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I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? - Family (10) - Nairaland

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Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by shiloxman(m): 8:01am On Aug 21, 2019
OK.. I've seen something similar in a movie...


Kindly go to YouTube and search "stars on earth". Watch the clip, it'll help guard you more. +2348140367965 text on whatsapp I can recommend more

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by judetov2(m): 8:01am On Aug 21, 2019
gifted and talented kids behave this way...don't force him to do things he don't want to do...he knows what he is doing.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by phorget(m): 8:06am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.



Bring him back to Nigeria and make sure he resides in the core North. Whenever boko haram attacks let us see if he will remember to run for safety.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by lilytender: 8:10am On Aug 21, 2019
Mizwisdom:



Put him in a Nigerian boarding house, preferably missionary school, you won't regret it. I understand your concern for him please ignore the people who say you should ignore him they are the ones who raise nuisance here

Yes, please ignore those who said you should ignore him, these are the type of people that raise Bobrisky that is now a risk to the society and Kahfi that Big Brother himself cannot stay in the room alone with so that she(Kahfi) will not rape him. I think getting him really really busy with what he will love like Musical instruments or Chess or even sports may help out.

4 Likes

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by DJInfluence: 8:12am On Aug 21, 2019
So basically, he is just being a boy his age.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by JoyNHope(f): 8:16am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:


Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.

Please STOP beating or smacking him. All it takes abroad is one nosy neighbour or teacher and Child Protection Service will be called in. You know very well what I'm talking about. Also, beating is counterproductive as he has already formed the habit.

I have a 9 year old son too who has similar habits but is more inclined to try once in a while to improve...this is because his father steps in a lot. Please, encourage your husband to take up the challenge of guiding his son and enforcing discipline, it helps a lot. It will also give you a much needed break before frustration sets in.

Prayer is also important.. Everyday, make declarations of what you want your son to be. Declare it over him as he sleeps, declare over him before correcting him. I see a child who has a great destiny and these are distractions to divert him from his path.

It is well with your family in Jesus's name. Amen
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by SonOfUbunja: 8:16am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.



Lol. This is exactly how I was when I was a kid. Your boy's personality maybe campaigner, read on Google how to raise a campaigner kid.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by VulgarLee(m): 8:20am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:


Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.
i think thats the best thing to do
My cousin's sent his son down here years back, now he got his altitude and manners in check
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by starbright4real(m): 8:23am On Aug 21, 2019
gud day, pls i seriously need a job, i am a graduate of accounting (hnd) 07037799108

1 Like

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by BitmapStudios: 8:25am On Aug 21, 2019
Nothing is wrong with that genius! Stop worrying your self. Rather, see what likes best and does well; say like complex maths, electronics or computer, arts -poetry;music or painting or any other thing (even if it does not please you, so to speak) then find an after school private lesson teacher to him nature that passion.

Make a reward system for him; for example, give him a deal -if he brushes his teeth without being reminded for straight 2weeks, you would take him to an art exhibition (if he's a lover of art) or go to an orchestra event (if he likes music)..you know, things like that?

Lastly on my list and most importantly, don't get fed up, don't give up on your son - YOU ARE A MOTHER. Keep praying for him and direction from the Holy Spirit if you're a Christian or be positive minded. You are not raising an ordinary son, you're raising a genius and you can't use the ordinary formula with him.

Bless you and I'm so routing for you and your son. #Cheers!
cool
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by AntiWailer: 8:26am On Aug 21, 2019
Tellemall:


Popular misconception in a country where mental illness is so little understood.

Probably has some disorder, ADHD etc

Ruled out.

U no dey read ?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Miracast: 8:29am On Aug 21, 2019
[quote author=jess2019 post=81389742]My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.


Madam there is nothing with your son so far he is smart in school, keep reminding him but rather in a low voice and make sure you play a lot with him while correcting him. He will outgrow the stage soon, I was ones like him.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by femi4: 8:29am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.


