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My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... - Family (11) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Sterope(f): 3:01am On Sep 15, 2019
How do you manage to convince yourself with such BS? What human with self respect isn't sensitive to hurtful words... especially from a spouse?

Had it been the roles were reversed, this guy would have walked out from the marriage. If you think you are too big to own up to.your faults, I can't imagine the type of women that mingle with.


friendl:
Women are very sensitive with words ,with time she will get over it ,don't ever beg her anymore ,pretend like nothing ever happened ,begging her often will bring those sad memories ,....

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by gbagyiza: 3:04am On Sep 15, 2019
zeb04:


Hmmmm .

I’d be very very hurt if my husband said that to me. It means to me that the foundation of ny marriage is faulty.

I bet she is reminiscing about the wedding. All the while dancing,laughing and planning her marriage but never good enough.

How about you go on a weekend getaway and truly apologize, then you leave it there.

People take time to forgive and heal, it doesn’t mean they are wicked. The healing process takes time.

Let us be frank in what we say, the women say this frequently to d men but the men r full of forgiveness. If most of d men will open up n tell you what their wives say against them, it is enough to bring down the union but they let it go n continue with life.. But here we r, a man angrily said those words, understood his mistakes n asked for forgiveness but d woman is busy taking d matter for head. Women don't forgive easily, they should do away with that kind of character.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by NaijaElba(m): 3:04am On Sep 15, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

same thing happened to me. I told her I regretted marrying her. That pierces her heart. She stayed away from me cos of that terrible statement. It was just yesterday morning she told me she's feeling empty already and we had to sort things out. we back together for good. I think we guys should be more careful with our utterances to all these our ladies. @OP nah u gho still do the job. YOu guys can talk it out and promise her not to say such anymore. I am talking from experience oo.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by seguno2: 3:06am On Sep 15, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

With time she will come around if you stay faithful and keep showing you are remorseful while going to extra length to show you love her.
Have you thought of writing her a letter expressing your regret that you said the hateful words? Maybe you can do that, if you are desperate to fast forward her returning to full love life.
Best of luck.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by NaijaElba(m): 3:07am On Sep 15, 2019
ollyboy009:
This is deep bro, i will still advice that you involve someone she so much respect in helping you apologizing to her, that will show her that you are serious.
You have a rear gem, pls don't lose her to your insensitivity. God bless your home!

@OP please don't involve a third party if you dont want problem in your home. be mindful of the advice u seek on this comedy forum.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 3:14am On Sep 15, 2019
Mumu 31yrs old is very old woman and you should let her know she's not your A team...never let her feel confident around you; women are evil by nature don't let her destroy you. If she's truly angry she will pack her load and leave..anything else na forming.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by flowx(m): 3:26am On Sep 15, 2019
missjo:

Hello Mr. Insensitive,have you had your daily dose of humanity today?

Though, those words really hurt her and he has since apologize in many occasions.

Now, do you want the guy to go and or what is your opinion anty daily dose?
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by cimag: 3:37am On Sep 15, 2019
For me,that lady is a very unforgiving type.Had it been that you haven't married her,you should let her go.I have said worse things to my wife and even slapped her two times since we married 7yrs ago,but she always forgave and we move on.How can you be begging and begging and begging,yet it doesn't touch her heart.What if she was the one who hurt you,does she expect you to carry the grudge for months?And I want to remind you that you have a wife who CAN NEVER forgive you if she catches you with another woman or even suspect you.If you do,your marriage is over forever.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Nobody: 3:39am On Sep 15, 2019
.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Goalnaldo(m): 3:43am On Sep 15, 2019
Since a guy mentioned that stories like this is been created by mods to drive traffic, I kinda feel indifferent when I see threads like this.
I really wish I didn't see the statement that day cry

This is hurting for the lady. The words were harsh. cry
But then again countless men go through this shi.t (women telling them there weren't who they wanted to marry) almost everyday and move on.
I pray that the lady truely forgive him expecially now she is expecting.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by seguno2: 3:49am On Sep 15, 2019
healthserve:

grin grin grin cheesy cheesy Just a pet name that could imply my little sweetie

Ouch, you don't know me by this moniker.

