Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

He might not have meant it (Proverbs 19:11)

His ego is a problem.

I suspect she's a very submissive lady and he's subconsciously taking advantage of it.

I'm confused. Marriage is a precious gift and she enjoys it.

I think she should keep the house in her name or at least, they should be co-owners though I detest the coercion.

If the man still wants it I his name, perhaps the man should go. He'll regret it eventually

Biko..transfer the property to your children... That's the best solution..
Your husband is just throwing a huge tantrum..
Because God blessed you with sense...he will come back to you someday..

there is nothing like a fake marriage, it is an agreement in front of GOD, u chose ur spouse for a reason.and yes, sweetheart, marriage is an achievement becos it says that u are a faithful, loyal, humble, disciplined and lovable person,,all d tenets u need 2 make heaven,

tiredoflife:


Smh so false marriage is OK
Marriage is truly an achievement to some

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Please, dont fall a victim for men's pranks. Ok,let me share a little story. My dad and mom built a house together,both using their name. Mom contributed more as she wanted to leave where we were formerly. Fastforward a couple years after,dad and mom began having serious issues,and noone could settle it(not even the children; bad right?!) Well,he sent mom packing,but as we're mostly male children,we never allowed such. Mom developed high bp,her health was deteriorating,then we decided to move her away from the house. Now,she's living more comfortable than she was,and has even purchased another land of her own. Dad on the other hand now wants her back?! Irony of life. Mom's moved on and as much as I love my parents being together,I can't sacrifice my mom's health for my own want. Dad can't bring another lady into the house cos the c of o of the building was taken along with mom. So,leave the name peacefully,and live your life. After a while,you'll get used to it. No man should be able to send his wife packing. Not this life or the one after. Its debasing and unheard of. If he wants to go,let him o.

nikenry:
Look before you leap.

Just take a deep breath. Imagine what would have happened if you have used his name instead, and he had ordered you to park out of the house! Where would you have been? Where will your children have been?

Just stay calm. Things will normalize, but the two of you must be ready to shift ground. You may consider using Mr and Mrs on the land document.

How many men use Mr and Mrs willingly ? Most women don't even know till the land deal is finalized n all.

The issue surrounding this matter is serious. Like being forced to part with your belonging. Meanwhile the money was shared and he used his up

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

I don't understand some women atimes. Don't let him bully you into changing the name on the documents. Be wise!!

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

first , your husband does not seem to have a problem hurting his own kids - that should tell you a lot ! Secondly , you are not having this problem because of “ property “ you are having the problem cause your husband is a man who does not have your interest nor the interest of his kids at heart !

I hope and pray you settle this amicably.
But if I were to be your husband, I will never ever ever go back to that house.
Do anything to me as a man, but don't bruise my ego.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

you said he his a good man,which i don't doubt, i have read many contributions,i have few things to say

you didnt tell us what you did wrong that might warrant him to say you should pack out, also i would say that not all man really mean that pack out of a thing they just want to try and exercise am the head of this family thing and wont want to fell challenged, had it been you didn't come up with the idea of telling him stylishly "Mr man this is my house not yours immediately he ordered you to pack it wont have come to this

also am sure he wont send you packaging as you already stated he his a good man, you know that already

he wont be able to do without his kids and he wont send you packaging unless you were caught doing the unspeakable,

also you didn't tell us the building of the house was more of his contribution like you bought the land,and he built and look over the building till you guys both pack in

i reason differently, if only we can hear from your husband side of the story

also once you tell your parent forget about the marriage...you guys are done

also tell the kids what's happening let them call or talk to him, he will only listen to his kids at this point if they are of age to talk though

if we are to base this situation on a general survey, no man would want to live in a woman house....he would pack out nau...dont you know this already he would rather stay in a BQ which he knows he owned

he decided to live far from you because he wont be able to stand seeing you,

please tell us if he still cater for his kids...if yes you know he knows what he his doing

also the more people that knows him know about the issue at hand and talk to him the more you put petrol into fire

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

Spot on. U said my mind!!!!! He wanted to deal with her n dealt with himself.

Lord if all women can be this wise

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

Then relax. Enjoy your life. Your God is alive. You for see nwiiiii

wordbank:

Lol, I don't think he added spices as you observed.
The woman in question is deceptive from her narrative. Men may not have issue with their wives owning businesses without their consent, but owning the property they live in? That one na disgrace

It’s NOT a disgrace. My own father lived in my mother’s house. In fact he knows the property belongs to her and supervised the building of it for her. He even encouraged her to buy other properties and he is aware of it all. In fact he will tell her of properties on the market and take money from her to buy it, then register it in her name. Some he bought for her. All of his own property belongs to his kids, and he had a lot more money than my mother. He knew his relatives had very suspicious behaviors so he made those moves. That is love and trust. He will also NEVER ask my mother to leave the house with us. In fact anyone that tries to separate him from wife and kids is a dead person. That is a husband that loves his family and has no bad motives.