Get him a girl - friend
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by frozen70(f): 8:34am On Aug 21, 2019
I think he is just forgetful, let's pray it doesn't affect his academics

I could have said take him to boarding school a missionary Nigeria boarding home where he will be tamed, that is if you are in Nigeria
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Buffalo2(m): 8:35am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:


Although it's not allowed here but I've moved from smacking to beating now but no change in his behaviour. I fear this boy will put me into trouble one day or grow up to hate me. I'm thinking of sending him to naija for one school semester but hubby refused.
Bring him down "Home".
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by GodSaklek(m): 8:35am On Aug 21, 2019
AntiWailer:
Leave him alone.


Some crazy stuffs comes with being brilliant and smart.

He will out grow them with time.

You have to keep correcting him in a balanced approach so he will not grow resistance against you.

Beating does not really help in some instances. At times when he is so sure you were going to flog him, call him and explain why he should do the right thing.

Most improtantly, please pray for him.

Beautiful write up there, but u spoiled it with your last sentence "most importantly,please pray for him",we so believe in fake foreign religions to the extent that,it has destroyed us here in Africa,yet it doesn't stop us from doing evil to each others,it doesn't helped us in solving our country and Continent problems, it doesn't make us grow or develop our Continent,yet we keep running our of the Continent looking for greener pasture from where they don't want us,praying to the wicked god(Satan) of Israel solve nothing but damage things more,because it will make u weak to find solution to your problems,take action, not prayer, don't be lazy.

@ Jess2019 , keep doing your best as a mother,nearly all Of us have different kinds of behaviors and characters when we are still a kid,one thing is certain,his behavior doesn't mean he will grow up to be a worst kid,don't stop what u are doing,make sure u now focus more on him,especially his daily activities,he will change as he grow up, and your efforts will also contribute to it,I remember when I was between 10 and 11 years old,I was too playful to the extent that my clothes will become dirty like a rag,It was reduced a bit wen my parents decide to let me started washing my clothes and my mum specially will ask me to wash it again if she checked it and discovered that it didn't clean enough,wen I remembered wat I went through before I get it clean,I reduce the way I got my clothes dirty, sometimes I will off my clothes if I wanted to play soccer with my friends,but things changed drastically wen I was between 15-16 years old wen I always see my friends and other male classmates will looked clean and tidy for them to look more attractive to female classmates and to people,this is when I realise that I must
always clean.. Keep trying your best,he will change,but if there is no improvement,let him started washing his clothes,u can start with four of his shirts,make sure u always there whenever he's washing them to make sure that they are clean to your satisfaction. And make sure u always remind him to do his assignments and other thing, u can visits his teacher,discuss it with him/her,and tell his teacher to always monitor and check his daily activities on your behalf,to particularly focus on him, with your help and his teacher, he will change as he grow up.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by CavemanDefuturo: 8:37am On Aug 21, 2019
@thinking i should stop him... Don't try it! You can reduce the hobbies/sports to 2. This is what my parents did to me and I've not gotten it right till this day, they realized later but it's already late as I'm a grown man now managing my wasted talents. You may have a sport genius in your hands and here you're getting worried over nothing... Those deficiencies you see are his strength.. Capitalize on it! Get him a brutal coach, let him expend all his energy on one or 2 sports maximum, the sports you think he does better than others (you can also ask him). Also consider enrolling him in musical classes, they have a way of bringing out the best talented in kids. Don't take this hard because its not a weakness but your son may not function well in conventional education, school, work, lifestyle as i suspect he is a gifted child. Those behaviors you mentioned like being overly forgetful.. Etc are caused by clashes of interest, alot of things are going on in his head as he is highly misunderstood... And yes he is day dreaming as that's the only place he can be his true self.. A sudo way of trying to escape the realities of the day as you and every other person he meets outside expects him to function in a certain way that doesn't come easy for him, so put yourself in his shoes now, as a 9 year old boy, try and handle all these conflicts in one mind/head and tell me why you wont forget your name... Lolz.
However, your son would eventually find his balance even in conventional places, class room, etc.. the moment you help him understand and development his gifts in an environment he's meant to thrive.

