your son got ADHD.....simple.

download games like stroop test, Schulte table,puzzles,,word search etc for him to play...let him do some breathing exercises every morning too

larryking540:


na em win am o, e go smart by force, u kw see say 9ja boys smart

OP is not serious.
She carried her son to America Abi London to follow Oyibo. Mumu con catch the boy. You are now asking Nigerians what to do with the boy?

Abeg F*** you Go and ask Oyibo people that you wanted to follow before. This web forum is reserved for tribalistic stupid cases in Nigeria.

olabrinks:
If his behaviour continues wait until he gets a little older and please send him to Nigeria. My parents sent me to Nigeria for boarding school 11 years ago I was 12,13 ish, and it was the best decision they could’ve done for me, I’m so grateful for them. Now I’m married with a child on the way, and I’m doing well for myself. If they ignored me, God knows how my life would’ve turned out. Whilst there, I met so many other children like me , and they all changed for the better. If you have someone trustworthy that can train your child up in Nigeria, it is better please. In the western world there’s only so much you can do, before they start calling the police on you and social services. Please give it a thought if the situation doesn’t change over the years. Your son will come back to thank you, because training at this age of 9 is very very important. If you can’t control him now at this age, it might only get worse honestly.

Send him to me at CHRISTFIELD Private School and College, Ado Ekiti. I once helped a family in Essex, London straighten out their daughter. I can help you out. PM me if you're interested

sounds like kid needs a break from you.
you might want to also book an appointment with child psychologist as you're a western world.
na suffer dey make our naija kids dey behave. no be the beating.

A 9-year-old that doesn't brush for 3 days cannot be held responsible. He/She ought to have parents, guardians or caregiver at that age 100% responsible for their actions

PS: I don't brush until I am fully dressed to my show laced up.

He's young. Quit stressing him. He will grow out of it.

DavidEsq:

That's wat I thought about my son, when he was 10. Now he is 14 and still the same. I fear he is even getting worse. Sh1t's driving me bonkers

it's Called ADHD or hyperkinetic disorder..it's what I'm still battling at my youthful age...over the last 3 months,I have been able to reduce it through yoga meditation,Neurobics and reflex games

Nothing’s wrong with him and quit comparing him with other kids. Keep teaching, correcting and loving him.

Anyday he doesnt brush his teeth again, find his gf and tell her to talk to him about it. Case no. 1 solved. Then home chores and school, u need to tell him how lazy people end up. Tell him that's why uncle Charlie is poor and homeless. Case 2 solved.

That was me while I was at that age lol , easy on him and according to advice from those who had commented earlier , put him through a boarding school for his secondary education(a good one though ) that would sharpen him to the man you dream of ! I was there and a lot of my mates were like that too but the boarding school sharpened us !

Try a rewards system.

He has started smoking igbo..please take him to Lord's chosen church..Tenkiu..

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

8 year old boy is still a kid. Let him enjoy his childhood.

Reminds me of Nishan. Like Stars On Earth

Mizwisdom:



Put him in a Nigerian boarding house, preferably missionary school, you won't regret it. I understand your concern for him please ignore the people who say you should ignore him they are the ones who raise nuisance here

pls dont take this advice. Its unnecessary. Nigeria boarding school is the last place of right discipline for any child

OP, There is nothing abnormal about the boy's behaviour. He will outgrow it. Shouting and feeling frustrated is part of parenting. I know it can be overwhelming. Kpele. Are you a single mother?

For crying out loud he is just 9! can't believe the kind of s#it am reading on the first page of this thread Nigerians are heartless and where has it gotten you all too? the child is not even a teenager yet.

1. He does not insult you.
2. He didn't join a cult.
3. e.t.c

Madam, what is your problem? Stop using your adult mature brain to look at the situation. you are only going to get frustrated because he is just 9!

Go with him for hunting in the woods, he needs to learn how to survive you'll be surprised what he can do. He's way smarter than u think!!!

i honestly think u should put him in a govt boarding school,.. am actually a product of govt school(Gss karshi).



i use to be an ajebo lazy boy dat year, but smhw it transformed me....
i was BULLIED though,

i use to have this school father(papa Razzi) who drilled me for little things like this
after the regular drilling nobody tell me say i suppose wash my socks, HIS socks and iron my OUR uniform against morrow.. . by force by force, it became a habit.
but apparently dat helped...,,

at last i con get sense...


i think thats what JNR needs

[quote author=jess2019 post=81389742]My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.


I think he's autistic.
For a 9 year old those signs he's exhibiting are not signs of playfulness but autism especially the part you said he looks at the ceiling for hours.

Try to see if he can maintain a steady gaze or eye contact with you for a few mins. And also watch if he acts like he suddenly jolts back to reality.

Some autism are not so obvious but if you're well informed about it, you can tell even when its not so severe. And they are remarkably brilliant for those ones that it didn't affect their speech.

