MsGood:
.
So, its better to abort? Or even worse, lose one's womb and be crying for children on mountains? Mistakes are part of life. If you don't like women with kids or as you put it, 'baggage', then don't marry one. It's quite simple.

janellemonae:


The grandmother might be in poverty with no help and dts why she rejected it. Do u think grandparents are househelps.

Ur talking abt helping family from afar, this is her MOTHER! If her mother can reject her, what hope does she have again in this life? A mother dt is not even supposed to eat if her child is hungry.

You people should fear God o.

Afamed:

But no one so far has blamed the man that abandoned his sole responsibility. What manner of man is the one that wants another man to raise his daughter up for him?

babyfaceafrica:
that is his decision to make..I just pity the child though

Odobopa:


Hmmm..
Well..he was aware the lady he married is a single mum..So kini big deal.... How can you even say no NO to something like this

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

Sisomugo:
This guy is so mean. Imagine a silly reason to open thread.
By the way, that thing you call your home is also your wife's home so you guys co-own it.

UBGG:


If your wife's mother cannot accommodate her own grandchild sans any modicum of guilt about it, don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into doing it.

I too cannot be responsible for another woman's baby. I am one of those who could help financially so long as it far away from my home. I am unashamed of my stand and so should you.

If you let the opinion of the emotional folks here compel you to do it, I assure you you'll emotionally, mentally and even physically abuse that child.

Again, there's no shame in your decision. Some of us just cannot care for certain reminders in the form of babies.

Azsalami:
Please nairalander, I need a salary or wages work, I am so frustrated right now, I am so hungry.
.
I am a chef,
I can make smallchops ( Spring rolls, Samosa, puffpuff, Mosa, fish in batter, meatballs, yam balls, peppered snail, peppered meat, peppered gizzard, Asun scotch egg and many more)
.
I can also make a lot of grilling BBQ( Asun, chicken BBQ, fish BBQ, chicken kebab, beef kebab, suya etc)
.
I can also make cocktails and smoothie's.
.
MY LOCATION: ABUJA
CONTACT: 08134875404 and 08128907522. you can also chat me up on what's app with 08134875404.
.
please you can check my instagram business page @chef_salp to see some of my works and my skills.
.
I don't mind working as someone house cook, Restaurant chef , Office chef . any position.
I can also teach you how to make smallchops, Grills and cocktail online and physical at a token amount,
I can handle an event and you can place your smallchops order too, it will be delivered to you anywhere in Abuja, thank
.
I am a computer literate, I am so good in coreldraw and I can design and also make banner, flyer and logo. in case you have a office to fix me in.
please help my ministry, thanks, God bless you

Swissheart:
hello, I see you are a pastry chef, can you make pizza and sharwama

Jiang:


The little girl has a biological father!!!! who's still alive & well

babyfaceafrica:
lolz..and you know this?.. do you know the number of ungrateful people around?..nothing is sure in life...the child can either appreciate or bone the stepfathet

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

perfectedmee:

What sort of slowpoke re u.

Dis is 21st century. Wake up man.

Dre is nothing wrong wit d child staying with u.

My fiancee has a three years old boy. He is my bf. He even calls me Dad.

D day her mum moves in wit m is d day d boy will also do.

If any of my family don't want that, dey can jejely go hug transformer.

MsGood:

Well, personally I don't let people's 'bad' change my 'good'.

UBGG:


The father said no. The grandmother, same response. I cannot help but think something is off with the child.

I most certainly cannot bring a child I don't know her/his behaviour, energy, emotional state or the environment he/she was raised to mingle with my kids.

Let the heaven fall. Let folks cry tears of blood. No way!!!

Nofav0rs:
lol. It's not wrong to take the kid.

My point is, why did the dad return the kid to the mum? Because he's now married? That's not a good reason knowing the mum is also married. He's putting someone else in same thing he's avoiding

If his new wife loves him so much, his kid should not be a problem that he'll have to take the kid to the mum?

I get it if the kid has been with the mum right from time. But it's wrong for the dad to bring to the mum just because he's now married

You get my point now?