I hardly comment on here but the characteristics of your child sounds familiar to me, hence i felt an obligation to reach out to him through you. Get him a coach today or enroll him in a club/academy and thank me later.

jess2019:


He is very athletic and good in all sports. Plays basketball, soccer, swimming and athletic. He won two consecutive cross country and broke the state record in 300m race. High scorer in his basketball team; plays for two clubs.

I'm even thinking this behaviour
started since he became too active in so many sports. Thinking I should stop him �
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by martjay(m): 8:38am On Aug 21, 2019
[color=#006600][/color]
Raydos:
You seem to be putting a lot of pressure on this young kid!! Just relax!

As he grows, he'll learn all these automatically!!

Or are you one of those parent that want their kid to be like other kids or compare them with other kids!! Just chill, and stop teaching your boy things the hard way, Infact I was once like him before!!

Just take a chill pill and take thing easy on this little boy!! Everything will change as he grows up!!


Madam that boy is a star. He is good with sports and academic, he needs love and encouragement. Don't beat often, you can use other forms of punishment, like depriving him of what he loves most. Importantly, pray earnestly for him.

Modified: Please sorry I wanted to quote op
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by AscentSolutions: 8:39am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.



Not everyone is well put together as a child. I never used to write notes in primary school, id use my notebook to play biro games etc. But guess what I performed better than my peers. You can't give up on him, keep following him up. Find out what really interests him, his brain might be hyper active, maybe you are just dealing with a genius who's mind is too far for all these mundane chores.

Summarily, try to understand him, what his interests are. I suspect some mathematical stuff, get him invested in this area and enjoy your boy.

Btw, my mum bathed me till I left for boarding secondary school, say around 10. Neither did I wash or clean either. Truth be told many kids are not totally receptive of organisation, especially boys. Keep trying though, but don't give up on him and don't speak negative to him pls.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Broadenyourhori: 8:42am On Aug 21, 2019
jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.



There is absolutely nothing to worry about. The fact that he is doing well academically indicates he is mentally healthy.

From your write-up it seems to me that he is so reliant on being reminded to do simple tasks. This may be that due to you spoon feeding him in the past. Too much instructions will make a child become unable to do things or remember to do things on their own.

Having stick notes on the mirror is a good idea but not enough. You can use a pictorial methodology (Picture Exchange Communication system-PECS). Although, this is used for kids on the spectrum but I am sure it will help.

- Have a pack of photo cards with all the tasks he needs to do in the morning and order them by tasks.i.e this first, then this and so on.
- As he completes a task, he removes the card from the pack and places it somewhere else.i.e Task to do - Task completed
- Repeats the process until all the tasks are completed.
- Once he gets into the routine, you stop using the methodology.

Try this for couple of days/weeks and watch out for any improvement.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by saucepan: 8:48am On Aug 21, 2019
Your son is okay. He is a high achiever. Why not try positive reinforcement. Reward good behavior, thereby you focus less on his weakness and more on his strength.
I think he just has an overactive mind that wanders and wonders. And also know that he deliberately does some of what he is doing to get your attention.. So ask yourself, am I giving him enough one on one time? If you are, then try to ignore some of his antics. Trust me, I have 4 boys and I know most times , their antics are deliberate just to get a rise out of you. So play the game, don't always give the expected response. Finally, make him feel responsible, by enlisting him as your PA to run the home, talk to him and tell him you need him on board with his intelligence to make a team.

Finally, finally, take a deep breath and chill out. Nothing spoil. Most times as mothers we get worked up over nothing much. This is a phase. It will pass too. Take care.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by whizpa(m): 8:56am On Aug 21, 2019
Initially, I thought it was ADHD but after reading through the post, I guess not.. Based on all you've written, I reckon you might have yourself a little genius.. It's funny but from experience, that's usually the case.. I dunno why they do that but it seems like their minds are a level above the normal. They are always curious and often more than once, they tend to get carried away in their need-to-know..The trivial things like lacing their shoes, doing dishes, combing their hair don't matter matter to them.. But put them in a complex environment and you'll see how they thrive.. Try to get him involved in sports, Music or even Acting.. Depending on his interest.. If you feel he's just being stubborn then, There are several programs that help instill discipline in Kids. E. g., Judo Classes, Fencing, Kung-fu or even boarding or military school.
Next time, when you catch him staring at something, try asking his opinion on it.. You may or may not like what you'll hear but at least you'll get to understand him.