Take him to a specialist to check for autism. There are categories of this behavioural disorder.

Above all, take him to a good MFM deliverance minister to have a one on one deliverance session.
Please go to the MFM church o.and book a session with them.
God will heal him.

Don't disturb yourself leave him he will change just countinue putting him on pressure of doing the right thing he's still an underage... He will got to understand somethings when he's already getting 12

DeeMain:
It may not have been diagnosed yet but that your kid has a kind of learning development challenge is screaming at me.

Memory, focus, distractedness, forgetfulness are all key pointers to something going on.

That a child is brilliant and talented can mask these things or make parents overlook them.

Your child needs understanding, unconditional love, support and a solution to his challenge not more pain or fear mongering from you. Verbal abuse, beating or withdrawing loving behaviour might mess your child up.

Keep searching for different medical opinions till you find a doctor that understands his challenge and can help your boy.

Meantime, accept and love your boy to bits. Never stop loving him and helping him believe in and have confidence in himself.

Don't add to his problem. Be a solution.

i think dat trait is almost present in every child(boy child especially), the tend to be overly playful withing dat age range

Madam, first off that boy is just 9 years old, still a kid that you should give a birth and thorough wash, guide brush his teeth, not sure if you grew-up in Nigeria or how old you are but let me remind you, when we were kids his age some of us get pinned down after many many unbrushed teeth episode and our mum will use charcoal + chewing stick to give us a sparkling teeth, also, we will get home after school, drop our bags and strip off our uniform, next thing we disappear into the woods hunting birds with catapult, then to the open field to play football. We never know the pain our mum go through, sometimes, she will want you to go buy maggi for soup, she will not find you, she will go round neighbour, shouting your name, loud, "Omo, come home ooooo, God, which kind pikin be this-----".

Well, I will tell you this, you have a very smart kid, just don't worry, he will pick up and grow-up great. You will remember me for this, don't compare him to other kids, he is different and God made. Pray for him.

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.

Question...

all those stuff you mentioned; brushing teeth, combing hair, getting assignments done, etc...
Were you, or a nanny, doing these stuff for him before now??

jess2019:

Please learn to correct him in love, He will outgrow it. Just tell him what needs to be done in love, and try to explain to him why he has to do them. I'm sure he is going through a phase only him understand and it's your love that can bring him out of it sane!

He is perfectly normal I suppose. Children are often funny. But the fact that he doesn't do things as other kids of his age doesn't mean he is abnormal it only shows that he is unique. He is intelligent in his own way. Have you ever watched this Indian film, LIKE THE STARS ON EARTH? Pls do so. It has a lot to teach about kids of that nature.

Send him to a boarding school. He will learn.

Take him to naija. Let him have some level of education here. This could be spiritual also, hand him over to a Christian-disciplined family. Also enroll him for deliverance in MFM. Trust him, he ll b fine!

jess2019:


He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �

Stop him from becoming the next Michael Jordan or stop him from developing into a C Ronaldo. Hmmm.

I think his problem has to do with the absence of a father figure. What effort is your husband making? Sending him back to Naija can reconfigure his brains or a military school there.

Seeing a counselor might work too.

Mizwisdom:



Put him in a Nigerian boarding house, preferably missionary school, you won't regret it. I understand your concern for him please ignore the people who say you should ignore him they are the ones who raise nuisance here

Best decision ever.

olabrinks:
If his behaviour continues wait until he gets a little older and please send him to Nigeria. My parents sent me to Nigeria for boarding school 11 years ago I was 12,13 ish, and it was the best decision they could’ve done for me, I’m so grateful for them. Now I’m married with a child on the way, and I’m doing well for myself. If they ignored me, God knows how my life would’ve turned out. Whilst there, I met so many other children like me , and they all changed for the better. If you have someone trustworthy that can train your child up in Nigeria, it is better please. In the western world there’s only so much you can do, before they start calling the police on you and social services. Please give it a thought if the situation doesn’t change over the years. Your son will come back to thank you, because training at this age of 9 is very very important. If you can’t control him now at this age, it might only get worse honestly.

This is a good advice but sorry I want to digress cos I'm confused.
So you got married and pregnant within 5 days cos I followed your "I’m Scared I Might Lose My Fiancé" thread on Aug 14
Unlearn me pls

If you live in a Western country, why will you beat your child? Don't put yourself in hot soup with either the law or your child.

Give him some space to think and explore his mind, the world and his connection with it. Then, also give him avenues to express his mind. Through art, music, games, taekwondo etc.

Good luck dear.

AntiWailer:
Leave him alone.


Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.

He will out grow them with time.

You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.

Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.

Most improtantly, please pray for him.

If I were to be an MoD, I would have closed this thread after reading this post,most especially, before spoilers come in...
See dem see dem, dem don dey cum!