave attention and wen u give dem too much u ar taken for granted and if u dnt give a sh=t dey wonder y and try to seek your audience.

thanx man. . .i will work on having that kind of strength. . .yes i believe you, too much attention and they take one for granted. . .thanx man. i apreci8t that

Troll syndrome?