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My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Wife To Husband; Yes I Slept With Another Man. What Should He Do? / Bob-manuel Don-christian: 'My Wife Had A Son For Another Man' / My Wife Had An Affair!! (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Oyindidi(f): 10:54am On Nov 23, 2017
Xmen149:

chineke nna!! shocked
na my own side of the story be that grin
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by adadike281(f): 10:55am On Nov 23, 2017
CaptainJeffry:
"is this really true love or i'm fooling myself?"






Says it all. undecided
The way I see it, the guy is d one loving truly biko!
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by complet: 10:56am On Nov 23, 2017
royalamour:
A year plus and your wife already have another child for you?

How did it happen?

How many months did you date her before tying the knot?

Did she cheat you with the said man?

Are you smart at all?

How can you marry a lactating lady and you don't know?
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 10:56am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

not being tribalistic at all,it seems lots of Yoruba support this for the guy to go on,seems they cultural backing to this but no one should subject this guy to emotional blackmail..haba!!

Dude you where never told or had knowledge of this or planned for it before marriage so any decision you take you will never be blamed.

in the case of name.,in igbo tradition once a lady gives birth without the responsible man paying her bride price the baby automatically bears the mothers maiden name so also in many occasions where there is divorce and the bride price is returned.The said child is supposed to be with her family and she can be sending anything she wants to to them(you can then choose to make contributions at times as responsibility to your in-laws if the child bears their surname) not disrupting your marriage.

If you choose the other way,do it because it makes you happy not responsibility or care or useless show-love blackmail cos that's nonsense after-all people still put people on scholarship IF they have the means and dnt expect anything back.

your wife and kids is your first responsibility if anyone is not ok with that face your kid and ur self alone.

relate to her family in meeting,build your own family young man.

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 10:57am On Nov 23, 2017
Oyindidi:
na my own side of the story be that grin


its kinda logical from the story
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 11:00am On Nov 23, 2017
adadike281:
The way I see it, the guy is d one loving truly biko!
...and fooling himself too in the process. He knows the answer to his questions but he chose to disturb people here.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Oyindidi(f): 11:06am On Nov 23, 2017
Xmen149:


its kinda logical from the story
Abi, how can a man do traditional marriage and white wedding without knowing your wife has a baby less than a year. I don't think it's possible cos someone would av leaked the secret. That lady is a loose woman, how can you let another man touch when breastfeeding and got pregnant after your first baby daddy denied the baby(the boy).

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Barmmyshoes(f): 11:10am On Nov 23, 2017
olagoke157:
please if there is anyone here that knows someone that sells big size palm slippers/slip ons please just mssg me or quote ..and shoes please...preferably size 46....like d ones in d pics

How about this one in this thread www.nairaland.com/4179853/nice-gift-ur-spouse-festive
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Barmmyshoes(f): 11:11am On Nov 23, 2017
olagoke157:
please if there is anyone here that knows someone that sells big size palm slippers/slip ons please just mssg me or quote ..and shoes please...preferably size 46....like d ones in d pics

How about this one in this thread www.nairaland.com/4179853/nice-gift-ur-spouse-festive
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Afonjanightmare(m): 11:13am On Nov 23, 2017
This OP, sorry but you are a FOOL!!!

You said you are a young man but married a second hand woman lolzzzz, with your young age you could get the best of best women but you chose a second hand woman, you won't regret it now but later, how on earth would someone sensible marry a woman that has given birth for another man? I wonder if this story is made up cos it sounds stupid. How on earth did your family accept this woman in question, I'm sure you fought them, I weak for you o!!!!!!!!!!
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 11:15am On Nov 23, 2017
Both of u should sit and talk. But I believe true love take it all
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by RZArecta(m): 11:20am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Im really down and confused .just thought of coming on here today to free my mind.I was at least thinking shes gonna use her own dad name .I dont want to claim another mans son but for her using the guy name is really getting me worried.
This is something you both really need to discuss even if it means bringing extended family into the matter later on.

Do you love the boy ?
Are you willing to accept him as your own son ?
Are you willing to legally adopt him as your son ?
What relationship if any does your wife still hold with the boys father ?
Are you guys sure the father isn't going to come around a few years down the line to claim the boy after all your sweat ?

You guys really need to talk sha cool
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 11:20am On Nov 23, 2017
Oyindidi:
Abi, how can a man do traditional marriage and white wedding without knowing your wife has a baby less than a year. I don't think it's possible cos someone would av leaked the secret. That lady is a loose woman, how can you let another man touch when breastfeeding and got pregnant after your first baby daddy denied the baby(the boy).