1 Like

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Graduateacher(f): 8:56am On Aug 21, 2019
Reptyle:


cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Sorry I'm not laughing at you oooo!

I showed your post to my wife and she asked me after reading "Please what is she complaining about?" cheesy cheesy cheesy

I have a 10-year-old boy and I can tell you for a fact that your post almost perfectly describes him.

You have nothing to worry about. What your son is going through is called "growing up." Just keep nurturing, guiding and directing. Bear the pain of constant correction and shouting for now. When you have to discipline him by spanking or corporal punishment, make sure you are in the right frame of mind and do it from a heart of love...not frustration at his behaviour.

Thank God he doesn't have a learning disability. Every other thing will fall in place duly. He will be just fine. smiley smiley



Your son is spoilt, send him to boarding house

2 Likes

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Holyvet(m): 8:59am On Aug 21, 2019
Bring him back to Africa and deal with him in our local way(since he knows what he is doing) e.g 'koboko' and sundry,enrol him in public school where koboko is allowed for one year and he will change either by fire,force or thunder,when he is back to his senses then take him back abroad with you.WADO!
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Graduateacher(f): 9:02am On Aug 21, 2019
martjay:
[color=#006600][/color]


Madam that boy is a star. He is good with sports and academic, he needs love and encouragement. Don't beat often, you can use other forms of punishment, like depriving him of what he loves most. Importantly, pray earnestly for him.

Modified: Please sorry I wanted to quote op


Is he a star like Baloteli? people that are potential stars still need to be displined to achieve their full potential, there are many stars that became drug addicts, pycopath, depressed plus much more due to faulty foundation
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by busayo2uk: 9:08am On Aug 21, 2019
Let me advise u. No child is untrainable, the question is 'what kind of training will fit'. On this basis, i will advise that you occupy him with other vocation which you think will interest him. This could be learning music, playing the Piano, drums, table-tennis, lawn-tennis, swimming, singing, computer programming, etc. You may be shocked that this vocation may interest him more than academic work.

The mistake we often make is to believe academic instruction is the best form of instruction. Lets give other form of instruction a try.

Thank you.

jess2019:
My son will be 9 in October but his behaviour bothers me so much. He acts like a day dreamer. He has turned me into a shouting and miserable mum as I had to beat him after I've exhausted other punishment options. To make this short, I'm going to summarise his behaviour.

He still cannot get himself ready for school in the morning. Either he doesnt cream his body or forgets to comb his hair or doesnt brush his teeth. He forgets to brush his teeth almost everyday. This made me to make a list of step by step sticker. I sticked this on their bathroom mirror and on his bedroom wall. Yet I have to keep reminding him everyday. For example, last week on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he forgot to brush his teeth and hair. I have to constantly be reminding him every morning. He is the only one that brushes teeth after getting ready. I trained them to brush teeth first before shower but he keeps forgetting.

I have to remind him to do his homework, and put it back in his school bag to return to school on Mondays. The book will still not make it to the school even after constant reminder. We've lost countless of lunch bags. One ended up on school roof. If you give him any form to submit back to his teacher. He will forget in his bag so I now give it to his sister to give to his teacher.

He removes his clothes, shoes, pants, belts etc and leave them on the floor, I bought two laundry baskets for him. One in his room, another in their bathroom, yet all his belongings end up on the floor that you can hardly find a space to put a foot. I dont expect him to be perfect but atleast to try so that his 70% clothes make it to the basket or shoes to their racks. He also has a book shelf and desk yet they also end up on the floor.

He plays so much that sometimes he leaves shops with items in his hands. So I have to always watch out for him. Living in a western country where black boys are stereotyped I fear for him. He can stare at the ceiling for hrs when getting ready for school or spend long time in the shower yet not using soap on his body. This usually makes us late unless I step in to help or keep shouting.

If you ask him to do any house chores, he will not do it instead waiting for us to forget so he can get away with it. When grounded not to watch TV, he will still do it once he knows am inside my room or busy with a baby.

