Creamish:

@Tkb . . watever rocks your boat . . go ahead n marry at 45 and have your first child at 48 . . . lets hope u become a president too since for u, Obamaz basically all d reason y late marriages for men makes a whole lotta sense. U think a naija old man and a yankee old man will av d same agility . . . u better start eating healthy, stop smoking n drink less system damagin concussions.  

errrm

i didnt talk about Obama and Americans

i used IBB/OBJ and so your post is invalid!

when a man/woman marries has got nothing to do with age; convenience, maturity and ability to keep a spouse are the ingredients

only the society rejects jump unto marriage cos the next door neighbour just signed the dotted lines

and about the smoking and drinking spat, where did you get that?

maybe i shouldnt have allowed Jomo Gbomo put me on the thread. Now ure of the reasons NLders assume fake identities so people dont start bandying fake gists about them

i reiterated on that thred some of the things put up there were not TRUE but u disregarded to make points

This thread is not about me so kindly de-emphasize tkb and address the issue/s

^
dayokanu made d comment. lol
obama must have married at 36 if he is now 48 yrs old with a 12yr old daughter.
36 is not a bad age to marry if you have attained the level of education and accomplishment that man has. in fact, many men are marrying in their mid 30s nowadays.

what is the purpose of having 10 kids by age 25 when you don't have the good job to cater for their well being?
most educated people tend to eat better and live healthier lives anyway. and tend not to be too obsessed with having a male child 

^^^

36 is not a bad age to marry if you have attained the level of education and accomplishment that man has. in fact, many men are marrying in their mid 30s nowadays.

what is the purpose of having 10 kids by age 25 when you don't have the good job to cater for their well being?
most educated people tend to eat better and live healthier lives anyway. and tend not to be too obsessed with having a male child

exposure is key!

The ability to know when and whom to marry is not a small thing

why should i get married when i wont be able to raise the kids the best way or when my wife would be humping molue with pregnancy?

i will marry when i know my wife will live like a queen and oh yeah, ill be married well b4 i clock 36

10 ids at 25?wen u no b OJB JEZREEL

tkb417:

^^^
exposure is key!

The ability to know when and whom to marry is not a small thing

why should i get married when i wont be able to raise the kids the best way [b]or when my wife would be humping molue with pregnancy?

i will marry when i know my wife will live like a queen [/b]and oh yeah, ill be married well b4 i clock 36

i don't get the bolded part.
many nigerian men have this paternalistic mentality toward their wives and it baffles me. this idea that the wife should and must be financially dependent on the husband.
this is the reason why most are looking for young girls who are in their most naive and financially gullible state.
then they complain that nigerian girls are materialistic. you guys feed into the idea that your role is to provide everything for her even though you know what idea is very unrealistic.

oyinda.:

i don't get the bolded part.
many nigerian men have this mentality and it baffles me. this idea that the wife should and must be financially dependent on the husband.
this is the reason why most are looking for young girls who are in their most naive and financially gullible state.
then they complain that the girls are after their money.

The Husband is the head of the house

my wifes riches/money is hers and i do not intend to share responsibilities with my wife

i get what ure trying to say but its not uncommon in this part of the world for wives to depend on thier hussies financially, emotionally, spiritually

i shd be the pilot and my wife a passenger not a co-pilot ( even if she knows how to fly a plane)

thats when they started seeing grey hairs in THEIR pusccy and they realise time is going

at least this will solve overpopulation problem in naija. lol

@oyinda,it we surely help jaare,

^^^^
hehehehe

na wa for u Creamish joh

ur body too dey hawt abeggi. wetin

like seriously, im supposed to marry next year if my ojukokoro will allow me

@ OP

They just can't help it. Can they? They have to play hard to get and frolic around with playboys when they are still younger.

thats what the smart asses here do,marry at 45 after playing around,probably to a 25yr old then retire b4 their kids are in high school.
if they dnt start sufffering frm low libido by then,then they re hypertensive and diabetic, the wife then becomes both mother nurse and breadwinner in some cases, seriously guys,do u think time stands still for u?this stone-age nigerian ape-men wont cease to surprise me!