All join, just enjoy the flow. Your profile PC is super duper hilarious

Thanks for leading me (and I am sure a few others) to check out her profile cheesy
You are free to continue flowing with your chum chum offline. Please don’t forget to call us when the yam don done grin

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Surulereman(m): 3:52am On Sep 15, 2019
I feel your pain bro. Most married men have been there. It's comforting that you're contrite over your indiscretion. Nobody is perfect. Men are emotionally stronger than women in situations as this. Do you know what some wives have told their husbands who lost their jobs or businesses or suddenly became poor? Yet the men bore it all and even got motivated to rise again. The lady has to stop brooding and forgive. Nobody is perfect. Both should learn from their mistakes. Marriage is indeed for mature minds. The advice so far rendered on this forum to OP are enough to turn things around. It's up to the lady to forgive... otherwise, I fear her type.

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by topmag2019: 3:55am On Sep 15, 2019
Look at the woman Nigerians are complaining of missing their twerking skills in SA Despite the attack.

Watch Below:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SivBBuXIM7Q
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by seguno2: 3:59am On Sep 15, 2019
AleksAndria:
There's this statement that goes 'listen clearly to what someone tells you in anger, they've been dying to say it'..something like that.

Great philosophy.
Thanks

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Ganjafama(m): 3:59am On Sep 15, 2019
@charles1888 just show her this thread.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by frozen70(f): 4:03am On Sep 15, 2019
Charles1888:
I had to create a new account for this

I don't know how to get through to my wife anymore, of which the fault is mine, when we were dating, she showed that she was committed to me and loved me wholeheartedly but I was reluctant to marry her cos she was of age, I wanted someone younger, say under 25, but something important that i have to acquire made me marry all of a sudden and she was the only one available, don't get me wrong, I loved her then, her peaceful and humble soul but for some reason I simply can't understand I felt she wasn't enough, but I was wrong, she was perfect, the best I can ever wish for and more, she is everything,

After we got married, you know newlyweds now, the quarrels about every little thing, it was much then, so this particular incident made me so worked up and angry I made a statement I shouldnt have said, during the heated argument I told her that she was never who I would have married, that she wasn't my specs, she was too old (31 lol) that if someone younger was available I wouldn't blink twice before I'll marry the person.

After saying all that, I wasn't sober about it, she held on to that statement, I knew she cried that night, since then we don't talk, play, gist anymore, we became distant, though I apologised the next morning but things isn't just the same anymore, communication isn't there, she only talks to me when she wants to ask or say necessary things, nothing more, though she still cooks, we still have sex, infact every other aspect is fine except for communication, anytime I come back from work and I'm in the sitting room, she doesn't stay there, she either goes to the room or dinning room, I have begged and begged and I don't want to involve third party cos I obviously caused this, when she got pregnant, she didn't tell me till I saw the strip, when I asked why she said she forgot, and we had plans to celebrate when she takes in, I was sad that day, I begged and asked to tell me anything she wants and I'll do it, I'll make it up to her,,she said she wants nothing that she is fine, I love her, she is my baby, we use to be gist buddies, I missed that and I want it back.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's my fault I know that and I'm sorry I ever said that cos it hurt her deeply, I told her to tell me more evil things so that we will be even, she said she can't that she loves me, we are drifting apart, I can feel it,

Pls help me folks, I came here becos I want anonymous advise, what else can I do to make the hurt go away?

Am glad you recognise that you caused it

Just humble yourself and respect her more

Now that she is pregnant, get some chocolate, ice cream, roasted chicken, shawarma, pizza and lots of things for her to be eating once you can afford it

Give her a treat and pampere her as much as you can

When a woman is not talking, she is twice as dangerous as when she is talking and speaking out

Your care and show of love will calm her down over time because she is deeply hurt

Bring peace to your home especially now that a baby in on the way, she needs to be in the best state of mind

Lastly control your words on her, women don't like hearing harsh words from men, but they can say the worst thing with their mouth to a man and your ability to endure it is what makes you a man

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by EgunMogaji2: 4:09am On Sep 15, 2019
Please just do both of you a favor. Divorce already so you can both start fresh happily with someone new.

