Singles tell me that no one is talking with them about their issues.

This page creates a “Safe Place” for singles and Married to share their concerns, while protecting their dignity. Some singles believe marriage is difficult, while some couples need someone to be talk to about their Marriage.

Keeping Your Wife/Husband Your Best Friend, is an excellent tool for men/Women preparing for marriage and that are married.


We will be sharing life experience, Make Comment (No abuse) in other to help each other.

Lets get Started.

Is Getting Married or Staying Single More Advantageous
It's a question we all face, so what's the right answer?

The advantages of a single lifestyle are real
Getting married and having kids requires a great deal of commitment both financially and time wise. When you take away these commitments, a person can focus solely on what is in their best interest. The choice to take additional risks are typically easier because they must only consider the wellbeing of themselves.

An unmarried professional without children can dedicate as many hours as they are physically and mentally able to their career growth. Focusing all of their energy on one component of life will likely lead to a bigger success, but certainly doesn't guarantee it.


The advantages of being married with kids are real
It is difficult to describe to someone who is not married and/or does not have children the joy and happiness that accompany it. Knowing you have a spouse on your team for richer or poorer and will always be in your corner is something you can't put a pricetag on. Then if you are fortunate to have children, the feeling of coming home to them is an inexplicable feeling. It provides such a deep purpose and incredible reason for existence.
Above all else, being a spouse and parent provides a purpose and drive to achieve that cannot be had in any other phase of life.

Do the advantages vary by gender? What is your take on this? Drop your comments.

We will be discussing about.

Love

When Is It Real Love?

“How will I know when I’m in love?” This question, or something like it, has been asked by many.

The answer to this question doesn't become clear until they have married and unmarried Mr. or Mrs. Wrong a few times. Indeed, it is a difficult topic?

But when it comes to making those commitment decisions, don’t we need to know? People frequently come to therapy dealing, at least in part, with this uncertainty about when they are in love, and when they are just, for example, in lust, or in some fantasy or in love with love, etc. So, how do we know?

You’ll just know... There is a clear difference between Love and Lust. It's something that comes from within, you cannot deny it when you feel it.

Well, below we are going to give but the briefest outline of some of the things that we can get mixed up with love in order to try to distinguish it from love—the real thing..

Love vs. in-love: Falling in love is an unconscious act. It, more or less, happens to us—meaning that it is not something that can be contrived.

When we fall in love, we generally want to be with the person with whom we are in love as often as possible. We experience heightened feelings of happiness in their presence—unless, of course they don’t feel the same way, and then it might be heightened feelings of misery and longing.

When the love is returned we experience feelings of bliss and renewed energy and creativity. We experience intense feelings of longing for the presence, touch, approval and reciprocal feelings from the other person.

Being in love is different from just loving someone, Being in love will add that extra heightened sense of well-being that brings us to our knees before its power.

Do you agree with this? Your comment will help someone.

When Is It Real Love? Contd.

In love vs. the need for power or control: Many times persons who are insecure become attracted to someone whom they feel that they need. The need is so overpowering that it brings on intense feelings of longing—though not generally the bliss that comes with falling in love.

These feelings will then be expressed in terms of control and attempts to get the other to behave in ways that meet the needs of the one who wishes to control. There will be intense feelings of jealousy or even rage that accompany this need for power or control. But the person may also have spent such energy on wooing the other, that they look like they are in love. Yet their internal experience will tell the truth for all of their intense feelings are about owning someone else, not about being with and enjoying the company of someone else.

In love vs. jealousy: Many have somehow come to believe that when you are in love you will be jealous. In fact this belief is so powerful that some believe it in reverse: that if you are not jealous it must not be love[.

But jealousy comes from personal insecurity. It has nothing, whatsoever, to do with whether or not you are in love. As above, many who are attracted due to their need to control others are often quite jealous—but they are not in love.

In love vs. taking care of: Many are attracted to people whom they can take care of, because taking care of others makes them feel important, needed, even like they have a mission in life. They may have intense feelings of need attached to a desire to rescue, but this is not being in love. Rather it has to do with deep issues of self-worth that have evolved into an identity as rescuer, or perpetual mother.

In love vs. the need for security: It actually takes a fairly secure person to fall in love, because the feelings are so intense that they can be overwhelming to an insecure person. But when one is in love, his intense feelings have to do with a really heightened sense of just enjoying someone else’s company, accompanied by increased sexual tension. When one is confusing the need for security with being in love, the intense feelings are of need, desperation, fear of being alone and fear that one doesn’t matter if one is not in a relationship. The sexual tension in this sense then would be about being able to be sure that the other person really cares, rather than a genuine desire to touch and be touched by the loved one.