My sister by the time you change the property to his be rest assured that you'll be out of that house. My sister if he refuses that your name and his should be there let him forget it.
This same thing you did happened to my aunt she built her school from scratch, she started with going to people's houses for lessons. Now she has grand children her husband brought in another woman and told he to park, the school she registered in her name over 20yrs back the land
in her name the house the are leaving is built by the man, if she didn't use her name for the school she would have lost it. The house the are living in was sold and money shared everybody Waka. Note after having grand kids.... Please don't change that name I know you love him men are very funny

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

Helju:


Pls correct me if I am wrong. I think she bought the land in her name (from her share) & they built the house together. The owner of the land owns the property.

Yes, you are right. I missed that previously

@Heseesall

So you didn't know he was not aware his name was not on the documents for how many years?

I suspect he spent a lot more on the actual building cost than you did. And you didn't intentionally keep him from knowing whose name is on the title deed?

While I understand you shouldn't grant his request. I also suspect he didn't actually ask you to leave with the kids. He probably just asked you "alone" to leave? Which is also wrong of him. But if that is true, your bringing the kids into it suggests the same sneakiness that made you allow him spend his life savings building on a land that was not in his name. It is unlikely you didn't take effort to ensure he does not find out. This same sneakiness may be the cause of the fight that revealed all these.

The way he sees it is that he overreacted for one day but you have been keeping a deep secret for many years.

You just have to convince him everything I have said above is not true or its no longer true.

Don't change your name from the documents. No matter what. Some might allude it to Ego, but that house is your investment.
He might feel uncomfortable henceforth, but as a husband, he should never have asked you to leave your home.
Just be patient, involve your family if need be.

OkunrinMeta:

@Heseesall

So you didn't know he was not aware his name was not on the documents for how many years?

I suspect he spent a lot more on the actual building cost than you did. And you didn't intentionally keep him from knowing whose name is on the title deed?

While I understand you shouldn't grant his request. I also suspect he didn't actually ask you to leave with the kids. He probably just asked you "alone" to leave? Which is also wrong of him. But if that is true, your bringing the kids into it suggests the same sneakiness that made you allow him spend his life savings building on a land that was not in his name. It is unlikely you didn't take effort to ensure he does not find out. This same sneakiness may be the cause of the fight that revealed all these.

The way he sees it is that he overreacted for one day but you have been keeping a deep secret for many years.

You just have to convince him everything I have said above is not true or its no longer true.

she knows what she did wrong,she just want to claim victim...this will serve others as lessons...she must have done thing that would make the man get crazy to tell her to pack...if the husband knew he has been busy building her a house and not jointly owned house he wont have tell her to pack

It is only an intolerable character of a woman that can make a man leaves the house or asks his wife to leave house. I think because you knew and still know that the house was written in your name, you kept on portraying those characters before him. He should also know that Man and Woman will become one when they are married. It belongs to you both.

HEseesall:

When he told me he wants to use his share for his parents, we agreed my share would be used for get a property then we start to build from there and that's what i did, i expected he knows i would use my name cos i keep the documents, now he is saying he wants his own name only not jointly, who says that pls, at least i compromised for jointly,

we agreed my share would be used for get a property For whom? For you alone? Was that the "agreement"??

Madam Op, the more I read your posts, the angrier I get. You've run here to seek validation after some selfish and headstrong moves, and have carefully curated the story to earn our sympathy. I notice that you have stopped posting after some serious questions were asked (you were still here at 10.30 am). We can't invite your hubby to hear his side of the story, but if you want to be sincere, at least answer the following:

1. What exactly led to your heated argument? Asking a woman to "pack out" is a move only two types of men would make. Lets call the first category "useless men".Your husband does not at all sound like that kind of person, even from your own submissions. A man who lets you keep the documents without once checking sounds like a simple, guy who is likely to over-trust (sadly, there now is such a thing). What would make such a guy ask you to pack out? The second category that would do that is a man who feels pushed to the wall usually because of infidelity. So we want to know: what led to your fight?