Forget,.womens brain are designed to consentrate on upto two tasks at a time perfectly,if she decide to hide it no jupiter will make it come to light till when she wants............

even the in-laws go dey devilish i believe they are working with their daughter, they didnt communicate this with the guy and family even in the sit together before bride price,they stretch hand collect bride price make the problem shift to another man house instead of solving it from start,....
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Oyindidi(f): 11:25am On Nov 23, 2017
Xmen149:


Forget,.womens brain are designed to consentrate on upto two tasks at a time perfectly,if she decide to hide it no jupiter will make it come to light till when she wants............

even the in-laws go dey devilish i believe they are working with their daughter, they didnt communicate this with the guy and family even in the sit together before bride price,they stretch hand collect bride price make the problem shift to another man house instead of solving it from start,....
I don't think they are married. They are just living together. It's a common practice here in Rivers States
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Medicineguy: 11:27am On Nov 23, 2017
eodavids:


You are not helping matters at all, with due respect.

You just made your comment as a robot.

Put your self in the OP's shoe.
You married a woman whom another man succeeded in putting in the family way earlier on.

You, having a heart of gold, accepted the innocent child to come live in your matrimonial home while you serve as the loco-parentis.

With your scarce resources, you take care of the child the way a man does for his biological son.
Then as the child enroll into school, your wife suddenly remembered that the person who impregnated her (and probably slept with her during that pregnancy) was someone other than your good self. She did not just stop at remembering 'that guy' but went ahead to give the guy the honour of owning the boy's surname.

She should have at least told the husband:
"Our son needs a surname. Should he answer "xx"?

If you are in OP's shoe, you will feel sidelined.
Best Comment
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by MissRaine69(f): 11:28am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.
The pit of you need to sit down and have a frank honest discussion. She needs to know that the conversation is a deal breaker. If she lied her family is complacent too so that conversation needs to take place as well. The child knows no better but the adults in the child’s life do know the difference between right and wrong.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by monlawal(m): 11:30am On Nov 23, 2017
Her mistake is that she did not consult you before using the surname. She thought you might object to using your name. Talk2Her it would go a long way
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 11:32am On Nov 23, 2017
Oyindidi:
I don't think they are married. They are just living together. It's a common practice here in Rivers States

oh,.no wonder the WONDER WOMAN seems to be running the show.....both are swiming in potopoto let the dead bury the dead,.case closed cheesy
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Oyindidi(f): 11:33am On Nov 23, 2017
Xmen149:


oh,.no wonder the WONDER WOMAN seems to be running the show.....both are swiming in potopoto let the dead bury the dead,.case closed cheesy
Lol, who is the dead in this story?
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by grandstar(m): 11:34am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Bring up the issue with your wife. Ask why she did that? Why didn't she use your name? The most important thing is to stay calm and not jump to conclusion.

She might have reasons.

Don't fret over it.

Tell her you have her best interest at heart.

That you feel it will be in the interest of her child that he bears your surname.

If she believes keeping the the child's father's name is best, just ignore it. In time, she will come around or the child himself may demand he bears your name.

Jeff Bezos, the richest man in the world and founder of Amazon bears his stepfathers name. His stepfather was the only dad he ever knew
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by after4: 11:35am On Nov 23, 2017
please try to consider the fact that the boy, when grown won't forget that someone trained him in school. people train other people who later forget them. I believe in the fact that what goes around comes around.God can still bless you for that act. remember if God don't bless you no man will. you are doing it for the boy not the woman. what if that boy becomes the only responsible child you have. forget the folly of women and touch alife.thanks as you decide
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Xmen149(m): 11:43am On Nov 23, 2017
Oyindidi:
Lol, who is the dead in this story?

lol both,.the woman playing tinko-tinko and abrakatabra and the boy that does not know what he wants..this one if you tell am toilet is now sitting room he will put TV and stay there grin...............but women dey over do oh,and ex told me she go won born pikin for me even as she is married,somthing to forever remind her of me undecided i sick that day...............................women!
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Nobody: 11:44am On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.
What the woman did is correct, cos you are not the father the earlier you accept that fact, the better.
Just hv it in mind that your taking care of the child is scrafice and charity.

