looks 2 me as if u didnt knw wht u weren't supposed 2 say either

are you sure?

dnt ask me dat!

What is Kolawole feeling like?
me give or show my husband my paycheck. i dont think that is possible, i dont mind borrowing him money he must definately return, or contributing to the house keep especially when he's using his own money for a project that affect both of us.
but doing the girl is good and give my pay at the end of each month, dearies NO WAY!

exactly, no way

thank you ma sisters alheri and bagoma, you really are da sistahs. meanwhile you guys should check out the thread on spicing up your marriage https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-7013.0.html#msg212659 and lets have some ideas so we can do the wrestling thing more often

As allonym said,

there can be plenty of reasons why a person would do that. They could be:

1) better at managing money
2) they won't get stressed out about paying bills and taxes
3) they make better investment decisions
4) they are better at enforcing they couple's rules when it comes to money
5) more reasons a person could think of

Ladies I'm sure your husband will not ask for your money so he can squander it. If you married a responsible man then you will trust him to manage the household money.

Someone mentioned they can lend their husband money and but he must pay back.Marriage I am afraid is not like that . I am sure most of the ladies saying this are not yet married.
At the end of the day this is only money, our marriage I believe is more important

4 wetin? give my paycheck to my husband care? I can't even imagine it happening. Yea, we can discuss bout our finances. I have my account, he has his and if we like can still open a joint account but d way i spend my money is fully my business.

@ alheri.
na dat kind ur man i like marry

It breaks my heart when i see how money easily can divide a family. The bible says that when a man and a woman get married "the two shall become one". In Nigeria, we seem to say, yes Lord, except for money. Even when my husband and I were dating, we both knew how much the other was earning, we made plans for our money together. Once we got married, we opened a joint account. All our income goes into it. Every month, we sit down and do a spreadsheet to budget our spending for the month. Out of our joint income, each of us gets a fixed amount as "pocket money" to spend as we wish. All other spending decisions are made jointly. As far as i am concerened, this is the way marriage should be. This was my goal when i was looking for a man to marry. I would never have married anyone who feels that a part of their lives is a no-go area for their spouse. My husband and I share everything, with God as our head to direct us.

Consultant:

It breaks my heart when i see how money easily can divide a family. The bible says that when a man and a woman get married "the two shall become one". In Nigeria, we seem to say, yes Lord, except for money. Even when my husband and I were dating, we both knew how much the other was earning, we made plans for our money together. Once we got married, we opened a joint account. All our income goes into it. Every month, we sit down and do a spreadsheet to budget our spending for the month. Out of our joint income, each of us gets a fixed amount as "pocket money" to spend as we wish. All other spending decisions are made jointly. As far as i am concerened, this is the way marriage should be. This was my goal when i was looking for a man to marry. I would never have married anyone who feels that a part of their lives is a no-go area for their spouse. My husband and I share everything, with God as our head to direct us.

you are right when u say money divides families but i do not agree that it is because a couple do not share their money. not everyone is capable of having joint accounts with their husbands, in fact joints accounts ahve caused divorces in many families. i think what is important however is that couples reach an agreement as to how their finances will be managed, not necessarily having joint accounts.

I give my husband my paycheck and he is also in control of all the finances.
I always ask him when I need any money.
We have always done it this way since we got married and it was actually my sugestion. Since my husband is very reasonable with money, it has been only to my advantage.

Since my husband is very reasonable with money, it has been only to my advantage.

According to some marriage counselors in my family, what nawah has described is advantageous if one partner is more thrifty and accounting-inclined than the other. According to them, that thrifty partner should be the one keeping the money and they should both decide on how to spend it. So if the wife is more responsible with money, she should be the one keeping the money. It would be stupid to submit your money to a man who is a gambler, for instance. It works for nawah only because of the kind of person her husband is. You cannot assume all husbands are like that.

Did i hear 'submit' no way o i can williingly on my own
'show' m husband but not submit afterall his not the one that paid 4 m education so why submit
he met me already made
but will tell him how much and also be aware of his to avoid misunderstanding

An education does not make a woman ready made.
That is just a foundation and one of many options.

@ nawah in the nigerian society it makes u my dear
esp in marriage and we are talking of paycheck
not income

MY dear Chy I do not understand how an education makes a woman in a marriage. I got married and lived in Nigeria several years and I have a solid education but I think that it sometimes even brings problems into a marriage when women lay so much emphasis on it.They think that because they are eduated they no longer have to comply with our tradition as regards the rights and duties of a wife in marriage. They just get brainwashed with colonial ideologies. I also studied in Nigeria and I know what it is all about. Studies at day time and in the night legallised prostitution with all the big shots in town. IS that what increases the womans bagening power?
PLease you have to clear me up on this one

@nawah i still maintain that is necessry esp if your hubby is educated
and in niga it depends how u got ur own certificate i suffered 4 mine and
wasnot a party to nite prostitution or whatever u call it
i no that my man will respect m own wishes and right to m paycheck
[quote][/quote]Education is acquired knowledge and very important

@nawah i still maintain that is necessry esp if your hubby is educated
and in niga it depends how u got ur own certificate i suffered 4 mine and
wasnot a party to nite prostitution or whatever u call it
i no that my man will respect m own wishes and right to m paycheck
[quote][/quote]Education is acquired knowledge and very important

Now don´t take that personal but what goes on in our university'sis no secret at least not to us that grew up there.
I know very many highly educated men married to women that did not study and vice versa and it works out perfect. Education in the senseof a Degree is irrelevant.
Anyway when money talks, we forget about education don´t we.

nawah:

Anyway when money talks, we forget about education don´t we.