In love vs. arm-candy: Many people are attracted to those people who are popular, attractive or powerful because they think that being with that person enhances how they are viewed by others. They confuse this attraction with love because they are not aware of how confused they generally are about how one attains to self-esteem. They think that something outside of them can give them self-esteem. But being in love is not about getting someone else to fix our empty places. Rather it is about an intense desire to deeply know and be deeply present with another person.

In love vs. fantasy: This is a tough one because we have a capacity to project our fantasy lovers onto the faces and bodies of a potential partner. It is often years later, when Mr. or Mrs. Right turns out to be absolutely be Mr. or Mrs. Wrong, that we come to see that we are in love with the fantasy lover, not the real person we married. One way to avoid this when we fall in love is to make realistic comparisons between that fantasy person and the person we are actually with.

Of course, being in love does not guarantee that a relationship will work. Relationships require also compatibility and relationship skills on the part of both parties.


“in love” requirement is a must. Relationships are not easy for they bring us to the deepest parts of ourselves—good, bad and ugly
Therefore, being in love must be an aspect of any healthy long term commitment and being sure that it is love.[/b]


ARE YOU IN LOVE? SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US, HOW YOU ARE CONVINCE THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE.

Hey Fam, Lets talk about Dating today

DATING TIPS

DATING TIPS

Dating can be a tricky business. What should you wear? Where should you meet? How much should you say? Who should pay? How soon after your date should you call? With so many questions, it’s hard to focus on getting to know your date. Here you’ll find some top dating tips.

1. First impressions are always important
Yes, you should never pretend to be someone that you’re not, but a girl might like to see that you take pride in your appearance. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you need to wear a full tuxedo, a shave and putting on something suitable will help you impress your date and get you off to a good start. Now all you have to worry about is turning up on time.

2. Make date plans for somewhere you’ll feel comfortable[
Dating can be a daunting experience. If he/she asked you to pick somewhere, help cut through those nerves by arranging to meet up in familiar territory. This will help make you feel more comfortable. Although, maybe avoid your normal Saturday night pub, as bumping into your mates could be a little distracting on your date.

3. Be confident
Across the board, confidence is attractive – enthusiasm will make you shine. If you’re a little shy, practice beforehand by talking to people you don’t know. Or, whilst on the date, pick a subject that you’re enthusiastic about, such as a hobby. he/She will sense your confidence as you talk passionately about it. Many people may also be shy about their appearance. it’s more attractive to a man/woman to show that you’re comfortable in your own skin and happy being you.

4. Don’t do all the talking
On your date, make sure you don’t do all the talking. If this date goes well, there will be lots more opportunities to share your stories in the future. Don’t be scared of pauses and help mix up the conversation by asking your date questions. Listening is important, as it shows that you are interested in what he/she has to say.

5. Keep the conversation fun
Try to keep your conversation light-hearted. On your first date, you don’t want to get into an in-depth conversation about why you don’t enjoy your job, or other issues you’ve been having. Yes you do have to be serious sometimes, but in the early stages of dating, have some fun.

6. Avoid the ‘ex’ conversation
Talking about your ex is dangerous territory. It’s best to stay away from the conversation altogether. It’s unlikely that your date will be interested and it can make things feel awkward between you. If your date does bring up the subject, try to keep answers short, Reassure him/her that your past is history and that you want to spend your time getting to know him/her instead.

7. Turn off your phone
There’s nothing more annoying than phones ringing whilst trying to spend quality time out with friends, and it’s just as irritating on a date. Don’t just put it on silent or vibrate, as you can still become distracted. Turn your phone off completely. If she/he knows that you’ve turned your phone off to focus entirely on the date, he/she will appreciate you’re taking the time to engage with him/her fully.

8. Share the bill
This go mostly with guys, Whether you’re dating a feminist or not, most women will assume that they are paying for their share of the bill. It may be worth letting her know towards the beginning of your date, just so you’re both on the same page. In the early stages of dating, you want her to be spending time with you because she likes you, rather than because she thinks she owes you something.

9. Follow up correctly
If you don’t want a second date, don’t say you’ll call him/her. You’ll end up feeling bad and he/she might feel hurt. Just say, “I had a great time tonight”. If you do want to see he/her again, don’t play games. If you don’t contact him/her within a couple of days, you’ll seem like you couldn’t be bothered, or didn’t enjoy the date. The sooner you tell him/her what a great time you had, the better.