^^
oginni

This thread is about ladies. No start ya own for here

guys wake up,  gone are the days when we wait till we are 40 before thinking of marriage. the time we wasted around with our sweet heart should have been used wisely in going into marriage with her. it pays a lot to have your kids when you are way younger.  ladies age should not be a problem. the older the more respectful there are.
unfortunately am above 30 but not yet married i wish I had the opportunity to do it before now.
If i am blessed with kids. i will definitely encourage them to go into marriage earlier than i did.

^^
ko sowo syndrome is the reason guys are chilling

abi why u never marry?

Its really interesting and mind buggling.
For me the way I see this whole thing is that the natural mate selection time which our traditional African societies adapted to is in a clash with today's society and western ideals. Off course I do not neglect the advantages of the western modeled society and all, but what we practice is an imperfect emullation of western culture, it has messed up marriage for both males and females.

This is how:
Men and women are truly vulnerable to fall-in-love in their late teens and very early twenties. This is due to the combined effect of the psychology of a new exciting experience and increasing level of sex related hormones. A natural design that is intended to get the individual paired to a mate, hence marriage. In olden days it was perfect, as all men needed to give security to a lady was willingness for hard work and a farmland. (Please do not ask me if materials and security are that important, yes they are and women have a natural instinct to look out for them to prepare the best possible conditions for her offsprings. It is same as the Alpha Male phenomena, where the more daring and successful males wins the mates. That’s why I do not hate when I came across women that love money to a fault)

In today's Nigeria, when the boys are falling in love at the late teens they have hardly anything to offer a girl apart from sex and fun-time, so that natural instinct in women that insist she assess a guy for materials and security in preparation for offsprings, rejects the guy. Today’s ladies eventually fall into the pattern of dating men that belong to the older generation to her’s. Initially this might be one or two years but the age gap keeps expanding, Peaks around when the lady is 24-25 years, and begins to decline.

[img]http://C:\Library\boys.jpeg[/img]
The economic situation in the country means that at the ages of 15-20 for females and 15 to 25 for males no marriages occur, or a very small number of the relationships result in marriage.
Unfortunately it has some consequences,

Within this time both males and females have fallen in love with one to three different people, in succession, with the average of three failed relationships reinforcing the perception that the opposite gender has ulterior motives for getting into relationship.

This is initially false, but as most people become financially weaned from their families around the age of 21-22, ladies begin to look for more financial support in relationships while men look for free sex.  
By the time ladies reach the Age of 23 -24 and Men 27, hardly anyone in the generation population believes in the naivety and innocence of love anymore. “I love you” becomes a call to some form of contract negotiation which can take many forms but is basically “give and take.”

The ideals of faithfulness and exclusivity of mates becomes meaningless as the number of lover are already so many, they are now replaced by the value for “playboy or playgirl skill” and the anti-virginity movement. In fact some people take it to the extreme and spend their twenties just enjoying sex and hurting their sex mates.

Ladies at this time (24) realise the timing of their flower age and would feign or try to cultivate love for any male that is fairly acceptable who proposes marriage, Men who are ready to marry are usually btw 28-35.  Men on the other hand from around age 28, consider most women of their same age bracket as used and wayward and will rather marry much younger girls (20-24).

This feeling is essentially a reaction to earlier frustrations, between the ages of 23-25 most men find it difficult to compete favourably for same age females they truly have feeling for, with older men (28-35) who are already earning income. This is the peak point in their numbers being rejected by females for older men. The males will later vent out against such rejection against those females of their age who are not married by 28-30.  

All in all, males and females end up redefining love to suite their conditions, many try to cultivate love, others feign love. People surely and truly fall in love in their late teens and early twenties. That is why most people still retain some feelings for the very first person they truly loved all through their lives. People can still fall in love at other times, but hardly with the same strength, energy and dedication.
Is there anything we can do to reverse this time lag between males and females, as the days go by it becomes larger.

I would really love to get your comments, opinion and counters, esp. NubianQueen. For me after the first early heartbreaks I took a break from relationships. I did not want to have the memories of too many relationships clouding my mind in truly loving my wife or make me to always interpret her actions. The real tragedy is the boyfriends vs girlfriends war that spring up every time relationship issues are mentioned. I would love to really love a woman in that simple, silly and naive way that makes it awesome now that am ready to get married. The challenge is finding a girl that does not mind loving in a silly and naive way too, and I think I just found one.

