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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? (16159 Views)
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Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:45pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
OAM4J: Lol Leave date matter jor . . . . I still need to try out the 'fish' you promised me. You know I go to the higest bidder na I wouldn't want to rush in and short-change myself! |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:46pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
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Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:46pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
babasoty: Haba don't lie jare . . . . you know who! |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:51pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Haba don't lie jare . . . . you know who! ur just so funny, i still don't know sha, I pray someday u tell us all |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by netotse(m): 4:53pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Ujujoan:you know how silly a guy would sound if he told a girl that the fact that he is in her life is enough reason for her to do better. . .? all na diplomacy. It's the same way people advocate saying when you do X it makes me feel Y, i'd rather you did Z instead of i dont like it when you do X see ehn. . . you need to deal with us carefully. . .flatter our egos while steering us in the direction you want us to go. . .you might mean well, but how you go about it just might become your undoing in the end. . . like they say, the best intentions dont always bring about the best actions. . . |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:56pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
chaircover: That's what I've been trying to say! |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 4:59pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
netotse: I didn't mean it that way . . . I just think I have better ideas that could be explored instead of continually making the same mistake! Of course I could be wrong, but hey dont I deserve to be heard at least? babasoty: Lol . . |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by netotse(m): 5:04pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Ujujoan:yep. . .i was trying to tell you that the vehicle by which you achieve your goals should be stealth. . .no need for you to tell him your idea is better, just get him to carry out your idea in the end. . . |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by OAM4J: 5:16pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Ujujoan: yeah right, I just put a call to the fish, he needs your current pictures (no photoshop pls), statements of all your accounts (just to confirm how you manage /mismanage/miscalculate money) and your CV, pls send then asap cos there are many candidates to consider On a serious note, pls take your time and be sure you are ready to accommodate this man's weakness b4 you say 'I do', chaircover was right about the headache/migraine analogy. The chances of someone changing his personality in marriage is slim. But I also think you have the capacity to adjust and accommodate things, and you can learn the wisdom to 'manipulate' things to your advantage. Just be be very sure before you sign off your future. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 5:20pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
netotse: I guess u r right sha! OAM4J: Awwww . . . he cares! Thanks for d advice . . . |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 5:23pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Oh crap . . . I don't want this on the front page! |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Meldrick(m): 6:14pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
mutter: Sincerely, i like the way you get things done. The lesson a lot of ladies have to learn is that you can make your point known and get whatever you want from your man without getting into a confrontation. Men have soft spots no matter how rigid or sturbborn they seem. You must kniow the right switches to press and the concretes to melt. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by madchen(f): 6:23pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
@ Topic: You usually can't! If the person is closed-minded as you described! They are usually narcissists and bigots! Breaking through would be a miracle |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by buzugee(m): 6:26pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
you dont |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by dayokanu(m): 6:33pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Mutter, WOuld you marry me as your second husband? |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 6:38pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
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Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by iyes(m): 6:41pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Do anything you want, but you just don't marry him/her. Shikena! |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by dayokanu(m): 6:42pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
chaircover: She can handled close minded people like me |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by ifyalways(f): 6:42pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
dayokanu:There are 2 ways to a cemetery,with ur legs or . . . . |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by dayokanu(m): 6:49pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
^^ Can you handle a close minded person like me? Otherwise go and find my Toyosi for me |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by femivictor: 7:42pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 9:34pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
I was about to chip my weigh in before realizing I am actually facing a similar situation. I got into a heated argument recently over faith and sex before marriage issues with my girlie of two yrs whom is a staunch catholic. Consequently, she told me she may not continue with me cos of my misgivings about religion and stand on certain issues I'd been hiding from her all along. Oh well, I've been reeling and secretly hoping we could still manage. I can sacrifice whatever beliefs I harbor for the sake of a healthy relationship with her. But then again I was struck by the fact that she was "closeminded" and wasn't willing to see my own point of view for the sake of argument as much as I was willing to see hers |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by basher(m): 10:16pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Uju, dating allows couples to test the waters extensively before taking the definitive plunge. Where red flags are raised or warning signs pop up, they have to be looked into EXTENSIVELY because it's very difficult to do these things in a sensible manner once married. To a large extent, it's mostly pointless tackling these issues in marriage (especially if kids are in the picture), because if the result is not to your liking the options available are grim. Like someone pointed out earlier on, it's very unlikely that a grown man would change his habits during marriage. If anything, he actually gets worse as he gets older and conservative. If he is "annoyingly inflexible and unreceptive to (your ) new ideas", then this may lead to arguments (which are worse in marriage) and misery which may lead you to (rightly) crave for and seek succour from a like minded person outside who'll be likely be male, , I think you get the picture. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by UNLEASHED(m): 10:18pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
@Horayce, If she's to have her say, then she'll probably describe you as "close minded" either |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Nobody: 10:30pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
^ nah, i'm open minded that's y i said i want to work things and find a middle ground, rather than end a rnship on the alter of a nonsensical belief that has no value compared to my rnship with her |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by Harus(m): 11:14pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by yodiyokun(f): 11:23pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
basher: We know teh difference between caring love and controlling attitudes. A controlling nature is generally suspicious, abusive with words both in private and infront of you and is generally has no regard for your accomplishments or who you are, you can easily identify this. However, amn that wants to be in charge doesnt necessarily have to be abusive or controlling. Also please note that all these knwo your spouse very well before you marry, trust me there will be some things you will miss. Either because you are in love or because situtaions never happens that warranted such behaviour. Curveballs exist in marriage, its how you deal with it that matters. OP, be wise in taking your decision, every relationship is different. Try out @mutters suggestion and see how it works for you. All I can say is that, there are very many worse problems than a man that is in charge and wants to be in charge. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by yodiyokun(f): 11:29pm On Dec 14, 2010 |
yodiyokun, I could just give you a hug!!! Seriously, we need to hook up. You words are worth their weight in gold and I have already got one or two things I'm going to try out with my hubby. Is your e-mail in you profile? I wouldn't mind chatting with you sometime later, if thats okay with you. I dont know why seun refused to enable PM on this chat board. Yodi. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by mutter(f): 12:22am On Dec 15, 2010 |
We certainly do. How can I send you my email without it being seen by everyone? |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by chika98: 12:24am On Dec 15, 2010 |
Keep butting heads until somebody gets tired of the two heads ramming in. |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by dayokanu(m): 12:25am On Dec 15, 2010 |
mutter: If you dare send any email, I would see and copy it. I say I wan marry you, You no answer since. You wan make I kidnap you? |
Re: How Do You Deal With A Close-minded Spouse? by mutter(f): 12:28am On Dec 15, 2010 |
dayokanu, sorry I am married, I feel flattered but you know I think I am also just too old for you. My kids are the once getting married now |
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