10. Get feedback from a female friend
Dating is not something we learn at school, we simply have to jump in the deep end and see how it goes. But, if you’re looking to improve your dating skills, why not talk to a male friend for ladies and female friend for guys. Discuss your last date, where you went, what you did and what you talked about. Everyone has different opinions, but it can help to give you some useful feedback on how to be better on your next date.


We hope our advice has given you a bit more confidence in how to get more from dating, online and off.


What do you think we should add?

[quote author=ewelekky post=74752596][/quote]

Hi all, Today we will be talking about LOVE, MONEY AND RELATIONSHIP

I Will not come here to tell you to Do this or that but we only share our opinion in this.

Are you arguing with your spouse about MONEY? You’re not alone. When you put together couples and money, you’re bound to get a few spats. Did you know money is the number one issue married couples fight about?

(1) When it comes to marital problems, money fights are the second leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity.

(2) It’s no secret that cultivating a solid marriage takes time and work. No matter how much you love your spouse, trying to merge your lives—and your money—can be a bumpy (but still beautiful!) ride.

Here are seven mistakes couples make when it comes to their money and relationship—and how you can avoid them.

1. They Keep Separate Bank Accounts
Some couples think the best way to avoid money arguments is to keep separate checking accounts. His paycheck goes in one account, hers goes into another, and they each pay bills separately (That's the problem). No harm, no foul, right? Wrong. This lays the groundwork for financial problems as time goes on.

How to work on it:
Marriage is a partnership. The officiant said, “And now you are one.” Both parties need to be involved in the finances. Separating the money is not a problem but splitting the bills is a bad idea that only leads to more money and relationship problems down the road. Don’t keep separate accounts Or Be transparent to the last digit with your spouse. Put all of your money together and begin to look at it as a whole.


2. They Disagree About Their Lifestyle
You need to keep tab on your spouse lifestyle and know how to balance it with yours. Let’s say you’re perfectly content shopping at Goodwill when you need to update your threads, but your spouse loves to buy name-brand items at full price. If you have an income that doesn’t support expensive tastes, that’s going to be a problem.

How to work on it:
Marriage is all about compromise. If one of you is attached to name-brand items, consider shopping at an outlet mall to snag those brands at affordable prices.

Because the bottom line is: your lifestyle needs to line up with what your actual income is—not what you wish it was. Especially when there aren’t enough zeros in your bank account.

3. They Let Personality Differences Come Between Them
Everyone’s personality is different, and opposites tend to attract. Chances are, one of you loves working numbers (the nerd) and the other one would rather not be tied down by what the numbers show (the free spirit). One of you might be the saver and the other is more inclined to spend.

While that can cause some marital problems, it isn’t the real issue. The source of the problem is whenever one of you neglects to hear the other’s input. Or when one of you bows out from participating in the financial dealings altogether.

How to work on it:
Listen up, financial nerds. Don’t keep the money details all to yourself. And stop acting like a know-it-all while using your “knowledge” to boss around your free-spirit spouse. And if you’re the more carefree spouse, don’t just nod your head and say, “That looks great, dear.” You have a vote in the budget meetings! Give feedback, criticism and encouragement.

4. They Let Salary Differences Divide Them
For most couples, one of them probably makes more money than the other. Rarely will you both be making the exact same salary. But whether the amount comes to 5000 or 50,000 more a year, the same problem can arise.

Instead of seeing the full pot as “our money,” you might think you have leverage over the other—all thanks to a few extra digits on your paycheck. Sometimes the spouse bringing in the most money can feel entitled to the most say. Don’t even go there. That’s just asking for more money and relationship troubles.

How to work on it:
It’s not “yours” or “mine”—it’s “ours.” There’s no reason to hold a higher income over the other’s head. You’re on the same team. Start acting like it.

5. They Commit Financial Unfaithfulness
Being unfaithful to your spouse doesn’t always involve an affair. Sometimes it’s when you’re unfaithful to a shared financial vision by opening a side bank account or stashing away cash. That’s deceitful. The same applies if you have a credit card your spouse knows nothing about.

How to work on it:
Be open and honest about any side checking/savings accounts or secret credit cards you have. It’s time to own up to the truth and clear the air. Then, work toward establishing financial trust again. Recommit to your shared goal and remember why you’re doing it. You’re in this together!

6. They Let Their Expectations Get the Best of Them
One of the biggest dividers between couples and money is when they have unmet expectations. The quickest way to feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied with your spouse and financial goals is when you expect things to go a certain way only to find out reality is a bit different.