Talk to her and be sure she is not seeing the other man and keep ur marraige safe n healthy
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by preetyb(f): 11:50am On Nov 23, 2017
Sir I will advice you leave things the way they are now because as long as that boy's father is still alive and doing well, the mother won't have inner peace until her baby papa acknowledges his son, and if the boy is already answering your name when that times comes, it will hurt you more because the boy the world used to know as your son is now answering a different surname and that will give you much more heartaches.
Just let go of the name thing besides why do you even have to worry yourself about another man's son bearing your name when you have started having kids that will carry on your name.
But if you feel bothered so much about it, have a talk with your wife but don't insist the boy should answer your name because the boy's father is still alive and even your wife will shock you when the tussel for the boy begins. Women reason like people on weed sometimes.. Smiles.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Saintdaprince(m): 11:56am On Nov 23, 2017
The boy is not your son. So he should answer his dad's name not yours. Secondly, you have a daughter now, love your wife and daughter. Find things to do your them including the step son, don't do anything stupid because I won't waste time to pick you up and lock you inside the prison. Show the boy love.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by willynilly87: 11:58am On Nov 23, 2017
Discuss it with her and let her tell u her reason.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by mrsfavour(f): 11:58am On Nov 23, 2017
LadySarah:
the lady knows what she is doing ,the sad part is that you are alteady married so you cant go back now.I doubt you are igbo though cos that boy should be answering your wife's maden surname not her babypapa name.until the babypapa comes for thrm both which isnt gonna happen anymore since you are now married now.
But what i'm trying to wrap my head around is how she has a one plus yr old son and also a daughter already for you.
did you court anf marry her while she was pregnant for another man? forgive my questions
exactly, the thing is happening under 2 or 3 years ,how come sleeping with a woman who just gave birth and he could not know ? Already a wife to u,I don't think they die courtship.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by Badgers14: 12:00pm On Nov 23, 2017
ray121:
Hi everyone.

I do really need your advise on what to do before taking action. I'm a young married guy and married to a single mother. Initially I never knew she had a son but when i got to know i accepted my fate and moving on. We now living together and had my own daughter for me.

The step son started school now under my roof cos he's just a year plus now close to 2. I just discovered the surname the mother used to register the boy is her real dad that they never lived nor stay together. What should i do? is this really true love or i'm fooling myself? I've been taking care of this boy for more than a year now and this is happening.

Please, what should i do? Thanks and God bless.

Glad you spoke up this early.

If you love the kid and plan to be there all his life.

Better go and adopt him officially and have the papers so the other dad won't stagger back to lay claim.

In igbo land traditionally speaking, i should say in some customs in igbo land, paying the brideprice of the mother that is your wife automatically grants you custody of the boy. The saying is, you are marrying the woman and whatever comes along with it.

One thing i want both you and every other person reading this to know is, if you are ever contemplating on marrying a single mother. This right here is the very first issue to tackle before moving ahead and you need to make your position green clear to the mother abi wife to be. This is because if you don't handle this issue very well, it results in heart break later on.

Also try to understand who the real father is and the circumstances that led to the baby, were the two dating? Was she raped? Were they married? Where does the real father reside, where is he from? These will give you an insight on the battle ahead.

Good luck.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by sisisioge: 12:03pm On Nov 23, 2017
Well, he isn't your son...he is your step son. Biko let him bear his father's name regardless of what you do for him.

Meanwhile, she has a less than two years old son, has a daughter for you....hmmm...the maths is kinda tricky....I used to love maths until it got so complex grin

It is well.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by preetyb(f): 12:12pm On Nov 23, 2017
Afonjanightmare:
This OP, sorry but you are a FOOL!!!

You said you are a young man but married a second hand woman lolzzzz, with your young age you could get the best of best women but you chose a second hand woman, you won't regret it now but later, how on earth would someone sensible marry a woman that has given birth for another man? I wonder if this story is made up cos it sounds stupid. How on earth did your family accept this woman in question, I'm sure you fought them, I weak for you o!!!!!!!!!!

Sir it is not a big deal for a young man to marry a young single mother. Did the lady impregnate herself? Is it Not a man like you that did that to her...it could have been any one of your love ones, so you would prefare your single mother sister get married to a man with kids or stay on unmarried than for a young man without kids get married to her?... She made a mistake of loving the wrong man and that is just it. If she could see the future she would not have been a victim of an irresponsible man. So please let the young man be afterall everyone cant think like you.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by delishpot: 12:18pm On Nov 23, 2017
well, she can not name the child your name until he is officially adopted by you. so if you have chosen to be in his life, you must do so irrespective of his dad.
Re: My Wife Had A Son For Another Man, What Should I Do? by engrchykae(m): 12:23pm On Nov 23, 2017
Nature is watching you and what will be your decision and action but i will advice you to be a great dad to the child,he might be brighter than your own blood.
The gods have brought your blessing in a dirty package.
Mark my words.

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