Yes we do, Ride on gals i think i am enjoying this

Threads like this, always get to me. Mehn, lots and tons and tons of respect to Ono, Mikun and all that have the fear of the Lord in you.

Me for one, I don't want to get married, just for the fact that I can not do all that the Good Lord set as a guide line for a wife to be. I am totally in support of the submission part. It is a lot easy to be submissive to a loving husband. There is no point in getting married and just fulfilling a portion of the roles that God has strategically stated for women and men. I am highly educated, but I know when and if I get married, I will do all the roles that God wants for me to do.

Like someone already pointed out, the "kids" saying no and what not, they are like what, 17, 18 yrs old. They don't know crap about life and think they know it all. Just like someone rightfully pointed out, when u all get married and ur marriage is half as good as Ono and Mikun and all the virtuous women that posted here, then come back and let us know.

Once again, I really drop my hat for Mikun, Ono, Nawah, Gospelman!!! You guys rock! You make me believe that there are still people out there during the right things!!!!

To topic:
Submit my paycheck, I use direct deposit, so no need to submit paychecks!

Darlin, it is that time of the month.

Where is your paycheck? *collects money from wifey*

lol

Defoly nt.

So Bhola, you don't plan to get married but you know what being a good wife entails Yea. . .that makes sense. . .

Bhola:

They don't know crap about life and think they know it all. Just like someone rightfully pointed out, when u all get married and your marriage is half as good as Ono and Mikun and all the virtuous women that posted here, then come back and let us know.

Hmmm it's easy to sit one's fat ass behind a [i]compurr[/i]a and claim wealth, maturity, experience, good marriage etc. Have you been to their houses and seen that they've got good marriages worth brandishing the way you've done in this quote above?

Thats such a big no, No way about that, why shld a wife be showing the husband how much she earns?, Seen the same scenario with my mumsie and step-father, she wont give in to all his yellings o, she earns the money and she doesnt have to tell anyone how much she earns!

My wife doesnt work for anybody, instead she's into business and has a shop for various kinds of gift items, household items, kitchenwares and some other stuffs. I gave her money to start the business 7years ago and it's grown so big, beyond our imagination. Thank God for this

Reasons? Here are they.

Made her to realise that I have to help her with stocktakings in the shop regularly, while not interested in how much she makes per week or on daily basis. Gave her money whenever I noticed she needs to introduce some new items into the shop that are in demand. Never allowed her to spend money from shop sales to buy anything we need at home. Sitting her down always to advise her on ways to invest well in business. She talks of how much she makes and how she spends regularly, but am not the wanting to know how you spend type of man. I make sure i provide for everything at home through normal regular budget monthly and gives money every week for home running, cos I travel a lot on official assignment and it could be anytime. I do borrow money from her, which must be paid back whenever am buoyant or when salary is paid.

Even if she is working, am not interested in her money, but please our wives and wives to be, let your husband know your paycheck for peace sake, he may be the not bothered type like me. It helps to be open to each other please. My wife knows how much am earning monthly and it helps in knowing your boundary in terms of expenses, so that you dont end up in debt.

I've been married for 10years now and by God's grace, we've never disagreed on money issues for once

Posted by: chinani 
So Bhola, you don't plan to get married but you know what being a good wife entails Yea. . .that makes sense

Chinani, I do respect u a great deal, so I know you intended that as a question, so here is the answer.

If you go through my post really well, I said, I do know what the Bible says a good wife shld be and that is the reason why I do not want to get married now.

So, really Chinani, like I said, I have mad respect for you, at least from what I have read so far, no need "mis-reading" what I typed.

Much love!

thats BS why do i have to give my husband the money i worked my a** for

Well it seems there is more than one question on this thread. For one, I'd tell my husband how much I earn. I have a big mouth & I see no reason for secrecy. But I wouldn't "submit" my check to him (nor would I expect his check). I think both checks should go for household expenses and general savings.

@Bhola
It seems I misunderstood your post. I'm sorry. But now I'm not sure where you stand on this thread's question. Are you submitting or no? I think you are & that you're saying this is endorsed by the Bible.

Iwouldn't mind having a joint account with my husband but I will still have my own savings account but giving my husband my check is wut I will not do. HE can give me his I wouldn't mind either.