Benita27:
You're more pathetic if you failed to process the message.

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Windflower:
The only reason she might be at fault is not letting you know that she had a baby ,asides that there is no biggie in her child bearing the fathers name,speaking from experience. I have an elder sis and my dad has been the one taking care of her from day one,even after she did her nce degree,he is still sponsoring her university education, its not like he is rich or has surplus money but he has taken her to be one of his,no one even knows she is not his blood except family and guess what,she is still bearing her fathers name.As God would even have it she is the only sister I have.
The only reason you are concerned is because of the affluent family and I think ure just intimidated by it.
Between,forgetting the name issue do you love this child as your own,do you want to raise him cos if not there will be an issue. You can't marry a single mother without her child too

ikevictor:
i am in a similar situation my brother.

the simple answer is...As long as she did not cheat on you, then you have nothing to worry about.

Secondly, you are a great guy to have allowed the child grow with you as a father figure...the name he bears really should not be your headache. The decision to love is angelic, irrespective of the persons name.

And if the finances are a problem, then you should try hand over some of the financial responsibilities to the child's dad for ease.

Truth is, most children on this planet harbor memories of the fatherly figure they had growing up as their true parental figure, not some dick-happy dude who never cared.

And registering the child in school with the dad's name has nothing to do with your wife having an attachment to the man, but you must know that the child already had a birth certificate before you met the mum and the data on birth documents should not differ from the child's academic documents, else their will be issues for the child potentially.

Another way to solve this is opting for an official name change for the child, but the golden question is "is that necessary?" especially when your own kids are on the way already

My kind advice is, love your wife...make her the woman you want her to be...and enjoy your home. Anything else, will put you through unnecessary and unending headache, especially if you go by the way of sending her away and getting another woman to start a home with...then have the new woman look after your daughter from the woman you sent away...thats when you'll taste purgatory on earth trust me.

Your wife defeated you with superior intelligence after all the baby mama shit, they hang it on rookies like yourself,

Do you know that several sane ladies wont marry you if you carry such baggage? anyways some folks are addicted to tokumbo shaa.

dont be deceived, birth certificate is the only legal document the boy has you can still go back to the same hospital and write another with your name on which all other credentials will be built. ie if your wife is pulling such unintelligent stunt.

finally, keeping another man's son under your roof is a time bomb. especially when you intend to have sons of your own.

The baby mama craze wont end if men like you continue falling for their antics.

jpphilips:



Your wife defeated you with superior intelligence after all the baby mama shit, they hang it on rookies like yourself,

Do you know that several sane ladies wont marry you if you carry such baggage? anyways some folks are addicted to tokumbo shaa.

dont be deceived, birth certificate is the only legal document the boy has you can still go back to the same hospital and write another with your name on which all other credentials will be built. ie if your wife is pulling such unintelligent stunt.

finally, keeping another man's son under your roof is a time bomb. especially when you intend to have sons of your own.

The baby mama craze wont end if men like you continue falling for their antics.

josite:


you must be a very stupid man.first u marry a lady without knowing she has a child and gain you expect her to register the child with her father's name because it is her father that give her belle.

u will learn not to buy market without proper pricing,suegbe.

ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.

ikevictor:


1. I am still trying to understand the point in your message.

2. Thanks for referring to me as a man however

3. I would rather stick to my faithful wife and save the happiness of my innocent family, than abide by the thoughtlessness of an inexperienced and egotistic nairaland boy who might still be living under his mother's roof.

jpphilips:



Your wife defeated you with superior intelligence after all the baby mama shit, they hang it on rookies like yourself,

Do you know that several sane ladies wont marry you if you carry such baggage? anyways some folks are addicted to tokumbo shaa.

dont be deceived, birth certificate is the only legal document the boy has you can still go back to the same hospital and write another with your name on which all other credentials will be built. ie if your wife is pulling such unintelligent stunt.

finally, keeping another man's son under your roof is a time bomb. especially when you intend to have sons of your own.

The baby mama craze wont end if men like you continue falling for their antics.

Ajagunhope:
Is sad that she didn't tell you she already had a child before the wedding....


She can't be trusted.

efighter:


This guy is married to a gold digger who is suffering from megalomania which is worse than narcissism. She is married to you because of what she can get from you. She also wants to be attached to her baby daddy because of what she might get from the baby daddy. When she sees another rich guy, she will start dating him while still married to you because of what she can get from the new rich guy.

Now, tell me, why did you marry someone else' baby mama? Haven't you read severally on social media that no reasonable guy should marry a woman who has a baby for another man? Marry 'after one'? God forbids. Is that the best you could do? I think you ready undervalue yourself to have married an 'after one'.

jpphilips:



Your wife defeated you with superior intelligence after all the baby mama shit, they hang it on rookies like yourself,

Do you know that several sane ladies wont marry you if you carry such baggage? anyways some folks are addicted to tokumbo shaa.

dont be deceived, birth certificate is the only legal document the boy has you can still go back to the same hospital and write another with your name on which all other credentials will be built. ie if your wife is pulling such unintelligent stunt.

finally, keeping another man's son under your roof is a time bomb. especially when you intend to have sons of your own.

The baby mama craze wont end if men like you continue falling for their antics.

jpphilips:


1) The message was never for men with very low IQ whose wives justify keeping the product of her "baby mama" trophy probably used to be her ego booster on social media in her hay days, with an unintelligent excuse of birth certificate, you just proved that you are dumb to be f00led with such cheap stunt.

2) since you didn't understand the message, I will spare you further details of the dangers of raising another man's son. you think you are being the great daddy? lol such unintelligence and myopic. On your first son's 21st birthday, the Op must have learnt his lessons, you will open a thread asking for advise on the same subject.

I always say this, most of the pettiness women display in our so called modern society is as a result of failures parading themselves as men.
When I thought that desperation for sex is the lowest a man can go and now this? To believe it sounds ok to you is an indicator you need urgent psyche evaluation.

In the past, a man or woman won't dare have a child outside wedlock, why? because she will kiss matrimony goodbye except she goes back to her child's father, while the man will never marry from a decent home. today, single parenthood is done with impunity while those in marriage behave so badly that they are always ready to quit to become single parents then take the pleasure of flouting such abomination on social media.
The reason is because men like you have failed man and God. Men like you have allowed the abominable become the norm.
Victims of rape still have 48hrs contraceptive thanks to advancement in medical science, what other reason does a sane person have to keep such abomination?

It is bad enough we are having premarital sex, the society has no sympathy for any woman who opens her legs without proper sex education because in our present world, pregnancy is the least of your worries if you have spent as much time I have in the emergency room.

Ojukwu's story could have been a lesson to those of you who have chosen to wrap their heads with abomination.

ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Jonathan:

You are the most foolish
fools like you are like the op
how can a man be sleepy with a lady who just gave birth and lactating and wont know?
Did you read the story at all?