If you’ve always thought you have to immediately buy a house after getting married, you might feel let down when you celebrate your first anniversary in the apartment you’re renting. Don’t let your unrealistic expectations pave the way for marital problems and discord!

How to work on it:
There is no rule stating married couples have to buy a home, start a family, or go on a trip to Paris during their first or fifth year of marriage. If those things aren’t feasible for you right now, stop worrying. Get your finances in order now so that later you can make your dreams a reality.

7.They Let the Kids Run the Show
Your kids are begging you for the latest video game. You think about how well they’ve behaved lately and figure, why not? But your spouse is upset because it isn’t in the budget. Hello, impending money argument! Whether it’s buying them toys, giving them an allowance, or just paying for their sports equipment—kids have a way of shedding light on couples and their money habits.

How to work on it:
Talk about it and make a plan. Decide together how to budget for the things your children need. But what about all of their pesky wants? Discuss the possibility of establishing chores and a commission (or allowance) for the work they do. This can help them establish a great work ethic all while teaching them how important it is to wait for the things you want in life!


Couples and Money Should Go Hand in Hand
Marriage is a partnership. It’s time to stop making these money mistakes and find common ground. Sure, it’s tricky to figure out how to not fight about money, but you can learn how to discuss your finances in a more productive way.

You married your spouse for a reason. Believe it or not, you need their skills—especially the ones you don’t have. That free spirit or nerd can bring valuable insight and knowledge to the table. They’re your teammate, and it’s time to start treating them like one.


What's your take on this? send mail to us about your relationship experience and things you will like to share. (ewelekky@gmail.com)

How to Keep Your Sex Life Healthy in Marriage

Sex definitely does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years go by, your sex life should get better. You both know each other so well by now. What makes each other feel good, likes, dislikes, habits and so on.

But, we do know that life can get in the way. Chores, kids, finances and so on can put a damper on the romance. These everyday things can interfere with both our desire and finding the time to put into our sex life. You do not want to put sex last on the list. Some of you may need some help figuring out how to both prioritize sex and keep it exciting.

Keep Your Marriage and Sex Life Healthy and Strong
Communication is the key to a healthy and active sex life in a marital relationship, so talk with one another more! Chatting about superficial things can be fun, but remember to go deeper in order to really establish intimacy. Be sure to talk about your innermost thoughts and feelings. Do so frequently!

Share with one another your sexual desires.
Be open and honest about what you want. You do not have to use this time to be critical of your partner. Just assert what you want more of in the bedroom and what makes you feel good.

Talk with one Another.
Talk with one another about your expectations concerning lovemaking. False or unmet expectations can hurt your marriage. If your expectations are not being met by your spouse, communicate this tactfully and sensitively.

Sexual intimacy
Sexual intimacy is a continuing process of discovery. True intimacy through communication is what makes sex great.

Sex in a long-lasting relationship
Sex in a long-lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.

When life becomes busy
When life becomes busy, and schedules are hectic, plan for sexual encounters with one another. Some people may find this undesirable, but it all depends on how you look at it. You can make this just as exciting as spontaneous sex. Flirting throughout the day or specifying a "date for sex" can build anticipation. To make sex one of your main priorities means it may need to be scheduled.

Try to set the mood in advance
Try to set the mood in advance. If you want to have good sex at night, start the pre-intimacy in the morning. Let your spouse know you care and are thinking about him/her throughout the day by notes, e-mails, texts, phone calls, hugs, etc.

Be Active
Don't expect your spouse to be the only one in your marriage who is responsible for romance. You both need to take responsibility for having an intimate and successful marriage. Hold hands and show affection more often.

Make time for date nights
Women particularly need to feel loved and connected in order to have the desire for sex. Make time for date nights and other novel activities together, Be open to trying new things!


A Few Extra Tips​​

1. Being grouchy or ignoring your spouse all during the day hurts your chances of having a positive lovemaking experience that evening.

2. Remember that sex is not going to be perfect each time. Do not compare your sex life to the ones you see in movies or on television.

3. Recognize that abstinence now and then can be beneficial to your relationship if you start to lust after one another more. It is about quality before quantity!

4.Take good care of yourself. Do not let yourself go or fail to manage your health or physical appearance.

Why Your Marriage Needs to Have a Healthy Sex Life​​
1. Productive and meaningful communication
2. Love for each other
3. Physical attraction
4. Willingness to make time for each other
5. Date nights, fun and playfulness
6. Acceptance of each other's flaws and quirks

There is no reason why you can't have an active and healthy sex life for many, many years! Share your story, we can be of help to you.


send mail to us about your relationship experience and things you will like to share. (ewelekky@gmail.com)