If you could not read my long write up, please do not take offence

hahahaha nice topic, but is it a must that every woman must get married, and is marriege the final ans to all women problem, what is the real deal with women and husband, i think some ladies dont have what it take to be a woman, most of the richest women in this life has no husband,eg opera w,

^^^
Ok, if you managed to read it, do you agree with my tots?

^^
long but makes sense

Speechless.

WHY CANT WE ACCEPT THE FACT AND MOVE ON. I MEAN IF IT IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY FOR GIRLS TO WAKE UP BY 27, UPCOMING ONES SHOULD PLAN THIER LIVES IN ORDER TO AVOID THIS AND THOSE THERE SHOULD BRACE UP FOR PROMISING RELATIONSHIP.

@ kengali,
i particularly like the last part. 'll state my point of view on some of the things you mentioned

@Kengali, nice work there. Its particularly true that there's more fire in a relationship where both parties are between their late teens and early twenties. Its just very hard for them to eventually end up together. I can't picture myself keeping it till late only for me to end up with someone in the same age bracket except its from that passionate era of 18-22 and with a girl who kept it real somewhat.



I want to correct the OP's impression that men only start having fun by 27. I think that perception is old-school to many dudes out there who between 20-22 are already university graduates. The reason i'd accept for guys still being single as at the time girls (the ones that are interested in marriage, that is) start getting desperate is the harsh economic reality.


I'm an apostle of early marriage for both sexes. Being a young dad is a great thing, I tell ya.

In today's Nigeria, when the boys are falling in love at the late teens they have hardly anything to offer a girl apart from sex and fun-time, so that natural instinct in women that insist she assess a guy for materials and security in preparation for offsprings, rejects the guy. Today’s ladies eventually fall into the pattern of dating men that belong to the older generation to her’s. Initially this might be one or two years but the age gap keeps expanding, Peaks around when the lady is 24-25 years, and begins to decline.

What they lack at this age is not only finance, they also lack the maturity they need to deal with a woman. A woman, in reasoning is about 4yrs older than her male age-mate. dont ask me to prove this. . .I just know it. and many girls believe so

This is initially false, but as most people become financially weaned from their families around the age of 21-22, ladies begin to look for more financial support in relationships while men look for free sex.
By the time ladies reach the Age of 23 -24 and Men 27, hardly anyone in the generation population believes in the naivety and innocence of love anymore. “I love you” becomes a call to some form of contract negotiation which can take many forms but is basically “give and take.”

This isnt entirely true,many people look forward to this time to find their true mate whom they hope to get married to.

I really ha d a good laff at some personal comments on this thread. never a dull moment here.

@ OP, you touched some salient points here, and i cldnt agree less especially with regards to our very own clime here, our ladies working in the western world may imbibe the western outlook towards marriage and de-emphasise all you have said.

@nubianq, i sure did gleamed some salient points from all you posted(I must confess you have a way with words both good and cuss, )

most Nigerian ladies make it a desperate thingy to settle down due to societal pressure, a lady friend friend of mine stopped talking with me because i cautioned her against her excessive marriage-self-advertising all over the place even on fb, she ended up having her love pot been shatterd by various d**k sizes all in d name of marriage and is still single as at today(shez abt 33yrs).

On a lighter note, i remember a lady friend of mine who directly proposed marriage to me. During our school days, they all refused to date any class guy and was after the big shots outside, surprisingly i did my NYSC with this same chick in same location and she was still upbeat abt dating her mates, co-incidentally, we all ended up in Lagos for greener pastures and we became plain friends. Some years after, she looked me in the eyes one day and told me to come marry her, i laughed in pidgin , na so? after all the yrs of flinging, i will now inherit the residue, , anyway i politely thanked her and declined the offer. she is 32.

my take is, having a union is desirable and biblical, however, not everyone is cut out to be in one, if you try your best and it doesn't come along, just tag along and live a happy life. adopt a baby (so many of them out there), and besides an upwardly mobile lady can afford to get any guy she wants (most guys are on the look out for such), meanwhile if you are an igbo girl, na different kettle of fish for you oooooo

@kengali permission to copy out some of your comments for a research work