Yesterday we revised all his lesson assignments (5 work books). I specifically asked him to put them in his lesson bag. I pointed at the bag. Now I drop him at the lesson only for him to say oh I think I came with old lesson books. I dont know how he ended up with old books in his bag. It could be he planned it as a way to avoid the lesson. If not I wonder how he will remember it himself as soon as I drop him and his sister as this is unlike him.

I've taken him to a doctor incase there is any diagnosis so I can give him all the help he needs but they said it's just his behaviour because according to the doctor he is smart academically. He is 18months ahead of his year level. So they ruled ADHD out.


Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Graduateacher(f): 9:09am On Aug 21, 2019
Dear madam, don't listen, I repeat don't listen to people who laugh over his behavior or ask you to ignore it, check their homes, their boys are future thieves & Yahoo boys further more their kids lack home training. Many parent feel that they don't need to train their children(boys especially) but that they'll grow out of their problems. What if they don't grow out of it? if you can't do it, send your son to me, I'm a disciplinarian and like kids, I will be his guardian in Nigeria and he can attend a military boarding school here, your son will be transformed for good. God bless u

1 Like

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by Nobody: 9:13am On Aug 21, 2019
Deprive him from playing his ps4, watching cartoons,animes, even playing games on any device, One of my coursemate is like that, this guy legit has no life outside animes, video games.
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by olite93(m): 9:15am On Aug 21, 2019
Thats a smart boi you have... Very special... Give him time and love. Show him how to do those things with love and also ask him how he wants things done.... Engage him in talks often.... Explain how happy you'll be if he does things you like... Also ask him how he wants to get things done... He's just like me
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by DavidEsq(m): 9:16am On Aug 21, 2019
martineverest:
it's Called ADHD or hyperkinetic disorder..it's what I'm still battling at my youthful age...over the last 3 months,I have been able to reduce it through yoga meditation,Neurobics and reflex games
Wow. We would talk more on this, ps
Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by ideabuilder: 9:16am On Aug 21, 2019
Lefty500:


Madam, the world is changing please help this boy, you said he is very athletic, why not help him on that path? Just make sure he can read and write, and you instil some words of God into his life.
A doctor told you he is 18 months ahead of his level, that's an indication that the boy is special, and he has to be treated specially. He might be deliberately acting that way because he's doing what he doesn't love, to me it looks like you're forcing school on him, because everything you've said revolved round school.
Reduce the time he spends on school gibberish, and let him spend more time on those things he loves, like that athleticism, and you turn on him like, if he doesn't brush his teeth or keep his room clean, no basketball game or no swimming for him, and you will see how he will change. He's trying to be forgetful when it comes to school because he has no passion for it.
Sports is bringing a lot of money now, and that doesn't stop him from schooling, you're evening in a better environment that allows one to combine education and sport.
Phil foden of Manchester City was still a college boy when he broke through Manchester City senior team, and he was being paid £90k per week, I'm sure a fresh medical or engineering graduate can't earn up to that.
Love this boy, and pray for him, and support him at this early stage, because if you force your way on him, and kill his passion, he might hate you forever.
I pray to God to give me smart kids and also help you train this boy.

OMG shocked at that young age, the boy is also setting and breaking records.

God please I want smart kids, and shine your light on them, and help me see what's best for them.

best best answer so far

the mother is the problem, forcing etiquette and school on a child that have other interests

I was just like the boy. in my own case, its my father. i ended up not following his dream and he made sure i didnt achieve mine. the mother definitely has the child best interest but the mother needs to understand how the boy interprets such gestures. believe me those are early signs and it about to get worse. i also support boarding school but not in 9ja. anything that separate the child and the mother.

1 Like

Re: I'm Worried About My Son's Behaviour. Is He Normal? by torvickof1312(m): 9:23am On Aug 21, 2019
Keep watching and correcting him, by the age of 12 and above he will adjust to your surprise. If i am not mistaken he is left handed, it will shock you how this child will organised things ahead of life. He will be supper intelligent.

Just do the primary assignment of watching and taking care of him.

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