Note: if I'm marrying a single mum, I'll gladly and fully accept her child wholeheartedly. But this is a different scenario

Daeylar:
Is like nairaland mods don't want people to consider marriage with the type of marriages stories that make FP. No lovey dovey stories? None at all

Anyways. I really doubt this story is real sha.
If it is
Your wife's baby father is an idiot. So are you, and so is she.
All three of you involved in this situation, all are fuckin idiots

-Your wife's baby daddy is married and so therefore can't take care of his child. What stupidity is that?
-You married a woman with child and don't want her child to be near you or be with you? Where would her child be before? What kind of stupidity is this?
-And as for your wife. For not letting you know that that is her daughter, her child and she will protect and not tolerate any type of nonsense towards her baby. Not from you. Not from anyone.
Imagine sending your child away because your husband doesn't want to see her. And only begging your husband to accept the child because your mum says she won't take care of your daughter anymore. I wonder if she would have bothered to bring her daughter home if her mum says she wouldn't mind raising her.

I don't know whose stupidity is more epic among all 3 of you.

Anyways, All of you, fu*king cunts.

See how 3 idiots are using a poor child's life to play.

This is why we advocate for abortion. So that a child isn't born to parents who don't want the child and don't understand that raising a child is a life long job that they can't just quit from for any reason whatsoever.
Not because a husband says he doesn't want the child to be with him. Or because an idiotic father thinks marriage prevents him from raising his child.
Just a pity all around.

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

UBGG:


The father said no. The grandmother, same response. I cannot help but think something is off with the child.

I most certainly cannot bring a child I don't know her/his behaviour, energy, emotional state or the environment he/she was raised to mingle with my kids.

Let the heaven fall. Let folks cry tears of blood. No way!!!

maestroferddi:
I tire o.

Naija peeps can pretend.

Snake oil salesmen sincerity all over the place.

If this seedy outpouring of empathy I am reading here is genuine, how come our society is so wicked?

Azsalami:
Please nairalander, I need a salary or wages work, I am so frustrated right now, I am so hungry.
.
I am a chef,
I can make smallchops ( Spring rolls, Samosa, puffpuff, Mosa, fish in batter, meatballs, yam balls, peppered snail, peppered meat, peppered gizzard, Asun scotch egg and many more)
.
I can also make a lot of grilling BBQ( Asun, chicken BBQ, fish BBQ, chicken kebab, beef kebab, suya etc)
.
I can also make cocktails and smoothie's.
.
MY LOCATION: ABUJA
CONTACT: 08134875404 and 08128907522. you can also chat me up on what's app with 08134875404.
.
please you can check my instagram business page @chef_salp to see some of my works and my skills.
.
I don't mind working as someone house cook, Restaurant chef , Office chef . any position.
I can also teach you how to make smallchops, Grills and cocktail online and physical at a token amount,
I can handle an event and you can place your smallchops order too, it will be delivered to you anywhere in Abuja, thank
.
I am a computer literate, I am so good in coreldraw and I can design and also make banner, flyer and logo. in case you have a office to fix me in.
please help my ministry, thanks, God bless you

Beey:
You don't understand.The story pissed me off.I am trying to understand what's the worst that could happen if he takes in a 7 year old.How can he claim to love the mother while the child is suffering out there?It is very annoying to think about.Age is just a number.We have some sixty year olds who act 16.Wisdom is supposed to come with age but not for some.

femichill:

Sincerely, I will not accept the child. I will only take the child in if the father is dead.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

thedondada:



As a friend of mine used to say it's poor people that know how to advice a rich man on how to spend his wealth. This ish ain't an easy pill to swallow. Take up the responsibilities of another man.

Though he was aware of her prior to the marriage and still went ahead. He should just do what is right in his mind. No need to complicate issues. Either way he's bleeped unless he can truly accept the child in the home with all his heart.

Nairaland fayose you have 3 options open to you.

1. Accept the child truly as yours and have a peaceful and happy marriage.

2. Accept the child grudgingly and hate her and you wife for . Along you do what you didn't want to. Marriage may not survive it.

3. Reject the child and have your wife hate you in the long run for shit that ain't your fault.

The choice is yours

MsGood:

My point exactly! He might end up maltreating or abusing the girl.

Sap0:

your mindset is wrong though... you will not accept the child, the child born by your wife just because that child belongs to another man,what message does that even send to your wife?
honestly humanity has gone to the dogs

maestroferddi:
The salient point you made is that he should not have married a woman with a child without factoring in the implications...

Otherwise you appear not to understand male psychology. Forget the simplistic comments cascading down here, it is not easy to keep another man's offering under one's roof.

If the man was never married when he met the woman, the child has the potential of reminding the man of what couldn't have been. I hope you know what I mean.

The man should make peace with himself and pray for God's reassurance to accept the child.

My point is that the matter doesn't look as simple as you guys make it look...