2. Approximately what percentage of the cost of building the house came from each party? My suspicion is that hubby contributed well over 50%. So when you fling sole ownership of the property at him, it is not just an insult, but a deep back stab. Not only did you secretly register the property in your name alone, but you are calculating and bold enough to (on top of whatever led to the fight) wield that over him.

Even with all this, you never mentioned anywhere that he laid his hands on you. Your own words paint your husband as a nice, decent, trusting man. What did you do to bring out the demon in such a man And demon or no demon, he still walked away, rather than getting physical.

Abeg, people should stop abusing the man until we have a more balanced narrative.

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

oga calm down o,if she is begging u should find out the real reason. you think all she wrote is all that it is?


the man dey craze on its own,its aa a result of pride,insecurity and ignorance on his path.....


lady kindly take this man to authority he respect and honour if there is any.

Your husband is a very wicked man
he wanted to send you out but it boomerang on him.
stop begging him, he ll be feeling untop the world. stop begging him because you don't want the society to say things about you.
whenever he feels like coming around, that's his business
focus on your kids

Never dare make any changes. The truth of the matter was that he didn't want you again that's why he leaved. If you make the change and he come back, just have at the back of your mind that sooner or later you will leave the house for him.

Be wise. However, find other means to lure him back.

HEseesall:
...Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.
...

Read your own words. He is a GOOD man. How many women can say that about their husbands after going through so much?

You realize the problem, but you're fooling yourself by terming it a "bruised ego". You title also describes him as proud.
Madam, the first step to getting a solution, if that is indeed what you want, is to see him for what he seems to be: a man who feels seriously betrayed by a calculating (if not more) wife.

HRHQueenPhil:
its with me, love.. u shld learn 2 watch ur mouth

Queen honeypie, sorry about that ok, but your coment isn't funny at all, all thesame its your opinion. One love darling, happy sunday ok

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Don't change anything immediately you change the name he will divorce you, and you will be homeless (God forbid) I have witnessed something like this he has another lady outside just pray but don't change anything

Madam,
There is no issue here. Ask God for direction and he will give peace all round.
The solution is this. Call a lawyer and change the name to your kids name. Am talking from what is working for me. All my properties are in my kids name and my wife know about it. Plan for ur kids and never have a misunderstanding that will make u two to talk about personal achievement to ridicule each other.
Carry only ur daddy along in this matter and if possible arrange a meeting with him where his dad,ur lawyer and ur dad will be in attendance to beg and present d kids as the new owner of the house.
Be loyal and smart with ur husband. God bless u.

HEseesall:



I am not a blogger who wants traffic, you can choose not to believe if you want, i just need advice and other options,

telling him to his face in the first instance that the house is not in his name is enough for him to be this annoyed. I won't suggest you change the house name to his in order to protect your future in that house Incase issue like this happen in future.
the fact still remains he won't easily forget the incident because it like telling him that he is not man enough, why don't you change the property to the name of one of your kids and continue begging him even if he doesn't give you attention.
let him know you still care about him and your marriage. he will still come back if he cares about his family but it all depends on how you handle the issue.

Sell the house, keep the proceeds for yourself. Let him raise money and rent a house or build one, with his name on it. Most men are wicked.

sometime I feel it's better to be a baby daddy than to get married to all this ladies and loose Ur future in the process..

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

I'm smelling anoda striker here . plx dont change anything. U hold it its ur own . I'm a marriage man I can't treat my wife in such a mannerles way

baby124:

It’s NOT a disgrace. My own father lived in my mother’s house. In fact he knows the property belongs to her and supervised the building of it for her. He even encouraged her to buy other properties and he is aware of it all. In fact he will tell her of properties on the market and take money from her to buy it, then register it in her name. Some he bought for her. All of his own property belongs to his kids, and he had a lot more money than my mother. He knew his relatives had very suspicious behaviors so he made those moves. That is love and trust. He will also NEVER ask my mother to leave the house with us. In fact anyone that tries to separate him from wife and kids is a dead person. That is a husband that loves his family and has no bad motives.

Your dad represents a unicorn and his reasons to be exceptional is understandable though not that acceptable.
Your family foundation seem to have some good level of trust not in this woman's case.
I don't know your sex, but put yourself in her husband's shoes and feel betrayed. She have nothing next to openness in marriage, so how do you expect the man to live in same house with her?
Property ownership may not be his outburst but her intentions which in no way favour the family.
This same woman can wake up one morning and tell her husband that their children are not his.

Women will always mislead women. It's the norm in the world we live in. Table the whole truth before your father and his father. They will give you the best advice.