Hear this, once you’ve crossed a female species then forget it. They never forgive and you’ll just die a miserable human.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Greatdre(m): 4:09am On Sep 15, 2019
Op, I really understand your plight. Please, dont mind those blaming you oo..As a married man and from experience, all marriages pass through this at its early age. 6months after our marriage, I had a very heated arguement with my wife and I told my wife that I regreted marrying her, why did I even marry you? Bla bla bla...She replied by saying; I should have allowed her to leave when she wanted to...After the arguement, I apologised and we settled it but for some days, she kept repeating what I said during the arguement and even cry severally because of it. You know what I did? I called her mum to a meeting of 3 of us and we discussed it. My wife cried bitterly, purged her heart and repeated the offensive statement I made during the arguement and after the meeting, that was all. Infact, we now joke and make jest of ourselves about the kind of statements we both made in our early stage of marriage now. Hear this, couples make bad statements to each other at one point or the other, so you are not the first and it doesnt depict you as a bad husband. Early stage of marriage is the most delicate period of marriage, thats why there is high rate of divorce. Op, call her mum to a meeting, state the problem and you will see her pour out her mind and you guys will be fine again if she truly ever loved you. Note: That may also be her own mode of manipulation. She may be using that tactics to manipulate you. Women are very manipulative in marriage and I tell you, almost all husbands are being manipulated by their wives in marriage. i.e Signs of manipulative attitudes of women in marriage: crying, withdrawing, overtalking, shouting, nagging etc but this is another topic on its own. OP, this phase will pass away, we all have been there. God uphold your marriage

7 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Emmaino99(m): 4:09am On Sep 15, 2019
olabrinks:
If my husband said that to me, honestly it would break me. Age is so sensitive to women, you don’t know the pressure and scrutiny women face for marrying late. She found ‘love’ and now you use her age against her? The only human being that she thought was non-judgmental and she could find solace into? Her age, Something she can’t control? Even if it takes 5 years to forgive you fully, you must be patient with her. Words hurt deeper and mind you shes such a good woman because she still cooks, has sex and every other thing. Most women will show you pepper. Her body is there but her heart and soul has disappeared from the marriage.
Better person, nice one from you
It is well jare.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by EPIJOE: 4:10am On Sep 15, 2019
OP ABEG STOP BEGGING. WOMEN SAYS ALOT MORE HURTING WORDS TO MEN, AND WE STILL FORGIVE AND FORGET,
EVEN WHEN IN MARRIAGE SOME ARE NOT FAITHFUL AND THE MAN STILL FORGIVE COS OF LOVE.

EVERYONE IN LIFE HAD HIS OWN TIME, SO MARRIAGE AT 31ST YEARS OLD. ITS HER OWN TIME. SOO AT TIMES ITS GODS PLAN. SHE MUST BE MATURED TO UNDERSTAND THIS.

U HAVE TRIED ALL BEGGING AND NOTHING HAD CHANGED, WOMEN LIKE THAT CAN POISON U.

TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER IN THE FAMILY THAT SHE RESPECTS. IF NO CHANGES. U TOO SHOULD AVOID HER FOR A WHILE, IF SHE LOVES U AND SHE HAS CONCIENCE, SHE WOULD PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by mechanics(m): 4:15am On Sep 15, 2019
Maybe you should involve the elders in your church to intervene, next time you should learn to control your words, ladies don't forget easily either good or bad, say things that will edify the soul to her not things that will make her sad and cry.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by arrestdarrester: 4:18am On Sep 15, 2019
Do not involve anyone. Explain to her that you spoke out of annoyance and make a promise never to use your words to hurt her again. Imagine if it was she who told you she would have preferred someone more emotionally matured or richer compared to you. I just hope you learned your lesson.

Next thing is for you to begin to chase her like you want to toast her all over again. Do it consistently for 6 months. Be more physically affectionate and the jist will return.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Madas1986(m): 4:23am On Sep 15, 2019
usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO
Who's seeking for advice from a foolish person like you mumu

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Emmasnoop(m): 4:29am On Sep 15, 2019
Continue to show her that you love her, the 1 she dey do na initial gragra.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by edunaragold(f): 4:36am On Sep 15, 2019
Hey man ,u did the right thing even while u were angry,if i were u now don't began her again ,pls stop it,don't u know quarrrels are good sometimes its made to put both of u in your place ,hey man see it as a blessing, at list she has started respecting u now,leave that jist of u guys ,can't u open your eyes now that u have out her in her place were she belongs at list u said it that she dose all other necessary things, so its better that way,if u keep begging her ,u will be a big fool.remembered u are a man the Bible says a woman heart is to his husband desire.so try to leave with your mistake ,it's too late for correction. At list there is no more newly wedded quorells.respect is reciprcals.ore ko ju orilo.now mind your own businesses. When time come u will be see her subjecting her self to u,when she needed your help especially in that pregnancy. So leave her ,for your qurell has bring respect to u.,so learn to leave with your mistake ,after all u did not since u told her the truth. And the truth they say always hurt like a bitch as on first day sex

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Dadlakeside(m): 4:37am On Sep 15, 2019
ollyboy009:
This is deep bro, i will still advice that you involve someone she so much respect in helping you apologizing to her, that will show her that you are serious.
You have a rear gem, pls don't lose her to your insensitivity. God bless your home!

God bless you
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by mkoabiola: 4:38am On Sep 15, 2019
Some women don't forgive....
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Lawmak: 4:40am On Sep 15, 2019
usernamepass:
Bla bla bla..
Op shut da Vuck UP and hold your mount pim..
You are simply not man enough to discuss marrage talkless of getting married.
Real men dont talk too much..
I bet your mouth will leak again and you will repeat the same okpata yaRn again..
You have succeeded in keeling the woman in your wife and now that shes gone..
Bear your cross and dont you ever... I repeat dont you ever come on here to disturb our peace again.
Abi SA Xenophobia never do??
SHOOO

Bro wetin happen, y are u taking it personal. As if you have not wronged b4.
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by meetmeonline: 4:44am On Sep 15, 2019
'
'
'
'
'
SHE HAS FORGIVEN YOU LONG AGO, SHE IS ONLY DOING ALL THOSE TO SEE IF SHE CAN KILL THAT IMPRESSION IN YOU.
'
Just like virginity, it gets to a point-of-no-return where a woman now comes to full understanding that she is not her man's type of woman; this is that time.
'
I face the same thing too and now know how to handle this kind. Just continue life with her pretending you do not notice the changes again, but; LIVE WITH HER IN CLEAR SINCERITY (Like when a 3yr child had gone wrong and is back to mum)... Don't hide again but like a child (without pretending again), forget what you see and keep speaking to yourself everyday to promote gestures in you that will show her this is harmless to her and you'll start doing them naturally, then she'll balance over time.
'
'

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by leadword(m): 4:49am On Sep 15, 2019
ollyboy009:
This is deep bro, i will still advice that you involve someone she so much respect in helping you apologizing to her, that will show her that you are serious.
You have a rear gem, pls don't lose her to your insensitivity. God bless your home!
what a good advice from a wise person, someone like you still be on this site unlike some idiot who never serious for once...I second your advice..if I become the state Governor I will like you to be my adviser on human development. thanks

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Olaolex: 4:49am On Sep 15, 2019
I have nothing to say for now
But God will help you
Re: My Wife Is Slowly Distancing Herself From Me..... by Olaolex: 4:50am On Sep 15, 2019
[color=#550000][/color]
meetmeonline:
'
'
'
'
'
SHE HAS FORGIVEN YOU LONG AGO, SHE IS ONLY DOING ALL THOSE TO SEE IF SHE CAN KILL THAT IMPRESSION IN YOU.
'
Just like virginity, it gets to a point-of-no-return where a woman now comes to full understanding that she is not her man's type of woman; this is that time.
'
I face the same thing too and now know how to handle this kind. Just continue life with her pretending you do not notice the changes again, but; LIVE WITH HER IN CLEAR SINCERITY (Like when a 3yr child had gone wrong and is back to mum)... Don't hide again but like a child (without pretending again), forget what you see and keep speaking to yourself everyday to promote gestures in you that will show her this is harmless to her and you'll start doing them naturally, then she'll balance over time.
'
'

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